DeLarla

Name each one.

Get on your bikes and ride! I guess the only way I'll ever get on Girls Gone Wild is if I start singing the stong. Thanks Queen, gotta get my butt movin.

Oh, did I forget to tell you that I now weigh like 95 poudns? Boy, if I could look like that girl I'd be in major trouble. Sometimes I think God wants me fat because he knows I'd be a damn slut if I were skinny. DeLARLA! BE A LADY. Oh, shut up, Lisa. YOU WHORE. You bore! I can't believe you. I can't believe YOU, have some fun. YOU HAVE TOO MUCH FUN. Shut up. NO, you shut up.

Yep, I'm sending back one of my corsets today and trading in for all these boycut panties. I usually hate the boycuts, but these have enough lycra on the bottom to hug my bootie I should start another XXXXXXXX rated thread for the things my husband expects out of me in that corset. Hut he said he should pre-register at the sex clinic since he knows his $%@#$% is going to hurt by the end of the weekend!

Are You Back Yet?

Today is very sad. My birthday is over, and I'm a commoner again. Did I listen to the good advice about only one piece of cake, or using a vibe instead of food? Noooo. Now my belly is quite not-happy. I had the creamiest Italian food (extra parm.) Stopped at 2 glasses White Zin but then some men bought me another even when I was with Chris! I told everyone I was 34 and they all bought it, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Happy birthday to the 30 year OLD man! What's an AARP catalog, and should I order one now that I'm 34 again?

LOVEFIFI.COM Who said that? So, I went to lovefifi.com to do some "fantasy shopping." I was just clicking on anything that sounded marvelous. Then I entered my credit card information and assumed I would see a confirmation page. But there was no such page, so I accidentally charged $300.00 in underwear! I got the order yesterday. Only a dork like me would order 2 purple corsets (considering I don't know what the hell to do with one.) I have purple corsets, fishnets in purple and black, pasty things for over my nipples. I'm returning one corset and exchanging for these FABULOUS panties that I'm wearing today. They are shiney lycra with lace, kind of a sexy boyshort. I'm getting them in every color. So thank you all for your honesty. This thread should be a sticky so we are reminded on a daily basis to love ourselves and allow yummy hot sexy panties to rule our wardrobe. Today I threw away every last pair of uglies. Nothing but fancy pants in my panty drawer now!

Okay, who really does like a good spanking? I only got "spanked" once, many moons ago. At first I almost punched the guy in the face, but I eventually ended up marrying the pervert. I guess the best thing about today is that my father (alcoholic asshole absent pig man) called. It was about the nicest talk we've ever had, and probably the only one where we didn't fight. I didn't even meet him till I was 18. Control freak male chauvinistic, racist, judgmental bastard. I even confessed that I'm selling adult items now. I figured I'd just get the insulting and bashing over with, but the guy actually supported me since the money is coming in. If I could just hold my breath and not let him get to me, I could be fishing in the Keys next week. Now that he's inbetween girlfriends (friggen blue eyed playboy even at his age) he has time for me. I'm checking flights while the vibes are good! Key Largo is dreamy, and he's got 3 boats, a glass bottom paddle boat, lives on a Water canal, toys galor, takes me DANCING at night on the boat to the Carribean Club. Yep, time to grind my teeth and visit him, right? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, the world's biggest ham. By the way, you guys must know by now that I despise Christmas, Easter, etc., right? I like the religious and family parts, but hate the decorating and commercial parts. So I rarely celebrate. But birthdays are special and wonderful. I always felt lonely and sorry for myself on my birthdays till I hit 40, then I decided to make my own damn parties! Ever since then, I'm having a blast. So, next time it's your birthday, don't sit around waiting for any to plan stuff. Go shopping, make reservations, have a party in your own honor. Once a year, it's the only day we are special. Oh, I'm rambling cause I could just hug and squeeze and kiss you all right on the lips with huge smooches. This is so, so nice. Thanks again.

Hey Michelle, next Bash we're taking time to ride to Red Rock to hunt down that hunk above. I know those mountains from anywhere! That's Red Rock Canyon about 20 minutes from the Love Shack (my place.) I LOVE YOU GUYS. And I'm not even slobbering drunk. This is a whole party right here in this little thread. Okay, everyone visit my site now. EVIL GRIN ))

I've had tons of surgery. It's my hobby. Not by choice, but the Band was one of the easier ones. Just take it really easy and let the whole kaboodle heal really well before doing cartwheels. See you on the banded side.

P.S. This is a really LAME time for this super-tight restriction. Dear Band Goddess, please don't make me PB my cake.

Well there goes my mascara. Oh yeah, I'm not wearing any so I can just sit here sobbing! Did I mention that permanent make up rocks that way? This is such a treasure... thanks you guys. I'm kinda getting speechlessy here. I gotta tell you one of the underwear items is a purple corset, too expensive, completely unnecessary, and impossible to get into. So since I was being ridiculous anyway, I figured, "What the hay" and got the fishnets in purple and black! I'm gonna eat a hunk of fudgey gooey cake now, for tomorrow I shall diet (yeah, sure.)

I'm more prone to addiction than normal folk since I have loonies in the family gene pool. I laugh about it, but there's truth to genetics. For me, you may as well ask me to turn my eyes into pumpkins, because breaking habits is harder, band or no band. I'm the weirdo of the bunch though, so most people find it easier.

