CowgirlJane

Wow Georgia, did I read that right... salt is potentially more hazardous than the nitrates? I buy sandwich meat from trader joes to get the nitrate free stuff... oh my, I may need to rethink this. I was reflecting the other day. My moms mom died of cancer at 42 (I believe cervical, but it was ages ago so unsure). My mom got cancer (malignant melanoma) in her 40s and eventually died of related complications at 74. My only full sister (I have a bunch of half siblings) died of breast cancer at 39. I am 49. Maybe i should think more seriously about cancer prevention. Thanks for posting all this.

One of the issues post plastics is that the compression garments sqeeze your tummy and people can't eat as much at once. I was hungry ALOT so I ate more frequent tiny meals and had a lot of Protein drinks. Alot of people go into mega burn post plastics too which I must have since I didn't gain weight and I ate CONSTANTLY I was so hungry. I guess I am one of those people who will never have problems with anerexia or losing too much weight or anything like that. My body gets to feeling a little under-plenished and I get HUNGRY. Once I got to my initial goal of 158 I maintained there for 6 months before dropping another 10. i am maintaining in the range of 146-152 these days just as easily as I maintained 158 but I think that it helped that I took a little break from losing. My body has a real survival gene I guess - it lets me know when the calorie bank is running low. I really wonder and find it puzzling in many ways that people who had such a high burn pre-op or for whatever reason find that they can't stop losing now. I am very supportive - don't get me wrong - I have a close friend who works so hard to keep weight on (he is older and naturally skinny and drops weight when anything bad happens) I get it that it is a very serious problem. It is just so foreign to me that it is hard to even understand it. I hope that people who do struggle with this realize that we do SUPPORT you because we all have some sort of issue with food and weight and what we all want is a healthy, comfortable relationship with food and weight. I just don't always understand it. I do however know how I gain weight... carbs are the secret to my weight gaining success. Not only do carbs tend to make me gain weight, they also make me hungry so I can keep gaining. It's great to know I have a good backup plan should I ever get too thin. (crackers, Peanut Butter, high carb Protein Bars, sweet fruit especially juices - doesn't even need to be unhealthy carbs, any will do!)

Oh and 151 this morning...back in business! I want to maintain under 150 and am almost there. That rapid bounce up shook me up a little!

Yesterday was telling my son about injury caused by the personal trainer and he said "the problem is you look WAY younger than your age and so he treated you like you are 35" Wow that was nice to hear! but my injury is still killing me.

I don't take anti depressants and I dont think I am depressed but I do at times struggle with blasts of feeling blue. I wanted to talk about it here because I am trying to understand what is happening to me and think you are all tremendous resources. What happens is that I get short lasting periods of feeling pretty down. It might last 30 minutes ....extreme case it might last a day. Weird thing is it is never triggered by bad news or some concrete clear reason but there must be some cause. My situation is getting better, not worse but I want it to be gone...lol...So I am asking for advice. I also went through a period of really bad anxiety but that is pretty much better too (ie I get infrequently anxious over things that scare me rather than unknown so I consider that normal) Counslor I sometimes see thinks it is a sign of growth. I buried alot of pain under obesity and food and now I am wrestling with"meaning of my life" type questions rather than worrying if I will fit in a chair or airplane seat. I have moved up the maslovs needs hierarchy. I think she is right because I do find myself examining my life, eliminating people and activities that are negative and adding people and things that are pleasing. Good stuff but a truckload of change. I find myself working hard to let go of my grown sons and accepting that they need to make their own mistakes (I just ask they make different ones..Haha). I find myself facing that my life is almost unrecognizable from say 5 years ago. It's only partly weight loss related much of this change is age related normal life progression and some of it is me fixing some pretty broken things (work in progress). My medical doctor thinks it is mostly hormone related. I wake up every night and somtimes have serious sleep issues. She thinks hormone things are triggering adrenal surges which is why I am sometimes wide awake for hours. that is under much better control now but I was up most of Saturday night with a tummy problem and was just depressed all day Sunday. I slept great last njght and feel great emotionally and a little better physically so it was excellent evidence that sleep deprivation can trigger the mood swing. The fact that I am sleeping better in general AND that my little blasts of the blues are reducing is also more evidence for this. A close friend is absolutely convinced it is hormonal too because of experiences with other women my age. I went through menopause in my early 40s...very young. I have always believed it was triggered by the devastating tragedy of my sister's horrible illness and eventual death. We were like twins...very bonded...and losing her lin 2007 left a hole in my life. Oddly I did not really experience menopausal symptoms until after weight loss. I think my fat was like taking hormone replacement. I don't have hot flashes but do now experience some other menopausal symptoms so it could be that this is absolutely the cause. Anyway I am not dead set against taking anti depressants except I am not depressed and I don't want to mask symptoms I want to resolve them so my remaining years are the best they can be. Would love to hear how others have experienced this. I look back and I do feel in my heart that I am getting better and more resilient as time goes on. I am less concerned with how others see me and really developing a stronger inner confidence. I hope this means that I will work through this issue too. I am not sure it is weight loss related EXCEPT I know I used to go around pretty numb much of the time and life is in Technicolor these days. It's good, it's GREAT but it's also alot if you know what I mean.

