MamaBear

OH my darling, let me share with you from where I sit 4 years out.
The fat cells that are rapidly emptying are also releasing serious quantities of estrogen. I had what felt like PMS for a year. Then there is the impact of losing your protective fat suit so all the world can see you. Then because you are focusing SO HARD on your food and learning how to manage your sleeve, you spend way too much time in your own head. On top of that you are trying to learn how to "be" as a regular sized person - which is kind of like moving to a foreign country where you don't speak the language. When I hit "normal' clothing sizes, every time I went into a clothing store, I was half waiting for the sales people to come and call me an imposter and tell me to go back to Lane Bryant. Rational huh?
At the 11 month mark I was probably as miserable and isolated as I have ever felt (short of post partum when my kids were born).
Stay on these boards, don't make ANY major life decisions and take care of you - it will pass. Do the things that feel good, and be mindful of when you are using food to hurt/comfort yourself. That is a sign that you aren't coping. Counselling helps. I wish I had the strength to reach out to a professional, but I was just so distraught yet thinking all should be well now that I wasn't so fat anymore. Fat was a symptom.
I have been away from bariatric discussion forums for over 2 yeras. I am back because I too need some support.
I send you a big hug and PROMISE that you will be ok.

OH my darling, let me share with you from where I sit 4 years out.
The fat cells that are rapidly emptying are also releasing serious quantities of estrogen. I had what felt like PMS for a year. Then there is the impact of losing your protective fat suit so all the world can see you. Then because you are focusing SO HARD on your food and learning how to manage your sleeve, you spend way too much time in your own head. On top of that you are trying to learn how to "be" as a regular sized person - which is kind of like moving to a foreign country where you don't speak the language. When I hit "normal' clothing sizes, every time I went into a clothing store, I was half waiting for the sales people to come and call me an imposter and tell me to go back to Lane Bryant. Rational huh?
At the 11 month mark I was probably as miserable and isolated as I have ever felt (short of post partum when my kids were born).
Stay on these boards, don't make ANY major life decisions and take care of you - it will pass. Do the things that feel good, and be mindful of when you are using food to hurt/comfort yourself. That is a sign that you aren't coping. Counselling helps. I wish I had the strength to reach out to a professional, but I was just so distraught yet thinking all should be well now that I wasn't so fat anymore. Fat was a symptom.
I have been away from bariatric discussion forums for over 2 yeras. I am back because I too need some support.
I send you a big hug and PROMISE that you will be ok.

I spent a whole lot of time on discussion boards back in 2008 when I got my sleeve. I was surrounded by lap banders and bypassers. There weren't many VSG folks - but generally everyody had the same journey to discuss and many of us were in the thick of it. I have ot credit those folks for their help. They were critical in my initial success.
I often wondered why I didn't see more people who were 3 - 5 and more years out from their surgeries on thos boards. Now I know why. I too left the boards when they were no longer relevant. I didn't want to read the posts that sounded exactly like my initial ones - I am scared, what do I eat? will my boobs droop? How come I can't poo? - and more of the same. I had lost my weight, retrained myself to eat with a sleeve, and was on an excellent regimen.
By the 18 month mark I was working through the incredible emotional impact my weight loss had. Who knew that such a happy thing might cause a tsunami of hormones and depression. Over it now... moving on. Then in 2011 my life became VERY stressful on all fronts. Where do I go? Comfort food. Granted I can't do quite as much damage in one sitting as I used to, but there is no limit to how much chocolate I can take in during a day. There is apparently also no limit to the amount of shame I can carry.
I still cope with food. I am now struggling big time with that feeling of a loss of control and my weight is creeping up. I didn't do this whole surgery thing just to be fat again. But what the surgery didn't do for me is change three fundamental things:
I still turn to food for comfort when I am hurting
I have not learned to enjoy any form of excercise - I have such a crazy career/commute/learning disabled child that I would have to make a huge set of changes to make time for something I hate. Doesn't bode well does it?
Self loathing and body image is not fixed with weight loss - I just found new things to hate

I am hoping that there are a few later stage sleevers on this page who may be facing this and who have something helpful to suggest. Anybody out there experienced the panic and shame of weight regain?
Thanks - I hope I have picked the right on line community.

OH my darling, let me share with you from where I sit 4 years out.
The fat cells that are rapidly emptying are also releasing serious quantities of estrogen. I had what felt like PMS for a year. Then there is the impact of losing your protective fat suit so all the world can see you. Then because you are focusing SO HARD on your food and learning how to manage your sleeve, you spend way too much time in your own head. On top of that you are trying to learn how to "be" as a regular sized person - which is kind of like moving to a foreign country where you don't speak the language. When I hit "normal' clothing sizes, every time I went into a clothing store, I was half waiting for the sales people to come and call me an imposter and tell me to go back to Lane Bryant. Rational huh?
At the 11 month mark I was probably as miserable and isolated as I have ever felt (short of post partum when my kids were born).
Stay on these boards, don't make ANY major life decisions and take care of you - it will pass. Do the things that feel good, and be mindful of when you are using food to hurt/comfort yourself. That is a sign that you aren't coping. Counselling helps. I wish I had the strength to reach out to a professional, but I was just so distraught yet thinking all should be well now that I wasn't so fat anymore. Fat was a symptom.
I have been away from bariatric discussion forums for over 2 yeras. I am back because I too need some support.
I send you a big hug and PROMISE that you will be ok.

