Bandista

Jealous, Julie! It's so flipping COLD here!!!

Glad to hear good news!
Things are going well on my Hawaiian vacation. I know... Piña colada has coconut and pineapple... So it's a fruit. Right?
Lots of Protein Bars and ready to go Protein drinks... Cannot get them to blend well as hard as I try!!!
I'll just enjoy my slice of paradise for a few more days before the real world comes back....
Eating well 90% of the time. That is
Good enough for today!
Aloha!!????????

Just checking in with my "family". I've been doing great with the food. Down to 194/193 and slowly bumping that down. I'm finding that the longer my food is clean (no bready or starchy carbs, zero fried food, moderate portions, no alcohol) my band is tighter. I get stuck a lot lately (every couple of days) if I don't chew well and don't slow down. I was eating radishes as a snack every day for awhile and then suddenly at work I got stuck on radishes. Radishes! The sliming was horrendous. And pink. Lol. Anyway, it has proven to me that I am indeed at the right fill level and need no more.
The divorce is creeping forward slooooowly, but now that there's a trial date set, I'm looking forward with excitement to the new part of my life waiting for me this summer.
I cannot stress enough how important working with a therapist and my 12-step groups has been for me going through all of this.
I also have a couple of the best friends in the world and have had these people in my life since age 14. I rely on them so much, and they rely on me as well. I am truly blessed.
Happy news. Eldest daughter has started to hear back this week from some of the ten graduate schools she applied to, and has been accepted to Emory, among others. She's flying high, and I'm as proud as a peacock.
Hugs to all my peeps.

I can eat bread! Getting on the horn first thing tomorrow for a fill appointment, good grief, why am I even trying to eat baguette (with butter, ugh, my old self, no!). I realize I've been nibbly and hungry and grazing, etc. Duh! I so know better than this. But bread, good grief. For me that is just crazy. It's been building up and suddenly makes sense -- slipped out of the green zone without being fully aware (or not wanting to -- lazy, don't want to be too tight so cautious, or just enjoying the extra calories and the feeling of rewarding/indulging at my least favorite time of year?). Whatever it is, I'm not going down this road.

So, even leaner and meaner then, eh? Way to go! Thanks for the inspiration this morning.

Have fun, Jean, and know you are worth it all....I love reading your pieces. Choose yourself first and enjoy filling up that closet and feeling good about yourself. You deserve it!

Best = the size ten red pants or any number of happy moments. Feeling my hip and clavicle bones, dressing up, dancing, fitting in anywhere......literally.
Worst = "I don't know what you did..." a comment from a guy I don't even know very well but it haunts me (I keep my WLS private.)....wish I had said something like it's not what I did but what I don't do anymore: stress eat, etc.

Anyone else have an issue getting stuck on fish such as salmon and other meaty fish? I tried to order this a few times at business lunches and it's not been successful. I have learned to slow down and take small bites so it's not a complete stuck episode but I have to go to the bathroom and lean over to get it to go down.
This last fill that I got last week is really giving me restriction. I have to be very mindful (not a bad thing!) of what I eat now.

Got the call today surgery date is February 29th. Yes leap day how exciting is that?

Best:
Feeling a tremendous relief in my back pain.
Knees feeling better.
Returning to the gym and actually doing something when I'm there.
Great blood flow and everything that entails.
Actually shopping for clothes in random stores......not the bigger & taller stores.
Not cringing when someone starts taking pictures at an event.
Minimal dread of upcoming surgeries. For instance, I have a torn rotator cuff in right shoulder that is needing repair. The abdominal hernia that was repaired during my sleeve surgery is not doing well and surgeon said he'd have to go back in and try again in a few months. Knowing I'll be lighter and stronger for these really cuts down over the apprehension of the surgeries.
Knowing that I'll soon be in the "5K race-ready" physical shape and will be able to maintain this for the rest of my life. 6 months ago I would have laughed hysterically at someone suggesting this madness. The new realities are simply awesome and I'm very, very grateful.
Worst:
Realizing that weight loss doesn't fix everything....job stress, marital issues, etc. It truly does resolve so many health issues that I almost expected it to solve everything, lol.
Sitting at a restaurant for long, long meals while others eat forever. It's not that I care what they eat. It's not that I care to eat it either. It's simply that food-related activity means so little to me. I'd rather be doing something else. I suppose that's why I try to encourage folks to sit at the bar with me when we go out to eat. It's more interactive and fun.
A self-critical eye that doesn't ever seem to be satisfied. For instance....when I was pre-op, I was seeing myself as a mildly heavy guy. What a joke, but it's true. I didn't behave like a morbidly obese person....it's like I looked past what I saw in the mirror. Now, though.....the more I lose it seems the more I see I need to loose. For example, quads are solid and firm, but I detest the softer areas that I've not developed yet. It's going to be okay.....as I lose, I can do more in the gym and all things will come around. It's just weird.

