tmorgan813

I know not to expect miracles. I think we all know the weight won't just disappear over night. Then why is it that I get so discouraged over a number? Maybe a better way to say this is that I get so discouraged over the lack of downward movement of the number. How is it that pre-op the weight just "fell" off and even post-op, the first few days it seemed to "melt" away. Now, it's been stuck on the same number for the past seven days? As I am writing this, my common sense and intelligence is saying, "Trish, you have got to be be kidding me!!! You have lost 35lbs during pre-op and after surgery (only 13 days ago...total amount of time???? 28 days!!!). I know that I shouldn't freak out. The person in me with common sense wants to just slap the crazy girl who wants to see all these changes back to the middle ages, where scales didn't have so much power. I KNOW I'm crazy (unrealistic is a better term) for wanting to see the scale drop every day, but I can't help it. And, I know I am not the only person who is like this. When did our obsession with the scale become so unrealistic? When did the number on a scale start to have so much meaning and so much power over us? So, I started thinking, "where does this obsession come from?". At what point did I learn that these expectations were fine to have?. Should I follow all the psychology theories out there and blame my parents? Freud would say it has something to do with my sexuality but I don't' really think we need to be taking advice from a man high on opioids and itching for his next fix. Do I blame society and the media? Do I blame myself? I think a little blame goes to all of the above. Now, before you attack me for saying my parents have some part in this, just hear me out. Our parents were bombarded with Jane Fonda workouts, the cabbage diet, Gene Simmons, weight watchers, and the constant reminder that the perfect plate came in 1/3s. 1/3 of the plate was protein, 1/3 was starch, and 1/3 was veggies or fruit. They were told to drink 4 glasses of milk a day and that eggs were good for us...then bad...and now, apparently they are good for us again. There was no "pink slim" in our burgers, no hormones in our meat, and our veggies didn't come from other countries and somehow defy the laws of biology and not rot for two to three weeks at a time. What do they put on these veggies anyway? Is there some supper "look younger" cream for veggies that women don't know about yet? If so, they need to bottle it up as I am sure they would make a lot more money with that then with the veggies. Sidebar* I bought some grapes, came home and put them int he fridge. A month and a half latter, I "found them" behind some other things. To my shock they looked and felt as though I bought them yesterday. I told myself right then and there that I wouldn't be buying my fruits and veggies from a certain grocery store again. That was just creepy. Ok, back to the parents. The had no reason to think McDonald's food was bad for us. I mean according to the commercials, everything was freshly made. Fresh= good for us. The federal government and media shoved all this information down their thoughts with very little thought of giving any real explanation. It's like giving a bike to a child who can't read and telling them to follow the instructions. The child compromises and just looks at the pictures to get the bike together. If there are left over parts, they just get thrown back int he box and you pray the bike doesn't fall apart while you're in the middle of a 2 foot jump off a homemade ramp. (My father was the king of doing this. I don't think he ever put something together where there wasn't left over parts floating around when he was done. Now, I am married to a man who does the same thing. Lucky for us, nothing has ever just fallen apart so they must be doing something right. The only good part of what our parent's learned and saw was that in the magazines and on t.v., the models looked that normal people. They were not a size <0, or airbrushed to look more like a barbie doll and less like a person. The photos I saw as a child were not unrealistic. Christie Brinkley was thin but in shape. She didn't look as though she starved herself. It was a great "thin role model" to try to aim to become. It wasn't a model that was so Photoshopped that no one could ever look like her. If you ask me, I miss seeing real women in magazines. I think the fashion industry needs to learn that clothes on a a wharf of a model does not make me want to buy them. Oh, and before I forget, I never once read in a magazine where a model said, " I exercise two times a day, eat right, and rarely allow myself to have any sweets." What I do read and hear is, "I don't exercise, I eat what ever I want. I'm just lucky I have good genes." Well aren't you