joatsaint

My office has an official celebration for everyone having a birthday each month. And they bring out the goodies. Lots of cookies, dips, chocolate gooey thingies and of course cake. For reasons unknown to me the thought of all those goodies lined up for the taking triggers something in my brain. I get a ravenous hunger that almost compels me to eat stuff that normally I don't even think about. I just want to bury my face in the cake and go, "Nom nom nom. Oh, you're a dirty cake aren't you! Nom nom nom." I was able to restrain myself to just one piece of coated popcorn. I thought it was a coated nut. Honest! AND it was yucky! (That's my story and I'm stickin to it!) I am not looking for applause or a pat on the back, since I only did what I was suppose to do - for the past 35 years. Just wanted to share that we all have our weak moments and demons to fight. Keep Pimpin That Sleeve!

I thought the rule was "sex on the 3rd date."

I only walk, but it was over a month before I could do any serious walking. My knees and feet hurt all the time. I started by parking at the far end of the lot at work, Wal-Mart or the grocery store to make me walk farther. Then I set a goal of making 4 laps around the inside of my office several times a day. I'm on month 5 now, and walk between 3 and 7 miles a day - depending on how much I hurt. I bought a cheap pedometer and use that to gauge my distance.

I tried drinking a Sprite Zero the other day and I had trouble swallowing it. I'm no long use to drinking carbonated drinks. I believe that carbonated drinks are not taboo. But when I try something new, like Sprite, I always go very very slow, take small sips, and wait a few minutes between sips to see how my stomach reacts. Everyone's stomach is different - as well as having doctors that have different ideas about their patient's diets. I never did finish that Sprite!

I had that same pain the 1st 10 days. I had to sleep propped up/on my back. I felt a pulling sensation in my stomach in addition to the pain whenever I tried laying flat and on my side. I rolled up a comforter and use two pillows to keep myself propped up in bed. About day 10 I was able to lay flat and on either side without discomfort.

I was a massage therapist and it didn't matter to me if a client was fat/thin/saggy skin/young/old. I just wanted to give them the best massage experience I could. And I think most massage therapists feel the same. So I wouldn't worry about loose skin, they are happy to have you on the table.

I take the Sam's Club multivitamin and sublingual B12 from Wal-Mart.

Yeaaa, you're probably right. By the way, are you suppose to weigh yourself after jumping the shark?

I've asked if there are other people out there that weigh before and after a poop, and was really surprised that I was not alone! But do any ladies weigh themselves before and after breast feeding? Or is this just wrong?????

You're not the only one with low energy. You can add me to the list, but I had low energy long before the surgery. I think my problem is the combination of sleep apnea and COPD that keeps me from getting enough rest/oxygen.

I didn't know that there was a Margarita flavored Crystal Light. I'll have to check it out. I never found a chicken broth better than the Chunky Soup Heart Healthy Chicken Noodle flavor. I had to strain out the noodles and the chicken, but it was good. Good luck.

Congrats, I too am looking forward to "just" being overweight.

You think you have it bad at work? Here I am at work, reading the comments on a story about poo! Thanks for the feedback.

I love salt too. I don't think I crave it more now, since I've always liked it. But I do notice that I tend to put more salt on my food when the flavor is weak. If I double up on the seasonings - like using 2 packets of instant gravy in 1 cup of Water - I don't need the extra salt. 2 weeks ago, I tried reducing my calories by adding more califlower to my diet. I went from eating 1:1 ratio of protein/califlower to 1:2 in favor of more califlower. I think it backfired on me. I didn't stay full as long and was feeling that sense of hunger more often. So I went back to my old ratio and the hunger pangs went away. This week, I am trying a new tactic. I'm eating grilled chicken breasts instead of turkey hamburger or chicken hamburger. I'm trying to see if eating chicken that isn't ground up keeps me full longer. So far it seems to be working.

Thanks for taking the time to read and leave me a comment.

Is that code for: I want to cheat? LMFAO Thanks for that one, I'm writing it down: Self-advancement of diet And yes, I was a self-advancer. I took teeny bites (less than 1/2 teaspoon) of different things to see if my stomach would tolerate them.

