babsyintx

Hi Again: I thought I would post this response from obesityhelp. It is profound and I am convinced this woman should be a psychologist! "So I guess my question (if I really have one) is what defines success?" What defines success IMHO is that you are healthy and you are living your life fully. Unless there is anything you are still NOT doing because you think you're "too fat," then I'd say you've arrived. Babs, might it just be the natural letdown we experience when a longstanding objective is achieved, or nearly achieved? Sort of the "is that all there is" feeling? Let's face it, the reality is that every dream once realized has consequences we didn't foresee (even a great marriage doesn't mean "happily ever after" with no up's and down's ... money truly does not buy happiness ... etc.) Maybe on some level you are "postponing" fully achieving this objective you've set because as long as you are striving to get there, you can postpone the disappointment that NOTHING WILL CHANGE IF YOU WEIGH A FEW LESS POUNDS. Or maybe the objective of a specific weight is arbitrary and not all that significant. The one idea I can throw at you is this -- would it help if you set a DIFFERENT, significant objective for yourself, one having nothing to do with weight, to give you another challenge to focus on? Maybe something you've always wanted to learn or do (speak a new language, play the piano, get a degree, take up skydiving -- whatever!) In any case, you are a great success story and inspiration. I would be PROUD to send hugs -- oh heck, toss in some kisses -- to such a star!

Good morning! I posted this on obesityhelp this morning. Wanted to share since you guys know me so well!!! I dont mean to whine but I need some cyberhugs. These last pounds are going so slow and sometimes I feel like I dont have the drive or energy to make it to my final destination. I started with such a high BMI (53.9), and now at (BMI 30.) and there are days that I feel like if I had started 30 or 40 lbs lighter, I would already be at goal. I gave myself 2 years to lose 164-170 pounds. I am mostly there at 19 months out with 5 months left, but I am feeling like I am just not going to make it. I know that a lot to do with it is because I am being complacent. I am still exercising, but not as much as before. I eat an occasional tortilla chip or two or three! I dont need a fill. I just need a mental adjustment. I feel like I am in purgatory; lost enough weight that I am no longer morbidly obese, but not enough to be at a normal BMI. I have been sitting in the 180's since November and I have only lost 4 pounds in the last two months. I wonder if some of this is psychological. I have been addressing this with my therapist and I think a lot of it has to do with fear of the new found attention I have been getting. On my most recent business trip, I had 5 people tell me what a beautiful smile I have out of the blue, a few tell me I am beautiful, doors being open and swarms of people giving me attention. Part of me likes it a lot and the other part of me is a little angry because I wonder if any of these folks would have paid the least bit of attention to me when I was morbidly obese. So part of me wonders if I am sabotaging my further progress because of fear of the unknown . The intellectual side of me knows that I look 100% better, feel great and I am a lot healthier. I did have this surgery for the right reasons cause I wanted to be able to run up a flight of stairs, play and run around with my two children, fit in airplane seats and basically live my life to the fullest. But even with a goal of 170 lbs, I will still be overweight by around 15+ pounds, so I dont think I am being totally unrealistic. So I guess my question (if I really have one) is what defines success? It seems that lots of old demons are also popping out of the closet as well that were well concealed by the excess weight. Question like what do people see when they look at me and why do they like me and more importantly what do I like about myself keep filling my brain. And am I purposely sabotaging myself? Well, enough ranting for today. My brain hurts from all of the thinking! LOL Babs in TX 334/186/170 -148 6/23/03

Rachel, Congratulations!!!! You will be a bandster in no time!!! Babs in TX 334/186/170 -148 6/23/03

Hi Lisa, I agree with Michelle. There is no one here on this board that would do anything to hurt or sabotage you in anyway. And none of us that I know are portless. I am really sorry that your body is rejecting the band. I bet though that you will go a long time without a removal and I still have faith that you will be able to overcome this. Hang in there and know we are all here for you. Hugs, Babs in TX 334/186/170 -148 6/23/03

Hey Brighteyes, Everything you describe is normal. The tightness you feel in your chest is normal. Your body is learning to live with the band. Most of us take in lots of air when we eat and drink. Since you now have a restrictive device , the air either has to come out or go through the band. Sometimes this will result in tightness in the chest or hiccups, both which are common til you learn how to swallow without gulping. Glad to see you are able to have some creamy soups now. You are on your way to mushies and real food!!! Babs in TX 334/186/170 -148 6/23/03

Hi Everyone, Count me in again! I had a great time!!! Babs in TX 334/186/170 -148

