princesstia

I lost my uncle today. He had been battling cancer and though we knew he was terminal you can never fully prepare yourself. It started me thinking about my own mortality. I am about to willingly endure a major operation with risks - no matter how slim they are there are still risks.
 
A friend, who is part of my group of people that I have told about this operation, called me yesterday. It had been a while since we last talked and she asked me if I was still going through with "it" (giving the surgery a similar intonation we usually only reserve for the word cancer). Today after hearing about my uncle I thought of the question again. I also wondered if my uncle had any major regrets. I mean I am sure we all have regrets when this situation happens but I mean a big regret...one maybe influenced by others comments. I wanted to call my girlfriend back and reaffirm my YES bigger and louder than before.
 
I wasn't really close to my uncle but his passing today allowed me to put to rest in my mind the one last doubt about the surgery. Rest in peace Uncle P and thank you for the assistance to eliminate regrets!
 
No regrets!

Just put some masking tape over the number part of the scale. On the tape write down your goal weight. Now EVERY time you step on you will ONLY see your goal weight and are forced to either wait until you see the Dr. or bend over and remove the tape (which you KNOW will be wrong)

Well unfortunately I'm writing today's blog with such an attitude. At 4 weeks out, I still can't even keep liquids down comfortably. I hate it! I was so stressed out and tired last night that I just got on my knees and prayed. I'm tired of crying, tired of the thirst (not hunger, but thirst!)... I'm sure when I get to my post op appointment I will be put on an IV for dehydration because I've taken in less than 20oz each day over the last week. I feel so unhealthy and can't even complain because I elected this. I'm sure this is PMS or one of those emotional stages we all go through.. But I definitely don't like it! On the other hand, I'm down 30 pounds. Here are my stats:
 
HW: 256
SW: 247
Day I left surgery: 258
CW: 226
 
Not too bad considering all of my clothes are sagging but my body feels really jiggly so I know I have to get in the gym and do sme weight lifting but I vowed to not do anything until I can keep down a set number of calories... Keep me in your prayers for I know better days are just ahead!!!

This has been one hell of a ride. I've been both excited and depressed just the same. I am here to tell you weeks 2 and 3 are literally the hardest. At this point your tired of liquids, see a few stalls, and have all these thoughts that maybe, just maybe, this surgery isn't gonna work for you. And I'm telling you, I have felt all these things. On the plus side I did weigh in this morning and hit my one month post op goal 10days early!!! Yay for me!... Here are my stats:
 
Starting weight: 256lbs
Day of Surgery: 247lbs
Day I left from Hospital: 258lbs
3 weeks post op: 230.2lbs
 

I honestly didn't plan on seeing that weight until one month post op.. But 26 pounds down in the first 3 weeks with a stall in between.. I won't complain. Hope everyone is doing well as they recover, and for those considering the surgery: do your research! Know what to expect, and come to a point in your journey where you are ready for the rollercoaster because it is one hell of a ride!!!!!
 
 
Tia

Excited but a little exhausted at the same time!!! Had surgery on December 20th and the first week was smooth sailing. Wasnt until about 12 days post op did I realize I had not had a bowel movement. I was in an all out panic and my surgeon was too. He ended up having me take some Miralax and Colace and this morning had my firt BM since surgery.. Glad that's over with! Stepped on the scale last night and was 235.6lbs!! Not much of a loss like in the first week, but I'll take every single pound.
 
Starting Weight: 256
Day of Surgery: 247
Day Left Surgery: 258
1 Week Post Op: 241
2 Weeks Post Op: 235
total loss thus far: 21 pounds
 
Not bad. Won't complain. But I think in this week I will begin taking my vitamins (and boy there are a lot!) and doing some cardio at the gym. So blessed to have gone through this process with little to no complications and even more blessed that I am on my way to a healthy new me! Happy losing all!

This has been one hell of a ride. I've been both excited and depressed just the same. I am here to tell you weeks 2 and 3 are literally the hardest. At this point your tired of liquids, see a few stalls, and have all these thoughts that maybe, just maybe, this surgery isn't gonna work for you. And I'm telling you, I have felt all these things. On the plus side I did weigh in this morning and hit my one month post op goal 10days early!!! Yay for me!... Here are my stats:
 
Starting weight: 256lbs
Day of Surgery: 247lbs
Day I left from Hospital: 258lbs
3 weeks post op: 230.2lbs
 

I honestly didn't plan on seeing that weight until one month post op.. But 26 pounds down in the first 3 weeks with a stall in between.. I won't complain. Hope everyone is doing well as they recover, and for those considering the surgery: do your research! Know what to expect, and come to a point in your journey where you are ready for the rollercoaster because it is one hell of a ride!!!!!
 
