yecats

Ok today I feel a bit like crying. I am trying, really trying at this journey to be successful, but why do I just feel like I'm flubbing up? And yes, I don't mean flubbing, but I'm trying to keep this PG or at least PG13, ok?
 
I finally downloaded myfitnesspal.com, where before I was writing everything as I took it in my mouth (the old Weight Watcher's lingo of "write it if you bite it" comes to mind); however, everyone says use fitness pal, so I'm trying that. Omg I'm not eating enough. How in hades DO I EAT MORE? Yeah, I know ... all the newbies that possibly read this are now thinking "WHAT?" but I cannot eat enough to half of the calories this thing says for me to do. And I went to the gym. Mind you I only did 2 miles, I feel like I was lazy but it was a rushed amount of time and this thing says I burned 384 cals. So I'm now about to where I started after breakfast. What? Oh wait I forgot I "ate" the rest of my breakfast shake later. Well whoopee, only 1174 more calories to consume. It's 7 pm. Place your bets if you think I'm gonna get that in. No wonder I'm ravenous late at night. HOW DO I DO THIS? grrrr
 
And is it ok to count Cytomax pure protein tangerine or tropical drinks as my water for the day? Per my dr., I thought so... per myfitnesspal, no... that has it's own category.
 
 
Am I going to fail at this? Seems like the story of my life. Yeah I know boo hoo but I'm having a moment. I lived through the surgery, staying an extra day because my temp kept spiking. Went home and got pneumonia so I went back for a week to the hospital... got out only to go back in in extreme pain, come to find out I have a leak and an abscess and have to do surgery again (mind you I paid for this out of my pocket and have the rottenest. lousiest insurance plan ever). Yes these would be tears in my beer, but I CAN'T DRINK BEER anymore. Sigh....
 
And I'm trying to get back to working out and ppl tell me I'm messing up by doing that. I love love love the elliptical. I miss my workouts of 5 miles min a day. So I'm doing 3 every other day to build up. Mind you the revision surgery was 3/20... so this is too soon? My dr. said do what you want, you should be ok to be active, don't worry your body will tell you whenever you do too much. So it did every other day... enough time for me to recover and get back into the gym and do 3 more miles. So today I "took it easy" and only did two miles. Treadmills are boring to me..... and it's too hot in the great state of Tejas to run outside (yes, it's gorgeous right now but I would keel over and die from lack of oxygen if I ran.... THAT is a huge challenge that I KNOW I am not currently ready for).
 
But then I get on the scale (yeah bad idea) and I'm up a bit. Not enough to mention but just when I'm feeling like ... well since dinner that I struggled to make isn't working for me (as my belly is wringing itself out like a limp dishtowel after I took a few bites of the turkey-nitas --- yeah my own creation. I found a recipe on eggface's website that sounded delish and then in the store I remembered, my dr. says no pork until 6 months out... maybe b/c he's jewish as a friend told me that's not what her dr. said... idk but that's what my dr. said so i follow it, period). Anywho, I digress and ramble because I am having an emotional moment, sorry.... but I feel like I can't eat anything. I'm struggling with not drinking during a meal. REALLY struggling. And in eating enough ... grrrrr. Can someone send me 5 to 10 recipes of what they lived on during this frustrating phase between full liquids to mush? IDK what I'm doing. But here's my goal: NO MORE LEAKS, pray for no abscess (that crap HURTTTTTTS, or mine certainly did as it was in my diaphragm four days after my discharge from the hospital with pneumonia... hmm seems to me that the diaphragm is needed after you get out with pneumonia.... God's funny right? it's not God, forgive me lord....). Just ain't that Murphy's law? It is in my life I guess....
 
Ok sorry that was ramble city... but how do you "be successful" with this? I'm worried I'm "plateauing" already.
 
And DOES my cytomax pure protein drinks count as my water - or just to the 48 oz a day? Sigh.... so much to try to keep up on. I need help. Lord please, send me a patient angel who doesn't mind the rambling overemotional crappus that women do!
 
Hope all of you are being successes... and pass it forward to those that struggle. One day, dang it, that's gonna be me (gulp, I hope).

My Story
 
I am 42 years old, 5’5” and weigh 243 lbs. I wear size 20/22 pants and 2X tops.
 
