makemyownluck

I'm sorry I wasn't clear! Let me try to explain... When I say Obamacare, what I mean really are the new insurance rules, not really a specific plan. Once the new rules go into effect, private insurers won't be allowed to decline anyone coverage. They won't be able to exclude coverage for ongoing medical conditions (meaning, you can't have a rider to your contract saying they won't pay for anything related to, say, a joint replacement you've had, for example) and they won't be allowed to set pre-existing condition limitations on the plans. Also, there will be minimum required coverage - for example, preventative care, check ups, mammograms, pap tests, etc. So, what I mean is that RIGHT NOW - most people with recent WLS won't qualify for insurance with MAJOR carriers. Are there companies that will cover you? Sure, but they have limited benefits, lower payment cut offs, higher deductibles and smaller participating provider networks. However, the rules change starting January 1st, which means they will start opening enrollment for the new plans in October. That will be the prime time to apply for coverage - these companies will all want as many subscribers as they can get. As the consumer, you won't have a lot of the hassles that many people experience when applying for private insurance now. I'm an underwriter for individual plans, so I'm the person behind the scenes who is making you do phone interviews, submit medical records, get a current check-up, etc. I totally understand how infuriatingly frustrating getting private coverage can be. The new rules will help an enormous amount of people, and I'm really glad to see the changes!! I hope that helps. If you have any other questions, I'll try my best to answer them! :)

Thanks for the rational thinking, everyone. It's really hard to put things in perspective when you're in the midst of an argument, so I do appreciate you all for both seeing where I'm coming from and offering practical advice for the situation. Now that I've slept on it, I realize we are both super anxious about what is happening. I'll do what I have to do to make sure my mom can be there for the surgery and hope that insurance doesn't force me to push it back. I've never been a patient person - I'm impatient to a FAULT most times, and this is a prime example. Does putting it back a week or two make a big difference? No, not really. I'm just, as usual, eager to do it as quickly as possible. I mean, if I've been going through these steps since July, a few more weeks isn't that big of a deal... (that's me rationalizing this to MYSELF, lol) I'm going to call my insurance and make sure they have they got my request from the surgeon. So at least I can have some peace of mind that we're moving forward in some way. Then I'll call my mom and apologize for being a monster and hope she can do the same (I wasn't the only one yelling, after all). I also realized that my surgery is on a Thursday and my surgeon said I'd probably be in for 2 nights. So that means I'll get discharged on a Saturday. So, if for some reason I can't get a ride from my parents, finding a friend who can pick me up shouldn't be as difficult as I was imagining. It's also good to know that I won't really need the help once I'm discharged. I'd really rather be at home anyway, so maybe I can reassure my mom that I won't be totally helpless if she has other things to do. I do understand that she has a life of her own and she needs to go on these trips in May so she'll know how to do her job. I don't fault her for that. And I don't want her to think she's failing me because she can't be at my bedside 24/7, especially when I don't really NEED her to be there. While it's convenient to have help, I will be able to do it on my own. Thanks so much for the feedback, guys. I appreciate it!

Thanks mokee. I've been most nervous about being alone and having some sort of accident. I didn't want to really spend more than a few nights at their house anyway (I much prefer my own home), I'm really most concerned with the ride home. The hospital specifically told me they will NOT release me without someone to take me home. Can't go home in a cab - must have someone present to escort me home. And since discharge is in late morning/early afternoon, everyone I know will be at work. Just trying to think who I should ask, is all... disappointed that I'm having such drama with my mom when I'm finally getting close to what she knows I've been working for since last year. :/ But I'll figure it out. I always do!

Melissa, you think I went to the trouble of responding that in depth to give misinformation? Furthermore, you think she needs advice from a stranger to do her own research? Take your advice, but not that from someone who actually knows something about it, huh? Great advice. Sheesh. With that attitude, why would you even join a community like this? Sweetcurves, if you need any other info, feel free to inbox me.

Well, that was incredibly helpful, Melissa. I live alone. I'm in my 30s. What this has to do with my post, I'm not sure. I'm not postponing my plans. I know I'll be able to walk and stuff. I was just counting on the help. And now I don't have it. It's frustrating and taxing to go through the stress with my mom. I know I'm selfish. If I don't put me first, who else will?