 
Tia

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

With less than 24 hours away from the big surgery, I find myself enthralled in all sorts of emotions. One moment I'm excited. The next I'm a little worried. The next I'm axious to get this over with.. And the next I'm flat out afraid. I've been up since 3am this morning. I just can't sleep.My mind is moving just too fast. I've been going back and forth to some major events in my life and trying to figure out what led me here.. Then 2 events pop in mind..
 
One when I was about 19 and was having an argument with one of my ex boyfriend's friends. He made a pass at me and I told my boyfriend at the time who addressed him about it. He was so upset with me he yelled "that's why your're a cheeseburger away from obese". I was soooo offended, like could he really have said that to me.. But then again, he was right. I had no come back.
 
Then lastly I remember having an argument with an ex friend of mine at about 21 and boy was it a bad one. Not wanting to be defeated like I had in the previous argument, I was guns loaded. In a tit for tat I blurted out "that's why your ugly and you look like a gorilla". Not one of my proudest moments I'll admit. Very childish.. She responds "that's why your fat". Ouch! Another dagger to the heart about my weight. I replied "well I can fix my problem. But you sure can't fix ugly. All the surgery in the world won't help that face!"... Feeling like I had won that argument, my ego said otherwise and I was deeply saddened.
 
What these two events made me realize is that the person I saw, was what the rest of the world was beginning to see. Someone who was moving fast towards a serious weight problem. My grandmother passed away on December 26, 2003 in her sleep for no apparent reason. She cooked Christmas dinner, played games with us all.. then never woke back up. The doctor's ruled it as congestive heart failure because it was the last pre-existing condition she had. But what I failed to mention was that she was just over 500 pounds and battled with sleep apnea. She use to snore really bad. When I would spend the night with her, the only way I knew she was breathing was when I heard that snoring.. But sometimes there would be long pauses in those snores and she'd begin gasping for breath. The morning of her death I arose to greet her good morning and while combing my hair in her vanity right next to her bed... I noticed, she hadn't been snoring. Then I looked at her arm and it was just hanging off the bed. I knew she had stopped breathing. I honestly believe she suffocated in her sleep and had she been 200-300 pounds lighter, I'd still have her to this very day. She died at only 52.
 
Obesity is a genetic disadvantage in my family and I finally have an opportunity to overcome that. To live life the way it's supposed to be lived. This is something I can't pass on doing. I've prayed to God without ceasing about what I can do to get this weight off and in I stumble across a procedure I didn't even know existed. Literally walked in the clinic to inquire about a lap band and will be walking out tomorrow with a sleeve. God carved a perfectly laid path for me tomorrow. I had no hickups along the way, and have paid nothing out of pocket. Because I have really good health insurance, whatever they cover is all my surgeon says he will be receiving. It can't get any better than that. Aside for paying co pay on my perscriptions, I consider this a free procedure to help me get my life back. This is a gift from God! I am a living witness that if you remain in him and his words remain in you, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be given unto you (John 15:7). I didn't know how he was gonna do it I just had faith and he did it! I cry as I write this moment because I will never see life through the same set of eyes again. My limits to a happy fulfilled life have just become endless. These are my tears... OF JOY!

This has been one hell of a ride. I've been both excited and depressed just the same. I am here to tell you weeks 2 and 3 are literally the hardest. At this point your tired of liquids, see a few stalls, and have all these thoughts that maybe, just maybe, this surgery isn't gonna work for you. And I'm telling you, I have felt all these things. On the plus side I did weigh in this morning and hit my one month post op goal 10days early!!! Yay for me!... Here are my stats:
 
Starting weight: 256lbs
Day of Surgery: 247lbs
Day I left from Hospital: 258lbs
3 weeks post op: 230.2lbs
 

I honestly didn't plan on seeing that weight until one month post op.. But 26 pounds down in the first 3 weeks with a stall in between.. I won't complain. Hope everyone is doing well as they recover, and for those considering the surgery: do your research! Know what to expect, and come to a point in your journey where you are ready for the rollercoaster because it is one hell of a ride!!!!!
 
 
Tia

Excited but a little exhausted at the same time!!! Had surgery on December 20th and the first week was smooth sailing. Wasnt until about 12 days post op did I realize I had not had a bowel movement. I was in an all out panic and my surgeon was too. He ended up having me take some Miralax and Colace and this morning had my firt BM since surgery.. Glad that's over with! Stepped on the scale last night and was 235.6lbs!! Not much of a loss like in the first week, but I'll take every single pound.
 