I eat alot of meat...buy sandwich meat from trader Joe's for example. I don't track food but I worry about the sodium too. I don't like most salty tasting food but I know sodium is in my meat based diet. Georgia I didn't know about the cancer link....any more info on that?

Oh Denisee was wondering if you would post on this private board your face before and after photos? Also you must have retired young took, right?

Swizz I know the feeling of trying to find your grove again. I have lost muscle tone but nobody seems to have noticed but me. I think once you restart you will bounce back to fitness easily. Well unless you get injured like I did. I think I need to have it imaged. Florinda what a great opportunity to see the pattern and change it now. Congrats!!! Daisy I am glad you mention the ED because Steven does NOT have that issue so I am pretty unaware of it. Thing is I just don't have it in me to search for a real boyfriend OR make the compromises needed. Example I met someone who is amazing in many ways but he is 20 years navy and now works for FEMA (all good) by I can tell he is uber organized precise and self disciplined. My ways will drive a guy like that crazy. I know I could start something up with him (or David the self centered ultra conservative) but I just CAN'T deal with meeting someone halfway so to speak and I know it just won't workout more than a little while due to that so I am better off just focusing on me for now I guess. As time goes on I am less interested in a partner. I wish I didn't care about sex and then I think I would be just done with the whole relationship deal. Yesterday I felt blue and depressed. It was caused by lack of sleep as I was up about 10 times Saturday night going to the bathroom. Sunday was beautiful weather and yet i couldn't make myself do anything useful or fun. I seem to feel better today on all dimensions and found it very interesting how strongly I correlated exhaustion with feeling depressed for a day.

Did gamer girl disappear too?

Sarah I am so sorry. .I know how tough this is. Good news.. 151 this morning so I guess my mega gain was water. Ironically I increased carbs (healthy) and overall consumption and the water shed. I woke with a nasty feeling tummy and had diarrhea much of the night. There goes my skiing plans. I am anxious about skiing anyway and surely don't want to do it feeling icky. Thinking today might be a good fast day. Sorry I meant to address an earlier post to coops and I said cathy. Braindead. Enjoying the photos! Well should history repeat itself. ..every time Steven feels too close he pulls back. I can't figure out why that hasn't happened yet since he has been much more in touch for quite awhile now. I am not worried about it. .. we both have our demons. I keep hoping mine are getting better...less demonic so to speak. ..but I figure he is quite set in his ways so I have no expectations. As he has said, he always disappoints....well at least he is honest about it. Spending a week with retired people opened my eyes about our age difference too. He is so fit and still very sexual - good genetics and active lifestyle but he is 66 for cripes sake so I still see this ending sooner than later. Just enjoying it for what it is. honestly I felt so affection starved from my last 5-10 years that having this has kept me from doing things I would likely regret....

We have several people 3 or 4 years out and at least 1 that is 5. Our 5 year person re lost a small regain and is a successful maintainer. Trouble is that forum participants are a self selecting group. ..not really a balanced view. Stats show people typically regain some weight in the years post op but MOST who were initially successful keep most of their weight off. For someone like me who was really bad off...twice the weight I should have been, this surgery was a life saver. If I had only 50 to lose, I personally wouldn't do it but not everyone shares my opinion.

Band2sleever you make many excellent points. Reality is that when first sleeved, you almost can't NOT lose -the sleeve does most of the work really. Overtime most people find it becomes less the sleeve doing the job and more on the individual. I do 5:2 and I would say that most people 2plus years out find they have to"work it" however it is not as hard as I struggled to stay under 300 pre op. The sleeve is an effective tool BUT it is only a tool. I had the band for 10 years and really wasn't too successful. I have been sleeved since Dec 2011 and am maintaining 160# lost(from 308 to 148). Lots to say about that but I believe that getting to goal inspires me mightily whereas I never got under 200# with the band. Also want to mention that the veterans forum is very educational to read but is intended for vets only to post...this is the right place to post this question.