I'm gonna assume you're in the US... Most Blue Cross plans will decline you for any WLS in the last 3 years. After that, they may cover you, but you'll have to pay more money. Aetna will decline you for 5 years. Cigna is the most lenient, but I think even they decline for surgery within 2 years. I work for a third party vendor, as an underwriter, so I'm quite familiar with what they look for. You have to be a certain number of years our from surgery (as stated above), have a physical with blood work within 6-12 months and they will want to see a recent CBC and b-12 level. You will also have to be stable at your weight for at least a year. And your current BMI can't be over 32 (sometimes less, varies by carrier). A lot of these plans will max rate you for this history, so if you have any other medical issues or medications that you use, that could put you over the edge to be a decline. For example, if your surgery was just outside the "decline" period and your current BMI would require a rating also, you'd be declined. If you're still treating co-morbid conditions, you would be declined... Also, if you were ever a diabetic on insulin, they will never cover you. Even on oral meds, diabetics are rarely eligible for insurance coverage. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer about it, but you asked! Truth of the matter is, insurance companies want to insure healthy people. Plain and simple, as an underwriter, my job is to reject high risk applicants, and WLS patients are considered high risk... especially since most WLS are either lap band (which require frequent visits for adjustments) or RNY (which those patients have Vitamin deficiencies and such years after surgery). They group all WLS together, so they really don't consider that sleeve patients don't have the same ongoing care issues that lap band patients and RNY patients do. It's not fair, by any means, I'm just telling you how the insurance companies see it. However, starting in October, you can apply for the Obamacare plans, and they can't decline you. If I were you, I'd start with Cigna (if it's available in your state), I find they are the most lenient. The best advice I can give is to elect the COBRA coverage. It's expensive, yes, but you won't have to worry about being covered. It's only 6 months until you can apply for the Obamacare plans, and they are guarantee issue policies. Good luck to you!

sorry!! It worked for me also, but I'm on a PC/laptop, not a tab/ipad. I'm glad you figured it out anyway.

Well, after all this hoop jumping, I'm finally scheduled for May 2nd surgery. It's all tentative pending the insurance approval, of course. I should be jumping for joy, right? Unfortunately, no. My support system through this whole process has been my parents. I've been counting on my mom to help take care of me the first few days home. Well, Friday when we were at the surgeons office, the fight of the century started... The doctor answered our questions then advised that one of his assistants would be back in shortly with my surgery date. As soon as he left the room, my mom tells me that if it's the last week of the month, we have to ask them to push it back because she has work-related things to do at the end of every month. She works for the housing authority and end of the month is their check run, so it can NOT be postponed. I told her that I didn't want to push it back, and that I didn't want to start an argument about it when we didn't even know the date they would give me yet. She persisted, telling me that I just can't do it if it's the last week of the month. Again, I told her to stop, wait to see what day they actually give me. So, to my relief, they come in and say that the end of April is pretty booked, so they gave me May 2nd. I was kinda hoping to have it sooner, but it works out in the long run, so whatever. Well, today Mom calls me after work. She says that she's been thinking about my surgery date and that if it ends up getting postponed because of insurance reasons, that I need them to schedule it for mid-May because the 2nd week of May she has 2 training sessions for work that she has to travel for. I told her again that I have no interest in postponing this because of her work schedule, and this is where that ticking time bomb EXPLODED. My mom went into this whole speech about how I'm completely selfish. That putting it off a few weeks wasn't going to kill me. I tried reminding her again that she's arguing about something that we don't even know is going to happen (i.e. my surgery date being pushed back). I also told her that I really resented her putting it back on me that I'M the selfish one, when she's asking me to postpone this surgery over and over because of things SHE has to do. I've been jumping through every imaginable hoop to get this surgery scheduled since July of last year and she can't seem to understand that I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE. I don't care what I might miss at my OWN JOB while I'm out for surgery, much less do I care what she might miss at work. I just don't. And if that makes me selfish, then I'm totally okay with being selfish. After all, this surgery IS FOR ME. Not her. Not anyone else. FOR ME. I even told her that I didn't mind that she had work related stuff to do. If she really had to go, then she should go. Dad can come with me. "Do you really think he wants to do that by himself?" she asked. "You expect me to concentrate on my training while you're under the knife?" "What if something happens to you and I'm 3 hours away and can't leave because I'm there with coworkers and have no way back to town?" "I'm supposed to ignore the fact that you're having surgery? What if you die?" She actually asked me that. "What if you die and I'm that far from home?" I said, well, gee, Ma, I'll try my best not to DIE, okay? I offered that my dad could take me and/or pick me up from the hospital. She said, "Yeah, Saint Roger isn't going to say no to you..." as if I'm supposed to feel guilty because my dad would do anything for me? Unlike her??? Things got pretty heated in our conversation, and in fact she hung up on me twice throughout it. We're both pretty well versed at getting under each other's skin. Finally, I just told her "Thanks for giving me a month to figure out a Plan B, at least." So then she calls me about a half hour later saying, "So are you going with a plan B even if your surgery date is still May 2nd?" And I told her that I guess I don't have a choice! She's going out of town 5 days after my surgery, so how the heck am I supposed to count on her to take care of me if she's out of town??? She's not considering my needs AT ALL and then turns around and calls ME the selfish one!! I am literally sick to my stomach over the stress of this. I've been crying for hours since this argument took place and it's not even so much because of the argument (sadly, I'm used to it - the whole thing reminded me of high school years all over again) - it's because I DON'T HAVE A PLAN B. I don't have anyone else in my life that I can ask to take care of me. And the way my mom has been acting honestly makes me cringe at the idea of how she's gonna be when I am post-op and hurting. So if I rely on Dad to be Plan B, that means she's gonna be around (when she isn't tied up with work). Can I even rely on her to be helpful post-op? Or is she just going to be a thorn in my side? At this point, I just don't even know what to do. I'm writing this more as a rant, not really expecting anyone to have advice for how to deal with some craziness like this... just had to vent it out. I'm gonna go see if I can dig up some Xanax to help me sleep tonight. I'm wound pretty tight at the moment... I hate Mondays.