Starting Weight: 256
Day of Surgery: 247
Day Left Surgery: 258
1 Week Post Op: 241
2 Weeks Post Op: 235
total loss thus far: 21 pounds
 
Not bad. Won't complain. But I think in this week I will begin taking my vitamins (and boy there are a lot!) and doing some cardio at the gym. So blessed to have gone through this process with little to no complications and even more blessed that I am on my way to a healthy new me! Happy losing all!

Excited but a little exhausted at the same time!!! Had surgery on December 20th and the first week was smooth sailing. Wasnt until about 12 days post op did I realize I had not had a bowel movement. I was in an all out panic and my surgeon was too. He ended up having me take some Miralax and Colace and this morning had my firt BM since surgery.. Glad that's over with! Stepped on the scale last night and was 235.6lbs!! Not much of a loss like in the first week, but I'll take every single pound.
 
Starting Weight: 256
Day of Surgery: 247
Day Left Surgery: 258
1 Week Post Op: 241
2 Weeks Post Op: 235
total loss thus far: 21 pounds
 
Not bad. Won't complain. But I think in this week I will begin taking my vitamins (and boy there are a lot!) and doing some cardio at the gym. So blessed to have gone through this process with little to no complications and even more blessed that I am on my way to a healthy new me! Happy losing all!

Excited but a little exhausted at the same time!!! Had surgery on December 20th and the first week was smooth sailing. Wasnt until about 12 days post op did I realize I had not had a bowel movement. I was in an all out panic and my surgeon was too. He ended up having me take some Miralax and Colace and this morning had my firt BM since surgery.. Glad that's over with! Stepped on the scale last night and was 235.6lbs!! Not much of a loss like in the first week, but I'll take every single pound.
 
Starting Weight: 256
Day of Surgery: 247
Day Left Surgery: 258
1 Week Post Op: 241
2 Weeks Post Op: 235
total loss thus far: 21 pounds
 
Not bad. Won't complain. But I think in this week I will begin taking my vitamins (and boy there are a lot!) and doing some cardio at the gym. So blessed to have gone through this process with little to no complications and even more blessed that I am on my way to a healthy new me! Happy losing all!

Excited but a little exhausted at the same time!!! Had surgery on December 20th and the first week was smooth sailing. Wasnt until about 12 days post op did I realize I had not had a bowel movement. I was in an all out panic and my surgeon was too. He ended up having me take some Miralax and Colace and this morning had my firt BM since surgery.. Glad that's over with! Stepped on the scale last night and was 235.6lbs!! Not much of a loss like in the first week, but I'll take every single pound.
 
Starting Weight: 256
Day of Surgery: 247
Day Left Surgery: 258
1 Week Post Op: 241
2 Weeks Post Op: 235
total loss thus far: 21 pounds
 
Not bad. Won't complain. But I think in this week I will begin taking my vitamins (and boy there are a lot!) and doing some cardio at the gym. So blessed to have gone through this process with little to no complications and even more blessed that I am on my way to a healthy new me! Happy losing all!

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

With less than 24 hours away from the big surgery, I find myself enthralled in all sorts of emotions. One moment I'm excited. The next I'm a little worried. The next I'm axious to get this over with.. And the next I'm flat out afraid. I've been up since 3am this morning. I just can't sleep.My mind is moving just too fast. I've been going back and forth to some major events in my life and trying to figure out what led me here.. Then 2 events pop in mind..
 
One when I was about 19 and was having an argument with one of my ex boyfriend's friends. He made a pass at me and I told my boyfriend at the time who addressed him about it. He was so upset with me he yelled "that's why your're a cheeseburger away from obese". I was soooo offended, like could he really have said that to me.. But then again, he was right. I had no come back.
 
Then lastly I remember having an argument with an ex friend of mine at about 21 and boy was it a bad one. Not wanting to be defeated like I had in the previous argument, I was guns loaded. In a tit for tat I blurted out "that's why your ugly and you look like a gorilla". Not one of my proudest moments I'll admit. Very childish.. She responds "that's why your fat". Ouch! Another dagger to the heart about my weight. I replied "well I can fix my problem. But you sure can't fix ugly. All the surgery in the world won't help that face!"... Feeling like I had won that argument, my ego said otherwise and I was deeply saddened.
 