I volunteered to be a host for the plastics or vets forum but Alex didn't choose to take me up on it...dunno why. I had a couple of fabulous days. Thursday night Steven showed up at my house unexpectedly....it was cool as he has never done that before. Friday I was supposed to go skiing but it didnt work out so had dinner with my friend Mary and told her all about Mexico...So fun! We are both gonna look into how single women can retire or semi retire as snowbirds with our critters (horses, dogs and in her case a goat)' Saturday we went on our first trailride of spring. It was so fun!!!my new mare, Mia was in season but her behavior was near perfect. One of the reasons they gave her to me for free is she was supposed to be bitchy mean when in season but she was a doll. I scored big time with that beautiful horse! We stopped for a drink and shared an appetizer (dinner) at our favorite place...dressed like the cowgirls that we are. Saw some of our acquaintances there and had a gas. I have a pretty good life. I read all your posts...more replies later - but Cathy I gained like 8 pounds in just over a week....yeah I was on vacation but that seemed insane! Jury is out on that progesterone cream for me (I am so dedicated to not gaining weight!!!) but I have been sleeping well....

I just started progesterone cream and my weight went up too. I had no idea it caused that. I am on it because my medical doctor is convinced that my waking in middle of the night is due to adrenal surge caused by hormone issues. I'd rather be tired than obese again so I won't use it if this continues I n any way. Does the progesterone cause hunger?

Weird...my scale is so consistent I sometimes wonder if it's broken. Haha. I have tried putting my feet in different spotd, going pee, drinking water...weight doesn't vary with repeated weightings.

painful... and you know what the other impact of this is? people who are a little overweight get obese by not accepting their natural body size and doing yo-yo to try to get to some idealized size. I was never a small person... even now at goal, I sometimes feel fat compared to naturally slender people. I am lucky that I have a good support network of people around me who make me believe and truly feel that I am "just right for me". (My example, on a recent vacation destination I was surrounded by unbelievably thin women and it is easy to get caught up in that comparison cycle) Basing your ideals on runway models and movie stars is just cruel. I do think "healthy thin" is really a good thing but it doesn't mean we should despise the obese or expect everyone to look the same. Very sad.

I was scared to death... of many things including regain. Hang in there and keep coming back for support. I am so glad I faced my fears and did the surgery - my life is 1000 times better at half my former weight...

I had plenty of self doubts, especially since I was NOT a success story with my first weight loss surgery. I think the positive thing to do is turn that "bit of fear" into a healthy respect for the life long diligence this will take to maintain. My surgeon told me in my one year follow up appointment that year 2 and 3 were just as important as year one. Year one is all roses and smiles as you lose the weight and feel great.... and then comes maintenance. He reminded me that I have the disease of obesity and that WLS has helped me get my main symptom (excess weight) under control. BUT to never forget, I still have the disease of obesity and always will... and that fat would love to move back in. My surgery was Dec 2011, I have been at goal since Feb 2013 and i remain diligent and still maintain a "healthy fear/respect" toward the threat of regain.

Congrats on your amazing success! I think you should start documenting as has been mentioned AND consult with some local plastic surgeons. Most of them do consults for free... and I would look for someone who has a good history with massive weight loss patients. Realself.com is a good starting point to search for docs, see photos etc. I too have heard that it is sometimes done in stages since a very large panni is physically uncomfortable and can impede you from exercise. It is my understanding that it would be possible to "revise" and do a real tummy tuck or lower body lift once you get to goal if you want to - but those are questions for the surgeons. Again, consults are usually free and very educational... Good luck!

I think you look wonderful already - if it were me, I would NOT do this full body lipo. I did not have lipo since I didn't really have excess fat (I had excess skin) but have talked to enough people to know it is very painful and actual results can vary... in fact some people have awful results. Another thing to consider is this... if you think the way you look now needs overall head to toe "fixing"... do you think you would be happier after painful and at least somewhat risky lipo? I only mention this because I think that it is important to have the body dismorphia/self image issues worked out in advance because there is always SOMETHING that is less than perfect. That is why some folks seem addicted to plastic surgery... just another little fix will make me better kind of thought pattern. I have no idea if that applies to you, just food for thought so to speak. Anyway, congrats on your results - you really do genuinely look great!

