Territravel

When I first decided to have VSG, I didn’t initially come to this board. I did my research, talked to my Drs. and went through the process. Any questions that I had, I was able to research through the internet and typically I found answers. If I couldn’t I would discuss them with my Dr. or my nutritionist during my 6 month pre-op requirement. I found this board just days before my surgery. I came here looking for mutant people like myself. People whose life had spun out of control and sought solace and comfort in excessive food and drink. People who had decided that they have had enough of the churn. People that were taking the steps to improve their health and their lives. People that actually allowed themselves to be spread out on an operating table and let a group of strangers cut out a perfectly good stomach. You see, I don’t have a lot of support at home as my spouse had RNY a few years back and failed to maintain her weight and is fairly obese again. She’s been pretty passive aggressive about the whole thing and, well that’s a whole Jerry Springer episode all in itself. I don’t have any close family, and I didn’t share my surgery with anyone who was particularly close friend wise. For some unexplained reason, I needed to be in a tribe for this journey, so I found this board. I came here and I met a whole raft of nice people, people that I enjoyed conversing with on a daily basis, mutants like myself (you all know who you are, and I thank you for the friendship that you all have extended to me).
 
I learned things on this board and I contributed and tried to support. As I did, I came to realize that this surgery is a whole lot tougher on some people than it had been for me both physically and mentally. I guess that I had focused so much on trying to lose the weight and get healthy, that I didn’t see WLS as that big of deal. I’ve done every diet, taken nutrition classes as part of my school work, was a pretty faithful follower of good gym habits; I just couldn’t put down the fork and the cup. I barreled through all this like I always had, by not taking any prisoners. It never occurred to me that others weren’t like that, so it was an eye opening experience to hear the struggles of others. As I tried to pass along my experiences and support, I started getting offline messages. Some were funny, some were more questions, but over the last couple of weeks, I got a couple that were just down right mean. I was being chided for responding in an honest and forthright manner, not being judgmental, but offering an opinion based on experience and facts. Then last week, I was perusing a thread over in one of the other sections that basically called out the so called “vets” on the board for hijacking threads and interjecting silliness and nonsense into too many threads. The poster felt like all this should be relegated to the chat room and policed off the boards. What really melted my butter was a reply by someone that I had truly respected, and someone that had been chastised openly on the board for some of their responses, actually agreeing with the poster about how some of the “vets” handled their posts. This was someone that I had actually defended and sent a message of encouragement to, now blazing away at others (and myself, in my opinion) on the board. It was a wake-up call that maybe there are mutants here that don’t come here for the same reasons that I do. Maybe they feel that this should be a very narrow, well patrolled repository of information and facts, and that there’s no room for a joke and a smile and a bit of irreverent behavior among the tribes people.
 
So, last week I decided to take a few days away from VST and figure out what I wanted from it. Had I graduated from the tribe of mutants? Was this drama that seems to interweave itself into threads on a regular basis worth it? Had I really been that callus in my responses as I was accused of being? I even visited another gastric sleeve board just to get a perspective of how the other tribes live. Then, it dawned on me that we all come here to get something that we need. It might be information, it might absolution, it may be reassurance, and it might even be a joke when we need one, but we all come here seeking something. Because my reasons for being here are different from others, I shouldn’t be castigated for offering an opinion or a word of tough love or even warm and fuzzy encouragement. I shouldn't feel bad to have a joke with a fellow mutant about some nonsense. But, I have decided that for now, it is best that I don’t participate as regularly as I have in the past. I want to continue to learn, I want to see how others react to their quest for health, but mainly I want to be with my tribe. I can do that from the lurkers chair just as easy as I can by participating and I don’t have to sweep the drama from my mailbox.
 
Thanks for listening – I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the courage to make the life altering changes necessary to live a long and happy life.
 
Peace....
 
John

I did really poorly today with hydrating and getting in protein. I think I got maybe 40 grams in? And only 40oz of water. I was so thirsty when I got home!
 
I'm still doing really bad with not drinking before or after eating. WHY AM I STRUGGLING SO MUCH? I think I'm literally going to have to buy a timer and carry it around with me when I'm home (since my phone doesn't have a good timer option on it and appt reminders are a hassle). I need to do this properly.
 
I'm also calling my doctor's office thursday because I think I need to up my PPIs strength. I'm taking Prevacid 30mg, and my stomach gurgles every 2 hours, and I feel hungry!!! That's not supposed to happen right?
 
I went to the gym today! I had an intense nightmare this morning that woke me up early, so I felt tired all day. But I made it to the gym. YAYYYY!
 
I did the bike for 30 minutes with an average speed of 12 miles. Weird thing was, my heart started hurting, and I lost my inhaler so breathing was really difficult. I was freaked out by the heart pains. I slowed down a little on the bike and waited for it to go away. I then walked on the treadmill for about a half hour. In total I burned about 400 calories. Not too bad I guess.
 
My legs felt really odd. Almost like I could feel the lactic acid building up within a half hour of riding. I just feel really weak tonight. I'm tired. Not like I want to shut my eyes and fall asleep tired, but my body just feels exhausted.
 
