tmorgan813

As many of you know, I have eaten the same thing for three weeks. Most of the time, it was the same thing two times a day for three weeks. Well, all that changed today. Today I made myself chicken salad. I put the chicken in the magic bullet and added some onions and celery (very finely chopped) and a little mayo. And, in case you were wondering, it tasted amazing!!!! Not as amazing as my husbands mashed sweet potatoes with cinnamon, nutmeg, all spice, and splenda. That was heaven. It was almost as good as carrot cake. Side bar* I love carrot cake. Actually, it's more than that. There is nothing better than a moist carrot cake with really good cream cheese icing. The way it melts in your mouth!!! YUMMY is all I can say. * side bar done. And, as you can tell, being almost as good as carrot cake is like wining the Kentucky Derby if carrot cake is the triple crown. So, today I enjoyed two very yummy things that were not bad for me and I felt full after eating them. My husband's mashed sweet potatoes not only took care of my starch craving, it also took care of my sweet craving. He seems to know just what I need and how to give it to me when I need it. Even when I have no idea. I don't know how he knew what I needed. Maybe I was getting cranky again or maybe he tracks my cycle unbeknownst to me. But all I asked for was sweet potatoes and he somehow took them and made them so much more than I could have even thought about wanting. I know when I read this to him, he's going to be like a kid in a candy store hearing all this positive feedback, because the one thing he loves it to is cook. But what he loves even more than that is me liking what he cooks. So, Scott (my husband) just so you know, you are an amazing cook and you surprise me all the time with your ability to take something so "everyday" and turn it into a "vacation". Now that all the mushy stuff is out of the way. No pun intended with the mashed potatoes. I did have one strange thing happen to me today while I was enjoying my new food. First, you have to know that after almost a month, I still can't really tell when I am full. I know it takes awhile to figure this out, but I have so many strange sounds and feelings, that I don't know which ones mean what. So, today I was eating my YUMMY chicken salad and I had eaten about 1.5ounces. I figured I could eat the other .5 ounces with out issue. I knew I was close to being full just due to the amount I ate not because of any magical feelings I had. So, I took my last bite and BAM...I felt like everything in my stomach (all 2.5 ounces of it) was going to make a reappearance right there on the table. I ran to the bathroom and experienced the spitting and salty mouth but nothing else. After about three minutes of spitting, I felt fine. Has this happened to anyone else? I was so shocked by it all. It was the first time my body has said, "Hey Trish, you ate WAY too much and I can't handle it." I wanted to scream back to my body, "Hey Body, NO, I really didn't. You just don't know how to handle more than 2.5 ounces of food. Maybe if you didn't allow a surgeon to take 2/3 of your stomach away, we wouldn't be having this issue." But then I remembered that I am the one who asked the doctor to do that...so I would lose that battle with my body within seconds. For the record, I don't like to lose....unless it's weight. So, I learned two very important things today. Number one: I can only handle about an ounce of chicken salad at a time. Number Two. I will have to make sure I have sweet potatoes on hand at all times. Then again, if I don't maybe my wonderful husband will create another food miracle Humm, that's a tough one to decide. I really like the sweet potatoes, but maybe there is something better....just not as good as carrot cake.