I never really thought about my weight one way or another until I wanted to join the military (18 years old). When I went to check out all the branches I actually choose the Navy because I had to lose the least amount of weight – 30 lbs (I was 180 at the time). I put myself on a crazy crash diet and exercise program to lose the weight as fast as possible. I could only get to 25 lbs down and the day before I had to weigh in I took a bunch of laxatives (NEVER AGAIN!). I was over my weigh in by 2 lbs but they gave me a waiver and I joined the Navy for 5 years. The good thing about the military is that they give you a PT test and weigh in every six months so I kept myself within my weight range (not easily but I did it for five years). The moment I left the military and restrictions of weighing in and exercising came off I started a progression of gaining weight. Getting married, moving, new job, college, graduate school, and an uncertain future helped add more weight on.
 
I work very hard to not let my weight interfere with my life. We live in a coastal region so summer clothes and swimsuits are a staple. My husband (not overweight) loves the water and I love my husband so I am good about not letting my weight become an issue in our marriage (which means even if I feel uncomfortable in my 22 size bathing suit I fake my enthusiasm for spending the day on the water).
 
I never thought about WLS until my sister had lapband surgery a few years in Mexico. She actually had a bad situation with her band slipping and had to go into emergency surgery and now she is battling the insurance company to cover the emergency surgery. Up until then I hadn’t know about medical tourism or about the many WLS options.
 
This past fall I started to research different WLS surgeries. I have to lose 100 lbs and that is beyond overwhelming to me. The most I lost was 30 lbs on WW but gained that back and more.
 
I liked the sleeve option better then gastic bypass. My insurance does not cover it so I knew I was going to be self pay. My husband isn’t very chatty and I he said if that is something I wanted to do then fine but he is fine either way (I married an easy going guy). He won’t be going with me….no sense in both of us going if he’ll be bored. I am not telling anyone about the surgery. I don’t want to be talked out of it (it is enough to keep myself from talking myself out of it!).
 
I think I am a good candidate for surgery. My health is very good (minus the 100 excess pounds). My weight related ailments include – lack of energy, knees that bother me, and snoring. Our only son is married and serving in the military (so no small children). I am on temporary assignment outside of the classroom this year so I don’t have the crazy and stressful teacher schedule (which will make recovery easier for me).
 
I am mentally preparing for a rough few months after surgery (I am not a complainer and can tough out a lot). I am worried about the normal things – complications, insurance not covering complications, dying, long term ramifications, dealing with my eat out friends. However I am looking forward to buying clothes in normal sizes, fitting into airplane seats, crossing my legs, having more energy, enjoying being outdoors.
 
My surgery is on March 28th.

Greetings with love, my Sleeve family,
 
 
 
 
 
Are we ready for our Spiritual Vitamins? Today's Vitamins are T & H:
 
TRUE HAPPINESS
 
 
Ecclesiastes 3: 12
 
"I know that there is nothing better for people, than to be happy and go good while they live."
 
 
 
Happiness is a wonderful feeling! When we are happy, we just want to share it with everyone. Many of us are
 
experiencing alot of this while we are losing the weight. Some are feeling happy as we get our letters approving
 
surgery. We are getting happiness from our little non sleeve victories. As we are enjoying these accomplishments,
 
let us not confuse them with "true happiness."
 
 
True happiness is not shallow or external. It should never be based on how we look, our material possessions, our
 
financial status, or how many people like us. This kind of true happiness, if we believe, should be solely based on our
 
"internal spiritual" relationship with God. When we have a deep, personal bond with the Lord, we are so blessed with
 
a "sense of happiness" that no other part of our lives can give us.
 
We should never forget, that our transformations are blessings, courteousy of our Father and we should show all
 
who are watching us change, how grateful we are by first, taking care of ourselves spiritually, and then physically.
 
God is moving in our lives, we need to move with him!
 
 
So, my fellow sleevers, as we "lose" these pounds and start to see all the changes in our faces and bodies,
 
let us "gain" a better personal relationship with God so He can help us not to be "full of ourselves", now
 
that there will be "less of us!" Godspeed on your journey.

Hugs and Kisses,
Sleeve Family,
 
 
 
 
 
 
Spiritual Vitamins are good for what ever is ailing your soul! Today is vitamin F:
 
FAITH
 
Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.
 
