I belong to an online group for writers. A poster found these on the web; the "worst analogies ever", taken from high school essays. They cracked me up.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable Soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer with no Cling Free.

Too cute!

Well maybe not numbers two and three...ick. Just ick.

Wait, number one is pretty gross too.

Those are too funny, and a couple are just plain gross, lol.

My personal favorite:

My chest was heaving like a bulemic after Thanksgiving dinner.

"McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup" is actually quite descriptive and while gross, is a good analogy.

2 & 3 are just plan nasty:puke:

Hehe, here's a few Aussie ones.

She bangs like a dunny door

She's built like a brick sh*thouse

She has a head like a robber's dog

Hmm, none particularly complimentary!

Are these really analogies? I thought that the comparison of two things using the words "like" or "as" was a simile.

First, Australia is no longer a continent, now this! I'm too old to read anymore.

Are these really analogies? I thought that the comparison of two things using the words "like" or "as" was a simile.

First, Australia is no longer a continent, now this! I'm too old to read anymore.

Those ARE similies, Sue. Thanks for pointing that out. The original contained both similies AND analogies, and since I only used the similies, I should have changed the title.

Just downright laziness on my part! Sorry to confuse you!

When McBride came to a screaching halt after he fell 12 stories, it was as if a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup had hit the pavement.

Analogy Now?

When McBride came to a screaching halt after he fell 12 stories, it was as if a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable Soup had hit the pavement.

Analogy Now?

YES! And a couple more from the same source as poor McBride.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that

resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball

wouldn't.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball

wouldn't.

I think this is the worst one so far. It isn't really funny and doesn't serve to illustrate a point.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball

wouldn't.

I think this is the worst one so far. It isn't really funny and doesn't serve to illustrate a point.

Well...they WERE all written by high school students. This was probably the best some jock could come up with.

When McBride came to a screaching halt after he fell 12 stories, it was as if a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup had hit the pavement.

Analogy Now?

I don't think so...and Sister Mary Angela, my expert on this topic, is nowhere to be found.

Anyone here ever read about the Bulwer-Lytton contest. The 1983 First Prize--the first one on the list--remains my favorite.

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/lyttony.htm