OH my darling, let me share with you from where I sit 4 years out.
The fat cells that are rapidly emptying are also releasing serious quantities of estrogen. I had what felt like PMS for a year. Then there is the impact of losing your protective fat suit so all the world can see you. Then because you are focusing SO HARD on your food and learning how to manage your sleeve, you spend way too much time in your own head. On top of that you are trying to learn how to "be" as a regular sized person - which is kind of like moving to a foreign country where you don't speak the language. When I hit "normal' clothing sizes, every time I went into a clothing store, I was half waiting for the sales people to come and call me an imposter and tell me to go back to Lane Bryant. Rational huh?
At the 11 month mark I was probably as miserable and isolated as I have ever felt (short of post partum when my kids were born).
Stay on these boards, don't make ANY major life decisions and take care of you - it will pass. Do the things that feel good, and be mindful of when you are using food to hurt/comfort yourself. That is a sign that you aren't coping. Counselling helps. I wish I had the strength to reach out to a professional, but I was just so distraught yet thinking all should be well now that I wasn't so fat anymore. Fat was a symptom.
I have been away from bariatric discussion forums for over 2 yeras. I am back because I too need some support.
I send you a big hug and PROMISE that you will be ok.

Even 4 years out when I have a backslide, and when I find my inner strength, I can trust my sleeve.
I could have written your post - but I compare it to smoking... you have to get the drug out of your system. Go hard on your protein/water/healthy food only for 4 days and the cravings leave as the crap is out of your system.
If I crave carbs at night, I have a cup of tea and my sleeve is so happy for the warm comforting hug on the inside, the cravings go.

AS I wade tentatively back into the Bariatric support community, I just want to say that these answers have been really helpful. I feel like I got a hug today.
Thank you...

I love the humour on this page because in many places I feel outnumbered and it is so "not okay" to say that I don't believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny either but that doesn't make me a bad person.
I come from the pragmatic viewpoint that many wars are caused by two segments of people fighting over who has the better invisible friend.
Never mind that... I would prefer to be a good athiest than a bad intolerant Christian.

Just joined this forum and noticed the neatly laid out categories of sleevers. Then I saw a group "Christian Sleevers" and immediately smacked my forehead and thought.... "really?? They even found a way to bring being christian into weight loss surgery?!?"
SO I was happy to see that there is a place for those of us who don't believe. Safe place to talk about our medical, nutritional and emotional issues around our sleeves, because those are the thing that are relevant, and not worry about what God thinks.

Just joined this forum and noticed the neatly laid out categories of sleevers. Then I saw a group "Christian Sleevers" and immediately smacked my forehead and thought.... "really?? They even found a way to bring being christian into weight loss surgery?!?"
SO I was happy to see that there is a place for those of us who don't believe. Safe place to talk about our medical, nutritional and emotional issues around our sleeves, because those are the thing that are relevant, and not worry about what God thinks.

I love the nectar Brand shakes, but their availability in my area is hit and miss, so my go to Protein is Isowhey Breezer
http://www.befit.ca/isobreezer.html

Hey Shelley,
Congratulations on pushing through the Protein Yuck of pre-surgery. I thought it might be useful to post a few tips for you from my experience if you are interested.
1. It is almost a given that your tastes will change quite dramatically in the first weeks and months after surgery. Don't load up on the powder you like now because you may hate it after.
2. Milk may work at the moment, but you may not find it that useful in shakes after. It may cause you to feel yucky, and if you are trying to get in your daily recommended volume of liquid, Water based shakes may be more palatable for you.
3. Bananas are carb bombs - not all fruit is good.
4. Try this recipe: 20 oz of Water with ice in a shaker bottle, add a scoop of Breezer or nectar brand peach flavoured shake and a matching peach crystal lite packet. See how that works for you. I have had one of those or something similar every morning for over 4 years. Never could do milk, or the chocolate/vanilla rich chaulky shakes, they caused nausea - so experimenting with flavours is the best way to find what you can stick to.
WIshing you the best from deep on the other side!

WARNING: Beware evil nitrates folks!! lunch meats are full of processed garbage salt and nitrates.
Your body needs super efficient and hight quality food now - you don't have the room for extras so select your food carefully.

