shellbell125

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

@@Babbs
Do you think if you had met your husband at 235 instead of 145 he would still be with you? When you love someone you are willing to overlook the flaws that later develop, but when you meet someone for the first time without the benefit of already loving them, all the little things do matter and do limit your potential for dating. The guy I was dating was my friend first, so when he found out about all of my scars he never once said anything bad about them because he already cared about me as a person. If I had opened with...hey there, I have scars all over my body, you want to take me to dinner? I sincerely doubt the result would have been the same.
I am happy for you that you have such a great guy in your life, but let's be honest...if he didn't already love you for who you are, would he have given the 235 pound version of you a second glance?
As much as we want to say that appearances don't matter...in the initial impression, that point that gets you to the first date, the first anniversary, and to the 20th anniversary, if you aren't something someone wants to look at, there is a very slim chance they are ever going to get to know all of the other wonderful things about you. Size matters...(in all aspects of the word, lol) and as much as we want to tell ourselves that it is the inner beauty that matters, it is outer beauty that gets you through the door- inner beauty just keeps you there.

So, I'm actually two days late posting this because I thought my first plastics surgiversary was next week. I had a breast lift/augment and abdominoplasty done on 8/20/14 and this was my first and favorite of the three plastics surgeries that I had over the last year. I was always a chubby kid so never in my life have I had a flat stomach- there was always this little fat roll (or a big fat roll or rolls depending on my weight). Now that I am at a year, all of the swelling is gone. I'm a little over 5 months out from my last surgery, so I know what my final result is and I look like a very different person. I can wear tight clothing, because there's no skin or fat to be pinched and I can feel like I really look like a normal person now, instead of a fatty or a former fatty.
Also, when the first boyfriend I have had in a very long time decided to be a complete tool this week, I had no problem walking away. I didn't date anyone while I was really fat, but even when I was a little larger (145-160ish) and I was younger, I always believed that I wasn't good enough because I was fat, I was saggy, and I was someone that no one would ever be proud of being seen with. In the end any relationship that failed was because I was worthless, because on the outside I was ugly. I feel shallow saying that the sleeve and plastic surgery corrected that, but to a certain extent it did. I'm still self conscious about my brachioplasty scars and part of me wonders if when his friends saw my arm scars they made fun of him and that's why he was awful to me....but I think that's just me being paranoid. Even if it isn't being paranoid, the scars are way better than the old wings and I am working on accepting that.
I am 126 pounds on most days, I wear a size 0-2 pants and xs dresses and shirts, I have no health issues, I am athletic, I am completely self-sufficient and I do well, I have nice homes and nice cars, I have a high IQ, a doctorate level of education, and I am, I believe, a person who is mostly kind and of some value to the world....and a guy was still mean to me. Before I would have said, well duh, it's because you're fat, you're saggy, and you're embarrassing to be seen with, and I would have discounted all of the good things about me purely because on the outside I was worthless. Now I can say...well, sucks for him. For the first time in my life the end of a relationship doesn't mean I wasn't good enough because of what I look like...and the 20K I paid for my sleeve and the 40K I paid for plastics end up being priceless, because not seeing myself as worthless on the outside, has done really good things for not feeling like I'm worthless on the inside.
So...happy plastics surgiversary to me.

In April I had to buy a new summer wardrobe, but I'm not complaining. I have 10 lbs. to lose to reach goal. I am wanting a Tummy Tuck this winter and I have questions. Does a tummy tuck help reduce the waist area? How much weight did you lose due to having the tummy tuck? Did you go down a pant size? How many days was the pain miserable? How far after the surgery did the swelling go down and you could see results? How far out until you saw final results? I weigh 145 and I plan on being at least 135 when I get it. Thanks

That gave me a chuckle …imagine everyone talking about you slapping your butt at work! ????

@@JamieLogical
Your killing me here..Not even a stretch mark. I'm so jealous.