 
 
 
When we first decided that this procedure would be the one to help us finally win our battle with obesity,
 
we really had no idea how our lives were going to change forever. I'm sure if you are like me, you
 
probably googled, researched, read, and watch every resource of information you could get a hold of,
 
to try and get a more better understanding of what was going to happen and what the outcome would be.
 
We also researched physicians that specialized in this procedure. Now, after all our careful research, some
 
of us got nervous, "cold feet" and started thinking if we were making the right choice. But, our desire to be
 
healthier (skinnier, LOL) made us push forward. We finally selected the physician we thought would be the
 
best for our individual needs and we put our "Faith" in him/her that they would be successful in performing
 
the surgery and help us get on our way with this journey. We did not have the slightest idea at all, how any
 
of our procedures were going to turn out, but we "Hoped" they were very skillful and that all would go well.
 
 
Now:
 
 
Think about this, we put so much (our lives) faith and hope in physicians who are men and women just like
 
us. But in actuality, they are just the "avenues" that our Father in heaven "utilized" to get us to this point!
 
As children of God, we should never put more faith or hope in any man/women or even ourselves than
 
we put in our Father. This is why, we should talk with Him through prayer everyday and through our "faith"
 
and "hope" in Him alone, shall we wait to receive our increases in life!.
 
God utilizes whatever He needs, to take care of those He loves and those who love Him!
 
 
 
"Faith and Hope in the Lord, are our avenues to having a blessed, and successful life!"
 
 
 
Feeling strong in the Lord,
 
 
Diamond45 (a.k.a. Blessed)

I had my sleeve on Feb 1st and the surgery went great. The surgeon described it as "textbook" and I was only in there for a little over an hour. The pain was not severe, well as long as I didnt try to bend over to put my underwear on (but thats a whole nother story lol). The pain medication more than manages the pain. I didnt have any problems with nausea while in the hospital, the pain thing I noticed was stomach spasms. From the time I woke up from anesthesia I kept feeling this sensation in my upper abdomen that felt like I was hungry. I kept telling my surgeon "I think Im HUNGRY!!?!". She just smiled and explained to me that I was feeling stomach spasms. Cold water has been my only enemy since my surgery. Even little sips of cold water cause slight discomfort/nausea/spasms. The odd thing is, if I put crystal light in my water, I dont have the problem. So for now, I drink crystal light and try to drink room temp h20 as often as I can. Like I said though, ice cold or even cold water has been the only thing I have a problem ingesting. So far my incisions have healed up nicely. The discomfort in my abs with exertion is pretty much gone now, and I must say, I feel like my old self. Right after the surgery my "bathroom habits" were very frequent, which my surgeon said was to be expected. That has even regulated itself now. Im glad to be posting on here finally, I think I had been putting it off because it all seems unreal- like "yeah, this happend!!". I can honestly say that I still feel that way, like I am shocked that its all over with and im safe and healthy at home.

Top of the morning family :D
 
Today is a great day to fill yourself with some spiritual vitamins, your body will thank you!!
 
 
Vitamin T: TRUST
 
 
Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge him,
and he will direct your path!
 
 
We must understand that God has all power, and that it is he who sustains our life. He has allowed all of us to be on this journeys path,
so we must "Trust" that if "He brought us to it, he will see us through it!"

There hasn't been anything I've put in it that it doesn't like (that's a plus)
I get a definite signal when I'm full (RARELY physically felt full before surgery) so no overeating
Haven't had any issues with acid
Haven't had any issue with pain.
I feel satisfied at every meal. Its just a huge change.
The steroid issues I had are getting so much better
I have lots of energy.
I am just finally on my way back to health. I almost feel like i'm turning back time.

I had my second appointment today with the nurse. Today I saw D.  I have lost 15.3lbs since Jan 27. The nurse scheduled my phsych appointment and my gastro. I meet with the nut march 29 and already have my April appointment for the 26th. Yay! Things are moving right along! 
I hope I can stick to the plan and continue to succeed! 

I went to my Wellness and NUT class yesterday and I have to say that I was shocked. Once again I go to these mandatory classes and I sit there and think, "Does anybody actually know how to google?" Hell, the moment that the idea of VSG tickled my brain I immediately powered up my trusty laptop for some quality web time. Thats how I found all you lovely men and women on this site! Yet here I was, months later sitting in my W&NUT class and listening to this one gentleman say, "You mean I have to give up my McDonald's Deluxe Breakfasts?". And he wasn't being sarcastic, he was actually dismayed. *sigh*
 
On another note, I also passed my Psych(o) exam yesterday! $345 for 50 minutes that involved a conversation and a test to determine my mental wellbeing. Obviously I went into the wrong line of business as this sure beats my hourly wage!
 