special? And for the record, you're a huge fibber. You may not exercise, but I promise you, you don't eat what you want. You eat tofu and salads all day, everyday. You starve yourself for your profession or get some help with illegal drugs. Just look at all the award shows on TV. How many times do you hear actors say that they have been on a "cleansing" diet for two weeks? I hear it all the time. SO, for two weeks before the awards show, the actor is drinking some strange concoction and using the bathroom way more than any normal person should. But hey, at least she looks good in her Oscar de la Rente dress.I don't know anyone who would consider those things yummy to the tummy. Tofu can't hold it's own up against a good 4oz grilled cheeseburger, grilled onions, and topped with your faves. Then to add some pasta salad or french fries with that makes it even better. But, apparently the models "genes" made her taste buds not find any of that appealing....or a better explanation is that she LIED through her perfectly straight, overly white teeth. I'm going with option 2 on this one. I don't think it's all media's fault. I think parents, friends, and co-workers have some say in our feelings too. How many of us have lost weight int he past heard this, "Oh my goodness, you look great!!! How much have you lost?" It's like the amount of weight lost is needed to verify that the person does in fact look good. If you say you've only lost around 10 pounds, you are bound to hear someone say, "that's it? If looks like you've lost so much more. I guess everything has just redistributed." If you say, you've lost 50lbs, then you hear, "oh, that's a lot. How much more do you have to lose?" This is a feeble attempt to find out your weight. Something that always ticked me off. To these people, I usually respond that I'm not sure as i don't really look at the scale. This seems to make them very uncomfortable. The look of, "you're kidding me. Who doesn't look at the scale." is priceless. It usually only takes one time of saying this and they stop asking for numbers. The key is making them feel just a little more uncomfortable than you do. That way, they don't bother you again with all this number talk. Another thing I heard growing up (even from my father...who believe it or not didn't mean for it to sound rude) was, "you would be sooooo beautiful if only you lost some weight." I can't tell you how many times I heard this growing up. I heard it from family, "friends', teachers, even people I didn't know that I just saw out and about. How did they not see my face drop when they said it? Did I look like deep down I was thinking, "you know, you're right. Right now I'm fat and ugly, but if I loose some weight I will be thin and beautiful. Ummm, thanks? I won't type what I want to say but it rhymes with Pluck Hue!!!! I thought beauty was on the inside. How does losing weight make my inner beauty even more beautiful? Oh it doesn't. You are really saying that even though I have a great personality, my fatness is making it hard for anyone to find me attractive. Thanks for making me aware of this. I wouldn't have known with out your underhanded complement. Now, I am just going to lock myself in my house and find some cookies and ice cream. My emotions just said, "screw you", I don't need your approval. I have the approval of Ben and Jerry's and Oreo. At least they make me happy and don't make me feel bad about myself until the next day when I get in on the scale again. But even then, I don't blame Ben and Jerry or myself for allowing them to cheer me up. I blame the mean person who hurt my feelings and "made me" fall off the wagon. Yes, it's that person''s fault I'm fat!!!! If they would have called me beautiful then I wouldn't be downing all the ice cream and cookies I can get my fat stubby fingers around. LOL Now, I know the only person to blame is myself. No one forced me to eat the things I used to eat. I did that all on my own. I watched the number on the scale go up and up over the years and I was the person that didn't do anything about it. Now, all that's changed. I did do something about it. I now eat to live and not live to eat. I just have to learn that the scale isn't the end all be all. I have to throw out everything I've been taught in the past 37 years and take a new look at it all. But, I still want to see those numbers go down...maybe I can do a little of both? This is going to be hard but I can't allow a little box with digital numbers run my life any more and I hope you don't either. Here's to the only numbers that count....my protein and my liquids. I like those numbers high and I don't feel bad when I eat my tuna fish or my smoothie. Now I just have to learn to not feel bad when the scale doenst' move. Yes, that's going to be the hardest thing to get used to.