Hi Leatha, Yeah!!!!!!!! I know how it feels to be staring at the same number ofr a while. Just came off of a six week plateau. Good for you!!!! Babs in TX 334/187/170 -147

Hi, Wanted to give you my perspective on the situation. I have been married 10 years and I have two children. My husband is a nice well grounded man, good father, engineering professional who cant communicate if his life depended on it. I do love him, but since I have lost the weight, I find myself yearning for excitement, attention and affirmation of my new appearance . My husband does not offer me this. My weight loss has taken a toll on our marriage. I went into therapy to try to figure out whether the problem was him , me or both of us. Still havent figured that out. Until I do, I will stay in this relationship and try to make it work. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I can see why the statistics are high. I dont think they are 80%, but they are higher than the normal divorce rate. Babs in TX 334/187/170 -147

I was on clear liquids for 5 days, then creamy liquids for another 9 days and then mushies for a week. By week 4, I was eating solid foods. Yes, it is normal to feel a little down after surgery. I think it was about three weeks before I felt that I had made a good decision and I was starving until I got my first fill at 6 weeks out. Hang in there. It will get better.! Babs in TX 334/187/170 -147 6/23/03

Hi Shelley, I am excited too! OK, make that 17 more pounds I have to lose. Got on the scale and broke my plateau. Down to 187.!! Babs in TX 334/187/170 -147

Hi Everyone, I am trying to catch up on posts and I noticed there are lots of new folks here!! That is truly wonderful. I am presently fighting the battle to get the last 18 pounds off my body. Been plateauing for the last 6 weeks. Went to the gym today after taking a 6 week hiatus, so I am hoping that this will get me back on track. I am really monitoring my food intake and trying to keep it under or about 1000-1100 per day. I am leaving this weekend to go to Nashville, Baltimore, PA, back to Nashville and also Indiana to visit clients. I am meeting up with Shelly (Southern Bandgal) and Calvin on Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning. I am really looking forward to this trip and hanging with some bandsters and meeting some clients. I will miss you all. OK, I am only gone 5 days, but I am addicted to this board!!!! Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03

Hi, My goal is to lose the last 18 pounds and finally get to goal (or beyond)! I want my business to thrive again and now my thinner self will just have to go out and meet some clients again. No hiding behind fat layers and a phone.!! And last, sell my house and try to be more organized!!! Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03

Ryan, You have a lot more patience than I do. I am really sorry that you and your wife are suffering because of inefficient care. Please get some rest and both of you feel better. Babs in TX

Hi Alex, Sounds like my month!!! I write this as I sit here sniffling with a hellatious head cold and feeling sorry for myself! LOL Earlier this month I was complaining about the hair loss, (which seems to have stopped since I got my hair cut), lost deals, a house that hasnt sold and numerous other things that have been going wrong in my life. Now the hair seems to be on the mend, a few deals came through and although it still aint great, its definitely an improvement from before. Everything is going to be fine and the New Year brings hope. And all of those folks suffering does bring alot into perspective. Hugs, Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03

Thanks Penni, I am meeting with my client on the 11th, but I am flying in on the 8th of January which is a Saturday. Gonna spend a few days in Nashville and then drive to Knoxville and jump on a corporate charter with my client headed to Evansville. Should be interesting. Never could have fit my fat butt on an 8 person charter before sooooo we will see how this goes!! Babs in TX

Leigh, I do not eat healthy all the time. I eat healthy about 85% of the time. The first six months I stuck to a very strict eating plan cause I wanted to expedite my weight loss. THen I started adding some healthy carbs back to my plan the second six months.I limited treat to special occasions when I would have a piece of cake or a cookie or some french fries. It really depends on how fast you want to lose the weight. But generally speaking (which is what everyone means here) you will have to make some permanent lifestyle changes. Yes, I still have my treats, but if I want that piece of cake now that I am closer to goal, I have to work it off at the gym or take a long walk around the neighborhood just like most thin people do. I guess what I am saying is that all of us are metabolically challenged for life having been obese for so long, lapband or not. You will always have to eat less to keep it off. The band will help you do this cause physically you will never be able to eat what you previously did with proper restriction. But you still make the choices what goes in your mouth. What I do that works for me is I go out once a week and eat whatever I want. Of course with the band, I know that the amount will be much less. But it is still possible to sabotage yourself with any WLS and it is also possible to eat around the band. So your docs are being very black and white here because if you practice good habits early in your banding journey, most of those new habits will stick with you forever. Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03