I'm having friends over for dinner on Saturday and my bff told me that her husband isn't really getting why I'm having this surgery. Basically he's worried about me having surgery, as all surgery is dangerous. Also, he thinks that you can lose weight just by trying harder and using will power. Luckily my bff said that she thinks thats bs. I dont think that if you've been thin your entire life that you can understand how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off. So dinner should be interesting. Basically my mantra is, "You can be supportive without actually agreeing" and "Bring on the questions as long as the conversations are respectful". I'm not worried about it as its my choice, my family is behind me, and the effects speak for themselves. Also I know his questions come out of concern for me, and that it's not coming from a mean or judgemental place. Sometimes I forget that those who have never had surgery or health problems view surgery so suspiciously. I'm only 29 but I've had my appendix and tonsils removed, pins put into my foot, two surgeries on my legs to fix a brown recluse bite gone bad, wisdom teeth removed, and breast reduction surgery. Surgery itself does not scare me...and I think you get to a point in your life that you are willing to risk everything in order to gain a healthier and better life.
 
One more class to go on March 7 and then everything can be submitted to the insurance. Woohoo!
 
"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance." ~ Unknown

I am a recovering faker. VSG Ready- I, too, have put on airs in order to keep those at bay who may threaten me in some way. That threat me be emotional, like potential rejection, or mental, like if they find out I am this insecure surely they will stone and flog me. But, I learned something while buying mascara. Want to hear it? Here it goes;
 
Usually I put on my make up, maybe some hair, and then sit in front of the closet for an hour thinking about what to wear and what it will say about me. I don't want to look unprofessional, but I don't want to look out of date, but I don't want to look matronly, but not like a trend follower... and on and on. So one day as I am sitting there going thru my usual, this commercial came on for Falsies Flared Mascara. Now, I don't consider myself a superficial person by any means...but, I do place value on MY OWN outward appearance based on how I feel about ME that day. In particular, I value having a pretty face and nice hair because it distracts ME from the obvious (I won't dignify IT with a name...you know where we are, you know what it is). So, on this day, this commercial came on and I thought "Dang, that stuff gives you 'wings'? I need lash wings!"
*sidebar* All of us have SOMETHING we use to distract from SOMETHING ELSE that we don't find desirable about ourselves. Many of us here are natural caregivers, sweet and cheerful people with strong personalities. But, in efforts not to be the "jolly fat girl" or the "Big mean black girl" or the "Mammy, advice giving and enabling black woman" we mask our natural qualities (even if they align with those characters). Sadly, too often we feel so different then we look that we misunderstand or over exaggerate how others see us. Its time for us to see ourselves as we are- Created fearfully and wonderfully by God.
So, I go to Walgreen's to buy the stuff that gives you wings and its like 8 or 9 dollars. Being the frugal lady that I am , I had to ponder; "Is this worth 9$?" Then I thought back on all the fast food meals I bought, all the money I spent on clothes that were "slimming" (yea, put on the fat suit then buy clothes that cover it up), and I thought about how messed up I was making my mind. Eat for comfort, lie about who you are and how you feel about it, then hide try to hide it, then be sad and angry about how OTHERS treat you? Psyco big gurl say wha??
To make a long story short, I did get my mascara...but I started putting it on to ENHANCE who I am, not hide me. I do still wear make up and sometimes hair...but because it makes me feel good to put that kind of time in on myself. I am sleeved and losing so I am having an even harder time finding clothes. But, I don't worry out what people think. If I FEEL good, then I'm good, dangit! And you know what else? Sometimes, I AM an angry black women, and sometimes I am in a jolly a$$ mood. So what? I now wake up everyday knowing that I am not perfect and I will say something real stupid today. And I will probably lose my keys, or trip over the corner of a rug...and I'm just fine with that.
God didn't make no junk and HE made ME. He loves me unconditionally and knows the number of hairs on my head (and in my weaves)! I honor God by accepting me and accepting that I change daily and it's not always perfection.
I hope that all of you feel me when I say- You are HIS and HE ain't make NO JUNK!