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

Kfree I am so sorry for your loss and it is a good reminder...
Ok, it's well known I had multiple procedures at once. I don't take that lightly however. I wasn't sure how to reply because I want to be supportive,I had multiple procedures,but there is something uncomfortable for me in your description. I have no idea if my comments are on target but it is what I would mention to a friend to encourage her to seek more information.
Let me start by saying none of the USA surgeons I consulted would do a 10hour surgery due to the risk of general anesthesia. My surgery was 9hours and was done with a twilight sedation combined with an epidural. The surgeon and his anesthesiologist specializes in this situation and had done hundreds of similar jumbo procedures before me. I was healthier and fitter than many. He has never lost anyone, never had someone go into ICU, but I still recognised it was a big deal to do so much at once.
I had no Lipo and I am concerned with how much you describe. I have talked to several people who had lots of lipo and it is very painful and does not always deliver results. Have you seen before and afters of patients who are similar to you that had all that lipo? I know very little about lipo but I thought the garments are key to lipo results so it worried me that he is doing so much but you expect to wear the garments only 2-4 weeks. I was required to wear garments for 6 weeks and then voluntarily wore stage 2 ones another 6-8 weeks on my tummy for my own comfort.
Do you have realistic expectations of results-that comes from looking at similar people.
Why not wait until you are at goal? You were sleeved less than a year ago. I am unclear if you plan to try to get to goal between now and Aug 20th but now is the time to be building up strength, having lots of Protein, preventing anemia etc. It really isn't the time to try to crash diet lose weight. Now I did lose a few pre op because I was a bundle of nerves....but I was getting lots of Protein, wholesome foods and exercise.
How many consults did you have? I had several and was shocked by the range of opinions and recommendations....very educational. Does your surgeon have great reviews on real self.com?
I had a breast lift and augmentation. I was lucky that he was able to do it without the T scar...just the lollipop. 8 months out and breast scar is invisible. For me I wanted to see tons of breast pix for fear of looking artificial. I am pleased with my results.
On the pain topic...I experienced very little. I had strong meds the first 3 days while I was in the clinic and after that Tylenol. However,ladies who had lipo hurt more. The recovery was long slow and difficult because of the severe restrictions on activity. I found that harder than expected.
So I apologize if I offended and it could be that my concerns are way off base. All I know is what I learned going through my journey and the year I spent researching, doing consults and most insightful was the time on social media with fellow patients of my surgeon Dr Sauceda. I followed stories of perfect outcomes and a few complications. It's why I was hardcore about following Dr orders.....I wanted to do way more activity but that is strongly correlated with certain complications so I went stir crazy instead.

Hey everyone I'm scheduled for my brachioplasty this Monday June 23 just wondering if you all had advice suggestions of pre op this I should do or post op how was your experience ? Pain ? How much can you use your arms after ? One of my biggest concerns is if I am going to be able to use the bathroom without assistance after lol !

I can't wait to start dating again. I really miss male attention. I also miss sex. I'll confess a secret little joke I have with myself. Ok, I HATE exercise. More than anything in the entire world and it's been this way my whole life even before I was morbidly obese. However I know it is now an essential part of my weight loss and body transformation. So I tell myself I am training for the holympics. ho + olympics = holympics. (crass I know but it makes me workout )

October/ November 2012 was a dating whirlwind for me. All online. I had a chemistry.com subscription, okcupid, even had an ad on Craigslist. Met a guy on Craigslist late November, we've been dating ever since. I told him about the surgery in January by which time he'd already guessed. I don't think I have body image issues- pretty happy with my nekkid self (apart from a few specific positions). Going out to eat was weird for the first few times, but I warned him up front that I don't eat a lot.

3 years ago today I had the VSG!
So much has happened in the last 3 years in regards to my attitudes, abilities and awareness surrounding my body, what I eat, and how I exercise. I will do my best to keep this short!
First and foremost, I am one of those people who had a surgical procedure to help me lose weight. And I hit a "low" weight and then, in the space of about 10 months, regained about 20ish pounds. Nothing is more humbling than being a "statistic" in this way. I had always heard that this regularly happens to WLS patients and a part of my brain said "oh that won't be me!" Haha. Lessons learned the hard way are sometimes the ones that stick with us the most.
So if any of you have the question "is it possible to regain weight with the sleeve?" ...the answer is YES it is possible. The regain is actually quite easy. You quit tracking your food, you eat a few more calories than you need to, extra "treats" find there way back into your life, and you slack off on the exercising. Losing the extra regain...well notsoeasy. I have lost -12lbs of my regain and will continue to fight until the regain is gone.
Here are just a few quick things that are true for ME, personally.
1. We can live on a lot less food than we think we can live on. If you take nothing else away from this post, please remember that statement. During the time that I had regained some weight, I found myself wanting to eat more and the truth of the matter remains that my daily caloric intake needs to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,400 calories or less for me to maintain or lose weight, regardless of how much I exercise. This is completely reasonable, doable and normal for me. And I am finally OK with this. (Yours may be completely different!!)
2. Don't underestimate the importance of exercise!! It's taken me a while to finally push myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to exercise, but I've found out what a really challenging workout does to me mentally and physically and I know when things get to easy that I need to push myself farther. If you have never exercised before in your life, then your goal is to GET UP OFF the couch and DO SOMETHING. And if exercise is not completely foreign to you, then you need to set some goals to push yourself harder.
3. Plastic surgery. I have not had any...yet. I went for an initial consult this past May. It was really hard to see how much damage being morbidly obese has done to my body and how much it would cost to get a nice "perfect" body. I've had a lot of time and space to think about what I learned at that consult and what I realize now, is that I'm not sure I can afford perfection. Or that it necessarily exists. I just know I could put one of my kids through college for what I was quoted for plastics. So I'm currently on the fence and in the mode of trying to be happy with where I am and not worry about chasing a down a body that might not exist for me.
4. I constantly drink Water. I drink (half-caf) coffee (usally 2 cups a day), I rarely drink alcohol and I never drink anything carbonated. I've been carbonation free for over 3 years now. I also rarely use any type of crystal lite, or flavor enhancers etc. Sometimes I drink plain (unsweet) tea.
My net loss is somewhere around -90lbs. My husband is also sleeved and did NOT regain any weight. He is 2.5 years post-op and seems to maintain his more modest loss (-70lbs) more effortlessly than I do. He also can eat more calories than I do, so right there are complete differences among sleevers! I just don't think we can ever "give up" ...and there is no "finish" line! There might be a GOAL WEIGHT, but once you are there, it's still a journey to keep the weight off. And for that reason I'm eternally grateful to my VST 'family' for always being here!
BEFORE VSG 2010