Thanks both of you. I will keep writing and trying to find the funny in this crazy process. Hope you share your funny stories as well.

I was just trying to give some background. I am sorry you it made you feel sad. That wasn't my goal. As for counseling, I am not sure why you feel I need that but I respect your opinion. I am a positive person and even though my weight and back have caused some hardships I wouldn't change a thing. Everything I have been through has made me the person I am. I will try to be funnier...but like I said, i can't promise anything...what I find comical, some people may not...I will just be honest and blunt and just be myself. Hope you keep reading...and I hope I don't make you sad anymore. I don't want to make anyone sad.

Good luck. You will do great. All those thoughts are normal but trust me, you will be so happy once you are home and healing. The worst part is when you first wake up and when they take the drainage tube out. And, what everyone says is so true....you do feel better every day...and every day it gets easier to get more in you. The first four to five days, you don't really feel like taking in much of anything. You will have to force the liquids in but after the swelling goes down it gets much easier. Also, WALK, WALK, WALK. I can't stress how much this helps with the gas pain and your overall healing. Good luck and keep us posted on how things went.

11 days ago I was wheeled back to the surgery room (yes, I remember this) and I told all the doctors, "Have fun taking the majority of my stomach out. I'm so ready for this...just don't mess up." The last thing I heard before I was knocked out was laughter. If you ask me, that's a great thing to hear before you undergo any major surgery. When I woke up, there wasn't any more laughing. Actually, I had Nurse Hatchet as my post op nurse. I remember thinking, "this lady is in the wrong field." She wouldn't listen to me when I told her how much pain I was in. All she would say was, "of course you're in pain, you just had surgery." Needless to say, the hospital messed up and didn't give me the right meds and that's why I was in so much pain. If Nurse Hatchet would have listened to the half asleep, babbling girl in post op, she may have noticed the hospital's mistakes and fixed them. Instead, I had to deal with horrific pain for 5 hours before my husband finally said something to the nurse who was caring for me in my room. Due to my chronic back pain, I am on some major feel good drugs. Knowing this, they still put me on medication that was lower than what I normally take. However, thanks to my passive aggressive (sometimes there's no passive about it) husband, I was placed on the correct meds and began healing. Once I came home, I was shocked at all the gas I had to expel. While in the hospital all I did was burp a few times but once I got home, the gas couldn't find a way out fast enough. It didn't care why exit it used as long as it escaped. I learned that walking helped me get the gasses out even faster. The crazy thing is that no matter how long I walked, the gas seemed to wait to exit once I was done and in the house. My husband swears I held it in and let it out in the house on purpose just to prove he didn't marry a woman. He has told me multiple times this week that I am a man with a vagina....because no woman expels that much gas. To be honest, there were times I wondered if he was right. Then came the mood swings. My moods were swinging around like the chimpanzees in your local zoo. Maybe even more accurate would be my moods were going up and down faster than any express elevator I've ever been on and the aftermath of my mood swings was equal to any hurricane that has ever passed through the area. To make it worse, all my anger was directed at my husband. He had a huge bulls-eye on him and I aimed for a perfect score as many times a day as I could. The worst part is that I felt myself verbally attacking the man I love and I couldn't stop myself. He could say, "how are you doing today?" and I would unleash my wrath upon him because he was being condescending or just plain overbearing. The poor man became so afraid to talk that even that began to piss me off. Lucky for my marriage, things have calmed down quit a bit. So for now, we are not headed to divorce, but this journey isn't over yet, so we'll see. The other thing that I seem to worry about more than I ever have is my urine and bowel movements. I never thought I would care this much about how much I peed and what my poop looked like or why I haven't pooped. I feel like a mother changing her child's dippers except the baby is me and the dipper is the toilet. I found myself calling my sister and asking if it's normal that I haven't pooped in five days. Apparently it is. Good to know. Now I can sleep better. It seems like in a week and a half, I have experienced some crazy things. I can't wait to see what other crazy things I experience down the road. No matter what they are, I will try to find the humor in them and share. Good luck to everyone else out there going through this. And, to the people who are just thinking about having this done. It's not easy, but it's not as hard as you might think it is either. Just make sure you find the funny in everything. Because if you can find something to make you laugh at it all, it's much easier to swallow than any crushed up pill you have to take after surgery.