Hi Suzie!
I am new to this particular board but am a 4 year Veteran and came back because I needed a boost of support to keep the regain under control...
You are about to do the best thing you have ever done for yourself. Don't let anybody, not even yourself tell you differently. You are worth this. Here are the top 5 things you need to know:
1. You won't die on the table - the Doctor has as much interest in keeping his malpractice insurance rates down as you do to live
2. Yes you will eat differently the rest of your life - deal with it. I promise it will be normal in 6 months.
3. Whatever made you overeat isn't "cured" with surgery - emotional work continues
4. You will have the best wild ride ever for the first year - focus on the good parts of that
5. Your boobs will deflate. Sorry girlfriend, it is just the reality. The upside is you will be buying AWESOME new undergear that will left the girls back to where they belong.
Hang tough and stick around...

OH my darling, let me share with you from where I sit 4 years out.
The fat cells that are rapidly emptying are also releasing serious quantities of estrogen. I had what felt like PMS for a year. Then there is the impact of losing your protective fat suit so all the world can see you. Then because you are focusing SO HARD on your food and learning how to manage your sleeve, you spend way too much time in your own head. On top of that you are trying to learn how to "be" as a regular sized person - which is kind of like moving to a foreign country where you don't speak the language. When I hit "normal' clothing sizes, every time I went into a clothing store, I was half waiting for the sales people to come and call me an imposter and tell me to go back to Lane Bryant. Rational huh?
At the 11 month mark I was probably as miserable and isolated as I have ever felt (short of post partum when my kids were born).
Stay on these boards, don't make ANY major life decisions and take care of you - it will pass. Do the things that feel good, and be mindful of when you are using food to hurt/comfort yourself. That is a sign that you aren't coping. Counselling helps. I wish I had the strength to reach out to a professional, but I was just so distraught yet thinking all should be well now that I wasn't so fat anymore. Fat was a symptom.
I have been away from bariatric discussion forums for over 2 yeras. I am back because I too need some support.
I send you a big hug and PROMISE that you will be ok.

If anybody can speak from experience, I have tested the limits of my little best pal. Try eating pork stew a little too fast or just that one bite too much and you will be reminded rather promptly that you have been greedy. After 30 minutes of walking it off you will have rediscovered the respect.
I am four years out, and yes I can eat more than I could in the first two years. It does take a full 18 months to heal completely... a much overlooked fact.
HOWEVER - I still know when to stop. My kids know that when I hiccough I put my fork down. They all say "OH... Mommy is full".
SO remember, trust your tool and respect it or it will open up a can of whoop ass on you when you push it.

We truly become somebody new - even more on the inside than the outside.
I love your story.

I just mixed it with some Crystal Light for the first time tonight & don't mind it that way.

Even 4 years out when I have a backslide, and when I find my inner strength, I can trust my sleeve.
I could have written your post - but I compare it to smoking... you have to get the drug out of your system. Go hard on your protein/water/healthy food only for 4 days and the cravings leave as the crap is out of your system.
If I crave carbs at night, I have a cup of tea and my sleeve is so happy for the warm comforting hug on the inside, the cravings go.

We truly become somebody new - even more on the inside than the outside.
I love your story.

Hey Sleevemaster - you are so right!!! I don't think that pre-surgery I could have IMAGINED that I would look at a particular kind of goody and think "Hmmm. that doesn't actually taste good enough for me to invest"
Seriously newbies - listen up - you will be able to foster appreciation for high quality flavours. Seriously, I couldn't eat a donut now for any reason. If I am going to have a treat I am careful not to eat things that don't make me feel like "hammered poo" ( my new favourite saying now).

I agree the head and the heart have to be dealt with before you make this kind of a plunge so you don't endanger your health.
That said... As addicted as I was to cream filled, fatty, sugary, tasty things....my tastes have TOTALLY changed. The other night I went to a tea and I saved my calories all day for it. I decided for the first time to "splurge" a little bit. None of it tasted good at all. The next day I felt like hammered poo. My low carb yogurt and grape nuts tasted SOOOO good!! My head thinks it wants goodies, but my body violently disagrees! Soo....there's that. Everyone is a little different.

This isn't a moment in particular, but it is happiness I like to share anyway. I have always had HUGE feet - size 12 and had trouble finding shoes. On top of that I was so obese that my feet hurt all the time. So I spent a lot of time in mens shoes with arch support... talk about a buzz kill that makes you feel dowdy!
Now I have a RIDICULOUS number of high heeled shoes. I go on 4 inch wedges just to grocery shop. I wear very slutty shoes with a conservative business suit just because I can. I order them on line from Nordstrom and I don't care if it is excessive... I deserve at least one vice.
My husband built me a "shoe church" of shelves in my closet so I can pick which lovely pair of sweeties I will wear to WOW the world.
You know the body part will never be perfect after two kids and a huge weight loss, but the shoes make a bg difference in how I feel.

I haven't had a problem with nectar either. I have the cup with the wire ball, and they mix really well with Water. I like the fruity flavors with water.

Syntrax's Nectars mix well with Water. Especially the fruity ones.