What these two events made me realize is that the person I saw, was what the rest of the world was beginning to see. Someone who was moving fast towards a serious weight problem. My grandmother passed away on December 26, 2003 in her sleep for no apparent reason. She cooked Christmas dinner, played games with us all.. then never woke back up. The doctor's ruled it as congestive heart failure because it was the last pre-existing condition she had. But what I failed to mention was that she was just over 500 pounds and battled with sleep apnea. She use to snore really bad. When I would spend the night with her, the only way I knew she was breathing was when I heard that snoring.. But sometimes there would be long pauses in those snores and she'd begin gasping for breath. The morning of her death I arose to greet her good morning and while combing my hair in her vanity right next to her bed... I noticed, she hadn't been snoring. Then I looked at her arm and it was just hanging off the bed. I knew she had stopped breathing. I honestly believe she suffocated in her sleep and had she been 200-300 pounds lighter, I'd still have her to this very day. She died at only 52.
 
Obesity is a genetic disadvantage in my family and I finally have an opportunity to overcome that. To live life the way it's supposed to be lived. This is something I can't pass on doing. I've prayed to God without ceasing about what I can do to get this weight off and in I stumble across a procedure I didn't even know existed. Literally walked in the clinic to inquire about a lap band and will be walking out tomorrow with a sleeve. God carved a perfectly laid path for me tomorrow. I had no hickups along the way, and have paid nothing out of pocket. Because I have really good health insurance, whatever they cover is all my surgeon says he will be receiving. It can't get any better than that. Aside for paying co pay on my perscriptions, I consider this a free procedure to help me get my life back. This is a gift from God! I am a living witness that if you remain in him and his words remain in you, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be given unto you (John 15:7). I didn't know how he was gonna do it I just had faith and he did it! I cry as I write this moment because I will never see life through the same set of eyes again. My limits to a happy fulfilled life have just become endless. These are my tears... OF JOY!

With less than 24 hours away from the big surgery, I find myself enthralled in all sorts of emotions. One moment I'm excited. The next I'm a little worried. The next I'm axious to get this over with.. And the next I'm flat out afraid. I've been up since 3am this morning. I just can't sleep.My mind is moving just too fast. I've been going back and forth to some major events in my life and trying to figure out what led me here.. Then 2 events pop in mind..
 
One when I was about 19 and was having an argument with one of my ex boyfriend's friends. He made a pass at me and I told my boyfriend at the time who addressed him about it. He was so upset with me he yelled "that's why your're a cheeseburger away from obese". I was soooo offended, like could he really have said that to me.. But then again, he was right. I had no come back.
 
Then lastly I remember having an argument with an ex friend of mine at about 21 and boy was it a bad one. Not wanting to be defeated like I had in the previous argument, I was guns loaded. In a tit for tat I blurted out "that's why your ugly and you look like a gorilla". Not one of my proudest moments I'll admit. Very childish.. She responds "that's why your fat". Ouch! Another dagger to the heart about my weight. I replied "well I can fix my problem. But you sure can't fix ugly. All the surgery in the world won't help that face!"... Feeling like I had won that argument, my ego said otherwise and I was deeply saddened.
 
What these two events made me realize is that the person I saw, was what the rest of the world was beginning to see. Someone who was moving fast towards a serious weight problem. My grandmother passed away on December 26, 2003 in her sleep for no apparent reason. She cooked Christmas dinner, played games with us all.. then never woke back up. The doctor's ruled it as congestive heart failure because it was the last pre-existing condition she had. But what I failed to mention was that she was just over 500 pounds and battled with sleep apnea. She use to snore really bad. When I would spend the night with her, the only way I knew she was breathing was when I heard that snoring.. But sometimes there would be long pauses in those snores and she'd begin gasping for breath. The morning of her death I arose to greet her good morning and while combing my hair in her vanity right next to her bed... I noticed, she hadn't been snoring. Then I looked at her arm and it was just hanging off the bed. I knew she had stopped breathing. I honestly believe she suffocated in her sleep and had she been 200-300 pounds lighter, I'd still have her to this very day. She died at only 52.
 
Obesity is a genetic disadvantage in my family and I finally have an opportunity to overcome that. To live life the way it's supposed to be lived. This is something I can't pass on doing. I've prayed to God without ceasing about what I can do to get this weight off and in I stumble across a procedure I didn't even know existed. Literally walked in the clinic to inquire about a lap band and will be walking out tomorrow with a sleeve. God carved a perfectly laid path for me tomorrow. I had no hickups along the way, and have paid nothing out of pocket. Because I have really good health insurance, whatever they cover is all my surgeon says he will be receiving. It can't get any better than that. Aside for paying co pay on my perscriptions, I consider this a free procedure to help me get my life back. This is a gift from God! I am a living witness that if you remain in him and his words remain in you, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be given unto you (John 15:7). I didn't know how he was gonna do it I just had faith and he did it! I cry as I write this moment because I will never see life through the same set of eyes again. My limits to a happy fulfilled life have just become endless. These are my tears... OF JOY!