Welcome. This blog is dedicated to all the people out there who didn't take the easy way out. It doesn't matter if you had the bypass, the sleeve, or the lap-band, it's not easy going through all the changes associated with weight loss surgery. This is why I wanted to bring some comedy to the table. I can't really bring anything else as I wouldn't be able to get it down but, laughter makes everything better and I hope this blog makes your experience just a little easier during those tough times. I can't promise everything I type will be funny...hell, I can't even promise a little bit will be funny. All I can promise is that I will be honest, blunt, and sometimes I will look at situations a little differently than most people. My name is Tricia and I have been fat my whole life. Even when I look back at photos of myself where I was "thin", I remember still feeling fat in compassion to my friends. However, I was always active and in shape so I didn't really let being the bigger one in my group bother me. Then when I was 20 years old and in college, I developed really bad back issues. In the past 17 years, I put on over 100lbs, began feeling like a blob, and I felt my self esteem fall drastically. Three years ago, I watched my sister, Cherie, go through gastric bypass surgery and I have to admit, watching her loose the weight made me very happy for her but not so happy with myself. I would watch her sit at family dinners and nibble on very little food and then announce how full she was. I remember thinking that I could never give up enjoying food like she did. But, the more she lost the more I thought about giving everything up just too be thin. Then in December of 2010, my back finally gave out and I had to leave work. This was devastating for me as have always been a worker and the idea of going on disability was heart-wrenching for me. After many doctor's apts, I was told that I needed a new disc in my back but the only way to be able to have one is if I lost a LOT of weight. Apparently, fat people can't get new discs as the disc doesn't seem to set right. Who knew a titanium disc was so picky? So, I began the long process of nutrition classes, Life Skill classes, doctor's apts, and finally surgery. On April 12, 2012 I had Dr. Gail Wynn, from Christiana, De., remove a big portion of my stomach. Since then, I have experienced so many funny, strange, crazy things that I figured it would help if I shares some of them. I don't know if anyone will actually read this Blog, but at least I'm getting my thoughts out there. Hope you all enjoy them.

You look AMAZING!!! Way to go!!! It must be great to look at your before and after photos. I took before photos before my pre-op diet but haven't taken any since. I think I need to do it soon as I don't seem to feel any different and I think the photos will help! Keep up the amazing work. You were beautiful prior to weight loss and now you're thin and beautiful.

Way to go!!!! I know how crazy it feels to realize it doesn't bother you. Yesterday I picked up a meal from Burger King for my husband, watched him gulp it down and actually felt sick to my tunny. Usually, I would want my own burger and fries....now, I couldn't wait for him to be done with it so I didn't have to look at it anymore. LOL Keep up the great job!!!

@ Cheri...I know that everything you say is true....BUT, (come on you knew there would be a "but" LOL). it is very hard for me not to worry about my protein goals. Like everyone on here, my classes pounded protein in my head. I wish I liked cottage cheese, but I've hated it since I was a child. My sister, who had by-pass, and I spoke last night about my options, and she recommended "tasteless" protein to mix in with other foods. I love beans, so I will start preparing more than Lima beans to have. I also thought about chili with beans. That way I get some meat and some beans in me at the same time. I also thought about chicken and white bean soup. I am going to try some new things today and see how I do with them. I am also going to try to not focus on getting my protein in as much as I have. I don't want to resent my decision so I need to "calm myself" and just do what I can. Thanks for the motivation words....I will try to keep them in my thoughts.

@jdherin, I am allowed any food as long as it's liquid or pureed. No sugar is even better. LOL

My husband was the same way. I have to say, my husband was more attentive than the nurses. He is the one that would unhook me so I could go to the bathroom or for a walk and then hook me back up. I had told him I didn't want him there all the time, but now, I don't know what I would have done with out him there. He showered me with love and care and trust me, he's not the nursing type so it was nice to see his soft side for two days.

