Tesla1979

Yes I've had soda. It didn't cause any problems but it did make me feel very full for hours. It was like the bubbles just sat in there the rest of the day. Some people tolerate it very well though. My suggestion would be to just have a couple sips here and there, for no other reason than to avoid the full feeling that may keep you from eating real food.< /p>
Oh - and good for you having the very nerve to ask a question that our die-hard forum members will consider a "rule breaking" behavior:) Get ready for all the preaching that will most likely follow your question. Just go ahead and read it all while having a taste of your favorite carbonated beverage.

I don't see myself as having a tool so please don't say tool I have had 75 % of my stomach taken away no one can tell me they do t get cravings for things they had befor the surgery

This is pretty complex, but I will throw my two cents in.
All things aside, we have to take care of ourselves, and we have to maintain our individuality, even in marriage. You cannot force her to be on board. She might be scared, have feeling about "the easy way out", have financial concerns, or she might not "get" why someone would want this because you said she does not have a weight problem.
I want to let you know though, something you said set up a red flag for me. You said she is the cook, you make deals but she wont plan. This may or may not be the case but it sounds as though you are shoving off your responsibility for what you eat onto her, and if she doesn't pick up the slack then its not your fault you are not eating right. We all have to be prepared to fend for ourselves. I can tell you that meal planning is NO small task, its work intensive and expecting someone to cook for you daily is asking a lot more than you probably realize.
I would say something to her along the lines of "Look, so far we haven't gotten very far with this conversation so this is what I want you to understand - You opinion DOES matter to me, this surgery is also very important to me, I want to have some kind of understanding here between us so I can decide how I want to move forward"
Something like that - I can't imagine a woman not responding to something worded in a similar fashion to that.
It took a while to get my husband on board with me doing this, even the day of surgery I don't really know if he was ALL in or not, but we came to an understanding and I was prepared to deal with things on my own if I really needed too. Don't try to manipulate her into agreeing that she is happy about it if she isn't.

Hi
6 weeks after I had my sleeve I found out some stuff about my past that could and previously would have made me crawl back into my own world with my best friend food as my only constant companion.My whole perception of my life as I thought I knew it was changed in one conversation.Moving to a far away place where no one knew me and pretending I was an orphan with no family seemed like a good option to me...lol.
I couldnt turn to food for comfort for the first time ever.It has been a heck of a learning curve and a looong road to take the positives in each day,let the past be the past as I couldnt change a thing about it,and deal with my feelings.Forgiveness has new meaning to me now and my life has never been better.
Accepting that I might always need a "smaller" life than others seems ok to me now.God graciously granted me a life in which I can function well.I might never be able to do "big" things but I am happier being the mom,the taxi,the comfort to my family.I am content with where I am at today.I have learnt that I dont need to make excuses for my life.I need to live with an abundance of joy every day.
I struggle with how different people treat me though.The same people that ignored me for years now want to make friends with me and I am just not there yet.I am friendly but still cannot understand this.I struggle with the attention and I am shyer than I was before.A lot quieter too.
Life is about change and I do plan to overcome more of my stuff.But I suppose it is a process.
For now,all is well with my soul!

As for the emotional side, the biggest thing I had to do was confront my baggage.
I thought that losing the weight would make me insta-happy. Surely my lack of confidence, my anger, my unhappiness were all tied up in the obesity I'd been battling since fourteen.
Once I got close to goal I really had to reevaluate that idea. Because I still wasn't happy. I wasn't overeating or using food as a crutch - I'd shaken most of those habits. But I still felt angry. I still wasn't happy. I couldn't figure out what was going on.
And then I started to really think about why I was obese in the first place. And it all led back to hurts from my upbringing and bad relationships with family members. For the first time I confronted my parents on the truly miserable and rotten job they did. I'm not exaggerating here or being melodramatic. Plenty of kids grow up thinking they could do things better or differently than their parents. But mine were truly awful. No kid should know the names of the state DCFS investigators and social workers by name and sight, but they visited our house more often than my grandparents.
I was able to really get through to my mom and it was huge. We're never going to be the absolute best of friends but we've come a really long way and are pretty close now. I had to eliminate the toxic relationships. I had not realized how much having certain people in my life was damaging me. But it was! And I was angry and resentful without really even realizing that I was the one in control - I could very easily choose to simply walk away from those relationships.
So I did. I don't speak to entire branches of my messed up family tree anymore. And that's fine. It's actually really, really liberating.
For me, a lot of what I had to shake was the anger - I had to either forgive people or forget them entirely. And I had to forgive myself and accept that I deserved to be happy despite mistakes in my own past and despite the fact that people had been tearing me down my entire life.
I am not perfect. We all carry around things from our past. I still struggle sometimes but I really feel like the bigger part of the journey (and I say this all the time) is finding out what makes us obese in the first place. Because in my case, I had a lot of issues that I was burying under food.
I'm very different now. I like the changes in myself. I'm happy and can't really remember a time in my life before this when I ever just accepted myself for who I am, faults and all.
I'm also more friendly (though it took a while to learn this) and affectionate. I don't feel shame - not of my body, not of my past - and I think that really helps me.
Anyway. I think this is the real thing people should focus on. For some people, this is just a way to shed fifty pounds. But for so many more I think it's a way to shed years and years of bad feelings, bad habits and bad experiences. I think that without overcoming these obstacles, I might not have been able to maintain. Being unhappy all the time probably would have made it easier to fall into those old emotional eating patterns.
~Cheri