Guess what?!!! My husband gave me my scale back. Not sure how long I have it for, but at least I have it for today. So, after doing my morning bathroom ritual, I weighed myself. I am down 2.5 pounds since my last weigh in. Talk about feeling good about what I'm doing. It was so nice to see a change after all those times I got on it with no changes. It's sad and funny how a little thing like a scale can have such a huge impact on our emotions. If it doesn't change or heaven forbid it goes up, we are worse to deal with than someone going through menopause. But, if we lose, even if it's just a little bit, we are on the the complete opposite side of the spectrum. We are the life of the party. We are handing out hats, blow horns, and pureed cake (for all the other people). How did we every get to a place where a number would have such a huge bearing on our emotions? Did it start when we were little and we looked through Seventeen, Cosmo, or any other magazine that told us what a perfect body should look like? Did it happen when we had to get weighed in middle school in front of all our class mates? We were able to see what the average weight for people in our grade was (mine was 65-70 pounds), and how off we were from it (I was 100 pounds) and yes, I was considered FAT. It could have also came when we had to do the physical fitness thing for gym. I remember having to do pull ups and not being able to even bring my body up a little. Or the sit ups. How many can you do in a minute? Apparently I couldn't do nearly as many as the thin person next to me. What the rope climb? I couldn't even get to the first knot and it was right off the ground. Then there was the mile. Most people ran it in 8-10mins. I "ran" it in 20. Only to be told how I wasn't even close to the average. Listen to me Gym Teacher. You should be happy I even ran or attempted to run. I knew I would be the last person in but I still tried. I don't need to finally get through to the finish line to be told had badly I did. Then the worst part about it all? The shower. Trying to hid in the back and keep yourself covered as long as possible. I would jump in the shower when everyone else left and hurry up and jump out and get dressed with little to no time to spare. Having all the thin girls prance around the locker room didn't help me feel better about myself nor did watching those same stick figures weigh themselves and talk about how fat they were. It is so sad how emotionally damaged we all were about our weight and how we looked (even the thin girls). I hope when I have children that I can make them see that they are beautiful no matter what a magazine says and no matter what their friends look like. But I know that media will still make it into her head and she will fight with it like we all have/still do. Now, my second topic of the day. Hopefully not as depressing. I want to talk about the cost of healthy food. I have spent more money in the past month (since I can't eat much) than I did prior to having this surgery. For example. I buy Lean Shakes. On sale, I spent $60 for 24 bottles. That is just crazy. I think GNC knows that we will pay it for good tasting protein. There is no way it cost that much to make and ship. But, what do I do? Do I force myself to drink soemthing I hate with much less protein in it? No, I continue to drink these overpriced high protein shakes. I am praying that once it's no longer the "new thing" that the cost will go down dramatically. Then there is the cost of tuna fish. When did all white tuna begin to cost an arm and a leg? At my favorite store (please hear the sarcasm dripping from my lips) Walmart, I paid $1.85 a can. I swear I am buying caviar not tuna fish. There is no need for my tuna to cost almost $2.00 a can. I remember when I could get the same thing for .25 a can at the local grocery store. What happened to those days. And, for the record I am in my 30's so it wasn't that long ago. Next is fruits and veggies. Why do apples cost .99 a pound? I can't remember the cost of my spinach, but I do know it was high. My frozen blueberries were 11.50 for a large bag. Lima beans are $2 for a small frozen bag. Then, add in the fiber I have to take since this surgery, the vitamins, the calcium, and the B12 and I swear, my wallet and bank account are shrinking much faster than my waist is. No wonder the U.S is so fat. It cost less to go buy a double cheeseburger and fries from McDonald's than it does to buy a salad from Salad Works (or McDonald's for that matter......but we all know that the the McDonald's salad usually has just as much fat and sodium in it as the double cheeseburger). This is just ridiculous if you ask me. Fresh food should not be more expensive than processed food. Going through a drive through should not save me more money than going to the grocery store and stocking up on veggies and fruits and fresh meats. No wonder we all ended up where we did. Everyone wants to save money. No one wants to pay out more for food that may go bad faster than anything in a box or bag. I for one didn't like that idea and because of that, I would go for the cheaper, faster food. Ok, I am done with my venting (some may call it something else ) I am sure I am not the only person who has noticed the cost of things or the need for the scale to give us the approval we never got from other people. I know I can't change any of it, but at least I can get my opinion out there and maybe if you agree, you can get your opinions out there too...and so on. Maybe one day, our children will not need to feel the need to starve themselves, or over eat in an attempt to feel some sort of relief from the social and media bombardment they experience. Woman have curves!!! We have boobs and hips. We have butts. And if you ask me, I think having all those things makes me beautiful. I have no desire to loose so much that I no longer look like a woman. I already miss the boobs and butt I've lost, but not as much as my husband.

Lyra: Hope you feel better soon.

I plan on buying a new pair of good sneakers once my feet heal up. I usually buy a pair once a year. That may have to change with all the walking I am doing though. Glad you are all enjoying the blog. I really love writing it.