@lilajane I thought the same thing before surgery. I will say that I have only had one real craving that caused me to have to get up and leave my surroundings. My husband and my father were both eating a peppermint patty and I wanted one SOOOOOOO badly. Other than that, I don't really crave anything. Once you have this done, you are full almost all the time, so the idea of taking in any other food doesn't really happen that much. Good luck on your surgery and let me know how you do. It's so exciting to finally get to the point of getting it done....I only had one regret...when I woke up post op and the pain was so bad (becasue they messed up my meds) I thought, "Why did I do this, I shouldn't have done this." It was mostly because of the pain. Since then, not one regret. I figure the months of being a little uncomfortable is nothing compared to the years of feel uncomfortable around strangers or when I was out with out with my thin friends. And this time, I will feel so much happier once it's all done that the little bit of pain and gas I feel are NOTHING. Good luck and remember, it's not easy but it's not the hardest thing you've done either.

I am so going to have to try the isopure. It will give me something else to drink besides the smoothies I make that can give me protein. I have never heard of them...thanks for letting me know about them.

My doctor has me doing the same thing. She just wants me to "loosen it up" if I can't handle it. I've been lucky and I can get things like that down with little issue. If you are having issues with what she has you eating, call and ask for other options. Good luck.

I am 10 days out today and I am doing really well. I have been able to get my protein and liquids in the past three days. I have never had any really bad pain (after the first two days in the hospital)....to me it felt like bad menstrual cramps. I am finding that I have to remind myself that eating 2-3oz of food will take me 30-60 minutes. It's such a HUGE change from the way I used to eat. The feeling of the food "dropping straight down to your stomach" seems to get better every day. I walk all the time and I feel that has helped me with all the gas and the pain. It really helps to walk after you eat as it seems to get things moving and not just sitting in your tummy. It really is neat how much better you feel every day. I remember my first day (right after surgery), thinking "why did I do this? The pain is HORRIBLE!!!" And now, I have no regrets and the pain is more or less gone. I was even able to sleep on my stomach last night!!!!

my smoothies are made with greek yogurt and soy milk...so I get lots of protein in with those. I totaly understand that the repetitiveness and boredom will help me in the long run...it's just hard. I never really ate much prior to surgery...but I enjoyed large meals and I liked to snack. Now, I don't even like to eat my "meals". I know with time, I will feel better with it all. I just need to accept the repetitiveness of it all. Thanks for your post...it helps to know it gets better.

my husband stayed in the room with me. The had a pull out "bed". We live 1.5 hours away from the hospital we used. We got lucky as there are only two rooms on the whole wing with them. It was not comfy at all and he did not sleep well. The hospital where I was has hotel vouchers for family. They are local hotels that offer a big discount for family members. He was going to stay at the Hilton for only 70 a night (it is usually 170) but he decided to stay with me. You can see if your hospital offers the same type of thing. He didn't really bother me at all. He played on the Ipad and phone and watched TV most of the time while I walked or slept.

Sounds like you're doing really well. My first day home was the worst. I couldn't get anything in me except some crystal lite. I started walking as soon as I could and have built up to between 2-5 miles a day. I walk after EVERY meal as it's the only way to get the fullness and gas pains to go away. I believe my walking has really helped me heal faster than I expected. Keep up the great work!!!! I have one question...what is isopure? Also, you are handling more iquids than I can at one sip. I can barely get 1/2 an ounce down at one time now. I usually take the ounce cup and it takes 3-4 sips to get it all down. Good luck and keep up the great job!!!