OTR I wish that was true
Spent 10 weeks in Sept/Oct last year travelling the US, bit of attention not too much.
Will be back in Feb in New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and then NYC.
Lets hope there is more attention then
I do like the US and the accents over there too

My son is younger than your kids (he was six) so I wrote him a "what if" letter that he thankfully never saw. I covered all of the bases...how to deal with dad, how to deal with grandma, how much I would be watching over him and loved him, and most importantly, that I had this surgery for ME with no mention of it being for him just incase I didn't make it. WHen I had complications I was very glad to have written that letter. But I will say it was damn painful to write.
I advise all mom's or dad's to write those letters though. Say the things you want them to know at those special events, just in case, and then tuck it away and hope that they never ever see it. It is SO HARD to write but the weight off your shoulder when you do is worth the pain.
That said, this is how I dealt with it. If he were 12 I probably would tell him more than I did (I told him I was having my tummy fixed...which he took to mean I was bringing home a baby LOL). But I still think you can't say everything...your fears, etc to kids your age. I think I'd keep it bright and hopeful and then just write those letters and tuck them away so you don't worry them, but feel your bases are covered.
I wish you the best!

I must be the luckiest person. I don't know what is said behind my back at work, but I get the best compliments to my face at least. My family all know and they have been truly supportive.
That "Don't lose anymore weight because you are looking sick" comment was beyond rude.
Keep working that sleeve and doing it for you and your health. We all here are very proud of you.

1. Cheetos
2. chocolate
3. Cheetos
4. Tortilla chips
5. Cheetos
6. Cheetos
7. Cheetos
8. Cheetos
9. Cheetos
10. Cheetos
Notice a pattern here? LOL

There is absolutely nothing useful or constructive in this entire thread.
I'm sorry the OP's sister has had a terrible experience, but I also realize this is a post by someone that did not choose to have the sleeve and who has no first hand experience to relate.
I think it's a bit ridiculous to implore strangers on the internet to change their minds entirely about surgery based upon one experience. I think the approach taken was wrong in that respect. Sharing information is one thing. Scare mongering is another. But what's the big deal in the end, really?
Look - I appreciate every single person that comes to VST to report their negative experiences. Because people researching surgery sometimes don't understand what complications can arise, even when they're clearly listed and every surgeon should cover them in detail. Heck, ten minutes of your time on VST could outline every single possible negative experience or side effect you could possibly have if you bother to do the search. Most people don't, but then most people undergoing surgery are so "eyes on the prize" that they completely disregard any risks as things that simply won't happen to them.
So people that are either post op and had a great experience should not take it personally when someone relates their PERSONAL negative experience here. It's not our job to defend the entire surgery. Some surgeons stink and shouldn't operate and sometimes complications happen even with great surgeons. The people doing research have a right to know about the good and the bad.
But much the same way I get peeved when I read an anti-Mexico surgery rant by someone that's never had a surgery in Mexico, I don't weight posts by people that haven't personally undergone surgery as heavily as I would a personal account. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
My sympathies to the OP's family because seeing a family member struggle isn't easy or fun for anyone.
Everyone else should really chill out and stop making this into an argument. There's nothing to argue about. OP says don't have surgery, lots of people love the surgery, whatever. VST is about sharing our vast breadth of experiences and that goes for positive as well as negative. There's nothing to be offended about when someone has a bad experience.
~Cheri

You also have to be in a position that is required to be silent. She could post her sisters name all week long and not violate HIPPA as she isn't a caregiver or a person in a position to protect confidential information. My doctor can't tell you what I weigh. My pilot can all day long if he wants to.