I have been walking since I woke up in the hospital. I have walked 2-5 miles a day since my surgery. So why oh why am I NOW getting blisters? As you can see, I have good sneakers (though old) and I wear socks when I walk. So why now do my feet look as though I have been running 10 miles a day? I think it's my body's way of fighting against all this positive eating and exercise. Whoever said eating well and exercising was good for you lied. That person was already thin and didn't have deal with all the changes that come along with changing your whole lifestyle. For example, I am getting pimples in places that shouldn't be getting pimples. I think it's because for so many years the fat covered those areas and now that they are open to fresh air, they don't know what to do. I will say that they hurt and they are never in a place that make it easy to pop them. So, you have to deal with the pain until they decide to pop on their own. Also, the thin person didn't have to deal with chafing. It seems that the more I loose, the more I chafe. I guess the fat kept things from rubbing together and now, there is less fat, so my thighs are rubbing together while I walk, in an attempt to spark a fire. But, the only fire they are starting is the burning sensation of the chafing between my thighs. Not fun. I mean it may be funny, but it's really not fun to deal with. For the record, I didn't think it would be appropriate for me to provide a photo of those things for you to see. I don't want to scare away all my readers. Plus, there is no bigger person who doesn't know exactly what I am talking about. And, if you somehow managed to make it on this site with out ever having chafing, then you are lying or shouldn't be here. Then, to top it all off, the other day I got blisters on the top of my feet. Then today I get them on the back of my feet. Are my feet loosing weight too? I can't figure out any other reason for this happening now. It didn't happen for the first three weeks, so why now? Is my body trying to tell me that my walks are pissing it off? Therefore, my body is going to rebel and cause me pain? I put band-aids on the blisters on top of my feet for my walk today. Only to have to stop in the middle of my walk due to the crazy pain coming from my heals. As you can see from the photo, today, I developed blisters on my heals too. I guess my heals felt left out of the rebellion my body was going through. Not any more. My heals have been welcomed to the party of causing me pain and they are enjoying themselves more than anything else right now. I guess looking good is painful. If it was easy to be thin and in shape we wouldn't have had to go through major surgery to help us lose weight. Also, i have to think about it like this. Is this pain any worse than the pain of wearing a pair of jeans all day long that are too tight? You know what I am talking about. The pair that you had to lay on the bed and suck in to zip up and button. Sometimes we would even get some help with the closure. Once up we would pray that when we sat up they didn't split in half. The pair that dug into your stomach and left the deep red marks?! Those were painful!! At least the pain on my feet and other places will get better as I loose weight. Those jeans never seemed to get looser no matter what I tried. So, I much rather have this pain and know that soon those tight jeans will not fit at all because they are too big. Who would have ever thought that day would come? And, when it does...I will definitely take a photo and post it!!!!

No, not yet, but I have only had it for three days and I really only "play around" with it. I am sure if I watched the video and did what they told me to do, I would see a difference. I will let you know when I see a difference. And, no need to order it. Just go to Walmart. It's only 15 bucks and they have pretty colors. LOL

This actually made me laugh. Too funny. I am looking forward to see how if things in the bedroom are different once I loose a big amount. I am sure it will be and to be honest, I am really looking forward to it. Sorry if that was TMI. hehehehe

I only drank 2-3 ounces every 15-30 mins when I first came out of surgery. Now I can get down 14-20 ounces in about an hour. I don't gulp, but I do crave liquids after working out so I do get a good amount in me in a much shorter time frame. Good luck.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/logout I use it on my computer as I hate trying ot type on my little phone. Hope this helps. Also, there is an app for my phone I love called Endomundo. It tracks your exercise and the distance you went, calories burned, and even keeps a history log of it. Hope this helps.

I had issues with scrambles eggs with cheese (very lightly scrambled) at first. I am 3 weeks out and now I can eat an egg, but I found I don't really like them and it fills me up VERY fast. I've always liked my eggs with bread, so it's hard for me to just eat the egg. I think you try different ways to eat the egg and see. I found egg salad works for me. Not that I am a huge fan of it, but I can get it down. A man in my classes who when through the surgery said he couldn't handle eggs for three months. So, please don't force it. You're body will let you know when You can eat eggs. Good luck.