Wow it has already been 9 weeks and I still marvel at the changes my body is taking on. I weighted in this morning at 280.6 that is so awesome that puts me down 56.4 lbs. WOW. I have lost 23 inches over all and am feeling so wonderful (other than a stupid cold right now).
 
The doctor told me not to except large weight loss numbers now that I am further out but they keep coming off and I am so thankful for that.
 
I am still off all medication until the 16th when I see the heart doctor. I don't feel like I need them anymore but that will be up to him as to weather I get to stay off them.
I feel great even while at the gym. So I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying for good news Thursday.
 
I have only one regret in all of this is that my mom can't be here to see it.
 
I wish I would have had the sleeve done years ago it would have saved me so much grief over the past years.
 
Step by Step Day by Day with Jesus is all I can hope for. I thank Him for so much and for making it possible for me to have this surgery.
 
Oh yeah this is such ego boosting for me, I bought a dress last year for Valentines Day through a catalog. When it got here they had sent me a size 22, no way was I going to fit in that thing being at a size 28. I didn't even send it back I was so upset. I just hung it in the deepest corner of my closet and forgot about it. Today looking for something to wear that didn't fall off, lol, I noticed it hiding there, so I took it out and laid it on the bed. Yeah right, I though, that thing is still way to small for me. I kept staring at it. Oh what the heck I tried it on laughing the whole time but slap me silly it fits and fits good. Will wonders never end, I hope not.
 
Have a Happy Valentines Day
and Good losing all.

So for the past few months I've been making pretty good food choices as I figured that since I was going forward with this surgery I should start changing my eating habits sooner rather than later. I do protein shakes (I actually rather like them!), and a veggie/fruit/nut/dairy smoothie thats delicious and healthy. My body feels like it's running better and I have more energy since I've started actually acknowledging a need for a more healthy and varied diet.
 
As I said above, I've been pretty good the last few months, but today I decided, "What the hell" and answered my craving for a Burger King Whopper Junior and fries. Plus soda, which I almost never drink. I figured having one fast food meal every now and then is no biggie, right? WRONG! My insides feel like they want to be outside and I dont think my gallbladder will ever forgive me. Uck. I also feel just plain ol' yuckie.
 
So with my intestinal discomfort, why am I kinda happy, you ask? Because whilst I was consuming calorie and fat ladden foods I realized that it just didn't taste as good as it used to. It tasted...well...fatty and super processed. Fake. One shaky step up from fillet a la cardboard. Frankly it disgusted me and I have absolutely NO desire to eat that crap again. Healthy, tasty, natural foods are addictive and your taste buds do change over time. My revelation was kinda surprising and very welcome!
 
Not bad for a pre-sleever, huh?

I have my plane tickets surgery scheduled with Dr. Garcia for Feb 22. Diet starts soon

Ok, one thing I've definitely learned is at this point, I can really only sip water/liquids (and, that is the instructions given...take sips). It hurts, like heartburn, if I do more than just sips. So, sip I will!
 
I think today is a turning point as far as the pain factor. YEAH! I've taken the pain meds basically to sleep at night and I think I'm done with that.
 
I also think I might just go back to work this Thursday or Friday! Whoop Whoop! My original plan or atleast I thought is what I would do prior to my surgery was that I'd be able to go back to work a week after. If I go back this Thursday or Friday, it will be 9 days post surgery, not 7 days. I think is is truly possible.
 
So I bought my first scale yesterday at Costco. I also walked all around Costco with my hubby and then later in the day walked on the treadmill (slowly) for 30 mins. Anyway, about the scale, if my scale reads the same as the one used right before my vsg surgery on 1/17, then I've lost 12lbs as of this morning. Shoot, 12lbs in 6 days...what, what?!?! Yes, I will take that.
 
Here's a secret and something weighing on my heart. I told my work I was having 'female surgery' - not bariatric surgery. I feel absolutely horrible that I've lied about this really important life changing action I've taken. It will likely weigh on me to much and I will come clean eventually. It's all about the personal weight embarrassment issues I have. I absolutely do not like to lie, but I have. I'm sure the truth will prevail...or at least catch up with me. I have actually only informed my husband and three friends of mine about the vsg surgery. I haven't lied to my family, but I haven't told them yet either. I want to be healed up before I do.
 
