CowgirlJane

I am maintaining a 160# loss and finally living the active life I always wanted so no regrets. If you search for the word regret you will get people who do share that feeling. Sometimes it is due to complications but I think more often disappointing results...it can happen.

Thank you - I have so many wonderful photos but I cannot figure out how to post directly from my phone to here so I happened to have a couple i had hassled onto my ole laptop. A follow up- a real compliment. One of the techie guys called me this afternoon and asked me to expand the scope of my project management. He told me that he liked my humble style and that i ask all the right questions. He is so frustrated with how this big very complex initative is moving forward - or not - (I only own a portion of it currently) that he is looking for an overall Project manager. I don't think I can take it on due to my workload - but it was quite a compliment coming from that very strong technical team lead.

Georgia is so right. Some foods I am fairly sure I could eat unlimited quantities... So I always think in terms of not so much how much CAN I eat but rather how much SHOULD I eat - but she said it better.

Yeah Georgia!!!! So, I have had a bit of a tummy ache since Saturday. Nothing horrid, but just not 100% - slight headache, a bit of diarrea and what is really concerning that I don't want to go anywhere. i am usually the queen of "go" and I am feeling lower energy. I correlated with a bit too much tequila on Friday but since it is now Wednesday I am thinking that i should be over THAT issue. I am also bloated and fat feeling from the trip, but even that doesn't normally slow me down. I am worried that I picked up a "bug" in Mexico. Drank bottled and purified water but because my friends live like locals we did eat at taco places frequented by locals. I got a good look into one of those kitchens... not the cleanest thing i have seen that is for sure. Monday and yesterday I was unbelievably hungry and ate all day.... munched on veggies if nothing else. Today my appetite is decreased, which is good, but may also be a symptom of something not being quite right. Dang it, how long should i wait before contacting my doc? I am supposed to see Steven this evening and you know I am feeling crappy when I don't want to do THAT....lol. Right now, I just want to take a nap. I had a super stressful meeting today at work... I am taking over a VERY technical project that I don't understand all that well so it is a real challenge. That normally invigorates me but not today... I am just not myself. I still love Mexico and my trip... just feeling icky.

My cholesterol numbers were good when I weighed 300plus and moved to excellent before I hit goal. I too wonder how 5 pounds makes a difference as it doesn't for me. I feel very bloated although yesterday I did a little better on the food.

I didn't get a kitty lift...teehee... but got significant improvement with the lower body lift. My advice to everyone early on in the process, don't worry about what might be... focus on getting the weight off, getting healthy and geyting fit... you don't really know what you will be dealing with down the road.

The size issue kinda stressed me out. Seemed like everybody around me were getting implants much larger than me and I felt sorta worried that I would regret it. Well, one of the surgeons I consulted with gave me good advice that helped me feel comfortable. She informed me that I have an athletic build - broader shoulders and rib cage, narrow through the hips etc. I thought that meant i could handle a bigger implant but she suggested I might regret being even more top heavy than I was. Also, since i live a pretty active life she asked me to consider breast size relative to my hiking, biking, horse back riding stuff. I bought some padded bras and wore them with different clothes. I measured my circumference and really decided on a max measurement I wanted to be. (cup sizes are so varying based on brand it is a hard measurement to focus on). So, I took that tape measure and when they had the fake boobs in, I measured and decided on a relatively modest implant size of 240cc based on that. I am SO GLAD I did this. For my build, I look like i have nice full breasts without looking too heavy. And my jackets and stuff all still fit too. Now in my case I also had a lower body lift so that flatter tummy contrasted with the implants makes me look full enough for my personal tastes and lifestyle. Okay, not exactly a tip, but a warning. Lots of women lose nipple sensation, at least temporarily. I did not, they became hyper sensitive to the touch. Now they are back to normal which is good. Also, recovery from the breast lift and implant was pretty easy compared to the lower body lift so that is good news for you. Mine were put in via the nipples and I have almost no noticable scarring... due to being smaller breasted I didn't need the cut under the breast that some do. Very happy with end results and I am sure you will too!