I went through the same thing. My big issue was the cat litter. I clean it three to four times a day. he cleans it once a day. This drove me crazy. Finally I got up and did it myself. He made a comment about me not being able to bend and I respond that if would do what he said he would, I wouldn't be bending. It took me doing the dishes once and he finally got it. Most men are not like women when it comes to keeping things clean. Right now I have three days of dishes that need washing and I'm ready to scream. He said he would clean them tonight. We will see. I say you need to loose it. Not sure his response, but saying because you ask him to do it, he won't is a cop out. F***** that. It took a week or so, but my husband finally got it. Of course, I flipped out. It doesn't help that our emotions are going through changes and it's like the worst PMS they have ever seen. Good luck.

This is very normal. I have done the same the thing. I learned to say I'm sorry a LOT. I don't know if this is the reason or not, but this is the fist time we have gone with out surgery, complex carbs, or processed foods. I am sure our bodies are going through withdraw. Also, we are trying to get used to dealing with a little stomach, watching what we eat and drink and we begin to realize that our lives will never be the same. I have been out for a month, and I still have my moments but it does get better. Just let your family know you don't know why you are like this and that you are sorry. Keep your head up, it will get better.

@MinaT, I never used it for my food. I just measured everything out on a scale and then when I had left over, I would weigh it again and see how much I ate. I still do this for some things. Good luck. No matter what they say, applesauce is NOT the best way to hide your meds. I have a great smoothie recipe that hides them better than anything I've tried and it has protein!!!! If you want it, I will give it to you. Good luck and let me know how you do with your surgery. Wishing you the best.

Two days ago I posted about my pretty light blue Shake Weight. I wanted to share a photo of that with you so you can how I could be drawn to the pretty color and the shinny ends. Yes, I still use it whenever I get a chance and i do like it. It's very addictive. Hope you enoy my new toy as much as I do..even though you aren't able to play with it. Sorry about that. I'd share if you were here.

I have a problem. It's not a big problem. Some may say it's not a problem at all. However, I feel as though I have begun to let this little thing begin to take control of my life and I do not like it. What pray tell am I talking about? Is it pills? Illegal drugs? Alcohol? The scale (again)? Nope, it's none of those things. It's the one ounce cups they gave me at the hospital. You know what I'm talking about. Those cute little plastic cups that are so clearly marked with 1/2 and 1 ounce for liquids. Yes, those are the ones. I can't seem to drink anything with out using them. I even keep a running total of the number of 1ounce cups I have consumed on a nearby piece of paper. I don't understand why I can't look at a glass or a cup and figure out how much I've had to drink. I know it's not that hard to do but for some reason, I have become reliant on my little one ounce cups. I've even included a photo of my obsession. I don't need them when I am out and about. I can look at a 20 ounce bottle and figure out how much I've had from it. Same thing with my 14ounce Lean Shakes. But for some reason, when I come home and put my liquids in a regular glass or cup, I lose all ability to do simple math and I NEED my handy little cup. My husband is getting sick of my little cup obsession. He has even asked when I will be done using them. I had to be honest and tell him that I wasn't sure. I need to be careful with what i say to him or he's likely to go hid my little cups with my scale and only allow me to use them once every week. Actually, that may be a good thing. For the record, I felt very thin this morning but was unable to check my progress due to not knowing where my scale is. This is getting old VERY fast. LOL So, I have found my new crutch to hold on to for now. My little cups. I have thought about why I need them only at home, and I think I've figured it out. I have to keep a food log for the first two months after surgery (this includes liquids). I am not sure how many of you have to do this as well, but for the record it's a pain in my ever shrinking butt. Before I eat or drink anything, I have to put down the start time, what it is, and then when I am done, I have to fill in out much I've had and the end time. I can't just go get my mush for dinner and sit down and enjoy it. I have to go through all this documenting and by the time I get to sit down and try to enjoy my mush, it's not hot anymore. All I want is hot mush. It's bad enough I am having mush to begin with, can't it at least be mush to my liking? I am sure you are all aware that mush isn't that good anyway so to have to take the extra few seconds to fill out this form which in turn makes it lukewarm, only adds to my hatred or my food log. I don't get much to eat, let me enjoy what I do get. Ok, my rant about my food log is done for now. I am sure it will come up in future blog posts. So, back to my little cups. I know I have to give them up soon. I know there is no real need for me to hold on to them. I wonder if deep down I'm worried about taking in too much liquid even though I know my body will "let me know" if I do. Or it could be that I'm worried I won't get enough liquids in even though I know that's not possible with the amount I drink. So, I am going to make a pack. I am not going to use my cup after I finish with my current crystal lite drink. Just saying that has struck fear in my heart. My inner voice is even laughing me right now. "Come on Trish, you can do this. You drank just fine without these little cups before surgery and you can do it again. So, wish me luck and let me know if you are still using the little one ouncers as well. If so, maybe we can stop together. The good thing to remember is that relapse is part of recover. So if I slip up and use it again, I can just consider myself one step closer to recovering. *side note, I was a Drug and Alcohol counselor for years...not sure how good I was after reading my last few statements* Anyway, here I go, drink is finished and the little cup is going bye-bye. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but now I'm not so sure. As I place the cup in my recycle bin, I can feel the emotions welling up inside. The only thing that is helping me through this (and helping me not take it out of the trash) is the knowledge that I still have a whole stake of one ounce cups in the cabinet. You know, just in case I need them.