My nut says I can have up to 60 carbs a day, but with all the protein I eat, I don't think I breach 40 most days. I gotta work on being diligent with counting protein AND carbs. My nut stressed that carbs were important to think, especially since I'm in school. If it does get to be too much, and I can't function at school, I'm gonna have to up my carbs if my nut ok's it since caffeine is off the menu for a while LOL.
 
Here's to a new start with fitness!

I have been battling some buyers remorse. I am soooooooo tired of soups and soft foods. My docs instructions, are full liquids, protein drinks, scrambled egg only, yogurt, cheeses, refried beans and fish. No purees. This sounded great 2 weeks ago but now I would rather not eat than have the things I am allowed. I am not getting in my protein or all of my fluids. I have also hit a stall. I am sure its because of my lack of protein and fluids.
It has been so depressing when my daughter insisted I go out to lunch with her the other day, I replied "why so you can pay 12.00 for the 3 spoons of soup I will
hate?"
This morning I had a talk with myself, I know this is temporary. I know I needed this surgery and was blessed to be able to have it. I am determined that starting today I will eat some protein every 3 hours, drink my fluids and do some light exercise.
In one more week I can add shrimp, crab, chicken and turkey, soft veggies, salad and fruit!!!!!!!!! Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life will be so much easier then. I will feel like I can actually make a regular meal, I have been collecting some high protein recipes and can't wait to try them.

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

All of my life I have been bigger. With that said, I didn't really care becasue I was always in shape and very active. I played tennis is high school and swam every day. I would hike when I was able and I could slam the crap out of a racquetball ball. Then BAM!!!! That all changed 18 years ago. I was 20 years old, in college, and having the time of my life when my disc decided it didn't like the home it had and that it wanted to go explore the rest of my back. The first two years after this happened, I was still able to do some activities, but I had to be mindful of my back. Then, over time, it got worse and I did less and less until I could no longer fathom the idea of doing any activity. Truth is, when you deal with chronic pain on a daily basis, you get tired of it and you want to do anything you can to get it to stop. My anything was doing nothing.
 
Now, after my surgery I have been doing more than I have in years. I walk almost daily or do some other type of cardio. And even though I'm still in horrible pain, I figure it's worth it to be healthy. I am only 5 months out and I have lost over 100lbs from my highest weight and around 75 from my surgery day. Now, you can't lose that much weight that fast with out some repercussions. And trust me, I have some. If you have read my blog for awhile, you know that I have already commented about my boobs. For those of you who don't know, my boobs are the things I miss the most. Every time I look in the mirror when I'm naked, I sing, "Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low?" They seem to hang a little lower every day. I'm starting to think they are depressed. Maybe I should give them some antidepressants to perk them back up....do you think that would work? I wish!!!
 
I had just learned to accept my boobs then out of nowhere I noticed something today that totally caught me off guard. I have wings!!! You know the extra skin under your arm that just hangs there and flops back and forth. I thought I was doing well with not getting any of that. I have made sure that I have worked my arms (with my shake weight, and while walking) but apparently that hasn't been enough. I am 38 years old and I have the back, boobs and arms of an 80 year old. Then, to make it just a little worse, I can start to see the extra skin on my tummy. My oh my, I'm just going to be skinny...yes, the pun was intended. But seriously people....it sucks. We work so hard following the program, doing what we need to do, and fighting daily urges to not eat certain things and to keep active and yet some of us will still have these issues.
 
I guess I'll have to accept my new wings like I accepted my boobs. I can't do anything about it right now. The good thing is that now I won't have to pay those high prices for airfare. I can just hold out my arms on a windy day and "Fly like and eagle". Now, if only I can find something useful for my droopy boobs to do....that's going to take some thought.

After 3 days off of work and having finished watching one full season of The Biggest Loser, I couldn't help myself but sign up for a personal trainer at my local gym. I've officially signed up for 20 sessions with a personal trainer, my first session starting next Tuesday at 6 AM. Although I haven't met this person just yet, the mystery of it is keeping me so excited. Also keeping me excited are my aspirations and expectations of myself once I hit the gym.
 
I plan to hit this endeavor with full force. Throwing myself fully behind something I believe in is a specialty of mine; remaining in that same geared frame of mind for longer than two months is another thing altogether. It has been my downfall in the past. I have a repertoire full of failed diet and exercise schemes.
 
I feel different this time though. I feel like it will work this time--all that effort I will be placing in the gym won't be in vain like it has been so many times before. I truly feel that yo-yo dieting is a thing of the past for me.
 
I have to do this. I can do this. I will do this!
 

Well its been 5month since my surgery and friday i went to an emergency room for an ear ache and weighed 322.8 lbs. i weighed 442 back on Oct 2011. By the time i had my surgery March 5th i weighed 417lbs, So now i have lost 95 lbs since my surgery and 120lbs since Oct. Many more to go

Has anyone tried Peanut butter in shakes when you can have protein? I tried it today! OMG Good! And you get protein from it! It became liquid form. I added Skim milk, Ice, and Protein Vanilla Shake! Instantly GREAT!