Thanks the compliment.

Thanks, but I don't have a lot to write about. It's hard for me to make up funny stuff, but if it really happens to me, I can write about it and try to put a funny twist on it.

Thanks for your comment. Well, to be completely honest, I'm not obsessed with the topic. I just have a boring life, this really happened to me, and I find poo funny. I had to write this post because it was my duty and it was a BIG duty! :-)

Thank you. I got it all worked out. It was a big load off my mind. :-P

Thank you.

Thank you. I tried not to get into TMI but still be funny.

Thanks for the compliment.

I swear that I see my toilet flinch each time I walk past the bathroom door. And I can hear my toilet give off the pitiful wail of a prisoner being tortured in a Medieval dungeon when I sit on the toilet, "Nooooo, nooooo, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just make it stop!" It all started cause I was worried. I hadn't had a decent poop in over 5 days. What little pebbles did come out of me weren't nearly enough to the amount I had consumed. So I was worried. I went online looking for a good tasting, safe, effective, and not too powerful laxative. After all, I didn't want to be like a cartoon character hanging onto hand rails to keep from launching like a rocket off the toilet. Nor did I want to wait 24 hours or more for it to work and get caught too far from the toilet. So I spent an hour or so reading the reviews on natural health forums and it boiled my choices down to Milk of Magnesia or Epsom Salts. I didn't want to drink the salt, so that left Milk of Magnesia. To the Batbuick! I didn't have a secret shaft to slide down, so I had to take the stairs. Na na na na, na na na na. Our hero finds himself standing in Walmart, debating the merits of original flavor or cherry. I chose cherry hoping it would be the least disgusting of the two flavors. My only weakness, bad flavors. I can stop bullets (well, once anyway) but I can't handle the yucky taste of medicine. I made my purchase and raced back to my secret bunker. A detailed analyzation of a sample (I read the label) told me the chemical components of Milk of Magnesia is composed of Magnesium Hydroxide. The instructions said to drink at least 8 oz. per tablespoon taken. I had my trusty Batmug handy, loaded with 30 oz. of Crystal Light lemonade. The adult dosage was 3 to 4 tablespoons for constipation. So of course I took 4. It also said that it was suppose to work within 5 hours. But others had said expect immediate action and not to wander too far from the toilet. So I was prepared to stay around the house for the next 5 or so hours. The taste wasn't quite as bad as the barium the hospital gave me for the leak test, but it was pretty disgusting. 1/2 hour later, nothing. And there I sat, broken hearted, paid 4 bucks and only farted. More or less an hour later I felt the 1st rumblings. 1/2 hour later, time to RELEASE THE KRACKEN! So all in all, it was a smooth move. So smooth in fact that I was worried it was another failure to launch. But when I looked behind me, it was everything I had dreamed a poo could be. Call Guinness, it was a monster. I could fight crime with a poo this big. I'm still working on my superhero name. Captain Poo, Pinch e Loaf a, Sir Bag of Crap, The Brown Stain, Skid Mark, The Brown Eye? Suggestions are welcomed. Alls well that ends well, sort of. I overdosed a little (should have stuck with 2 or 3 tablespoons instead of 4) and everything I ate for the rest of the day passed through my system rapidly. Every 4 or 5 hours, I'd get the urge. Not - EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! - kinda urge, just the sense that I needed to get to the bathroom soon. And I kept drinking as much Crystal Light as I could. Milk of Magnesia's main ingredient pulls water into the intestines and I didn't want to get dehydrated. So if you need to go, as I did, Milk of Magnesia gets a big thumbs up from me. My colon is so clean you could eat off it or fight crime with it, your choice. Just get your own superhero name. Comments and suggestions are welcome. I'm trying to improve my writing. If you liked this post or hated it, please leave a comment.

I hadn't though of the moisture angle. I initially assumed she meant the feeling of breathing in and it feeling like you're not getting any air. When I first put my mask on, if the unit is off, and I breath in, it feels like I have a plastic bag over my head. I suck in, but no air. It is a scary feeling if you're not expecting it. I yanked my mask off the 1st time it happened to me.