I have some SF Popsicle so I may try them. I did have 1oz of lima beans and less than 1oz of applesauce. I ended up bringing some of it up. I think from the drainage from the teeth. Maybe the Popsicle will be better. LOL

I have no idea why I think I can keep doing this to my body. Three weeks ago I had most of my stomach taken out and then today I had two teeth pulled (one on the left and one on the right). To be honest, I think the teeth pulling was worse than the sleeve. At least I got good drugs with the sleeve surgery. Also, I had better doctors who were nice and caring. This doctor was fast and rough and I only like that every once in a while (wink) but not in a doctor's office with a man I don't know. I figure if you voluntarily go into a place where people actually hold you down while another person does soemthing to you, you probably aren't going to enjoy it very much and if you do enjoy it, it's probably not something we should be talking about on here. Needless to say, my mouth hurts and both sides are swollen. The cold liquids feel good but the idea of trying to eat any type of pureed food right now isn't sounding to good. So, because I am not feeling very comical today I wanted to take this time to thank you all for reading my blog. When I started this, I figured no one would really read it but it would give me an out to vent and talk about going through this in a funny way. It was therapy in a way. We all know that if our family members haven't been through it, they really don't understand what we're going through. That's not to say they don't try, but unless you go through it all, you can't understand the ups and downs of our emotions and our scales. That is if you even have a scale. I'm still a little ticked my husband hid mine from me. LOL So, thank you. Thank you all for taking the time and reading my crazy rants. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. Thank you to all the people who leave me comments. I really look forward to reading what you have to say and I love knowing that I can make your day a little better with my words. As long as I can make someone laugh, then I've done my job. So, I will keep writing if you keep reading. Let me know if there is anything that bothers you while going through this and maybe I can write about going through the same thing. Now with all that mushy stuff out of the way, I am going to go ice my face and hope that my body doesn't start turning against me. I have promised it that I won't take anything else out of it (that I know of). Hopefully that promise will keep it working for a little bit longer. But for now, I need to give it what it wants...REST!!! Tomorrow I promise to write something a little more comical and sleeve based....if my body lets me, who knows, my fingers may go on strike because of the teeth. I'll have to wait and see.

I can't believe he did it. My husband actually hid my scale. What am I going to do? Does he not know I NEED that scale daily? I know I read the last post to him, but I didn't really think he would take it away and hide it. I noticed as I was peeing. I looked down and where the pretty digital scale used to sit, there was nothing but an empty floor. Flooring can't tell me how much I way. Doesn't he know this? When I finished, I came out and sat down and had a little talk with my dear husband. he told me he would bring it out once a week for weigh ins. My response (and this is no lie), "What if you bring it out on my 'fat' day"? Then what?" With out missing a beat, he said, "Then I guess I will have to change days." Sometimes I hate him for being so fast on his feet. So, for now I am going through withdraw. Wish me luck. I know I can make it through this, but I also know how hard it's going to be. Anyone out there want to do the once a week weigh in with me? That may help knowing that other people have to wait for their weight too. Let me know and we can go through this together. I still can't believe he did it though. LOL

I didn't have BM for 10 days. I finally called the doc and was told to get some fiber to add to my drinks. I do this and it helps. As for passing gas, I found the more I walked, the more gas I passed. Not sure if you're walking or not but it helped me.