And if this was the reaction one would get to their first impassioned post, passion rightly earned by the way, would you want to post again? I totally understand if she's scared to do so. The reactions were kind of cruel.
While people say the story does not sound true, they show their lack of education in regards to this surgery. I had many of the same issues and many others here have as well. The complications due to lack of attention are just what I had, though not as bad. I lived the mini version so when I read this I totally can see where it makes sense. And believe me, while complications were discussed, no one told me the ugly reality of what that could be. NO ONE. When they say internal bleeding, they don't say you could lay there having seizures for hours without being able to communicate your pain. Nor do they say if you do have bleeding you now have to worry about hepatitis. No one mentioned holes in my lungs, or suction pipes attached to my chest. They gloss over "loss of your ability to eat ever again" pretty well in the paper work And then throw in a "but that's mostly a worry for the higher BMI folks" to put you at ease.
No one wants to hear the dirty side of this surgery. But it is important to hear it in detail, verses to see a few lines on a sheet they throw at you just before you go in. An intelligent adult will read this and process this and add it to their risk assessment without taking offense and passing out insults. Others will do something else. Who do you want to be?

All of us know someone who has had a serious problem after a medical procedure. I nearly died 12 years ago after a medical test went wrong. Heck, my daughter went into allergic shock from pineapple!
If this is a true story- which seems questionable due to a lot of inconsistencies-- how terrible.
That said, I found a surgeon who has done lots if these surgeries, is well known by my Gastroenterologist and pcp and is offering stellar pre surgery help and post surgery help. I don't think I would go an hour with a fever without calling the office.
And even with that, we have no guarantee of anything, even that we won't get hit by a bus crossing the street. This much I know, I will likely not live another 20 years at my weight. And, I am a chronic diet failure. My Gastro, allergist, dermatologist, neurologist and pcp are positive about my having this surgery. Looking forward to surgery Feb 28.

Given that I was unfortunate enough to go through much of what this person's sister has gone through I certainly feel they have a right to their opinion. Just because you disagree with it does not mean they shouldn't be given the same level of respect that someone who is gung ho for this surgery gets.
I am no idiot. I researched my surgery and physician quite well and I am a strong advocate for my care, and yet, when you are the person dying you might be in a position where you just can't fight. You're too weak, drugged up, whatever, it's hard and for anyone to question a person's ability at that time that has never experienced that level of suffering...well that's not fair and should be apologized for.
While this case is extreme, and thank god mine wasn't that bad, I also faced the future without being able to eat again due to the decay of my tissues and the difficulty in repairing them. It's a very real issue. If this is a troll it's a troll who has experienced something of this because they understand the process that the damage can take. I doubt it's a troll. Likely it's someone who's heart has been broken by what has happened to their family member who just wants to see no one else suffer like this. To be beat up for that is really kind of crappy. One post or one hundred...they deserve some respect.
OP I'm so sorry about your sister's condition. I and many others here have been down that road, though not to the extent she has been. I'm sorry for your pain, and actually agree with you in many cases. This surgery is preformed far too often and we see more and more stories like this because of it. I think about a third of the people who have the surgery should. Write your local media and representatives. This story should be told. I'd love to see people like me NOT be able to have this surgery. Not because I'm an idiot or didn't research, but because it's not a good choice for many. There are other options that should be exhausted first.

This is a very sad story indeed. Seriously sounds like malpractice.
I disagree with the whole "someone I love had a very bad experience therefore this is a bad surgery to have" mentality. My grandmother died of complications following knee replacement surgery, but I would never advise that people would be better of in wheelchairs rather than getting knee replacement surgery. It just doesn't make any sense.