@@Alex Brecher
Now, what are your best and worst weight loss surgery experiences outside of the clinic?
My health held me back from living life. The best gift gift outside the clinic is being more invested in my relationships, having adventures and experiences in life.
Worst experience is having society mirror to me that I am more valued as a thin person.

Best: Being able to walk and talk at the same time with speed and not feel at all exhausted.
Worst: Trigger foods

Best: average sized clothes and being able to get into yoga positions much easier
Worst: trying to eat out with other people because they all seem to think I can just eat small portions of all foods

Best physically: being able to walk like a normal person. No more cane, and no more severe joint pain.
Best emotionally: wearing dresses at work like I did years ago..and getting compliments all the time from my colleagues..and now the BF when we meet up after work.
Worst: Times when I'd like to eat certain trigger foods with abandon. Can't do it no more..which is good of course, but I admit that I miss it sometimes.

My worst: My S.O. committing suicide while I was having my surgery.
My best: Being warmly welcomed back on Bariatric Pal after being gone for so long and being validated that John's suicide really wasn't my fault.

Ummm I'm waiting for my worst to be a Tummy Tuck. Then I'm waiting for my best to be a tummy tuck.....Wink wink!

One of the best: When my daughter said "I told Dad how you are losing tons of weight and that you look amazing." Her dad and I have been divorced since 2010. He was always very critical about my weight.
One of the worst: When I was on a date with a guy and we talked about my surgery. He immediatly brought up skin removal surgery. I felt instantly unattractive.

Best = the size ten red pants or any number of happy moments. Feeling my hip and clavicle bones, dressing up, dancing, fitting in anywhere......literally.
Worst = "I don't know what you did..." a comment from a guy I don't even know very well but it haunts me (I keep my WLS private.)....wish I had said something like it's not what I did but what I don't do anymore: stress eat, etc.

Best = the size ten red pants or any number of happy moments. Feeling my hip and clavicle bones, dressing up, dancing, fitting in anywhere......literally.
Worst = "I don't know what you did..." a comment from a guy I don't even know very well but it haunts me (I keep my WLS private.)....wish I had said something like it's not what I did but what I don't do anymore: stress eat, etc.

That's the pointy ball thing, right?

Best = the size ten red pants or any number of happy moments. Feeling my hip and clavicle bones, dressing up, dancing, fitting in anywhere......literally.
Worst = "I don't know what you did..." a comment from a guy I don't even know very well but it haunts me (I keep my WLS private.)....wish I had said something like it's not what I did but what I don't do anymore: stress eat, etc.

Best = the size ten red pants or any number of happy moments. Feeling my hip and clavicle bones, dressing up, dancing, fitting in anywhere......literally.
Worst = "I don't know what you did..." a comment from a guy I don't even know very well but it haunts me (I keep my WLS private.)....wish I had said something like it's not what I did but what I don't do anymore: stress eat, etc.

NOT!!!!!!

I can eat bread! Getting on the horn first thing tomorrow for a fill appointment, good grief, why am I even trying to eat baguette (with butter, ugh, my old self, no!). I realize I've been nibbly and hungry and grazing, etc. Duh! I so know better than this. But bread, good grief. For me that is just crazy. It's been building up and suddenly makes sense -- slipped out of the green zone without being fully aware (or not wanting to -- lazy, don't want to be too tight so cautious, or just enjoying the extra calories and the feeling of rewarding/indulging at my least favorite time of year?). Whatever it is, I'm not going down this road.

NOT!!!!!!