Anybody that loves farm animals is OKAY by me! Does this mean you'll have a yard full of peeps? Please don't say, "no, but we'll be eating omlettes."

P.S. While I'm hamming it up, I just got more roses from my brother n' sister. Even my father called me this morning, clunk, just fainted. Even my mother sent me a card with $$ in it... weird. There's hope for us yet.

OMG, you guys rock my world! It IS a very, very fabulous birthday even though I got stuck in a conference room with the enemy all morning (plaintiff's counsel, work junk.) Right in the middle of this ultra serious conference about a case going to trial soon, my hubby walked in with a cake, presents, flowers. HAH, take that to court! So it turned the meeting a little fun, I mean who can be mean to a birthday girl holding presents? Thank you guys all so much... this is super special to me. I spend more time at LBT than with my blood relatives, so this is like a family party right here in my pants. Oops, did I say that? Okay, so far for my birthday: I spent $300 on new underwear at Lovefifi.com (thanks to the posting in my underwear thread.) That means I'm wearing boocoo (beauxcoux, beucoux, bewcew?) sexy panties. Then I splurged a lil at Nordstrom. Then I bought tickets to WE WILL ROCK YOU, the totally hot rock n' roll musical to the songs of Queen at the Paris. Then hubby gave me enormous roses, a beautiful heart bracelet, new gold charms for my charm bracelet and a gold heart locket (sniff.) Plus he built my fence after 2 years of nagging and we're having a romantic dinner at a fancy Italian joint. My little brother (not Lance, but his best friend that's like my bro) is coming this weekend plus my Slumber Sisters & biker buds doing a BBQ thingy to Celebrate the birth of my new fence (did I mention how bad I wanted this fence?) So, life is grand. Chris had Voodoo, Sachi and Kitty Milo put pink paw prints on my card. Can it get any better? Thank you all so much... Did I see two birthday threads? HAM, WHO, ME?????????

Yeah, whoda thunk? they didn't say how long it would take, but it's only been a couple weeks and I'm already moving easier. He made me stand up straight, but my booty kinda stuck out with my back swayed. That sway comes from lack of belly muscle. Sometimes the easiest answers are right under our nose. I sure hope my belly goes away some. That's my worst thing - that flabby belly!

Pam, sometimes I just can't find the right word, so quiggle kinda covered it. Kinda like quiver and wiggle all in one. Quiggle - what happens to girl parts when yummie guys make you QUIGGLE.

Leatha, thanks for starting this. I didn't know she was in the middle of all that, and I hope we hear from her soon. Kellymoose, too. Anyone else?

Sarah, giddy and girly is one of the best feelings in the world. As far as setting a date, the faster you set it, the faster this whirlwind of excitement and engagment will come to an end. Let it last, take your time. Being engaged is such a thrill. I think I'll divorce Chris just so we can get engaged again

Marie, I don't care where you get your Coochie, just try it as cream rinse and write back when your hair is dry for an update. And while I'm at it, some girls bought Pheromones, too. Not only does it have powers to draw people to you sexually, but it contains lots of herbs that are known to calm the nerves and boost your mood. Maybe that's why I'm so happy lately?

Pea, I missed the whole Polak discussion till just now. I'm proud of my heritage. I come from a long line of strong, hard working people that came to America, learned the language, got jobs, bought land and flourished. My "Polak" grandmother owns 6 homes, my Polak father lives on the water in Key Largo, and my Polak mother is a Polak millionaire. Let them laugh! As far as COOCHIE, my hair has been awful since dying it blonde. I've had Coochie by the case in my house but didn't learn about the cream rinse thing till last night. A little Coochie goes a long way! I'm also a huge fan of Nympho Niagra. I'm just getting around to sampling some of my own goodies, and I'm very impressed. A few girls got some of my Bosom Buddies, too. Put that in the microwave for a few seconds, then pour on feet and wrap in plastic for an amazing sauna treatment. I'm still having a blast. And now we have a bachelorette in the room (sorry, I prolly spelt that rong to.)

Any time I hear Bruce Springstein sing, my girl parts quiggle.

I gave out samples of Coochie Shave Cream at the Bash. I was reading the list of ingredients and other information from Slumber Parties, and I learned it can also be used as a cream rinse. I used it this morning, and it brought my dull, lifeless, color-damaged hair back to life! Girls, put some Coochie in your hair!

Last year I fell off a motorcycle and I've felt like a train wreck since. I've been going to chiroprators and physical therapists, but one therapist FINALLY came up with a solution based on simple common sense. Why didn't any of my docs or other therpists figure it out? He said after going through weight loss surgery plus all my complications, I stopped using my abdominal muscles, so they were really weak and therefore not supporting my lower back. I've been doing ab exercises, but I've been doing them wrong by trying to target my lower belly, which was just hurting my back more. Now he's got me doing crunches laying on the floor with my legs propped up on the bed (in an "L" with butt pressed against the bed.) This position forces the lower back into the floor, and I concentrate on pulling my belly button into the floor while rising and holding for 10 seconds. I couldn't do them at first, but now I'm really crunching and burning, and my back is finally feeling better. This position concentrates on the top section (rib cage area,) and he said once that area gets stronger, my lower abs will follow. I never expect flat abs, but my back pain is actually going away.