What a tragic story. So sorry to hear about her unfortunate post op. we are all made aware of the risks involved, including death. This is just a choice we decide on to improve our quality of life. I'm sure that was what your sister was planning on as well. It's very obvious how much you love your sister and how knowledgable you are with the medical terms and equipment. I'm a nurse and I can tell you care. However, on that note it is important not to judge others on what they choose to do with their bodies. Who are we to judge how a person lives, eats, dresses, etc. you can only be there as a loving support to your fellow man. I will pray for you and your sister for improved healing both physically and emotionally. Praying goes a long way. Also counseling is helpful to deal with the anger, confusion and sadness associated with this tragic event. God bless you and to everyone else who feels trapped in a big body. It's not fun but there are solutions.

Sorry to hear about your sister, but first off you're violating her privacy and HIPAA by releasing her medical history publicly on the net. I had the surgery new years eve. I knew leaks were a possibility as does anyone else who has this surgery. Hell you can die on the table giving birth to a child - do you think every woman should quit going through child birth? It's a known risk you take - sorry it happened to your sister.

I am sorry to hear about your sister. Leaks are just one of the known risks of this surgery, and was a risk I was willing to take given the percentages of complications.
Everyone has their own reasons for having the surgery and each of us has our own risk tolerance. If your risk tolerance is very low, then I agree, don't have any surgeries. But, for myself, my quality of life was going downhill fast. A complication of a leak or otherwise was just another risk of being morbidly obese. I was willing to take the chance to fall into the 97% of patients who don't have these types of complications.
Again, I am sorry to hear about your sister and I will keep her in my thoughts.

I have cheek bones!!!!! Instead of big round "apples" I now have clearly defined cheek bones!!! Never knew it

As of today I am 4 months out from surgery and down 85.4 pounds! Lovin my sleeve

Surgery Oct. 15
Before pre op diet 456
Date of surgery 430
Current weight 353
Total loss 103 pounds

All I know is I don't wake up in the middle of the night to go. And my bms are smaller and stinkier lol

Hi
I just wanted to say you sound very strong. I admire your courage, and that you knew what mattered most. Also I hope you know he cheated because he's a pig not because of you or your weight. If Halle berry gets cheated on, you know something must be wrong with men :/
And congrats on the sleeve, I hope you had a smooth recovery

1/13/13
I am 35... Married with 2 kids... Ages 16 & 17
We started off young LOL
Well to be honest- Being a mother and wife consummed and defined me. Over the years I put myself on the back-burner, and my body packed on the pounds 5 pds here... Another 5 there :/
Before I knew it- Years went by in a blink of an eye, and I found myself lost! The 2 titles I held dearest... Mother & Wife were fading. I was dealing with my two children who mean the world to me... Pushing away. I guess impart it's normal for High Schoolers to distance themselves... But I wasn't ready for the change... Especially from both at the same time! Oh how I missed the days of elementary & junior high!
Next my Hubby... My partner since the age of 16 1/2... Had an affair... Yes It was the most painful and hurtful experience I have ever delt with. I had NO idea... He was Sooooo sneaky... This went on for 8 months until I found out. My kids knew about the affair, because the lady contacted them via Facebook. And their way of coping was to confided in one another, and for my sake not tell me. The truth finally came out once I found out that my daughter was "cutting", and the reason why :'( Honestly this was too much to bare... I felt like I was in horrible Spanish- Novela
My kids were growing... and dealing with the effects of my crumbling life. My marriage was hanging by a thread. It was time to focus on repairing damages. My main focus was the kids, and offering them comfort and stability. Next myself...I started to eat less... Mostly due to stress, but after a while I made the choice to change. I watched my diet, and started to work out. The weight started to come off. I went from 310 - 240.
Since I wasn't sure if I would still have insurance through my husband I started the process for WLS. I had played with the idea for 5-yrs or so. But finally I was ready!!! I was sleeved on Nov. 12th, 2012 in Fresno, CA.
As for my family... We have attended counseling, though the church and privately, and some how we are still standing. My children are happier & healthy ... and my husband and I are working on reconnecting... I'm still a Mother & Wife... The only difference is that I finally am taking care of me.
I realized... I'm not just a Mother and Wife... I'm a person too!!! What did I do to myself... My highest weight was 310. I felt unhealthy & ugly. Over the years I excluded myself from actitives due to embrassment. I was tired of feeling like a failure... I wanted to renew my life!
I'm only 2 months out, and I know that WLS was a great choice. It may not fix everything, but the changes in my personal life and weight are getting better!
Thanks be to God O:-)<