4ALongerLife

Thank you all. Truly I appreciate it. Thank you.

Thanks to those of you that did read my last whiney arsed post. I am still worried about the hospital bill, but you know I've been reading some bible entries (no I'm not the most biblical nor the most church going person; however, I'm in a women's study group of "seeing yourself through god's eyes" and it has helped me a bit). I sometimes forget that with my faith, everything will work out in the end. We never have ppl over, it's a rarity. IDK why, we are hermits I guess. But one of the parents that helped us tremendously whenever I was in the hospital for the month of March, we had them over for dinner last night. I didn't know the dad was an atheist. He's been through a lot of physical abuse from his dad in his life and he said that's why he doesn't believe in God. He doesn't understand how a God can let bad things happen to people. Well, you know, I don't either but I told him it made me sad. Maybe I sound naive, but through all of my trials and tribulations, I have been angry at God and pissed at the world before - and God still is there - and He's still blessed me through my worst and loved me through it all. I've seen His blessings in my life. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. One of the passages in the study that I am doing talked of God teaching us all lessons. Perhaps this parent that came over, his was where his lessons crossed and where his dad's lessons crossed as well. A few days ago Passion of the Christ was on PBS. I've never seen it and it was more than 1/2 over whenever I caught it on t.v. It shocked me how terribly they beat Jesus. Ok so I do sound naive, but I remember going to Catholic school for 8 years (as a non-Catholic, yes I was baptist going to private catholic school. Why? I think my parents wanted to keep me segregated. Written with total sarcasm: They loved that I married a black man........ but that's another therapy session/entry at another time...). I never understood the full extent of how they beat Jesus until I saw that scene - I really thought of it as an adult. Why did God allow all of that pain to be inflicted on His son? There was a point at the end - and in a long winded fashion, that's what trials and tribulations are for all of us. Lessons to be learned. Character that is grown through trials and tribulations. Most of us are experiencing a trial in something that we share and that's weight loss (or grrr for the plateau patty's out there like me, the non weight loss at times, double grrr). I just hope most of us have the faith to know that God is there through whatever trial or tribulation. He has blessings in store for us, if we remain faithful. I'm having my moments on hospital bills and life and weight loss. But I will be ok. I know God's got my back, in the end. Doesn't mean the road won't be hard and that I won't cry or whine (y'all forgive me pls for that); however, thank you to those that help pick me up whenever I feel like I can't or that I feel like I am not worth it. We all have our moments..... thank you for picking me up whenever I have mine. OH and btw, I DID get on the scale this morning. I'm down another .5 lb. Dang it, I'm counting it! lol... 59.5 total I think. I went today and tried on clothes at Ross (I am a cheapskate, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ross) - and they all fit, some even being too big. So again to those that have said whenever I have a stall "have you measured yourself?" Well no, I don't measure.. but trying on clothes today SHOWED me keep on going. Remain in faith - you'll be surprised how God blesses you (and that I KNOW for sure). So I hope someone that is in doubt, or may be struggling and may not speak up about it reads this, because I sincerely know how you feel. Remember pls you aren't alone. And thank you to those that lift me up ... thank you much. Ok rambling rita signing off, lol... I wish you all blessings! xoxo PS - OH and I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, I think it's from eggface.... I've been trying to remember this lately: Weight loss is a journey, not a destination. PSS - The other quote I love (and was in my studies, I saw it this morning): This too shall pass. PSSS - And from my yoga class this morning (omg I thought I was gonna die, I wanted to quit at one point, it was hard but I stuck it out, just like life), the teacher was talking about yoga and comparing the stances to trials in life. He had a point. If you aren't happy or satisfied or whatever, stop and focus... not on others, not on what they have or have done, but on you and your blessings essentially... so remember : What is your focus?

So I'm playing the game that I hate. It's "up a lb, down a lb" which is followed by "up a half lb., down a half lb" in my life. Does anyone else experience this? I think I'm cursed. I swear all I see is people losing more weight and I compare myself. Then I think "hello stop your whining you durn cry baby." lol... just being honest. Here's the deal tho... I'm 10 weeks out and after receiving one of two hospital bills for my complications (I had aspriation pneumonia and a leak/abscess after my surgery, then revised surgery)... I'm just really wondering if this was worth it. Don't get me wrong, I know it was but.... if I knew then, what I knew now of my experience... would I still do it? In all undue honesty, yes, probably so. I've been fat since I was about 6 months old. Seriously, I have pix, I should scan them and post them. Not that anyone reads my posts Ok rambling, I just feel lonely in this journey and I'm a bit lost. I don't have a NUT, right now I can't afford one, my new insurance plan doesn't go into affect until June 1.... maybe I'm stuck in pity party central mode tonight, my apologies. Writing is supposed to help, heck how I used to cope isn't an option anymore (hello carbs and sweets, remember those days?). I just wish I could let the worry over all of this go. It's made me feel more anxious than ever and I was craving a big ol' cookie today, so I indulged... too much but it's logged into myfitnesspal dag nab it! But how do I cope with this? IDK... I went to the gym and that's helped some. Otherwise, I type in a journal here (which reads like a bunch of mess that no one reads, damn pity party again grrr). Who else can I talk to about this? Honestly there are very few here that I've spoken to and surely my biatching rambling session is running the rest off. Sigh.... Well SHOULD anyone read this, and IF you do pray, even if you don't know me... please say a prayer for me. I'm being super hard on myself, worrying too much and looking at a few things that are stressing me out seriously (money being the top worry). I'm attempting to fight the demons that got me in this mess with weight as it is, I don't really need more items to push me into failure - I'm struggling enough playing the up/down game enough as is, aren't I? I don't want to be "undone" after having gone through all of this..... Signed, Not the super sleever poster child of positivity ... my apologies.... Pity party is officially over on 5/19, I swear!