i just came back from a trip to a warm climate and I never once felt awkward about wearing sleeveless or otherwise dressing in comfortable vacation wear (shorts, tank tops etc). I saw some photos of myself looking alarmingly like a normal person. Even though I have been at maintenance awhile, I still sometimes am shocked that I look okay. The place I went had a lot of really thin/skinny American women (the expats and retirees tended to be quite trim due to the active lifestyle they are drawn to there) so I was feeling kinda fat until i saw those photos and just felt that i looked okay. I didn't lose weight for looks, but it is a real confidence builder to just feel like you "fit in" I even bought a top at a store and didn't worry about if they would have anything that I could squeeze into. So, although maintenance at times is work, it's worth it since day to day life is just better when you are fit.

Globe you are in good company there. Sometimes I can be okay with junk in the house and nit devour it and other days I struggle alot. I know there is a physical component because when I am in a carb bender anything will do...I don't even have to particularly love it. I forget who moderates the vet forum...but there is another preop "ask a vet" post called Any Regrets? I restrained myself from answering the way I feel this morning. "Yeah I at times regret I can't eat junk food and stay at goal" oh wait, that wasn't the question was it. I am a little pissed off and alot tired since coming home. I don't want to belabor the negatives because I have a great life but damn life can be hard at times. I know the solution...healthy routine (food and exercise), talk to my friends, have a productive work day,love on my animals. Those are the key things for me to feel good. Then just fix the pressing problems because I know it's on me to do that. I can, I just need the emotional strength to do it. I promised myself that 2014 is the year of stability. I have had so much change the last few years..which appeals to the Gemini heart immensely...and which at times makes me feel like I could do anything....but also leaves me feeling like the ground under my feet isn't quite reliable. My Gemini heart also often changes what it wants so I know it is better to take a breath before leaping...it has always served me well. So nothing new and big in 2014 but I feel more and more like I need less stuff, less house and fewer daily responsibilities. 2014 is a year of stability AND of getting my life in a more comfortable place. I am seriously considering selling my home in 2015 as I am overwhelmed by taking care of everything. I decided that spring is nearly here and I will be better able to cope once the weather is better. I played alot last summer and this year I want to finish projects and get ready for whatever is next.

I am back but scared to step on scale...retaining water and carb cravings. It's ok had a great great trip. I wore a freaking swimsuit in PUBLIC and nobody fainted. I came home to a mountain of problems that I don't even want to talk about yet. Sorry to read of all your woes too... I wish to share an epiphany. I could retire in central America or Mexico soon. Very soon. And maintain a very acceptable lifestyle. You know what I would have to give up? My ability to support and bail out other people (kids, men, other family etc) like I have done my whole life. The idea frightens me...which I find an interesting self awareness observation. I am not taking any actions on any of this....just sayin.

You all heard me whine about how slow recovery was..seemed like forever. I just got back from vacation now at 5 months post op and I can say the results were worth it!!!! Patience really counts in recovery from LBL.

Heading home tomorrow. .it's been great!

I don't understand the benefits pre surgery. I do not like to do major new things right before major surgery. ..but that's just me

Mexico is sunny and warm and full of fun people...retirees mostly where I am staying but also surfers and other beach bums. I have been so hungry and over eating that part is terrible though.

I was told that hair loss over a year out is probably related to zinc or Protein deficiency. .have you been checked? You mention you don't feel like the real you. I think that is at the heart of your regret right? I would be interested in your putting more words to that. I am 2 years 3 months out and can relate to the emotional. ..changes. I associate them with the weight loss and not the surgery itself so am wondering what you are experiencing. This journey has been both easy (never really believed I could transform and I have) and at times very hard. My whole life has changed...mostly for the better but it is still an adjustment. I am finally to the point where I am thinking alot about...what's next. I appreciate your sharing your story.

My ride should be here in 10 minutes.. then off to the airport and sunny mexico! I expect to have some time for the internet as this is a lazy laying around kinda vacay. I have so much excess water weight right now though... I woke up with a tummy. It is from eating salty food yesterday, I didn't used to be this sensitive to it. It has to do with the fact that the lympathic system relies on skin to work properly and with the skin removed... it is needing to find new pathways. Not sure why this impacts some people more than others. It could take a whole year before this stops... at least I don't have edema in my legs or feet!

