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Because when people know about it, my weight becomes the sole focus. Every time we meet, "how much weight have you lost?", "you look great!", "have you heard about the new tapeworm diet??". Im a very private person, and with telling people I feel like I'm under a microscope that's focused solely on the size of my ass. My weight is the least interesting thing about me and I find the topic both boring and uncomfortable. I'm not at all ashamed of the surgery, but I went through it so that my weight would no longer be an issue. If I tell people, it becomes THE issue.

People can be mean, intentionally & unintentionally. I told no one. My health is my business. I didn't want to worry family & friends. I didn't want coworkers and others in my life gossiping about me anymore than what they probably already do! I don't look at it as 'hiding' it ...it is my choice not to tell just the same as someone has the choice to tell... everybody is different about it. I think we need to be respectful of everyone's choices on such matters. It is their journey, you know what I mean.

I didn't tell a lot of people until just recently. (I'm 8 months out and a few lbs from goal *YAY ME*) I even went to the first few appts without even sharing it with my spouse. I wanted the decision to be mine and didnt want others opinions to influence me. After. I felt a little embarrassed. I'm more comfortable with it now and feel so proud.

Yup. I had enough of this with WWs, South Beach, etc. People don't know enough about VSG and I would rather be the center of attention when I go out to eat because of my charm, good look and personality than because I had most of my stomach removed and everyone wants to know the nitty gritty.

Patty Gee, I am so sorry for your loss--knowing that context is very meaningful though. It would make sense that you would want some privacy about your weight loss after feeling like you had a magnifying glass on your personal life from well-meaning people. Wishing you all the best.

Patty Gee, I am so sorry for your loss--knowing that context is very meaningful though. It would make sense that you would want some privacy about your weight loss after feeling like you had a magnifying glass on your personal life from well-meaning people. Wishing you all the best.

My RD recommends that people make their own pizza using the lite Flat-Out flat bread, which is low in carbs, high in Fiber, and has a good amount of Protein. I believe she crisps up the flat "bread" in the over first and then adds a little Tomato sauce, cheese and protein. It's not something that necessarily appeals to me but it's a good substitute if you really have a hankering for pizza--and you could work it into a low-carb/high protein way of eating. I think you could probably eat about 1/3 to 1/2 of those at your stage post op but it depends on the person. One strict rule my surgeon has is that once you are on solids (after 6 weeks), you can eat for 15 to 20 minutes and that's it. Anything you didn't finish in your meal gets put away or tossed. Sometimes when people say they are eating something like half a sub or a piece of pizza it's because they nibbled away at it for 45 minutes or an hour. That goes beyond a meal and qualifies as grazing. It's also important not to drink with or right after your meals or food will get washed down your stomach and you will feel hungrier sooner.

Every plan is different...
I'm almost 10 weeks post-op. I shoot for 800-1000 cals a day. I NEVER get past about 850 for some reason...oh yeah my little tummy.
But I'm working on getting more cals a day since I'm beefing up my workouts.

I do the Mosley 5:2 fast (intermittent fasting to keep your metabolism going). On the two "fast" days each week, I eat apx 500 calories. On other days, I try to stick to 1,000 or fewer. This is where I feel best and seem to lose weight the best. Others do better with calories slightly higher. I am hypothyroid secondary to pituitary issues so that may be why my calories need to be lower--my body is very metabolically efficient.

I only have one toxic quasi-family relationship, and the way I deal with it is I pretty much restrict my communication with this person to written letters. Older people especially love to receive written letters. I can write this person and tell her all about what is going on in my life, what I think about current affairs, etc. etc. and never have to have the "conversation" steered back to something hurtful. When I get a letter back (not all that often) I can read it then, read it later, or just chuck it, depending on how I am feeling. And I find that people who don't hesitate to be hurtful when speaking with you verbally (or even via email) are a lot nicer when putting an actual pen to actual paper.
This way I don't feel bad about cutting someone out of my life, but I manage our interaction a lot more. And I keep my own negative feelings/hurt out of my correspondence entirely -- I make it entirely positive and upbeat, try to write down my memories of our good times together, etc., to encourage a similar response.

See if someone else you know (not in the wedding party) can bring your shake with you. The thing I find really funny is that for many of us we spent so long dieting that we forget to use that as an excuse.
When I traveled while I was on my 2 week pre-op diet, I just told people, I couldn't eat certain things because I was on a diet. That was the truth and since people knew I was having surgery, they didn't think anything of it.
Not sure if you've ever been on a diet and told anyone...but if you have, just say that and sip away. Plus, most people I know (even thin ones) tend to diet around the time they are in a wedding. I doubt anyone thinks twice.

