DeLarla

No waiting here. Not by choice, but gotta keep him happy.

Hmm, don't we all already do this?

Rene, have you seen even one single post by me claiming I'm not greedy? Hands off.

I'm looking for fun adult party game ideas. Nothing complicated, and nothing that takes too long. If you know some, please PM me. Thanks! P.S. Even though they are adult games, I need to explain them at a kid level, so nothing too long or complicated.

I'm doing a hostess party tonight and needed a game to play. I think I'll stop and buy cucumbers and condoms to see who can put one on fastest.

Rene, stay away from Butch. He's mine!

Michelle, thank you for doing my homework. I wanted to see how many people snuck in and read this post but were too chicken to admit it. Hypocrisy, it's overwhelming. But Karen, these are the words that were stuck in my very angry head that I tried saying, so I bow right back at you: Karen said, "People telling you to act like a lady. What? In whose definition!?!?!?! For how long have women been told to be quiet, be subservient, to be what someone else told them to be? I don't believe my suffragette sisters worked so gall durn hard so that in 2005 I could be told what acting like a lady means. To be FORCED to conform to someone else's idea of being a lady...by ANOTHER WOMAN no less. All I can do is shake my head." Bravo. You hit the nail on the head. That has been the driving force between any controversial thread I've either started, participated, or debated in. Too all you peeping Tomettes who check out my dirty little thread in disgust, let's take a look back in history. It wasn't long ago that women weren't allowed to vote. Should we stop voting, too? I hurl at the thought of a government run only by men. Before women had rights, they kept their mouths shut and let men make all the decisions, which left our world a chaotic, depressed, terrorisitic, and violent mess. Male politician dealing with violence: Solution - invent weapons of mass destruction and kill mass quantities of people. Yeah, let's let men tell us how to act! My Grandma & Great Grandma & their sisters fought like hell. Some were killed, many were jailed, countless were shunned from society. Our "Suffragette Sisters," as so eloquently put, put their lives on the line for us. Didn't Christ die on the cross for us? Does anyone have proof? If anyone cares to visit their local library, there's proof that woman made human sacrifices for real! They sacrificed their own lives just so we ladies alive today would be treated as equals. So, after all these years of trying to figure out who God really is, she was apparently a braless chick who died with her ankle chained to a courthouse with a "WOMEN'S RIGHTS" poster in her hand. GOD REALLY IS A GIRL! So why is it acceptable that men scratch their balls in public, oogle at boobs, and get an erection when they see a short skirt, while DeLarla can't talk about self-pleasure? I think this thread answered my alcohol problem. I drink over hypocrisy, and I'm surrounded by it. And I said I'd stay sober for 6 months, but I'm dry heaving over the disgust that there are still women sitting cross-legged in a corner waiting to be told what to do and how to act, and actually obeying. Obey this! **censored censored censored censored!**

Babs, sorry I missed calling you back, but my life took off at full speed lately. Even as I prepped for the bash a friend ended up in the hospital, so we had to drop everything and rush to help him out. Plus my new business, etc. You sound great. Good for you. I bet you'll hit a new all-time low once the swelling goes down. I want my old band habits back. Congrads.

Crystal, I'm still stuck on your signature quote. Yep, I'm thinking you are actually weirder than me. Nana, too. And I thought I had that market. Is Psycho still mine?

I don't suppose I'm allowed to go? Should I mention the $5.00 admission includes all you can eat? Big, deep, sigh... let it go, Lisa. Just let it go.

This is such an exciting thread. No more excuses. I actually learned how to make avatars (finally) so I'm going to pose like Nana and put up something more appropriate for me, like maybe in an Oompa Loompa costume. Now I just have to find an Oompa Loompa costume in a 3X Tall.

Some foxy people here. I don't know why anyone is worried. Get rid of the wreath! We were/are/always will be morbidly obese. I hate my stupid gaps in my teeth, my "deer in the headlights" and "I smell a fart" facial expressions and especially my lazy eye. We all have hang ups. Those in favor of picture avatars won this round, so post up.

Lioness, I'm jealous of your dream. I always wanted to join the military, too. But I felt I was too old, and now I'm married and could never leave my hubby. Go for it, now!

Yikes, the thought of swallowing gum scares me. I had the worse, most horrible PB imaginable from swallowing a cold pill. But even a cold pill can dissolve. Thanks for the gum warning, that's an important one. Good thing it didn't hurt you. Did I say "Yikes?"

Am I the only dummy that doesn't get it, or are you girls actually weirder than me?

Oh, just a few small things like I bought a Harley Davidson then bought my own business, nothing major! Whoopeee, what tricks can I pull out of a hat next?

Michelle, you hold him down, I'll give him his birthday spanking. Baby, 40 is where life begins! Congrads, and have a fantasic birthday! Now I have to call my aunt and wish her a happy one or I'll be in the dog house.