Well, I didn't go to Mexico.... unfortunately... and was a self pay. What you've described is applicable to one of my two bills for my complications that I had after my surgery. And my insurance is not helping (I had a stink arse plan, 15 k max benefit as I work as a contractor after getting laid off in 2/2011). IDK what I'm going to do to pay this off. And I'm rather scared & freaking out. I hope that whenever I call the financial assistance personnel on Monday that God blesses me with some better news than I am currently bracing myself for. But I'm glad yours got paid. Congrats.

Ok my friend, BeautyVSG is in school to be a dr. and she told me that your body is used to making more 'tummy juices' based on how you used to eat, prior to surgery. Dr's usually prescribe something if you have indigestion after surgery, which is common. I think maybe, in time, your body will adjust... so maybe I should duck because it's not much help, but I'm trying to encourage you to hang in there. Can I get an A for effort? How about a B+? *ducks upon leaving lol* Hang in there gawgeous!

What about mixing it with Water and some flavor and making your own popsicles? If you have kids (or company), you could serve it to them.....? lol or in my old days, i would have suggested making Jello shots lol

WOW you go girl - congrats!

Well said Lissa! I was scared initially to tell anyone. Not sure if scared is the right word, but apprehensive. I didn't want to hear any negative inputs. I've struggled with my weight since I was 6 months old. Laugh but I have pictures to prove it. My dr. scared the tar out of me, as well as a strong genetic predisposition for a massive heart attack or cancer to kill me. Obesity is a huge contributor to both. The day before my surgery, I told my in laws. It was well received by both, thankfully... my father in law even told me that I should be very proud to do something so courageous. IDK on that but, after having my surgery and so many issues, I didn't care who knew. I am happy to be alive and well now after so much time in the hospital. I can't hide how little I eat as I am full quickly. But then again a "friend" last week made a comment as I ate a small piece of cake..... hello ding dong, that's another reason why I had this surgery, I can still indulge, but on a small level. C'est la vie, you can't win with everyone, but I don't lie well either. Do what you think is right but I do encourage you to try to let ppl know. Until we speak of this more, we can't get rid of the misconceptions about this surgery (i.e. 'the easy way out" - which I assure you from my experience is not applicable). Negative nellies can kiss it, I did this for me and I have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

My suggestions are: Cytosport's Whey Isolate ready to drink (RTD) drinks are better than Isopure in my opinion. I have bought them at Vitamin Shoppe, 3.79 a bottle. It's 32 oz of whey isolate Protein in each 16 oz bottle. Do NOT buy a bunch of anything until after your surgery - make sure you try everything first as your taste does and will change. Cytosport drinks can be bought in singles, refrigerated from Vitamin Shoppe. I personally hated Isopure. And those nasty protein bullets. In my support group last week, someone mentioned that sunkist makes protein bullets that are good. IDK as I haven't tried them, but fyi. unjury chicken soup (just don't heat it above 160 degrees or it'll clump). Unjury also has unflavored that you can mix into crystal light or Jello (mix it with homemade jello). nectar syntax has some flavors that are good mixed with Water ... you can buy them on BJ Bariatrics in a sample pack (it's like 12 for $14). GOOD LUCK!

Walk, walk, walk but I'd recommend not doing too much (i.e. elliptical, definitely not weights) until 6 weeks after surgery. Consult with your physician to be sure. Or maybe I should just have said I agree with y'all, Michelle specifically! lol

Wishing you only the best of luck in your surgery and recovery - as well as the journey! God bless.

I'm glad that's all that's wrong for you! GET WELL SOON!

I don't get hungry like the family does (my husband and child) so yes, I've been guilty of running around on the weekends, forgetting to eat. They remind me though lol....

I take acidophilus (however it's spelled) pearls... but I still am stalling. Not sure if they help or not, or if it's a combination of things? Just remember, if you do stall, it's not all a bad thing. It is giving your skin a chance to catch up with your weight loss and hopefully not sag if you loose too quickly. Ok so it's what I tell myself anyways, sigh....