definitely if you're in the US, you're covered by FMLA. You have 12 weeks per year that you can use for medical related absences. Talk to HR about it. You don't have to disclose what you are taking time off for, you just have to get your surgeon to fill out the paperwork and your job is protected by federal law. good luck!

http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ that's the site I use. We use it at work too. It's the National Health Institute site. My BMI started at 60 and is now in the 50s... don't sweat it. You're on track to bring it down, and that's what matters!

Fingers crossed for a successful surgery and speedy recovery!

You absolutely CAN have a baby post-WLS. I'm surprised a nurse would tell you otherwise!! Also, I work as a medical underwriter, so I've seen the horror stories of people post-WLS, and that hasn't discouraged me. Complications are possible with ANY surgery, even routine appendectomies and gall bladder surgeries. It's just a fact. Can something terrible happen to you, of course. But statistics show that YOU WILL BE FINE. I've been lucky - my parents have been super supportive. If I were in your position, I'd thank them for their concern, but remind them that you're an adult. You aren't asking for their permission. You aren't required to take their advice. It's your life, and as people who have never had to deal with weight issues like you have, they can't possibly understand where you're coming from, period. And if they can't get behind you after that, then let them know that YOU are disappointed with the fact that YOUR OWN FAMILY can't be supportive to you in this endeavor. You shouldn't be shamed into taking their advice to wait, and it's kind of insulting that they don't believe you've done your research or aren't capable of making your own choices. I'm really sorry you've had this reaction. The more I read these boards, the more thankful I am to have the loving support of my parents and the select few friends I've told. Anyone whose reaction I'm not sure of isn't getting told about this. Especially before surgery. Maybe if people ask how I've lost so much weight, I'll tell them - but even then, not everyone is entitled to know my business. Good luck to you. I really recommend having a frank discussion with your family about how they have made you feel. If they have no concern about making you feel terrible, then don't worry about hurting their feelings by telling them the truth about how their behavior has affected you for your entire life. It's really shameful that they can't see they are hurting you in the process of being "helpful". Don't let naysayers get you down!

Great progress!!! Congrats on the loss, the hard work is paying off!!

Protein also helps your body recover and helps your wounds heal. If you don't get enough protein, you'll also have hair loss and your skin and nails will deteriorate. I'm pre-op, so IDK personally about what a struggle it is to get all the protein you need in. But it's so very necessary for your health, try just getting in a bit more every day! I'm sorry you're not feeling well.... stay hydrated and get that protein in, it really will help!! (((HUG)))

AGREE about 1/2 the world sees a therapist and the other 1/2 needs to! lol I just wanted to add that I was able to get Zoloft from my PCP years ago. He also gave me a temporary script for Alprazolam when I had some anxiety/depression after the deaths of a few people in my life. I think if you have a good relationship with your PCP, he/she won't have a problem giving you some low-dose, mild meds. Unless the MD sees signs of a more significant problem, they'll likely give you the meds you need without requiring that you see a therapist. Tho, I think therapy might be a good idea for all of us. Let's face it, we're making huge adjustments in our life, and it can be overwhelming. It's not everyone's cup of tea, tho, and sometimes we just don't have the time. It's worth making time for, IMO. Mental health is just as important (if not moreso) than physical health. In the meantime, start with your PCP. Hopefully, you have a PCP that you know and trust, and they can make sure you get the help you need.