I've taken a few showers, but my belly is looking rather frightful and I still have the bandage strips and patches on my incisions - five of them. I swear they are iron clad stuck there and will be hanging on like an unwelcome house guest for a while. However, I can fully envision looking at my future flat stomach (yes, there will be lots of hard workouts and time to achieve this) and will only tiny signs of incisions!
 
Today is the true first day I woke up and the thought.."Why did I do this to myself?"..didn't come first to mind. I totally know why and I an so thankful and proud of myself for having done it.
 
The excitement continues to grow...
 
One Love.

I have figured out the ticker and my ticker slider keeps going down...I mean going down in a good way - in LBS!
 
My husband is rather freaked out that I haven't eaten anything in 11+days - from the perspective that I would never miss a substantial meal and snacks prior. I keep telling him that these 'delicious' protein shakes are food and I am getting nutrition and calories. am looking forward to the pureed phase, which is just two weeks away. He is very supportive and has been more conscious of what he is eating also. Love the boomerang effect.
 
I'm going back to work on Monday and looking forward to that.
 
It is nice to be able to lie flat in bed without any tugging or pain and this has been so for the past three nights.
 
Going for a walk/hike today along the coast in Pacifica, CA. One of my favorite places.
 
Seems strange that I have lost 20lbs in 11 days and I'm not starving nor hungry. I'm in shock that I am under the 100lb marker of how many more lbs until my goal weight.
 
Life and how I am starting to feel about my body is good, no...pretty darn terrific.
 
One Love.

Saw the nutritionist yesterday and had the pysch eval today. Saw the doctor afterwards and my last pre-op step was to set the endoscopy apt, which is for feb 7.
I'm not nervous yet, I'm very excited! I know that may change but for now I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Can't believe it's been almost 4 weeks (23 days) since my sleeve surgery. Went to heart doctor Tuesday and things are looking good weighted in at 305 and blood pressure was 130/82 such big improvements since my last appointment. (clearance for surgery weight 337 and BP 158/96) Today 302 (35lbs gone) and BP 129/76 Yeah!
 
I still am off all my medications, tried to take BP pills and Plavix but they dropped my blood pressure way to low, so, doctor said just keep eye on it and if it starts going back up again restart my pills and come see him. (so happy) I hate pills.
 
My husband and I have been cleaning the garage out so that he can put my "OLD" weight equipment up and hang the punching bag, am looking forward to exercising haven't been able to for over 10 years now and am so thrilled. I am moving on from just walking the block, maybe hubby will work out with me (I hope) again. Never thought I would use the "OLD" equipment ever again glad I didn't get rid of it.
 
My moods have changed for the better since surgery and I have found my voice again no more sitting on the side lines and taking everyone's crap. I can do THIS and NO ONE is going to tell me anything different.
 
I had no choice in having the surgery if I wanted to live, it was surgery or death and I chose surgery and life.
 
I have no regrets and am looking forward to a happier, healthier life ahead.
 
Bad mojo out and good mojo in.
 
Step by Step Day by Day with Jesus is all I pray for.

Hi Everyone~ I am a newbie to this site. To tell a little (or a lot) about my self. I'm 33 years old, I have a BMI of about 41. I'm getting sleeved in Mexico by Dr. Kelly (Feb. 4th). I'm getting excited as it's getting closer. I talked to my "sleeve sister" today, she sounded like a sweetheart. She made me feel more comfortable about my decision to get this done. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I wasn't always "fat", but very aware that I couldnt eat like everyone else. I've always been aware with my dads struggle with his weight and I don't want to be like that. I haven't told anyone except my husband that i'm getting this done. I just feel like if I tell people they'll think i'm taking the easy way out. And I think for most if not all of us getting this done, that's not true.

I went to the gym today and was on the sit down bike for an hour without realizing it. I was playing Trade Nations and Words with Friends on my iphone the whole time so the time must have whizzed on by. I don't own a scale at home so only weigh myself at the gym like once a week so I don't get discouraged. It said 260!! I don't remember the last time I was that weight, had to have been in junior high when I wore a size 16.
 
Thus far, I've lost like 40 lbs since the surgery and pre-op liquid diet. My biggest weight was 400 lbs right out of college so I joined Weight Watchers. $90 short later, I was still 400 but was addicted to their ice cream sandwiches. I slowly started losing the weight over the years by ceasing all fast food and soda so finally reached 300 but could not lose another pound. I was at my high school weight now so figured it was OK and maintained that weight somehow.
 