In all honesty, there are some people who it does NOT work for - over the long haul. There are probably complex reasons for that but I have been around long enough to know that it is the truth - not everyone finds success from WLS. I had the lapband for 10 years and ended that stint much heavier than I started. I have lost about 160# and have been maintaining at goal for awhile now. My sleeve surgery was Dec 2011. I think that I never realized how little food I actually need to survive and thrive. I have done weight watchers, i have done medically supervised diets - I have frankly done about everything. I got my sleeve surgery when I was in my late 40s and I will be honest I have been OBESE most of my life - maybe 5 years in total when I was not obese so a true lifer. It wasn't until those early months post op of eating so little (and very high protein/low carb) that my metabolism started to change. I am not sure why it didn't happen like that with the lapband since I ate very little then too and I was younger even. I can't explain it really but the VSG was a game changer for me. A key difference is that I picked a surgical practice with alot of follow up and education. When I had the band I really didn't understand my carb sensitivity and did not have the support I needed so I guess for me the whole package (surgery, education, follow up and support) was the game changer. Now, having said that... I am maintaining in the general range of 150 now and it takes some effort. Sometimes it seems easy and then my weight bounces a few pounds and I have to work it to get it back down. HOWEVER, it is easier for me to maintain at 150 then it ever was just trying to stay under 300#. I worked hard to stay under 300# and ultimately failed at that... again, I can't really explain it except to say that success breeds success. Good luck with your decision, it really is taking a leap of faith and the ultimate answer as to whether to have WLS or which procedure is best for you is very individual.

Florinda, I think it is really great to self examine those "triggers" maybe that is the key to long term solving of our addictive natures... to understand it so we can manage it. I think for me alot of it is just knowing that my old way is to bury feelings and needs and food helped me cope with that. I wasn't/am not so much a binger but probably a comfort eater. I was once told that I used food as a mood stabilizer. That explained one reason why I could do awesome losing weight but just could not maintain ... when I felt the need to adjust the ballast food was the only way I knew how. And then, as we all know, once you start using comfort foods, then the physical addiction/carb sensitivity kicks in and you are just darn HUNGRY 24/7. So, I have two key things to manage 1. self awareness of my feelings/needs and finding ways to express and get those needs met (ie not food!) and 2. carbs (to control physical hunger). I believe certain people came to me at certain times for a reason... and on the topic of honesty this is where Steven comes in. I have never ever ever in my life (outside maybe my deceased sister) felt like I could just be myself with someone 100% and still be acceptable. I was raised in a shame based way - my dad was horrible about that and I carried it with me - feeling shame for just being me. I don't blame anyone else - I just needed someone with an over the top personality to bring out deep honesty in me. That guy will tell you anything about himself, about his kids whatever... no shame. I can tell him anything about myself and I never feel shame. I had this a little bit with my EX in our early days, but Steven is 100% and often tells me stuff there is no reason to share with me - just his nature and due to the special nature of our friendship I guess it is a safe place for him too. anyway, I have been practicing this basic sense of openness, vulnerability without shame with lots of people and I can see it working. It needs to be situationally appropriate - don't get me wrong - but to have someone call me after a meeting to admire my humbleness and yet asking tough questions in a way that really brought out true issues... it is feedback that I am changing inside in a way that I like. Denise - I am so glad to hear that things are working out well with Bill. Any improvements on the sleeping / CPAP issues? As far as David - I have decided he is kinda self centered. About a week before I left, he cancelled a little date we had planned at the last minute because he was invited to BB King. I don't fault him for that.... but then it was like he forgot i was leaving as he took it for granted I would just be there when he was ready to go out. His back was hurting and stuff like that. Ok, no problem - i am gone for 9 days and never get an email or a text. I didn't hear from him when I got back and decided to not be passive aggressive so I left him a message that I was back because he likely forgot my schedule. A few days later, he texts me that he is busy and will call me Friday. So my read? I am so low on the priority list that he can't spend 2 minutes giving me a call. I guess this is why you date - I find him to be charming and handsome and he surely has money BUT, I think he is showing signs of being a self centered jerk and I don't need it so I am done. I admit my own motives in considering him as a possible guy to see in 2014 were the wrong ones - he has means and claims to have time to travel and vacation together and do stuff I want to do... I think I was too willing to overlook the basic character and consideration to get that benefit. So I am glad his general lack of empathy and interest in me as a person has come out so early - I don't want to even casually date someone who thinks so little of me. I was suspicious that at age 61 he has never been married, I think he is used to women being a bit at his beck and call - well I really don't know what to think but that ain't me. Oh, and just ignore the 5:2 requests - they will forget. So, this morning the scale rewarded me with a few more pounds gone... yeah! It sucks to be so water bloated. I am down to 154 now... heading the right direction. I never complain about my weight or looks outside this group (I hate women that do that) so Steven didn't know that I feel like a stuffed sausage right now... last night he told me that I looked better than ever, and how amazing my body looks and all that stuff. At that moment, I really wanted to hear that and it just gets my perspective in order. I sometimes still get dismorphia I guess. I think one of the reason I feel so stuffed is that I have alot of numbness in my belling and it feels like swelling even when it isn't that bad - plus I have had actual swelling the last week or so. I am going skiing this afternoon - so better get some work done. Looking forward to hearing from more of our little crew here!