I don't start my liquid diet til mid-April and I'm (kinda)dreading that more than the surgery itself! As Laura said, you definitely don't want to do anything that will prevent them from doing the surgery. Try to find lots of things to keep you busy so you aren't thinking about eating. Go for a walk, make phone calls, hit the gym, read a book, clean the house, organize your closet... anything to occupy your mind. Easier said than done, I'm sure. But remember that you can have things like shakes and broth and Jello -- review the list of things you ARE allowed to have on the liquid diet and try them all. The variety might make up for the absence of actual food to chew on. Maybe. Good luck!!!

According to WebMD : http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/antidepressants-weight-gain?page=2 Wellbutrin can cause weight LOSS. It's also used for people to quit smoking. It's well tolerated by most people and a very mild med. Honestly, this is what I'll be trying. (I'm still pre-op, but I anticipate this being an issues because I already have some mood swings that I know will likely increase after surgery) Others to consider: Effexor and Zoloft - they don't typically cause weight gain. They are also both mild meds and easily tolerated. I took Zoloft years ago, and it was helpful, but during the first 2 weeks on it, I had the WEIRDEST dreams/nightmares. But once the med was built up in my body, I was fine. One to avoid: Paxil. Seems to cause the most weight gain. Also, meds that are also used for more severe mental disorders :Lithium, Abilify, Zyprexa - these can have major side effects, effect your blood sugar and cause weight gain. Avoid these, unless you have some severe symptoms of anxiety/depression. As far as how you're feeling with snapping at people and needing your personal space, a fast-acting anti-anxiety med like Lorazepam or Alprazolam (Ativan and Xanax) are good for using as needed. They are also more likely to cause a dependence, so your MD would give you a really low dose and expect you to use it maybe 2-3x/wk AT MOST. And using these in conjunction with a daily anti-depressant will help with the side effects of starting the daily anti-depressant, and when the daily med gets built up in your system, you'll need the Lorazepam or Alprazolam less and less, until, ideally, you won't need those at all and can maintain on the daily med alone. With any anti-depressant, make sure you talk to your doctor before discontinuing. MOST meds require a tapering dose before discontinuing them. You could really put yourself through the ringer if you stop cold turkey. Hope that helps! Definitely talk to your MD about it, there's NO REASON anyone should suffer mood swings like this. Good luck to you!

hi Sherrie! To add a ticker: click your username at the top right and the menu will pop up. Go to "My Tickers". If you haven't already created one, create one. You can choose what it looks like and what it's tracking "actual weight, BMI, body fat, or even countdown to a specific date, if you want) Once it's done, there will be an option to "Add to my signature" and it will automatically add to the bottom of your signature. You can create multiple tickers. You decide which ones you want in the signature. If you want to move it to a different part of your signature (like mine, I didn't want it at the bottom), from settings go to My Profile, click "Edit Profile" and on the left you'll see 'Signature'. Click that and you can edit the signature. Your ticker is coded in brackets that start 'sharedmedia' so you can just cut/paste that where ever you want it to show in your signature. You can then update the ticker whenever you need to by going back into "My Tickers", click "Edit Ticker" and click "4. Properties" and change the value of your current weight. Save that and the ticker will automatically update in your signature. It may sound like a lot of steps, but really, once you create it and add it to your signature, it's just a matter up updating the properties to show your progress. Hope that helps!

I've never been a cool kid, so I can't really tell ya if you're in their group or not.

Protein shots aren't good, according to my NUT anyway. perhaps you're feeling nauseous because you're chugging them down? drinking too fast, maybe?

Honesty is best, and also hardest. Better to be honest now than trying to maintain some lie. If he's a quality human being, he'll be supportive. If he's not, then you don't need him around anyway, right?

fair enough. to lighten my own mood:

what's up bro - not disrespectful cool story, bro - condescending and disrespectful. No one was complaining about "what's up bro". The comment was "cool story, bro" and it is disrespectful. At least in America, but I can't imagine it's a positive remark in NZ, either.

uhhh.. I'm outside Chicago bigfrank, i wanna come get somma dat chicken!

yayyyyy, congrats!! I just had my 2nd consult with the surgeon yesterday and I'm scheduled for May 2nd. I've been doing the happy dance since I left his office. I keep saying, "I can't believe this is actually gonna happen!!!" EEK!!