Hi Michelle, I am booking my tickets. I am heading to Evansville to see a client and wanted to know which airport is closer to you Nashville or Knoxville? Let me know soon. I need to book the tickets in the next day or so!!! Call me on my toll free. I tried your cell and no success!!!! Too busy with your lovely significant other.... I know, a guy wins out everytime!! LOL Babs in TX

Hi Becca, I would go for the boobies! Wait... you are married right? Hmmmm, that changes things a weeee bit. I was thinking with a good set of jugs and a nice chin job you could get a geezer to buy you a house or perhaps a new career as a showgirl in Vegas.! After our live bandaid for bandsters event, we should have enough money for the house and the boobs ..... Babs in TX

Hi Lisa, At least you are in the right city to do it! Land of plastic women with boob jobs that probably didnt even need them.! LOL Maybe we could organize our own charity event called "Live Bandaid for bandsters". For free plastic surgery, I would be willing to strut my stuff on a stage somewhere. There has to be a gimmick...... Babs in TX

Hi Jammen, My insurance will cover a panniculectomy but will not cover full abdominoplasty. I know they wont cover a boob job or thigh lift for sure. It really depends on your insurance company and what they qualify as medical necessity. None of the sagging skin is really causing me any major problems except for inner thighs. i havent really pushed the issue with insurance yet. I am starting a paper trail with my PCP so I can prove medical necessity as some point in the future. You should focus on one problem at a time. Getting the weight off is the most important thing for your health. Plastic surgery is a luxury issue unless you are truly having problems with excess skin. I know we are joking (kinda) about plastics cause most of us are still focused with ongoing weight loss. The truth is that I can live with my body if I had to. Im much better off than I was a 1 1/2 ago. I have lots of energy and my quality of life is very good compared to where I was before. Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03

Hi Lisa, The HOME SHOPPING CHANNEL! LOL I was just comparing it to the cost to have it done in the US! Hey, its cheaper than a lapband. Although I have insurance, I still had to cough up a couple of grand in deductable. I got credit card and will travel! Babs in TX

Hi Petunia, Its a shame that your boyfriend was denied, but there are options for him. Can he appeal? If not, is cash pay an option? Where there is a will, there is a way. As far as Protein powder, I made the mistake of investing in a big container at GNC that I never used. I did not have a pre op diet plan so I did not have to lose before surgery. After surgery, I was only required to do liquids for two weeks and moved on to mushies. I found the Carbolite shakes at Walmart to be the best bang for the buck. They are premade with 21 grams of protein per serving. No mixing which is a pain. I still buy them occasionally since I dont like to eat Breakfast at all. Anyway, whatever you buy, make sure that you really like it and that you dont buy too much. You will be on solids and mushies before you know it. Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146

Rica, You hot mamma! You and your man look like fashion models! Wow, what a beautiful couple! Keep up the good work and save the money for the Carribean next year! You made a wise decision to go with the lapband. Health is much more important than any other gift. Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03

Hi Again, Alex: I wasnt joking. Up until a few months ago, I was thinking that I was looking pretty hot for a chick who had lost almost 150 lbs. But with the hanging stomach and the thigh excess, I am sure that if it came off, I would be a size or two smaller than I am now. And it aint pretty. Yes, I am terrified of plastic surgery, but at 39 years of age, I want to be able to look in the mirror and not be mortified by what I see. What you said about your grandma was beautiful and you are right. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Lisa: My friend went to Costa Rica this week to have her eyes done, face peel and teeth bleached. She wants a boob job as well, but she is trying the less radical stuff first. Its not as expensive as you think and you can put it on a credit card! I would guess for a chin, belly arms and thighs, you would be looking at less than 10K plus airfare. They have a retreat where they take care of you that cost about 65. 00 dollars a day that includes meals and assistance as well as transportation. And they allow you to share a room, which brings the price down even more. Another one of my lapband friends just had plastic surgery in Mexico. It cost her 9100 to have beltectomy, boob job and chin work. Charge!!!!! LOL I truly didnt think I would be so driven to have stuff fixed, but as I get closer to goal, everything is really drooping. I look like a Sharpei! Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03

Hi Penni, I have done all the research. If you do a search under the Rosenstock Liebermann CLinic, you can get info about the retreat, how much etc. I know there is a site where bandsters talk about plastic surgery and some of them go down in a group together so they dont get lonely. They have nice excursions, but you have to do them before the surgery and allocate at least 7-10 days after. They dont want you to go home until they know you are OK to travel. Maybe early summer? Babs in TX