CowgirlJane

I shall continue to persevere in the battle against these spamming (fill in insult noun)! Well...after I return from a girls riding, glamping (okay it's a luxury cabin with hottub ) and party weekend!

Vent away...then back on track....that's what I do even post op...

You misunderstand me. I want that intimacy but repeatedly select men for relationships who either can't physically or don't want to (emotional/intimacy reasons). I feel very confident in myself in that setting but since I don't want casual sex encounters I never discover this "issue" until we are months into a relationship. First time I thought..bad luck. Second time I thought....what are the odds? Third time I ask myself what am I doing to attract this to me??? Omg...who knew it could be such a challenge to find this? Since becoming single I did see someone for a long term, not a permanent relationship where we had a terrific time. I wish I could find something even close to that good (and he is way older than me even!) who also wants a serious relationship.

Well I have been called a bully for suggesting that following the plan is part of what you signed up for/paid for when you picked a surgeon and surgery. oh well - everyone has to find their own path.

This is one reason most veterans don't stay around. And you get lambasted, called a bully and worse if you attempt to tell people the truth. I went through a time when I could barely stand it, but I cope iwth it now by not reading most of those types of posts. It took me awhile to figure this out, but it is better to let those stil in the honeymoon period respond to all that. Their reality and truth is that they pretty much can do all that stuff and still lose weight. come year 2, 3 etc that is when they will start looking for solutions to a different set of problems (regain for example) and that is when my voice might actually make a difference.

This is complicated. I went through a period of time of feeling like I wanted to go out alot. Here is what is funny, I DIDN'T engage in these behaviors you are talking about - probably because advances triggered the "flight" response in me. I guess I also view casual encounters as too high risk from a safety point of view (I am talking about this on many levels not just the obvious STDs). I did enjoy dressing to go out, going with a safe group of people and spending the whole evening on the dance floor though. I would go out socializing with groups of people (from meetups) but never hooked up or dated any of them. I arrived alone, went home alone - no exceptions. I have had a couple of relationships over the last few years and much to my chagrin, they have generally NOT been wild passionate affairs. Instead I was looking for what was familiar to me - committed long term relationships - and yet I had that same "fear" of settling down that you are talking about so no big surprise I wasn't too successful at finding a match for that LTR. Maybe it is an age thing too - world is full of us committment phobics. So, I am much calmer now, I seldom go out anymore and I have even less desire than before to "hook up" with a stranger (or someone not in a committed type relationship)/. At the same time, I find my "suspicion" about a long term relationship to be persistent. It is not that I think men are bad in any way, it is more that fear of being trapped, not sure I can go through it all again (risking heartbreak etc) I have been seeing someone for about 3 months now and we are good companions, we consider each other boyfriend/girlfriend but we do not have a physically intimate relationship. I find that completely unsatisfactory but it is the pattern I have done a couple of times since becoming single. Go figure. (before you ask, it takes two to tango and I can't make it happen on my own, just trust me on that one) I am told i am attractive, fit, sexy, vibrant blah blah blah... but I have done something to attract a particular energy into my world. I have no answers, and the counselor I was seeing wasn't much help on this topic either.

Maybe I am more of a cautious person, but nobody I have only known for a few months needs to know my life history, my entire medical history or any of that. It takes me a long time to open the door on all that to someone. I realize he may be true love, but it has been my experience that it takes a bit longer to know that.

Be aware that in the early post op weeks your stomach may not have sensation due to nerve damage. I personally would buckle down, avoid restaurants and eat by mesuring spoon and scale until you are more practiced in the art of eating properly for the sleeve. That is what I did...just a temporary thing to help me along.

I did not feel fully human till about 12 weeks post op....hang in there

Hey..I was called out in front of company executives at a little meet and greet for top performers. The woman who did it was mortified as soon as she realized it..it was not her intention to embarrass me but the words were out and everybody was staring at me. I somehow managed to turn it into a story about a personal transformation after a huge personal loss (death of my sister) which was also true. The theme of the meeting had been transforming our business so it fit. So, I get an"audience" with senior executives and I get the spotlight on being half my former size...peachy. I did get compliments on my inspiring story and true listening which seldom happens when a peon like me is in a crowd like that....so I guess one must look on the bright side.

Never click on those weir links. I reported them when I saw them. Alex asked me not to delete posts outright or they would be GONE by n ow..Haha. I am sure he will take care of them soon. Report em if you see this kind of thing.

So the mesh is for hernia repair? I had hernia repair but I wasn't told about mesh or any lifting restrictions once I was past 6-8 weeks.

Deal a meal. ..how can I forget you my little waste of money. I too have no idea if the program was tolerable. .it was like I opened the cards and.lost all excitement.

I would have been outpatient but due to my sleep apnea spend the night with 2 other patients and a nurse at the surgical center.

You ask a complex question but clearly the "reason" is rooted in the physical changes.

I can barely hold myself accountable. .haha.. surgery Dec 2011 now June 2015 and I am within 5 # of goal. I want to be under goal and back to my lowest weight but this ain't bad either. I so understand where you are. .doing awesome but seek the finish line. I took 14 months to lose 150 and had a lull in losses aroung months 8-9 too...

I forgot. ..I tried hypnosis. ..not once, but twice. Wow...what a waste.

I've done most of em...how to choose. Nutrisystem which tasted awful beyond belief. There was the BIG hormone deal where I thought I might die of starvation. Cabbage, the all soup thing. Y o u know the worst diet ever was given to me as a preteen by our family doc. Super restrictive and gross foods like liver. Yuck

You are 3 months post op..... i dont mean to sound like a Debbie Downer but you have a road in front of you before you can declare permanent victory. I mean to say that at 3.5 years post op and I am feeling more and more healed and I didn't have anorexia or bulimia. How long have you been dating him? I don't tell people my entire medical history. I do disclose that I lost ALOT of weight and had reconstruction plastics. My boyfriend never wanted to know more....if he had asked I would have told him. I also haven't talked about the bone infection I had that disbled me for awhile etc....not a secret just not that relevant.

As Julian Michael says "you can eat your way through ANY exercise program" Exercise is very important but as for weight loss...it's all about the food.

Sleeve saved my life and I am a big advocate. However, if you were my kid I would want you to try a lifestyle program first. I believe younger/less obese have a chance at that. If it doesn't work,'bariatric option is still there.

70 percent Of your EXCESS weight, right?

I just got a check for $3.72 for something I don't believe ever hurt me (thank you class action lawsuits). Lapband hurt 10 years of my life...but I bear a role in that two. An apology for dashing my hopes and dreams and causing misery and suffering for a decade would be nice. You can t keep your 3 bucks and change. .

There are many approaches to this..including the "prove you are ready" theory. I came to understand when the disease of obesity becomes really advanced your physical drive to eat is almost overwhelming. At over 300 pounds. ..just moving around was painful. .forget about exercise. Luckily I was blessed with a surgical practice that helped me understand all this and it removed much guilt. I made no progress until I was sleeved and then I kicked butt. Maybe you are one of those?

As I keep saying. ..not the easy way out...for me..the ONLY way out. Heaven knows I tried everything.