I'm sure it's all been answered, but here's my input. In US you need to be 100 pounds overweight or have a high BMI (I believe the FDS makes that rule.) Since you said you had no-comorbities, that won't play a factor. 2) The band will restrict the amount you can eat, so the average person loses 1/2 of the weight they need to lose. The rest has to come off with diet and exercise (in many cases, like mine.) I'm still obese and need to lose 60 pounds, but I lost 60. Losing 60 gave me life. 3) If you count calories for a day, you'll see that it takes very little food to maintain a normal weight. Normies have better metabolisms and burn stuff away, so they can afford some goodies. With me, my body is so used to being overweight that even a few treats throw me off. It sucks, trust me, I'm living it. In order to lose any more weight, it takes very small healthy meals and very few nibbles of goodies. I haven't been able to do that lately. 4) They say the band is meant to be permanent. Is that true? I'm not sure. I heard on person say their doc is letting them have the band for 4 years, and by then your eating habits are set, and then they take it out, but nobody confirmed it. That was a French band. 5) If so, then after you reach your goal weight, do you still have to go the band doctor regularly for the rest of your life, inflating and deflating it? Or you can forget about the band once you get your desired weight and not see the doctor again. You always need to see a doc ater banded on a regular basis. Even if you feel great, you need to get an annual endoscopy and an occasional Upper GI. There can be no symptoms for erosion. Many people get to the right spot of feeling good restriction, but everyone keeps seeing their band doc for one reason or another. 6) Once you get used to the band, do you feel a weird object inside forever (the band), or you get used to it? I mean can you go for a week without thinking about the band? Hmmm, sometimes I forget it, other times it's always there. You never feel the way you used to. Gurgling noises, different sensations. 7) How many fills do you need to lose weight? is there a maximum number you can not exceed? And if yes, then what do you do after you reach your maximum fills? Everybody is different. Some lost huge amounts before getting a fill. Two people of the same weight can get the same band and the same fill. One will be too tight, the other could add more saline. Don't let anyone tell you differently. All surgeons approach fills differently. Some docs give you a little at a time to sneak up on eventual restriction, others give you a large fill right away. 8) All of my life, I’ve been so hateful to my extra weight, and one of my dreams is to lose weight? So do you think the band is my best bet, or there are any other alternatives you suggest? I suggest diet and exercise first. If you can do it alone, there's no need for surgical intervention. Try OA meetings, try all other means first. Any surgery should be a last resort. Thanks a lot guys for your time and help, and sorry for the extra long email, it is just that I want to lose weight very bad, still I’m very afraid from such a big decision. Thanks a lot for your help and nice to meet you in advance,

OMG, look at my big ol' belly hanging over like a TRUE biker babe!

Jessie, if someone else hasn't done it, I'll see if I can from my home puter. You're a cutie, too! I love all the new avatars... just wish they could be a lil bigger.

What Michelle said is exactly why I'm thrilled to be in this business. I've had 2 women call me in happy tears the day after a party because of their newfound intimacy. Another girl (co-worker) made her husband so happy that he agreed to paint their house so she can hostess a party. My marriage is perfect now, huge improvement, because I'm no longer stressed out about our future. I have my own "baby" now to play with, and it's very satifying (not to mention the goodies.) As far as my website, it wasn't mandatory. I had to pay for it - and I did so because some people are even too shy to talk to me. It's my site, but the webmaster controls the orders, which means even I can't see what people order. Michelle, thanks for all your support. Now it's 3 p.m. carbo-crash time and all I can think about are cookies. Thanks, Kel.

Paula, it's responses like that that help me decide in my belief system and make me think. Very good answer, you win a Pleasure Wipe (mango scented with Vitamin E, nothing sexy.) I don't disbelieve in God, and I don't want people to change their avatars. I was just making a point. Sure, a little strong, but that's me! A guy, Ben, used to work here and preach his Mormon values in my face. We were both happily married but had a very intimate bond since we share the same birthday. I'd shock him, then he'd spank me with his bible (I'm laughing alone, there was nothing sexual about our relationship.) One day I asked him, "Ben, what if you get to the other side to find nothing, and then you realize you wasted your whole life believing in a fairy tale?" His response warms my heart till this day. He said, "then I'll have lived the best life possible and I will die happy for being what I was." I actually admire people who are spiritually strong, and I have NEVER been offended by anyone's God-Talk except one girl who doesn't belong to LBT. My ex-sister-in-law shoves her brand of God down everyone's throat beyond imagination till everyone in the room is fighting. Paula and Kelly, you gals have to keep your faith strong and healthy, and speak of it often, even here. My whole point was that we can all talk about what makes us happy without hypocrisy. Damn, I ran out of profound thought but I really want to keep this topic going. Can anyone think of something shocking to say? xoxo I adore you people. P.S. I suck at selling. I should have used the Decadent Indulgence for my example since it's the most expensive toy. Plug plug plug. Also, go see Kelly's goodies cuz I bought her stuff off LBT, shhhhh. Plug plug plug for Kel. Ducking.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the whole bible story start with a couple naked hippies running around a garden? I start these hot topics because I'm attracted to intelligence. I know the smart ones will have good stuff to say. Keep 'em coming!

"I personally have a strong faith in a higher power. NO that doesn't mean a larger battery. LOL!!!" That one has me crying n' snorting, followed by Paula, so I'll be laughing all day. Penni, maybe it's not pretty, but OMG! See, I do believe in God! Sometimes he really pisses me off but he's a fair, understanding dude that understands my anger. He's also damn funny. I was baptized Catholic, but there are too many obvious flaws and hypocrisies in Catholicism, so I pray to a knock-off version, DeLarlaism. The bible and all it states is too contradictory for a wise old gal like me. I'm supposed to believe God created everything including my mind and mouth, but I'm not allowed my own analysis and conclusions or use of my brain and voice that he so generously gifted me with? Sorry, I don't buy it. Not my God. He spoke and said, "De, I made you smarter and quirkier than some folks and I'd be damned disappointed if you didn't use the gifts I gave you to show people a better path." Now that I've turned this into a God debate, can someone explain why he doesn't want us using vibrators? Or does the bible say we can use them but we can't talk about them? The bible doesn't say we can use microwaves or walk on the moon, so why are those topics safe? Your turn.

Wow, this is cool! I won, I finally won!