ElyQuint

I love that this has provoked thought and I agree with you Elf, its reflected everywhere in our society. I didn't have value until I had struggle. We teach our children that our hero's are those who rose up out of adversity. If we were mass raising martyrs this would make sense.

Well I might never do a Marathon or a Dualathon like some have on here...but I am one step closer to exercise...I couldn't find the bike I wanted in the stores so I went ahead and ordered it. its not a bike but an adult size tricycle and will be starting back at the Cantrell Center very soon. so I am on the road to "EXERCISE" in conjunction with my "BAND" and hoping to see some of these pounds come off faster...maybe I will be able to work up to a few miles on my trike and alot of lapses!!! Here's hoping!!! Have a great day everyone.

I love that this has provoked thought and I agree with you Elf, its reflected everywhere in our society. I didn't have value until I had struggle. We teach our children that our hero's are those who rose up out of adversity. If we were mass raising martyrs this would make sense.

@Mrs. Whatsit sorry you are having such difficulties...and it may be cliche....but "this too shall pass"... things will get better and the weight will start to come off and you will look back and wonder why you regreted the surgery in the first place... keep us up to date so we can find out how you are feeling/doing... the first few weeks can be trying for many new WLS members, but it WILL get better!

Nice post, Ely.

Wow. It's sort of like you live inside my head. I love the way you write. I wish I felt as brave to "just be". You can tell you've done a lot of "work". I'm thinking I should probably start seeing someone to tackle the demons that got me where I am. Surgery definitely didn't fix my brain. Very good post. Makes me think. Transformation and Authenticity are things I really want, yet seem so far away.

I love that. Does it really matter if I took the easy way out or are the results what matter? I get really hung up on this question too. I had a thin friend tell me she was jealous I had surgery because now I don't ever have to worry about overheating. Boy! She doesn't live in my head, that's for sure! But it made me feel as if she might judge this as an easy out. But I honestly don't care. If it's the easy way out oh well it's still a way out (and I don't believe it's been easy).

(Hit send by accident) ..... It's not like we're fooling anyone or luring someone away from a more righteous path by being thin but "secretly one of those fat people inside".
We aren't defined by being obese persons trying to blend in.... We are each defined by our own beautiful selves.... And this is all part of the journey.

I thought about this some since the original post. I think the problem is the idea of penance for immorality. Like if you screw up, you should do x times the amount of penance to show you're REALLY sorry...
Obesity is pervasively seen as some kind of moral failing (and believe me, I KNOW IT'S NOT!!) but so many of us felt like we needed to find "real" reasons for our obesity, beyond "ate too much and didn't exercise", because there is SO MUCH JUDGMENT about obesity!!
So we look for reasons: genetics that cause us to store extra fat, physical ailments that prevented us from being active, family who taught us to eat the wrong things, medications that made us eat too much ("body by prednisone!") etc. Anything to not be "that fat lazy **** on the couch", to not be some nameless faceless statistic, but instead to be a real person who has a real need for help.
Now comes the penance! We still feel like obesity is some sort of moral failing, so we feel like we need to work extra hard to show how "sorry" we are! Extreme diets! Hellish workouts! Pain and suffering!! And if we're successful, we can say we've finally "won", we've appeased the almighty cosmic scoreboard!! Somehow we're now "even" with someone who had a healthy relationship with food and exercise from day 1. Maybe we're even a little better than that person, since we now have experience and compassion, and that person has looked down at our "failing" all along. Or they would if they knew us. Or they'd have compassion if they REALLY knew us because it IS NOT a failing of our personal morality, but a product of so many experiences that leaves us in this predicament.
What would surgery do? It might erase the shame and humiliation that we think we HAVE to feel... Without all the self-flagellation and punishment! It's like cutting in line!! "Good" people might not recognize that we're secretly awfully immoral inside....they might love us as people like we've been worthy of it all along...
THIS WHOLE LINE OF THINKING IS COMPLETE BULLPUCKEY. WE ARE REAL PEOPLE. We are not nameless statistics for some news outlet to bombard the rest of society!! We are not immoral, and we DO NOT NEED REASONS. We are beautiful humans, with all the amazing perfections and flaws that ALL HUMANS HAVE. We are astounding creations - whether you believe we're creations of God or we've evolved to this point, the fact remains that it's FREAKING AMAZING. And we don't need to feel guilty, or bad, or like failures, or like we need to do penance for sins that we didn't commit alone.
We will anyway, that's part of humanity... But there is no "erasing", and it's not like

I guess it depends on your individual motivations. My tool will get me through the door but it won't keep me in the room. I did this to help make a healthy lifestyle more accessible and manageable and I want longevity from my tool so I can drive your skinny butt to dialysis twice a week. Now gimmie one (yes, one) of those eggs!

I guess it depends on your individual motivations. My tool will get me through the door but it won't keep me in the room. I did this to help make a healthy lifestyle more accessible and manageable and I want longevity from my tool so I can drive your skinny butt to dialysis twice a week. Now gimmie one (yes, one) of those eggs!

