Thanks ladies, I did contact the abuse hotline. They gave me extremely great information. They will help me out with more then information once I make the decision to leave the house. I'm trying to get a regular apartment not a housing project simply because I don't want to change my kids life style. There are a lot of other woman in my situation that don't live in housing so I don't neither. I fear for the safety of my kids even though I should had left long ago. In this country your nobody if you have a bad credit score. I can't fix anything if I'm in a new place & have no money to pay the bills I have from the past. I have to think ahead of time & do what's best to be able not to struggle in life.
My kids will all be off to school next month. I get a better chance to look at the future & think straight how I see my self in a few years. In 2 years my teenager graduates high school. In 2 years I will have a 6 and 4 year old.
This will be harder then having a life style body change. I just can't do it anymore. I want him to change I really honestly do. I been with him forever. He is the father of my kids. Why does he hurt me? Why does he call our kids name? I do everything for the kids & I'm the bad parent. I don't understand. If there's no proof I cheated why accuse me simply because I'm not in the mood for sex. Why suddenly I'm getting sexy. Is it for him? Why can't I look good for me. He puts me down makes me feel like I'm nobody then thinks I'm getting sexy for him. Why he didn't simply support my decision in this surgery? I'm beginning to hate him. Is this normal?