Do you have a Fred Meyer or Krogers around? We have Freddies around here and they sell a yogurt called "CarbMaster" - it is low carb and very creamy. I try to use that as dessert and add a few berries too. I give all this advice - but I am struggling this week myself. I feel better today but just feel like I am not eating quite right yet. Hungry, not hungry, eat too much, eating till full which violates my sleevie rules...all that stuff. This morning I hit 156... yes under my official goal but damn, still 8 pounds up from where i was not long ago... not sure how THAT happened! What I remind myself is that most everybody struggles a little with weight maintenance so we just have to keep up the good fight! I noticed when I was on vacation that all the gringo women (retirees or partially retired mostly) were STICK THIN. I mean really skinny. I felt kinda chubby compared to them and wondered what the heck.... i started thinking about a certain crossroads at middle age many people hit. Spare tire or stay trim. The obese probably just don't live that long. Anyway, it was an interesting observation. I honestly like how I look just fine since a few curves are sexy and womanly in my eyes anyway. Conversely, in the small town my friends live in they estimate that 80% of the local people have type II diabetes. I was shocked to hear that, but they have a real problem with recent influences of colas and other horrible foods becoming central to people's diets and there were alot of overweight local people around. I got a high blood pressure reading at my doc last time. I asked them to retake it 5 minutes later and sure enough... it was normal. I sometimes think that they have you moving around and talking and stuff and who knows what causes variable readings. I used to have borderline BP and have a home monitor (don't use it anymore). One thing I learned is to never trust a single reading... too many reasons it can be off.

Oh, and I am wondering how everyone is doing... been very quiet on here lately!

I didn't read the whole article, but the summary. I think it is very intriguing and interesting. What I would say about myself is I sometimes have some elements of the addictive behavior with food but not all or even most of the time. Example, I do NOT get anxious if planned eating (or overeating) is interupted. In fact, a phone call to a friend can get my mind totally off food. Food I think for me fills a gap at times... but if i can find something better to fill it, I readily do that. What troubles me about myself is that I am often looking for SOMETHING to fill a gap. Slowly, overtime, it is getting better though. The last few days, due to my tummy troubles I have had quiet evenings at home with no need to fill my time, my heart or my feelings with anything other than petting my dogs, watching a documentary or two and just relaxing and getting a decent night's sleep. Then, last night i had to run errands and I did them efficiently without looking for distractions (like clothes shopping, or stopping at starbucks). These seem like small things, but I think it is healthier behavior to not always be looking for something to fill a gap. This is one reason I have quit all the online dating crap as it just seemed like a distraction, and an annoying one at that. I have actually quit or reduced a couple of online things.. as they are time wasters not really rejuvenating activities. My friend in Mexico told me that I seem stressed out compared to how I used to be. I thought alot about that - and compared myself to say 5-10 years ago. My conclusion is that I was the master at hiding how I really felt (stay calm while the Titanic is lurching) whereas stripping away food as a way to manage emotions mean they reach the surface. You know it is interesting, there may be people that liked the obese, calm, cool and collected alot more than the "thin" and more "real" me, but most of the feedback I have received from people is that I am so approachable and real. Even at work, to have someone call me and tell me that he wants me to lead this huge technical project - mostly because I am humble, ask the right questions and create the environment where a team works together. I feel like that is the real me - curious, people oriented and all those things are allowed to bubble up now. I also decided my friend is on retired mexican time which means a big day is going to the grocery store AND roasting coffee beans all in one day..haha.. her point of reference has changed. She had one of the most stressful daily lives when she lived up here of anyone I know. I am continuing to emotionally evolve though and am shocked at how much my mindset has changed over the last year even. anyway, Florinda I am curious if you feel that the addiction description fits you pretty well or ? I am also curious how people really solve addiction issues since I definately have elements of it too. I am not all that certain that counseling does although some of you may have evidence to the contrary.