Desert cactus

Do you know when to call it quits? To quit a meal, that is?


It’s 12:15 pm. Sad to say, your meal is over now.

I used to work with a recovering food addict (I'll call her Wendy) whose work station was about four feet away from mine. We both went to lunch in the company break room at noon every day.

Wendy had lost over 100 pounds in a 12-step program, but food was still of paramount importance to her. At 11:45 every morning, she would announce hopefully, "It's getting close to lunch."

At 11:55, she would announce ominously, "It's getting dangerously close to lunch."

At 12:00, she would announce triumphantly, "It's time for lunch!", spring out of her chair, and head for the break room.

At 12:15, came the final, regretful announcement, "Lunch is over."

Our coworkers found this daily ritual both amusing and annoying. Only another food addict (like me) could understand what was going on in Wendy's head as she looked forward to her noon meal and then mourned its passing.

What's the take-home message from this story?

Lunch is over. It has to be over. You must put down your fork and stop eating when your planned portion is gone or the instant you get a stop message. But what if there's still food left on your plate? What about the children in Armenia (all starving, according to my mother)? What about that leftover food?

1. Get up from the table (say, "Excuse me" if it seems indicated).
2. Put the food in a storage container, and put the container in the refrigerator, or throw the food away (down the garbage disposal, where you can't get at it, is best).
3. Take your plate to the sink and rinse or wash it.

Did I say "throw the food away"? In spite of the starving Armenian children? I sure did. I'm not going to tell the World Health Organization that you threw out the extra food. You can donate money to a food charity to help feeding starving children (you'll be able to afford a few bucks for charity because you won't be spending $50 a month on soda). God will not strike you dead for this, I promise.

Remember what Rhoda Morgenstern said to Mary Tyler Moore as she tore into a chocolate bar back in 1973 (or thereabouts)?

"I don't know why I'm eating this. I should just rub it directly on my hips."

So look at that plate of leftover food and ask yourself, "Should I roll in it, or throw it away?"

Lunch is over!