My husband said he would do the post op thing with me too...that didn't last for even a day. LOL He is a foodie and he wanted to eat. I remember taking him to Burger King, and even though the smell and thought of that food turned my tummy, it pissed me off that he could eat it and I couldn't. Also, it showed me that his post op diet was much different than mine. LOL Good luck with your surgery. It gets much easier every day. I know hearing it from all us means nothing, but it is true. Let me know how you're doing with it.

****Disclaimer: As always, this is a comical view on everyday issues that happen to people (or at least me) who have had weight loss surgery. Please do not take this seriously. I just want you to enjoy it and hopefully finish with a smile on your face**** I know I am not supposed to weigh myself every day. But let's be realistic here. I'm fat. I've been fat most of my life. The scale has been the end all be all of weight loss or gain. It's hard to not get on it every morning with the hope that the numbers have gone down over night. It's not that I'm just watching what I eat and exercising. I had the majority of my stomach removed. I eat 400-600 calories a day (if that), and I exercise every day. Because of all this, I expect the scale to go down every day. But much to my amazement, it doesn't. I've already written about how the numbers just don't add up. So, I am not going to address that again (even though I know my math isn't wrong!!). Now I am going to talk about our unrealistic goals when it comes to the scale. Or at least my unrealistic goals. I am a reasonably intelligent person, who is of sound mind and body (most of the time). I know that stalls happen. I know that when you shock your body in the way that I did three weeks ago that my body will fight back. It's going to hold on to as much fat and water as it can as it thinks I'm starving it. I also know that I am gaining muscle which is leaner than fat. Notice how I didn't say that muscle weight more than fat? That because 1 pound equals one pound, no matter what the pound is of. One pound of fat is equal to one pound of feathers. So, for all the people who say this, please be aware that what you are saying is wrong. And, it really irks me. Not that you should care if it bothers me or not. It's not like you're ever going to meet me. But, even with all this knowledge, I still wake up every morning, pee, strip my clothes, exhale, and get on the scale. Isn't it funny how we've learned over the years to do all these little things in an attempt to have the scale read a lower number? And, since three days after surgery, the number on the scale hasn't changed. It's even gone up a pound or two at times. And to be honest, this has caused me more stress than the surgery has caused my body. I don't know how to handle the lack of movement. It's like I'm at a dance and everyone around me is moving and grooving and I am just standing there. I'm not even tapping my foot. It just doesn't make sense and I should be thrown off the dance floor. This has caused me to have some unreasonable thoughts. Am I one of those people that surgery doesn't work for? If so, I'm going to be pissed. Now, not only will I not lose weight, I still can't eat food I like. That would just be a cruel, cruel joke. What did I do to ever deserve this? Am I just doing something really wrong? I am not sure how that's possible as I get my protein in and I do everything I've been taught in all my classes. I've even gone as far to think that maybe I am loosing too much weight that the scale can't understand what is going on so it stays on the same number just "because it can" . I know none of these thoughts make sense. I know I am a fool for thinking any of these but I just can't help it. I am so obsessive about the number on the scale that I have begun to weigh myself throughout the day. Anytime I go into the bathroom, the thing is calling to me. It's like I'm dealing with a possessed electronic device and I've given into it with out any thought or use of any common sense. I swear I hear the voice from the "Exorcist" saying, "Come to me Tricia. Come stand on me. You know you want to. You can do. It only takes a second." Has the scale become my new obsession now that food can no longer be my anchor? And, if so, I have to admit that it's not making me feel as good as pizza, ice cream, or potato chips did. It actually makes me feel worse every time I use it. Then again, the food did the same thing but it took longer for me to feel bad about eating it. Now, I get the bad feelings but non of the reward (aka the good tasting food). So, after great thought and much consideration, I have decided that the scale is the devil. It is the down fall for so many of us. Even the ones who haven't had surgery. And with this knowledge, I've decided to take drastic measures to remove the temptation from my life. So, I have thought about taking a sledge hammer to it. But there are two major issues with this approach. First, I don't own a sledge hammer and if I did, I am not sure I could life it. Aren't they really heavy? Second, after thinking about how much it cost and how much money I would just waste, I just can't do it. I can't waste money so "willie nillie". I don't' know about all of you, but I don't have loads of cash just hanging around. Because of that, I have to take care of the things I do own and there is no reason to damage something I know I will need again in the upcoming months. So, I plan to give it to my husband and have him hide it. That way, I won't waste the money that I don't have to waste nor will I end up in the hospital with my back going out from the weight of the sledgehammer that I don't own. This way, once a month I can pull it out and weigh myself. No, my plan doesn't really "fix" my obsession. But it does take the thing that I'm obsessed with and remove it from my daily routine. I just hope I don't' turn into a "scale fend" and start ripping the house apart while screaming, "where is it? I know it's here somewhere? You don't understand, I need it. It's not bad for me. I promise to just use it this one time." But for some reason, i see this happening. Because, it doesn't matter what the addiction is, we all find ways to make it sound less bad for us. So, I am going to head to the bathroom and pick up the scale and hand it over to my husband. I know he will be able to handle my craziness when I need my "fix". So, here I go, I am just going to march in there, pick it up and hand it to him. After I pee, strip my clothes off, and exhale just one more time. Come on, doesn't every one need that "last fix?"