AFTER VSG 2013 (all of these photos have been taken in the last 2 months)

SIDE BY SIDE

hmmm, I wonder, I bet that folks 3 years out With regrets are not on this board???

Erika, your timing is amazing. Thursday will be one year out from surgery and 128 pounds down and was JUST thinking about this. As in yesterday. I had forgotten all about this thread. I think it's still a great idea and I would love to be involved some how. I know there is a Facebook group for WLS that talks about sex and body image and stuff but it's not a dating site. I'm going to do some research and see if anything has come about in the past year. Wow, the difference a year makes.
I want to hear how dating has been going for people. I have not been out on a date but I do have a couple of profiles out there now.

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

Just had another breaking point....read a minute ago that MIchael Clarke Duncan died. He was 6'5 and weighed 300 pounds. Wait a minute, I WEIGH 300 POUNDS at 5'5. May he RIP but he was a big guy with big muscles.
Also, I was at my friends house and I picked up her bikini top as a joke and put it around my thigh and it wouldn't touch.... I probably did what we ALL do. Laughed and made a joke.
Does this even need further discussion?

You hit the nail on the head. I think this one is HUGE! You have to do it to break the awkward silence. Tonight I had to tell my boss who had been bugging me and buggine me about joining the rest of the department at a baseball game that I didn't want to go because I couldn't fit in the seats. Her 100 pound butt didn't have anything to say after that.
The saddest thing about this post is the things people say about us and we take it. I hate when skinny people say they don't notice weight and they don't treat large people differently. I want to yell bull. But you can't convince them.
I can't wait to get enough confidence to start dating.

You hit the nail on the head. I think this one is HUGE! You have to do it to break the awkward silence. Tonight I had to tell my boss who had been bugging me and buggine me about joining the rest of the department at a baseball game that I didn't want to go because I couldn't fit in the seats. Her 100 pound butt didn't have anything to say after that.
The saddest thing about this post is the things people say about us and we take it. I hate when skinny people say they don't notice weight and they don't treat large people differently. I want to yell bull. But you can't convince them.
I can't wait to get enough confidence to start dating.

You hit the nail on the head. I think this one is HUGE! You have to do it to break the awkward silence. Tonight I had to tell my boss who had been bugging me and buggine me about joining the rest of the department at a baseball game that I didn't want to go because I couldn't fit in the seats. Her 100 pound butt didn't have anything to say after that.
The saddest thing about this post is the things people say about us and we take it. I hate when skinny people say they don't notice weight and they don't treat large people differently. I want to yell bull. But you can't convince them.
I can't wait to get enough confidence to start dating.

You hit the nail on the head. I think this one is HUGE! You have to do it to break the awkward silence. Tonight I had to tell my boss who had been bugging me and buggine me about joining the rest of the department at a baseball game that I didn't want to go because I couldn't fit in the seats. Her 100 pound butt didn't have anything to say after that.
The saddest thing about this post is the things people say about us and we take it. I hate when skinny people say they don't notice weight and they don't treat large people differently. I want to yell bull. But you can't convince them.
I can't wait to get enough confidence to start dating.

You hit the nail on the head. I think this one is HUGE! You have to do it to break the awkward silence. Tonight I had to tell my boss who had been bugging me and buggine me about joining the rest of the department at a baseball game that I didn't want to go because I couldn't fit in the seats. Her 100 pound butt didn't have anything to say after that.
The saddest thing about this post is the things people say about us and we take it. I hate when skinny people say they don't notice weight and they don't treat large people differently. I want to yell bull. But you can't convince them.
I can't wait to get enough confidence to start dating.