fernnicholson

I am starting to get nervous! My surgery is on June 4th and the time is ticking away. I have started the pre-op diet and all I can say is I am hungry and grumpy. I have even resorted to chewing up small bits of food and spitting it out.(I know this is sad) I am hoping this will get easier. I am 32 years old and have decided to make this change for me. I was staring at my 3 year old last October, putting her to sleep, when I realized, I want to be around to see her get married and have children and be able to be in her life. At that moment I started to cry over what I had done to my body. My 3 year old looked up at me and said," don't cry mommy, it will be okay." She is a old soul. I made a vow right then that I would do everything to be around for both my children, my husband, and myself. I wasn't always obese. I was heavier but really toned for most of my childhood and early adulthood( I danced 40-50 hours a week). When I hit 22 I was faced with a life crisis when my ex-boyfriend was in a horrible accident. I chose to stay by his side and for his whole hospital stay(1 year) I stuck by him. This meant no exercise, and constant fast food and cafeteria food. I blossomed from 180 pounds to 290 in a year. I was disgusted with myself. Two years later, we had grown apart and I finally decided I was going to lose the weight. I went to my doctor and he gave me some nice pills and they worked. I lost 90 pounds. I was so happy!!! Then I got off the pills and gained it all back. I am now looking for a permanent solution. I was looking into the Lap Band but after going to a seminar quickly changed my mind. I have several friends who have had this done and they are so happy. I can't wait to feel healthy again. I hate feeling exhausted and disgusting. If anyone has any ideas how to make it through this pre-op diet please feel free to comment. Thank you!!!

4 days to go and op cancelled again for the 3rd time, date now 30th may, really fed up, but trusting in God, dont understand but He is in control so who am i to grumble, in His time, praise the Lord,xx

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!!! ( Picking up mic) I want to take moment and thank God.... LOL!!! No seriously THANK YOU GOD ALMIGHTY!!! I was so worried about complications, infections, leaks and most of all FAILING!! To be at this point right now in my journey, I can safely say I DID IT!!!! I have been the same weight for the past six weeks or so. Going up and down two pounds. But strangely enough I don't care. The scale doesn't bother me. I am content with the way I feel, the way I look and life and general.
 
I WAS OFFERED A NEW POSITION AT WORK AND I AM LOOKING INTO GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!
 
Life is great and amazing and I am living again....
 
next goal: A BABY
 
PS. 1st Pic: on the left was taken Dec 2011. Picture on the right was taken 5/24/13
2nd Pic: Left was taken hours post surgery. Right was taken 5/25/13

feeling really happy and positive, just 3 days and then up early on thursday, to be there for 7.30 am, i am really believing that this will happen now, at last.
I have so many people praying for me, and i am trusting in the Lord, just dont want to receive a phone call from my team, i will be sat waiting and wont move till im sleeved, lol.
I have great support and all the people who have had their op is rooting for me, and will visit me too.
I met my surgeon for the first time last week and he is very friendly and answered my daft questions with much patience.
I am still wanting to eat a big sweet pudding, but not cheating, this means so much to me.
A lady came with a few items of clothing that she has shrunk out off for me, i was really touched, very nice maxi dress, cant wait to shrink into it this summer.
I have no idea what i can expect to loose, but will follow all the rules and do as much as i can to work with my new smaller stomach.
I am so ready for this new beginning, not scared or worried, just peaceful and excited.
Thats it for now, bedtime for me,xx

"Have you ever thought of yourself as small?" The psychiatrist's nose wrinkled and he appeared puzzled - but, not half as puzzled as I was....I'm sitting here before you - getting clearance for bariatric surgery, the sides of your chair are pushing into my thighs, and you have the nerve to ask me "have I ever thought of myself as small!!" Really?
 
Small is definitely a foreign word to me....and going through with Gastric Sleeve Surgery is like traveling to a far off land - Africa, Vietnam....I'm learning the language, the culture...and I'm trying to learn about myself in that land. Thank God for forums like this, that people like me can become more comfortable and at ease with everything about this surgery.
 
Until now, I've known friends that have gone through it - some successful, some not. And, I had the horrible experience of a coworker that actually died a week after the gastric bypass in 2001. So, you can imagine the feedback I've been receiving from the coworkers, that I still work with, when I tell them what I'm going to do! Not the most positive, to say the least!
 
But, after tons of research, and more research, and being told by two doctors that the need for me to do something is greater than the need to not - I am going to do it!
 
So, here I am - 12 weeks out - my surgery is tentatively scheduled for August 19th. But, I'm anxious - I can't wait - and keep eating and eating - until that date. I need to start it now! Each week, I'm going to do something to modify my diet or change my eating patterns, so - the day after surgery, I won't be in some incredible shock. I want to ease into the surgery....
 
Here's the format:
 
May 27, 2013
12 weeks post op -
Current weight: 320.2
Goal weight: 172
Height: 5'10"
 
My weekly diet modifications:
 
Change from regular coffee to half reg/half decaf
Change from regular bread to light bread
Change from potatoes and rice to cottage cheese
 
My weekly behavioral modifications:
 
Eat dinner minus the television - this means, the TV cannot be turned on and I will focus more on the food that I am eating.
 
Pre surgery tasks -
 
No appointments this week, but I do need to complete the exercises for the psychologist's second visit
 
Ok - so there it is - next week, I'll be hopefully reporting a weight loss - maybe one or two pounds...and I'll tell you what's next........

Well after celebrating, what do i do?? BINGE! I still do not understand how my new stomach allows this. Disappointed in myself.

So I started having increasing right side pains that would come and go. Didn't really pay much attention to it until getting ready for bed a few nights ago I was struck with such intense pain I was crying like a baby. It went from my right side to my chest to between my shoulder blades. I'm not a fan of my local ER the best one and the one my wls surgeon is at is 25 miles away (30mins if traffic is good) but I was willing to go local. My first thought was "omg ill feel better if I throw up!" We'll that didn't take long for that to happen but since I hadn't eaten in about 2 hrs I just dry heaved (ouch!) as soon as I convenced my husband lets go I'm dying it disappeared! So he then thought I was crazy. Called my doctor in the morning and a few test later my gallbladder is the culprit. Now yes it was an option to remove with wls surgery but my stupid ins wouldn't cover it because there wasn't a problem with it so now I have to have it out their paying. So Monday it is and I'm so ready because these sporadic attacks hurt!

Ahh, progress. We have a new supermarket in my neighborhood. It is beautiful, brightly lit, with almost anything you could want, from artisan bread to flat screen TVs.
 
And as with all businesses, they are doing everything they can to make the shopping experience as awesome as possible.
 
But they may have jumped the shark on this one:
 
There is automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh and pretty. Just before it goes on, you hear distant thunder and smell fresh rain.
 
When you pass the fruits, you smell fresh cut apples and peaches.
 
When you pass the vegetables, you smell hot buttered corn on the cob.
 
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
 
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and sausages.
 
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
 
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
 
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

I'm happy to say I reached my 100lb mark (second mile stone) in 5 months! I'm comfortable wearing shorts around family which i haven't done it years! I've started couch25K as well. I would have never thought I'd be running! My goal is to run in the color me rad 5k next summer. I'm extremely happy with my success and I hope everyone else is enjoying this tool we've been given!