Okay, an apple transformed... Me, pre-op, over 300 pounds Me at goal, but pre-plastics, no shapewear. Melted snowman look due to belly skin especially but I really didn't have excess belly fat anymore. Post plastics, no shapewear. I am still broad shouldered but have lost the belly. Only removed 5.5 pounds of skin. I had no lipo as I really didn't have much fat remaining.

oh, trainer rolls out my pain too. It sounds like it is very similiar to yours globe... and I am going on about a month or so and it is only a little bit better...

Maybe we should get together for St Pattys day...haha! Well, I think I will be just back from Mexico then, but, another day would be fun. My mini coop really is mini.. the little S Coupe hardtop. White Silver with black racing stripes and black wheels. Love it. I think I need to get a photo of me with my mini..teehee. I am sorry your work situation is deteriorating - bit life lesson for me - work is just work. It's important, but it isn't your life and it surely does not define who we are!

Well, they had me use ice and some rest to get the injuried muscle to "quiet down" but then I keep working it even though it still causes some pain. The focus is on stretching and stregthening. The moves are hard to describe because they are very focused on small muscles. So, for example, lots of ab related work, but not crunches. We keep changing up the glute ones to find effective ones where the glutes do the work and not the quads taking over without hurting my knees. I wish i could give you a list of exercises and stretches but it isn't like that. Every workout is different and even the homework I get is evolving. Fiddle - even though I only dabbled at cross fit, I did alot of Julian Michal's dvds with the focus on compound moves... you get more out of your workout. I suspect it contributed to this for the same reasons you are describing. For me the lesson learned is that compound moves are great and efficient, but your weekly routine needs to also include isolation of those small and underused muscles. Example, I still do not engage the muscles on the side of my ribs to support pushups. My arms and shoulders do all the work and it is no wonder they are so hard for me. It takes time to isolate muscles - I am sure I couldn't do it without her coaching me as the way an exercise is done needs to be pretty precise.

Florinda, you are not alone in many of those feelings. I became a CPA when I was young and I am sure one of the reasons that it was so important to me - and to work for one of the most pretigious Accounting and Consulting firms in the world actually mattered to me... was for the reasons you describe. I felt like a nobody from a no matter background. I felt physically hideious (I had real body self esteem image issues as a youth). Even later, after I left that uber high stress career (that didn't suit me at all) I gained a tremendous sense of self from my work and peers. It sounds weird, but I felt a certain pride to be like the only really really fat person that ever had high visibility, executive presentations etc. in my little world. It is the truth, corporate America hats obesity as much as the rest of the world. Going through my sister's illness and death made me see the world differently though so I am no longer so focused on my self worth coming from my career, but I certainly understand it. Even now, work is the one place where I feel like I can really make a difference every day - surely in the rest of my life I feel as though I have had some pretty big failures. I sometimes get down with the feeling that I am going to be 50 this year - and when I thought I would be looking toward "golden years" with the love of my life I am instead looking at the "solo years" however they may be. I see the wrinkles on my face, I feel the sense of time passing quickly.... sometimes it is troubling. Steven has coached me alot about this, about reinventing ourselves. Don't focus on what might have been - instead focus on this being the best years of your life. (when he says it, I believe him... haha!) I think your story can also be reframed in a different way. Instead of thinking the negative (no kids, no hubby) think of the freedom you have. When I was your age, I had to financially support a family of 4 - I had to make decisions based on THAT not necessarily what I wanted. When you view it that way, you can see you have so many good opportunities before you... to do what YOU want. Anyway, I feel for you. Be careful around the oreos - evil bastards. That gain you experienced, that's what happened to me during a fairly breif period of free for all eating - it will come back off pretty quickly so don't let it bum you out. Hang in there girl - you need to get "home" - you have a plan, just follow through! Denise - i actually agree with Bill. I think couples risk drifting apart and losing the spontaneous physical relationship when they sleep apart. What continues to bother me is how he turns hostile on you when try to fix/discuss a legitimate issue. IF the tables were turned, I think you would want to discuss it, be supportive of both parties concerns. I feel like his attitude is not very loving and frankly bothers me if that is how he deals with disagreements. Anyway, I know you feel like he is "the one" but I can't help but think of protecting your heart and feelings a little bit - reserve judgement - if the sleep thing is his only "unreasonable issue" that is one thing. If he deals with relationship conflicts in general this way, well for me, that is a real red flag. Why does Bill snore with a CPAP? CPAPs solve snoring problems... does his really fit/work right? Have you tried buying high quality/expensive earplugs. My EX snored like a freight train. for many years he preferred to sleep separately but I often used earplugs during the times when we slept together even though I didn't like it.