I am going insane. Around every time I have to eat, all I want to do is cry. Is anyone else having problems finding things to eat? I have had the exact same thing multiple times a day since last Saturday. My day consists of this. Wake up, make myself a smoothie. Drink 4-6pz of that and use it to hide my meds....then I drink crystal lite and more of the smoothie until lunch time. Lunch and dinner consists of 1-2oz of tuna fish, and 1-2oz of lima Beans...sometimes I will get in less than an oz of apple sauce. Then at night I have more smoothie with my meds and crystal lite. I want to eat other things, but I just don't know what I can eat that will give me as much Protein in one meal. With 2oz of tuna and 2oz of lima beans, I get 16-17 grams of protein. Can you all help me please? I have only been out of surgery for a little over a week. I don't want the little food I do eat to make me cry and I don't want to be sick of the little bit I can eat. I did have an egg with cheese this morning...but I'm not a big egg fan w/o bread....and as we all know, I can't have bread. LOL. Thanks for any help you can give me.

@ NancyJerry, Thank you so much. I fell in love with my dress as soon as I saw it on the rack in the store. @Lissa, I am with you, if anyone had told me I would be walking (and wanting to walk) this much only 10 days out, I would have thought they were crazy. It's amazing how much a little bit of movement can really help. You sound like you're doing wonderful with your work outs!!! I can't afford the gym right now, but I am so excited for summer to get here so that I can get in the pool and do some low impact exercises. As for my husband, I should have explained it that a little better. He has only said something the first few days home from surgery....when I went from .25 miles to 3 miles in a day and a half. Once I told him I wouldn't do anything I couldn't, he backed off and has supported me through it all.

Congrats on your sleeve. The only thing that helped me was walking. I walked ALL THE TIME. I had my sleeve done on the 12th and am now walking 3-5 miles a day...not all at once, I break it up between 4-5 walks. It is the ONLY thing that helped get the gas out and I also think it helped me heal much faster than I expected to. It's been almost 10 days, and I am already getting my protein and liquids in. When I started, I couldn't even get an ounce of liquid in me with out feeling "overly full" and bloated. So, I say walk as much as you can....where ever you can. I live in a Condo and my first two days home, i walked in circles until the gas moved and I felt better. Good luck and let us know how you are doing!!!

I had my surgery on April 12th and I know exactly what you are taking about. The ONLY thing that helped me was walking. I walk all the time. I walk in the morning, afternoon and evening. I walk after I eat so that my body can move the food along and I don't have the gas. All this walking has helped me heal much faster and it has also helped get rid of all the gas from the surgery and any air I take in while eating or drinking. When I first started, I didn't walk that long a distance at all. But each time I go out I try to do a little more. Once I saw how much it helped, I wanted to walk all the time. MY husband finally had to tell me I was pushing myself too hard (this is a trait I get from my father...LOL). Good luck, and trust me, it does get better!!!!

So happy I am not the only one. I was thinking that this is the first time in my life where I haven't had any processed types food and I am sure that my body is in shock. I know it's not going to last forever, and I do tell myself "this too shall pass" but sometimes I catch myself after I've already "attacked" my husband. LOL I feel so sorry for him. Thanks, it's nice to know it's normal. I will talk with my doctor at my follow up next week. Maybe it is my hormones.

I had my surgery eight day s ago and a couple of days ago I noticed myself going from one extreem to the next emotionaly. I have no history of this before the surgery. I was wondering if anyone else expierenced changes in emotions after surgery and if it's something that "works itself out" or something I need to worry about. I do not feel depressed. I am not craving food. I have no regrets about doing this..... I am sick of liquids and pureed food but not to the point of depression. I feel so sorry for my husband. I think if I don't get myself emotionaly stable, he may leave me LOL. The poor man seems to get the majority of my "moods". Is this normal? How did other peopel work through it? I exercise 3 times a day with walks and it helps while I am outside, but it doesn't last long. PLEASE HELP. I love my husband, and I hate knowing I'm keeping him on egg shells. Thanks.

I take metformin for my borderline diabetties. The good thing about the drug is that you can't take too much. If your body doesn't need it, it doesn't process it. Just thought you may like to know this. I was on it for years and just found this out in the hospital post op. LOL