Thanks!! My diet is a 10 day liver reduction diet, Protein Shakes for Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, only liquids in between.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. It is a good idea to be logging your food intake through this process because things do add up quickly...if you aren't already logging. I personally like myfitnesspal.
I am 7 months post op and my day varies quite a bit. There are days that I barely manage to get 800 calories and I feel overly full and other days that I've eaten 1300 calories and I am still hungry. As a female, my time of month affects it. Other factors that affect my calories/fullness/hungry-ness is how much cardio I have done in the day, time of day I wake up and go to bed, what types of food I have been eating (Protein vs. carbs etc.).
I wouldn't let it scare you just yet. Log your food and watch how hungry you are for about two weeks. If you are still scared, then there are lots of people on here that would love to help you because they have gone through the same thing.

I know for me it depends on the day. Some days, I am hungry and I eat all day. I can get down quite a bit, especially if I really chew up my food! No matter what, I've learned that in the end it is still up to you. You will have to push that plate away, you will have to say no to certain things. The surgery helps with that, but like they say, "its a tool" they gave us a smaller stomach but it's still in the same person. Just keep on going, and hey! you did great...you made yourself avoid eating another thing. That's control! Kudos!

For the last couple f days I have been eating a bit more two...but guess what! I lost 5 pounds in those two days! Since I had only lost 14 since PAT I felt my body finally felt satisfied and was able to release fat! Lol

congrats on getting an earlier surgery date! What is your concern over the dinner and wedding--what you will eat? Are you on a special pre-op diet? I find at things like this, no one really pays attention to what others are doing. I'm sure that you can finesse it and stay true to your plan. Just get out on the dance floor. Plus it will be nice to have the wedding to keep you busy while you are anticipating the surgery. Enjoy!!

congrats on getting an earlier surgery date! What is your concern over the dinner and wedding--what you will eat? Are you on a special pre-op diet? I find at things like this, no one really pays attention to what others are doing. I'm sure that you can finesse it and stay true to your plan. Just get out on the dance floor. Plus it will be nice to have the wedding to keep you busy while you are anticipating the surgery. Enjoy!!

These two sentences are the bottom line. Your Mom (may be worried) but she is not willing to do this to help her own health. She may resent that you are braver/more determined/etc than she is. You having the surgery may sink her ship in terms of excuses or fear. She may secretly wonder if you can do it, why can't she pull the trigger and do it?
Also, some people are just plain critical. If she critizes everything you do...why on earth would this be different? Think long and hard about keeping her clued into what you're doing. If she is just going to cause drama and headache, let your hubby be your support system.
The last thing you'll need post-op when you're trying to heal is your Mom driving you insane. Keeping up with all the to-dos post-op will do that enough. Best wishes to you!!

I would let her know that fewer than 5% of people who lose weight thru lifestyle changes alone are able to keep the weight off. The rate of loss and maintenance is exponentially higher for people who have surgery. It's a tool...you still have to work--but it definitely adds to the likelihood that you will succeed.

This sums up my life. I have never had issues or shame about my weight even at 375 lbs. I also have been really fortunate and blessed to have excellent family, friends, etc.
I've found so much support by telling people, but I do know that may be uncommon. Literally every day someone (work and personal life) walks up and compliments me on the fact that I was "so brave/lucky/etc" to have gone through with the surgery.
I've also become the sleeve expert because I'm "the only" person many people know who had the sleeve instead of the band/RnY. This journey (dealing with people) has been amazing and encouraging.
I really wish I too could share my support system with others that don't have it. It is what helps me get through the tough days when my sleeve decides it hates everything I try to eat.

Oh they would so get a none of your business from me. No one once asked me anything like that. How dare they police you???
On the other hand I think sometimes people are just curious and it comes across so very rude.

This makes me soooo mad. I'm so sorry you're going through this. What they are doing to you is not right and doesn't help you. I would simply tell them the discussion is over and off limits. PERIOD.
I hope things get better and some other scandal happens so you don't have to deal with this drama.

I've kept my surgery a secret except for a few people. It's my business and my choice to tell. My medical history is no one business. I had a cousin who had a breast reduction because they were large, and one was much bigger and saggier then the other but she didn't make it public knowledge that she was having a surgery to fix them. Why should we have to tell the world about our medical conditions?

I have only told a select few. It has nothing to do with me being ashamed, not having a good family/support system, or failing. It has all to do with me not being an open book. I have a small circle of close friends, large group of friends and family members.... I've learned a long time ago, only certain friends and family can handle every situation you might be going through in your life. I might share after I have surgery, but for now I don't need any negativity or opinions....my spirit needs to be clear of any drama!

When my sister had her surgery years ago, I was excited for her, overwhelmed with the speed of weight loss, and would constantly ask "how much did you lose this week?" I'm sure it was a pain in the rump, but she never complained, and everyone and their brother would ask her nonstop about her weightloss and question what she put on her plate.
Four years ago my only child died.....and well meaning people concentrated on it..... 2 and 3 years later people still focused on it....and it was so hard to heal and continue on........I do not want people to focus on me, how much weight I lose, nor what I'm eating......it's no one's business.....and where I work, I'd get nothing done......so my hubby and above mentioned sister know, and that's it.