Hey Dorrie - it is a booming business in WA state now. my little town has "banned" them but I hear they are popping up elsewhere. I personally think it is a great venture. Just because you buy a beer doesn't make you an alcoholic and just because a person buys a joint doesn't make them a drug addict, in my opinion. BTW, in WA state is now legal for recreational use but I am unclear what the dispensaries can sell. It used to be medical card required, I am not sure now.

I emailed her the link. It can be hard to search when you don't really even know what you are looking for. I researched plastics for a long time and not everyone has patience for that. Many of the contacts are from people who just had their sleeve and I just keep telling them to not even think about plastics yet.... I will be honest, I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I could look like the girl in that cocktail dress. When I was in my early 20s I was svelte and sexy but I hated it - couldn't handle it. I sorta figured I would look like what i think of as a typical middle age woman once I lose the excess weight. I never thought I would get to a normal weight/size even because high BMI people often don't. Even before plastics, my looks were different then what I expected. So, weight is a little better today... slowly and surely working off the excess from my binge week. I am happy seeing Steven and the only "gap" is that he doesn't have time or desire to do alot of stuff i would love to have a guy do with me. This is why he keeps pushing me to move on, so that I can fullfill my wishes, but he is very happy with our arrangement. I finally told him not to bring it up until June 1 - if we are still together - because I am tired of hearing about it. I get where he is coming from and it is my choice if it is good enough or not enough for me. However, i have only been living alone just over a month, I need more time to sort things out before i am ready for a boyfriend who has any expectations of me what-so-ever. Steven has zero expectations and he is a good friend to me - and I try to be to him... so for now, it is probably as good as it gets.

This is the link to the thread that tells all about my plastics journey in the early weeks. I have gotten a few PMs so thought I would post it so people can find it! http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/285839-two-weeks-from-plastics-progress-so-far/ I was afraid of the scars too... and yes I surely have them, but from a mental/emotional point of view they are NOTHING. They don't bother me at all, I don't even see them. I DO see how much my profile has changed so for me, it was really worth it. I think we all need to do that "math" in our head though because it is all about tradeoffs. Plastics are no joke - it is a big deal - recovery takes a long time - I think you really need to want it for it to be worth it. I came across this photo taken of me about 2 months prior to my plastics. No spanx, and I definately have a melted snowman look going on. compare that to the photo taken in Feb in the cocktail dress... again, no spanx.. 2 months pre plastics: 3 months post plastics - similar weight - maybe 5-8 pounds lighter but the skin is the difference

i have been doing squats and lunges for two years and I just get "leaner". Goes back to my original comment that I look like I am doing them right, but other muscles are carrying the workload so my glutes have not built up. Muscular/toned, but don't have the shape they should. My legs are very strong, but i do have knee issues so I never squat below that 90 degree mark to protect the knees. I have been to chiropractors over the years and they never considered that my spine was too straight. However, when I look at my profile in the mirror, and compare myself to others - the new personal trainer is right, I don't have much of a curve in my low back. She told me that part of the problem is that what feels normal to me is a tipped pelvis so some of it is retraining the brain. I have a bunch of weird exercises now, btw, much LIGHTER weight because whenever the weight gets to heavy the strong muscles take over. This comment applies to the entire workout - lighter weights focusing on the small and / or forgotten muscles.