OMG! I think we might just be sisters!
I am nearly 40 years old, married with 4 kids. My mother also disagrees (that's putting it verrrrry mildly) with my decision to have surgery. While I've told my mom I want VSG, I won't be telling her when (16 days) or where (Mexico). First, she'd get some lashes in with that sharp tongue she has about the surgery, but if she knew where I was going for it, she might disown me...hmmmm, not a bad thought!
My mother constantly tells me about how my cousin and her mother had gastric bypass years ago and all of the issues my cousin has had since. My mother is a very negative person, she sees her glass as half full. She tells me that she's so worried about how things will be for me after the surgery and what if this or that happens. What if nothing happens? What if, after the surgery, I take proper care of myself and loose weight and find peace? What if I don't have surgery? Should I just stay miserable because I can't drop the weight? My husband recently lost 30 lbs after he was diagnosed as diabetic. It was like the weight just melted off of him. She asks me why I can't just do what he's doing. Uhhhhhmmmm, I probably eat healthier than he does but because I have ZERO metabolism I can work out like a maniac and lose maybe 4 lbs in 2 months.
Ugh! I understand your frustration with this issue. Trust me, you're not alone. I wish I could give you advice, but as a daughter of a mother like yours, I know what you're going thru!