Things all changed when I turned 29 and my mom died of cancer at only 52. It was so hard visiting her at Parkland hospital in Dallas. She was always 100 lbs + heavier than I but she loss 200 lbs as she lay there with a tube down her throat. I was hoping things would get better for her but her body lost the fight. I kept having images in my head of myself in her place but there was no family visiting me. I've never had a boyfriend and have only been on one date in college in my life. My weight had always been the excuse for why I couldn't have a love life like everyone else seemed to have. I was only 29 but felt my knees hurt when I walked, had sleep apnea, hypothyroidism and high blood pressure. Things were only going to get worse for me in the years to come. Right then and there I knew I had to do something, but what?
 
A few days after my mom's death I found myself at work trying to hide my tears. I had started the job only last year so didn't want to ask for some time off. A lady named Felicia that I had been well-acquainted with came by and was looking so much slimmer. It turned out that she had had bariatric sleeve surgery back in December but bought some clothes that fit her. I had never heard about sleeve surgery but was going to get the band back when I was 24. My dad's insurance would not cover it since I was going to be 25 and off the plan the following year. Felicia told me all about the sleeve surgery and even told me her doctor's name, Wade Barker M.D. He was in our insurance's network so would be covered! I immediately searched for him and found his website, then submitted a form.
 
A few hours later, a nice receptionist at his office called me and I made an appointment for the following Thursday for a consultation. I knew that I had made the right step towards taking control of my life instead of let my food addiction dig me an early grave.
 
Now I am almost 1 month post-op and have lost 40 lbs. When I walk I no longer feel pain, sleep better and hope my high blood pressure will be gone when I go back for the monthly follow up appointment in January. I know now that I am on the fast track to wellness and have my whole life ahead of me. The future is finally clear with the food craving and addiction completely gone. My new addiction has been cable TV but I'm trying to force myself to be more productive with my time. (:
 
Lots of love,
Becky

I haven't posted anything in several days...probably a week...but I have bronchitis and have felt like poo. Starting to feel better now, thank goodness and looking forward to the holidays.
 
My daughter is coming in today and I'm so excited! The only thing that could make it better would be if her brother could come too. He has a wedding this weekend and a rehearsal supper tomorrow, so that is not possible. Wow, it is not fun when they grow up and have their own lives. LOL
 
So anyway, I found out last week that the only 2 surgical dates left, during this calendar year, for my surgeon is Nov 28 and Dec 12. I also found out that I can't see my neurologist for clearance until Dec 5. Since that is only one week before the Dec 12 date, I doubt if insurance will approve me that fast. So it looks like it will be January. Ah well. I did find out that my insurance provider is NOT changing, so that takes the worry out of the equation as far as rushing to get it done this year. I'm not too upset about it. I'm really proud of myself. Delayed gratification is NOT something I am good about, LOL, but I think because I know this is going to be a lifelong change for me....It is calming. I'm more relaxed about it. Like...it's going to happen...so I don't need to stress. And the fact that it will be lifetime...just....I dunno...corny, maybe but it really puts me at peace.
 
I'm so excited and so thrilled! I am going to enjoy this holiday season with my family...and NOT shy away from the camera. Cuz...I know it only gets better from here!!
 
Movin right along!!!!

The sleeve is the right choice for me. I am currently 224 pounds, down from my highest weight of 265. I no longer have to take high blood pressure pills or the diuretic that went with it, I'm off Lipitor, I no longer need my cumbersome CPAP machine to sleep at night, my plantar fasciitis is resolving (no pain), and I don't believe I will be diagnosed with diabetes. Im staying focused on the right diet and I'm exercising on a regular basis.
 
When I first thought about surgery to lose weight I thought it was a bit of a cop out, but I don't believe that anymore. The choice to have the sleeve is an irreversible lifetime commitment and I'm learning how to live on this new journey everyday. I have no regrets and I'm looking forward to a healthier me. Godspeed to all of you.