Money money money.... it's about 1/2 of what you pay in the States, if you go to Mexico.

OMG rofl... well there goes that sexual assault of the hubby thing after his response of "yeah i noticed that a while ago".... rofl. Thankfully he's a master at that lottery playing! Oh and btw, ummm, can you remember me, your long lost cousin here in Dallas, TX so whenever you win the lottery you can include moi on the lift and tuck of my old lady tummy and etceteras as well??? You are always a joy... thank you for that!

I'm a big poster on cytomax, which is now cytosport's whey Protein isolate drinks in tropical and tangerine. I get them from Vitamin Shoppe... they are 3.79 each but it's about 20 ozs of 40 g of protein in a bottle. I say "about" because they just redid the bottles (they have wrappers in black with big white writing of "WHEY ISOLATE" on them). You can buy them at Vitamin Shoppe as singles (in the refrigerated section). Buy one and see if you like them. If you don't, save your receipt because you can take it back (I think it's 30 days from date of purchase, but look on the back of the receipt to be sure). Otherwise, like everyone is suggesting - SF popsicles, SF Jello, clear broths.

I can't add a whole bunch here as eveyrone's already said what I thought of.... myfitnesspal.com but use it on your phone if you can for the scanning option! Makes it soooo easy. I used to journal and it just burns me out. The scanner feature on myfitnesspal rocks. And I now don't journal my workouts ... instead that too is in myfitnesspal. The app gets easier with practice. So I encourage you to keep trying it. There's a screen where you can put the portion sizes in - and you can put in 1/8 of the serving for instance in myfitnesspal. I have a hard time on foods and understand what you said about feeling like I'm screwing up, it's actually what brought me into reading more on your post. I totally understand that sentiment. I still feel like "what am I doing" some days .... and I'm 9 weeks out. It gets easier, but we still have our moments (or maybe it's I was a cash pay and didn't have a NUT... so y'all are lucky). I'm working on changing that currently. Hang in there girl - you CAN do this! And don't force too much food ok? Stop whenever you feel full and speak to your NUT. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all have that to practice right? Best to you! xoxo

Um, Lissa, IDK that I'm that person however.... here's my thoughts: Maybe it's just getting the movement "down"? I have used the elliptical for about 9 years now and I'm a total addict (I was doing 5 miles a day, 5 times a week prior to surgery even!). I still remember the first times whenever I couldn't do more than 7 minutes. It did kick butt. It's alot of movement and you have to find your groove PLUS you have to remember to breathe. I encourage you to stick to it... and remember it takes 21 days to make a habit. Do three minutes then add a minute or two each time on it.... keep it up and whammy, you finally get to more time than you thought! (oh and my ipod has to be on to plow thru the routines) Oh and btw, I still can't jog.. THAT killllllllllls me!

I'm using myfitnesspal to help me track..... dunno if you are using something like that but I love it, it's helped. Unfortunately, it's a numbers game. They say that you have stalls at certain times in this journey... so remember it's patience to reach the goal (or so's I tell myself!). Best of luck to you desertmom!

Ok first, you are totally "normal"! I got thru post op by being in the hospital. Ugh.. yes, I had a leak and an abscess. It totally sucked arse. I was in the hospital 20ish days of the 31 days of March. I was super nervous going thru the food phases, back to solids. Try different things and go back and try the protein drinks in a few days. Your body is changing and it'll surprise you how it reacts one day, then a few days later, it's different. Be patient and kind to yourself. But yes, we've all been there I'm purty certain!

BESTEST of luck to you! (and that's a LOT) I'm excited for you - text me if you need anything and lemme know (heck let us all know) that it went ok and that you are well! Praying for you! xoxo

Sorry I just saw this. It only happens whenever you eat and lasts longer thereafter? I am not in the medical field, so I'm not sure; however, for a minute, I called my dr.'s nurse as I was having this "wringing" affect in my tummy. Each time I would eat, it felt like a washrag was being wrung - that rag was my tummy. Dr.'s nurse thought I had a stricture. That's a narrowing of an opening, in my case, my tummy. I decided to attempt to slow down eating and whammy, that feeling went away. Are you eating/drinking more than you should at a given time? If possible, slow down. Do 1 oz every 15 mins, 4 ozs of liquid an hour. When eating, chew chew chew (if applicable at 9 days out, it was only liquids for me then but IDK about your dr's guidelines, if they are that different). Sorry ... dunno if that helped at all, but was trying!

Good luck! And yes, remember it's not a race, there is NEVER a finish line so enjoy the journey and learn learn learn... goooo sexayyyyyyy!

I hope I never said anything to contribute to your feeling attacked or anything (I don't think that I did, but man, I sure hope not). Hope you don't leave. Your sister is very lucky to have you as a resource.