MrzSongbird

I came across this video regarding weight loss and friendships, what so you guys think? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKyjACcL_g0&feature=youtube_gdata_player If the link is broken you can to on YouTube, her name is USlbgirl

Oh Stein no feathers ruffled here, it has taken a long time for me to see myself. I don't have any health issues that prevented me, just bad choices. I agree with you from your perspective.

Agreed, it all goes hand in hand. For me it was a cop out for me not to do what I needed to do. I want my husband to be running to car outta work to get home to mama! Bwahaha

BkMama, I have and we a wonderful heart to heart and voiced our concerns and I am happily on my way to a successful sleeve surgery.

You are so right, we are doing this for ourselves, our families just benefit greatly from it.

The key difference between the two situations are vast, one can be avoided the other could not. Does my husband love me unconditionally, absolutely, is it right for me to sit around and let life happen to me or get up out of my pity party and do something about it. Now out of my hubbys own mouth he has said if I had a medical condition that prevented me from losing weight it'd be an entirely different story. Don't both parties deserve to be happy in a marriage? Imo extreme weight gain prevents couples from doing a lot, is the other person required to stop living because of the others negligence of their bodies. Negligence and tragedy are two totally different things. This is a reality I had to face myself, if I had taken care of my business as soon as I saw things going on a way I didn't like I would have never ballooned up to this weight. If you have a person who wants to obtain a law degree, but doesn't put nearly the amount of work into their studies to be successful, and they come crying to you about their failure, what will be your response to them. Even after being sleeved one must exercise their will to "not be obese" through their lifestyle point blank or all this will have been for naught. This is my reality which fuels my change.

Well said Sweet Tee, this change is for my family as well I have four active little children that inherited their fathers athleticism. I want him to understand I'm not doing this for attention from anyone else but him but most importantly for my health, confidence, and to be a partner to the best of my ability.

I have become the communicator encouraging him to be totally honest about his feelings because they matter to me. I dare not only address my issues because both of us need to be considered. We actually had a completely exhilarating conversation about our marriage recently, because things were getting critical. We both adressed our concerns and talked about steps to healing our marriage. I feel like a weight has been lifted.

Wheetsin I listed the most frequent comment he makes which is "you are gonna change" referring to me wanting another man. Let me tell you my husband is an extremely macho man who shows very little to no emotion. I have had some major insecurity and trust issues in my marriage, stemming from weight gain (approx. 100 lbs over the last 10 yrs). I have experienced my weight affecting our intimacy, not to mention we have four small kids which is a whole other battle in itself. Along with our intimacy being affected I have felt at times his attention has been elsewhere, you know how women have that gut feeling but no proof but you know deep down in your heart of hearts.... I am deciding to take back over the reigns of my life, health and marriage. I felt like big or small he was supposed to be ok with it, but now I know that's selfish. What's the saying, "the same things you did to get em' you gotta do to keep em'. So I guess I did leave some essentials out.

Chitown that's a great idea, I like the sound of it. O.t.r, you hit one of the nails on the head right on. He does feel like I could eat pretty much what I want as long as I work out vigorously and consistently. He really doesn't understand food addiction. I told him its 60% what I put in my body as well. Now I am learning to overcome my mental blocks regarding the of working out, the other day I ran 1 mile with minimal stops. He says once I can jog that mile without stopping it'll begin to melt off.

Congrats Patrick, wishing you a speedy recovery! *singing* 'meet em' on da train its going down, meet em ay da mall its going down........anywhere you meet em guaranteed to go down.....lol

So I've heard the divorce rate for WLS patients is kinda high and it had me thinking. My weight became an issue in my marriage for a while and I didn't care. After years of soul searching and added co morbidities I get the big picture now......my husband lately, since I am getting closer to getting a surgery date, keeps making these random comments about me changing afterwards. Now, mind you he's been on my butt about changing my lifestyle and getting healthier, he's a health freak. He also says things like "if you'd do what I tell you as it pertains to my workout I could have you 100lbs lighter by Christmas. He is an ex marine and a police officer, so he's been running and working out most of his life, I can't endure his treacherous workout. After saying all that I know he wants me to lose the weight but I am confused by his comments. Not rooting my own horn but when I was smaller 10yrs ago when I met him I had to beat men off with a stick and he saw that, I'm wondering if that's it. Hmmm I don't know but, I gotta do me......

Who is your doc? In in Memphis and my doc said the same thing. I'm actually trying to lose 30lbs by surgery I want to be under 300lbs before surgery. Good luck to you in your journey, you can definitely do it. My motto is "if its worth having, its worth working for.

Licy1979 congrats to you! I'm about the same weight now that you were, I'm wondering about skin. How is your skin reacting, losing so quickly? That's awesome, I pray to have similar results. What size bougie did your surgeon use?

Ladies we've gotta start enforcing our wills!

Oh you stubborn and impatient, want everything your way right away Leos bwahaha------ I'm one too 8/18.

Ooh I'm so excited for you! I have one more weigh in, psych eval, and nut assessment. Keep me posted

Oh wait....have you done your psych eval. and your nutrition assessment? Those were required for me .

You are done lady bug Cigna only requires three months. Contact Cigna and your surgeons office asap! Good luck

Ooh honey, we can do it. I'm thinking about looking into water fasting, but I'm not really sure about what it all entails. Whatever we gotta do!

Oh wow, my doc needs a 10lb loss as well. I'm not scheduled yet either but I really wanna be under 300 by surgery to put my goal more within reach. God bless you in your journey.

Oh wow, my doc needs a 10lb loss as well. I'm not scheduled yet either but I really wanna be under 300 by surgery to put my goal more within reach. God bless you in your journey.

Kristopia I was wondering about that, I had gallbladder surgery last year and now that I am pursuing VSG I wondered if they could go in through those laproscopic scars from the previous surgery. I am putting this on my list of questions for my surgeon too. Thanks

Thanks so much for you guys input. When I had gallbladder surgery my older two were very helpful keeping the younger two busy. I'm thinking I might have snacks on hand and things they can make sandwiches with, simple things. As far as cleaning my kids are trained well, they know "momma don't play bout no nasty house" they even know how to do laundry. I was just worried about being completely incoherent and the possibilities of what could happen, kids will be kids. Thanks again guys!