I guess it depends on your individual motivations. My tool will get me through the door but it won't keep me in the room. I did this to help make a healthy lifestyle more accessible and manageable and I want longevity from my tool so I can drive your skinny butt to dialysis twice a week. Now gimmie one (yes, one) of those eggs!

I guess it depends on your individual motivations. My tool will get me through the door but it won't keep me in the room. I did this to help make a healthy lifestyle more accessible and manageable and I want longevity from my tool so I can drive your skinny butt to dialysis twice a week. Now gimmie one (yes, one) of those eggs!

I have eaten too many carbs lately... I need to re-focus...

I guess it depends on your individual motivations. My tool will get me through the door but it won't keep me in the room. I did this to help make a healthy lifestyle more accessible and manageable and I want longevity from my tool so I can drive your skinny butt to dialysis twice a week. Now gimmie one (yes, one) of those eggs!

Sounds Ike you may have been living a little dehydrated. Your body is just holding on to what it needs... For now

I think I'll just sit here with my cup of tea and watch the fireworks. Been a while since we've had such a good stirring of the pot

Why are you upset that people choose to live differently than you???
That's a big rant over others eating healthy. ???

Kudos to you for that major weight loss. That is quite an accomplishment. I don't recall anyone on this forum judging anyone for what they have eaten or not eaten. I don't really believe there are any perfect people on this forum as we're all human and prone to make errors on a daily basis. Each one of us approaches our weight loss struggles in our own unique and individual ways. Most of the posts on here are just asking for support and clarification on diet delimmas. We can't fault people for that now can we? Some people can lose weight without ever weighing and counting or measuring and I'm happy for them but not all people can do it that way. Those of us that have to measure and count do so because that is what works for us. Many of us that had the Gastric Sleeve surgery didn't have problems losing weight in the past. Our problem was that we would gain as soon as we got off the diet which caused the yoyo problems of bad health. We're not dieting, we just changed our food lifestyle and this is our new normal. We too are using our expensive tool to keep us on track. Because we choose to do it differently does not make us wrong. In fact, the medical community encourages our methods over the one you have chosen. Either way, I wish you much luck and continued success.

I went to a horse related obstacle course clinic. The horses had to do some things they initially did not like. I loved the trainer's response "too bad, if you don't like it you shouldn't have been born a horse - get over it"
The point being is that real life we all have sh*t we don't want to do, it isn't always fun and we need to just deal with it - our lot in life you might say.
I have been wondering, especially after reading the direction this thread is taking about something. As a kid, i wasn't really allowed to have an opinion, thrown tantrums or talk back. I stuffed alot of pain (neglect, abuse etc) with food. I wonder if on some level, what i am going through is that inner need expressing itself. I have been a responsible mature adult since about age 8 and I wonder if on some level, i have some growing up to do. I wonder... I really do... if I have that childlike view at an unconscious level, that life should be wonderful.
Well, life is wonderful, but just not 100% of the time...
Anyway, it is a mystery to me still but I do hope that I work through it all soon as it is not alot of fun. What is strange to me is that I did not go through the emotional rollercoaster due to food deprivation during the weight loss phase - or if I did it was minor. It is quite a delayed reaction for it to show up 28 months post op, but it fits with my personality. What I mean is I learned to really "push through" hard times through my life and most likely deny some deep emotions in the process... showing up now??? Who knows.

The best advice I got about sad spells was just to lie down and let yourself feel it without distraction, and then you'd get bored in a few minutes and want to move on. It works a lot of times.
I'm not a vet, but I joke about how I will feel a bit adrift at goal weight--it's like dieting was my life's work, and what will I do once it's been accomplished? (I'm sure I'll figure it out,lol, it's just weird to think that such a big, consuming thing will be checked off my list!)

Ice cream was one of my downfalls of the past. Now I take chunky frozen fruits, about a cup, (my fav is a mango, pineapple, strawberry and papaya mix from Costco) and mix with a scoop of vanilla Protein powder. I use a stick/immersion blender and spin it up using no or as little added liquid as possible. I have to chop the bigger pieces of fruit with a knife beforehand. It comes out like a rich frozen yogurt. These are some of the higher sugar fruits so I only use this as an occasional treat, but boy is it good! Leftovers get too solid in the freezer for me so I share my batch.

@, I can relate. I've started trying to treat my panic stricken, tantrum throwing, inner child with compassion. Whenever she acts up I look for a way to sooth her the way I wish someone had done when I was that child.

I usually fix us a cup of Decaf coffee and meditate on whats really bothering her. Sometimes she's afraid of not having enough, or not being good enough and sometimes she is afraid or anxious. I sit with the feeling so its like I'm listening to her and paying attention to what she is projecting. Normally I would placate her with french fries. Once I figure out what she really needs I can address it. For example, if she needs to relax we do yoga, if she needs comfort we bubble bath, if she feels lonely we call mom ect. It may sound crazy but its an easy way to learn to address your residual hang ups.

When a coworker asks, "what's up with your pants?" because your slacks are falling off you...