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

So I am only 4 days away from the biggest event in my whole 24 years of living and I am freaking out. I know this is normal I know this is normal, but I am so nervous at this point. I just don't want anything to go wrong. Finals are done, vacation is set to begin this Wednesday so I shouldn't have anything pressing. Liquid diet is getting on my nerves, but hey, it's just one of those things that you gotta do. So I'm a little irritated with that but I'm doing it. I'm down about 5 pounds from my starting weight so the scales didn't let me down at all. But I'm definitely getting rid of the scale as soon as surgery hits. I will not step on that thing until my post op appointments. I just don't want to overwhelm myself with trying to eat right and watch the scale drop pound by pound. I'll be ok I'm sure. Just panic. WOOOOOOSA! I'm ready.

So I am only 4 days away from the biggest event in my whole 24 years of living and I am freaking out. I know this is normal I know this is normal, but I am so nervous at this point. I just don't want anything to go wrong. Finals are done, vacation is set to begin this Wednesday so I shouldn't have anything pressing. Liquid diet is getting on my nerves, but hey, it's just one of those things that you gotta do. So I'm a little irritated with that but I'm doing it. I'm down about 5 pounds from my starting weight so the scales didn't let me down at all. But I'm definitely getting rid of the scale as soon as surgery hits. I will not step on that thing until my post op appointments. I just don't want to overwhelm myself with trying to eat right and watch the scale drop pound by pound. I'll be ok I'm sure. Just panic. WOOOOOOSA! I'm ready.

So I am only 4 days away from the biggest event in my whole 24 years of living and I am freaking out. I know this is normal I know this is normal, but I am so nervous at this point. I just don't want anything to go wrong. Finals are done, vacation is set to begin this Wednesday so I shouldn't have anything pressing. Liquid diet is getting on my nerves, but hey, it's just one of those things that you gotta do. So I'm a little irritated with that but I'm doing it. I'm down about 5 pounds from my starting weight so the scales didn't let me down at all. But I'm definitely getting rid of the scale as soon as surgery hits. I will not step on that thing until my post op appointments. I just don't want to overwhelm myself with trying to eat right and watch the scale drop pound by pound. I'll be ok I'm sure. Just panic. WOOOOOOSA! I'm ready.

I decided to do the surgery definitely to get down to a healthy BMI.. But in my mind I have this idea of some fit person crossfit training and so on and so forth. Then reality hits, I may not get the luxury of the weight loss I'm looking for.. I'm doing tons and tons of research on bodybuilding and 5x5 stronglifts (I really want abs) but in reality, is all of that even possible? Will I have the energy needed to guide my weight loss in the muscle building direction? Stressed because I don't want to be a skinny fat person. You know, weighs only 150 pounds but has like 35% body fat.. just flubbery. SMH. See, worrying about the wrong things. I have to continue to remind myself, just one day at a time. That's all. Set small goals and do the best you can to reach them.. I hope I'm not the only person stressing about this...

I decided to do the surgery definitely to get down to a healthy BMI.. But in my mind I have this idea of some fit person crossfit training and so on and so forth. Then reality hits, I may not get the luxury of the weight loss I'm looking for.. I'm doing tons and tons of research on bodybuilding and 5x5 stronglifts (I really want abs) but in reality, is all of that even possible? Will I have the energy needed to guide my weight loss in the muscle building direction? Stressed because I don't want to be a skinny fat person. You know, weighs only 150 pounds but has like 35% body fat.. just flubbery. SMH. See, worrying about the wrong things. I have to continue to remind myself, just one day at a time. That's all. Set small goals and do the best you can to reach them.. I hope I'm not the only person stressing about this...

The closer the day gets, the more anxious I become. 10 days and I will be On my way to a new life. I keep a diary of all my letters to god. Every prayer, every thanks, or when I want to express myself to the man above I simply write it down. Well, as the year is coming to an end I decided to look through my last letters to God and I truly believe this operation is heaven sent. I never realized the pain all this weight was causing me. On a mental level! Of all my prayers, 85% of them were about my weight and me almost complaining to god that he has not answered me. His word says "if you remain in me and my words in you, ask whatever you wish and it shall be given unto you". Well I asked him to help me lose weight. Literally with those words. I didn't know how I was gonna do it, but I trusted god, and though some critics may call it the easy way out, for some of us it was the only way out. Some may not be spiritual, but very surely I tell you, there is a god! Ive prayed and saw my prayers answered time and time again. I've been able to accomplish and do things I could not have done in my own strength and will. I no longer worry about what will happen 10 days from today because as long as I know the man above is the force behind it, nothing can possibly go wrong.
 
My praises will never cease! On my way to a new me!!!!