If you are worried, call your doctor. I started pureed food the day I got home from the the hospital. All doctors are different. As for the BM, remember, you aren't getting in much fiber so you won't have normal BMs. I went almost 10 days with out a BM. I finally began taking a fiber substitute and I feel much better. Don't stress too much. Again, if you are concerned, call your doc.

Glad I could put a smile on your faces. My husband made a good comment today. he said that everyone that goes through this surgery is so freaked out and so emotional, that it's nice to have someone who finds the humor in it all. It makes my day to make you guys laugh. If you keep reading, I'll keep writing. Hopefully I will keep finding the comedy in the everyday things.

@4ALongerLife. Thanks so much for the info. I will have to talk to my doc about those options. I know it will get better once I am able to eat real food. I think the fact that I am still on pureed frood (not even soft yet) that makes it so hard. You are right, I never thought I used food for comfort, but now that I've had this done, I can so tell that I did. I told my husband that I can't wait to have popcorn. LOL I am even looking forward to it with out butter. I will have to check out the website you mentioned. And, I promise to try to be easier on myself...if I can. I have been easier on my husband, so things are getting better.

I don't know why I did it, maybe it was the pretty blue color that was calling my name. Maybe it was the infomercials showing all these woman with great arms. Maybe it was just to try one out and see if it works. Much to my husband's amusement, I did it, I bought a shake weight. My husband found this his opportunity to quote South Park and laugh at my purchase. I have to admit, the Shake Weight episode of South Park is one of the funniest ones I've ever seen. if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. With all that being said, I can now say I am proud owner of a light blue shake weight and despite what the infomercials say, it's not as easy as it looks. First, it comes with a warning. I am not sure what the warning said as I ripped it off and threw it aside as I digressed into a five year old at Christmas and tore the box apart in an attempt to get to my new toy. Once I had it out, I began to shake. I followed the photos that were included in the box and I noticed a few things. First, if my Wii controller comes with a warning and a string to wear around wrist, then you would think and three pound bar that you shake while aiming at your face would come with some safety precautions as well. But it doesn't. Instead, it comes with mirrors on each end so you can see yourself as the bar flies up and hits you square in the mouth, breaking your front teeth, and causing your lip to swell up to double it size. I mean why else would they have the shinny mirrors on the ends? Second, there is NO WAY you can do this exercise with out it looking sexual. I tried. The whole concept is some strange joke on all women. I think it's a ploy for us to be better at using our hands for "massages". If you ask any man, they will tell you woman can't massage that well...even though they tell us how good it feels. I think this exercise bar was invented so that men didn't have to sit (or lay) through a bad massage ever again. Now, think about this. Think about the positions the Shake Weight wants you to do. Each hand, two hands in front of your chest, off to the side and towards your face, and behind the head. Ok, I can't figure out this position, except that it gives men a great view of our chest as it bounces up and down as we are busy trying not to slam the Shake Weight into your head. So, with all this knowledge, I still shake away. I am hoping my arms will become these beautiful cut arms that are only possible with Photoshop. I know it will take a lot of shaking and possibly a lot of bangs to the head and face, but I'm going to get my 15 bucks out of this thing. Then again, it could just be my concussion talking.