vinesqueen

Pilaties is great stuff! Absoultely great. I love my ball, and not because it's too silly either.

what a great topic! I think for me, part of the key is that I do not believe we are the same person. I think that for many people, the journey will change them. I know that for many, losing weight brings on a new set of confidence and self apreication. I think people are attracted to confident people. I did not want to start dating my husband. I didn't want to fall in love with him, and I faught it tooth and nail. (silly me) It was hard for me to face how shallow I was for not wanting to date a man who weighed more than 400 pounds. I just did not want to go there.

I don't know Susannah, I don't see how lifting up one group of oppressed people can diminish another set. I think accepting yourself is the best think you can do for yourself. My mother has been MO all my life. And I watched her struggle with her weight, and not only did her weight affect her activities, but it affected the lives of all her kids. I'm pretty sure of that, it affected the girls anyway... it sure affected me... I watched her forever "when I lose X pounds" or "when I am size Y I will do..." It was so hard to watch her wait her whole life for something that would never happen. She used to go dancing before she married my dad, but then she stopped and didn't want to go back until she lost weight. When I was 18, it was pretty clean that I was going to be heavy. (I was Cushing's even then) But I decided that I was never going to let my size hold me back, I was not going to put restriction on myself based on my size or weight. EVER. I'm a fat belly dancer, but I dance, and I don't care because I love to dance. I don't care if it isn't "approprate" because who is to tell me what is? And as we have learned this last year, there are those of us who really have no control over their size or weight. No amount of anything, until I am cured, is going to help me lose weight or size. And I am not alone in this either. For some of us, there is no connection between eating behaviour, excersize and size. For some of us, it is a tumor.

May the cities in your wake burn like candles on your cake! Happy birthday!

I think they took away my license... I suck.. :party:

this is a difficult time, no doubt about it. But this is absolutely a normal phase. Once you start looking at how you deal with food, as well as how you don't deal with food, do no be surpirsed that new issues crop up. There is no question that humans use food and a focal point for entertaining and socializing. We need food after all to survive. And currently there is a big push to "get back to the dinner table" to further socialize our families. Please dont' put off the dancing, or the socializeing. Right now it might be hard to go to the restaurant, but perhaps your mom will compromise by going to a park? I don't even know if that's possible where you live, but this is NOT a permanent restricion. After being banded for a while, you won't even notice going back to restaurants. You will "normalize"... honest!

yup, except for the first while after banding, and healing, you might have some trouble drinking large quiantieis of Fluid. Oh and Sherrijo!!!! yikes! Drink more water!! (((hugs)))

that is FANTASTIC! I'm so happy for you!

Every year I make the same resolution: to find more balance in my life. Nice and vague... I figure that it is something that I will always want to strive to achieve. Some concrete goals? I will return to school and exile in the Fall. I will get my craft room re-organize and re-decorated so that it is also a usable guest room.

I am sitting here, a scant two years after finding LBT, looking back at my somewhat amazing journey with my life. I must admit, this is not where I ever thought I would end up, but once we start on a journey, do we ever really end up at the indented destination? I think we sort of tack in the direction of the wind, we see our sails fill, but we have no real control over those winds. I was absolutely convinced that by this time I would be a beautiful size 12, out concouring the world. I thought I would have a stunning wardrobe, and boundless enery, and a stunning collection of shoes... I thought I would be making a difference through my chosen profession, and off having many interesting adventures. I thought I would have learned so many new things that I be able to change how I saw the world. Hmmm, I guess all that I have achieved are some intersting adventures, but I suppose that is all we can hope for, right. Well, the things I have learned, well, those have been things I never ever thought I would learn. I have learned so much about my body, that I now joke that I believe I'm entitled to an honorary medical degree. But I've also learned so much about the real reasons I have done things, and for that I'm ever so thankful. I have gained an understanding of eating disorders, and an apprication of what people who truely have eating disorders have to deal with. I'm just thankful that my obsession with food, while tiresome for others to read about, was relitively shortlived, lasting only months, as opposed to the years that other poeple must deal with that ordeal. I used to think that the reasons I was fat had to do with my lifestyle, or to some extent trying to protect myself from hurts from my childhood, but I have learned that I neve had a chance to be thin. Not with Cushing's. I wanted to thank Mr. Alex for the wonderful forum, and I want to thank all of you who've been so supportive of me through my current jouney. Some of you I will never meet in meat-space, some I have, but I count you all friends. I have learned so much from all of you, some times from questions that never occured to me to ask, some from questions that were repeatedly asked. I've been absent LBT for some time, but I have been very active on my Cushing's board. I come and lurk here, but lately I haven't felt very well physically. It's easier to just check in, knowing that all y'all are still here, still working your programs, still waking your journeys. I started this banded journey wanting more to gain my health. My asthma was so out of control just before I was banded, I didn't know if I was going to survive. I think that is the best thing about being banded, my asthma, still with the Cushing's, is all but gone. I cannot explain this, but why should that one thing be expalined? Just one more wacky thing about me, I guess. My wanting to regain my health was the impetis for getting banded, not so much losing weight, although I desperately want to lose weight. And here I sit, I know that by many standards I'm a band failure. I know that sitting here, within 5 pound of my pre-band weight, that consititues a failure. But it should come as no surpise that I refuse to be labled a failure. Not now, and not by any external force. Heck, I have learned to not even let my mother define me as a failure any more, so hurray for me! I knw that there are many new bandsters here that do no know my story, so here's a quick recap. The Band lead me through an amazing journey. I initally had some success, but then it all stopped. No matter what I did, I could not lose weight. Not at any restriction level. No sweet spot for me. No matter how much time I spent at the gym, no matter how many hours I spent dancing, or walking or horseback-riding, I could not get the weight to budge. I spent a terrible month too restricted, where my food intake was limited to one ore two tablespoons of food at the most. As still, no weight loss. I spent a month as sub-700 calories, and managed to lose 1.5 pound in a month. So I started demanding answers. On another board I was subjected to ridicule, called a lier and worse. I pushed and pushed and pushed. And I certianly never thought that pushing for answers would have landed me back within pounds of where I started. But right now, those pounds are irrelivent. Throught my pushing and demanding answers, I disovered that I have a rare disease caused by a brain tumor--I have Cushing's syndrom. As it turns out, looking at my medical history, I've had Cushing's my entire adult life, and most likely, I had it as a child as well. So, I never had a chance to be thin, or "normal" sized. I have discovered a new supportive communty in my Cushing's board, and I am so thankful to have them, thankful that I found them, because they saved my life. For whatever reason, I am not able to do things in a small way. I'm sort of a full-boar sort of woman. (or is that full-bore?) And my health is no exception. I learned this year that doctors have no clue when it comes to rare diseases. I've learned to fire them when it is clear that they have no idea, and I've also learned that I'm smarter than many, if for no other reason, because I refuse to give up. I knew something was wrong, and I pushed and pushed and pushed. I know tat we have many turtles, and I know that many of my tribe have drifted away, discouraged and diheartened. I wish I could gather all my tribe up, and help them fight. I wish I could give them the energy that they need to find the cause for their slow loss. I am so thankful that I had the Band, and "failed" with it, rather than having one of the by-pass procedures. I know that many people have had great success with revisions, but with my disease, I still would have failed even with the the malabsorptive techniques. I want to tell you all how proud of you I am for your journey, and to thank you for letting me be some small part of your jouney. It has been wonderful, if not more than a little frustrating, to watch every Rabbit sprint to victory. It's been great to watch my Turtles who needed longer to reach that same mark, never giving up, even as they wanted to. I just wanted to thank you all, and to let you know that I'm still here, if anyone cares. I also wanted to let you know that I will have my Cushing's cure this year. It isn't an easy cure, but that dammed brain tumor will no longer hold me hostage. Once more, I start a new journey. Only this time, I'm not exactly sure where my footsteps will take me. This time, my expectations are more open to the possibility of the universe.