Day 19 post-op and so happy to be here. Until September I'd never heard of a sleeve gastrectomy and was not looking at doing bariatric surgery. Being overweight/obese most of my adult life I assumed I'd carry the burden and the health consequences to my grave. I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2004 and have done a fair job of losing small amounts of weight, eating clean food and staying active BUT not enough to stop it's progression. At the age of 54 SO much of my mental energy has been spent on what to eat, how to eat it, shame over emotional binges, isolation due to my size and downright self- loathing. Several people I know had the Lap-band and I was curious about it. I got on the internet and Googled surgeons in the Dallas area (not my home) and filled out a form requesting information. That same day I got a call from a representative of Dr. Nicholson's Clinic and shared my heart and they offered a solution/tool in a Bariatric Vertical Sleeve. To make a long story short I planned my trip to Dallas for an informational class and personal Dr. consultation. I was sold and set my surgery date for Oct. 18th, 2011 at Forest Park Hospital, Dallas, TX.
 
I was about a month out of surgery when I started doing some research and asking different questions. Because I live on a ranch an hour drive from any medical services the sleeve is an ideal choice. Three weeks post op the risk of surgical complications are nil. That has been a big peace of mind for me. I started my pre-op diet on Oct. 4th and found it to be a bit of a struggle. I despise sweet, milky drinks and gagged down Slimfast, HoneyMilk and Carnation Instant Breakfast Sugar Free. I did not know about the Bariatric Advantage Products or Unjury.....boy I wish I had. If I had one piece of advice it would be to hunt like crazy till you find something that you find pleasant and drinkable. It will make the days after surgery much less stressful. I've since ordered some of the above products. During this time I also meet with the psychologist, nutritionist and went through the pre-admit process. The whole time I wasn't sure I would go through with it. The Nicholson Clinic is really good about letting you know that you can cancel or delay until you are ready. Even the night before going in I was not sure. So many changes, so much to give up, so much unknown. It was by faith and the grace of God that I made it to the OR the next day.....and sooooo thankful that I did.
 
My check-in was noon on the 18th of October. It went smoothly and I was in the holding area shortly after that. My husband went with me and was a huge support. It is good to have someone with you. Being dehydrated made some of the IV stuff a bit trying but that was over quickly and I was resting when the anethesiologist (sp) came in. I'd had a horrible cold the week before and had a nasty cough. He promised me he would get that cleared out and he was true to his word. Don't remember a thing after he injected a relaxing med into the IV. Woke up being moved to my bed. The whole day I kept dozing off and dreaming that the surgery was the next day and feeling the dread. Then I would realize it was OVER and feel utter elation. The 24 hour hospital stay is a bit of a blur. Good drugs. I will say that it was challenging to get up and walk regularly, not drink, and battle a crazy head hunger. I just wanted to eat big bites of some comfort food like mac and cheese or enchiladas. I thought I was starving to death and ask myself what the heck had I'd done. It was an internal battle. I'm not sure if anyone else has had a similar experience but it has really reinforced for me the need for the Sleeve surgery. It will be the tool that helps me finally overcome obesity and achieve my goals in life. It's just too short to waste sitting around in a love affair with food that doesn't love me back.
 
Leaving the hospital and going to a hotel in the area worked out fine. I slept and sipped. On day three I was able to stop the pain medication and Tylenol...both were so sweet and gagging that I did better without. I used ice packs on my left side and it seemed to help. I must say that the pain was more than I had expected but not anything to keep someone from doing it. If I could have choked down the meds I probably would have taken them a few more days. Also, do practice sipping before your surgery. I used the one ounce cup for a week before just to get the hang of it. A week post-op and I was able to drink at just the right pace without thinking about it and loved feeling normal again.
On the 8th day I flew home and had a 2.5 hour car ride. It went great and there is no place like home! I really began to heal quickly once I was in my own home. I've been following the Dr.s orders as well as possible and was back in Dallas for the 2-week post op exam. I've lost 22 pounds, yea, and can begin soft foods this coming Tuesday! Hello scrambled eggs! One note, I had really felt sore on my left side and was concerned that there was a problem. Turns out it is text book for week 2 due to the healing process and increased activity. This may not hold true for all Dr's patients but for Dr. Nick's he adds extra stitches in the left side muscles and they begin to pull. Who knew?
 
Living in an isolated area it was recommended to me to find an online support group. My nutritionist suggested this one. I look forward to this part of the journey! It will be a pleasure to hear about each of your stories and learn from the experiences of others. There is no time like NOW!
 
 
Source: Day 19 and I Can't Stop Smiling!