Hello Malice, I guess we need more information about when and how your side hurts. I don't kow when you were banded, but this is just my first take at the issue. Your port is most likely stiched to the muscles on your side. When you do certian activies, it is causing that port and those muscles to work. I sort of think that there is extra work that happens, simply because there are a few extra grams of weight on that side. Until you build up your ab muscles, I think this is going to be something that you notice. Before I was banded I made sure that I was doing lots of Pilaties, crunches and the like. I think that it really helped with my recovery after my band surgery, since I already had good strong abs. It's also possible, in the early stages, that you just have to be more gentle with yourself on that side.

happy belated BD Carlene! Hippo birdies, two ewes!

that is beyond bizare that they would want to place it open. It's called LAP band for a reason. Get thee to a different doctor and clinic!

pooh, the link leads to a dead link

Congrats on the NSV! I hope you are tracking all of them in one place, but we know that's my song and dance It is such a difficult place to be in, wanting to help another find a way out of the misery we know they are suffereing, contrasting with not wanting to add to their misery. Part of me wants to tell everyone about the band, and yet the rational part of me knows that this isn't such a good idea. Thanks for the compassion!

I think that those who are successful long term have internalized the process. That the Band is not just another diet, but a whole lifestyle change. I truly think that is the number one ideal for this to work (baring something seriously wrong, like I have). Changing the way we look at not only food, but activity is the key. Learning to be kind to ourselves is also important.

The ones I mostly run into are questions about removing it once at goal. Then again, I also have people ask me if I'm going to have mine removed since it didn't work for me, usually very angry people. This of course, leads to converstaions about Cushing's, and how while I probably won't need the band once I am cured, there is always the possiblity that I will indeed need it once I'm cured. Oh, and that they also think I cannot eat "normal" food. I hadn't heard the concerns that the think the port actually sticks out like a PICC line or something similar. I wonder when that rumor started...

Congrats and welcome back! So nice to see one of the old-timers returning! Hurray!

right, it sounds like you are still too tight.

Oh honey! (((hugs))) you must eat. MUST EAT. If the doctors don't understand the panic inn your head, make them understand. Go back and re-read what Wheetsin said. Then read it again. (((hugs))) Real acceptance has nothing to do with the outside. NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OUTSIDE. I faught tooth and nail to not fall in love with my husband. I didn't want to fall in love with a man who weighed more than 400 pounds. I loved him when he weighed over 600 pounds too. That was very difficult, but I loved him then too. He's back to around 400 pounds, and still needs to hit the gym. I got over it. I love him, and he's the one for me. It's not about the outside.

((((hugs)))) it's just a minor setback, you at least know that your band will work once you get it filled. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. So Very sorry.

It might help if you try to get out of the "diet" mentality. The band isn't a "diet" in the usual sense of the word. I think that word specifically has connotations that it isn't permanent, that it's about deprivation and putting food into "good" and "bad" catagories. I think the people that have the greatest success with their band long-term view this as a lifestyle change as opposed to a diet. You can't cheat on your lifestyle, you simply make other choices. I hope that helps! Strength and Courge!

Yeah! You are shopping too much at Trader Joes! Congrats and continued success in your jouney!

Truly an inspriation Michelle! what a wild year it's been!

Well, I think having Hollywood is a good thing if you enjoy popular culture, like movies and tv and People Magazine and stuff like that.