Lissa

Heavens, I've done almost every fad diet out there. Atkins, Cambridge diet, South Beach, Slim Fast, Grapefruit, Fen Phen, 1-food per meal diet, grapefruit, speed pills (in my teens/20's), Water Loading (great for the kidneys, you drink three glasses of water before every meal...theory being you won't eat as much because the water fills you up, UGH). You name it, I've probably tried it. I even did several self-made plans where I allowed myself three pre-made frozen meals a day that totaled 800-900 calories. I'd lose weight, but I gained it back always, with bonus pounds.

YES! Exactly as Aussie said! I didn't want to post here for fear of being the odd man out, but Aussie summed up my feelings perfectly.
I think it's important for pre ops to see both sides of the coin. Before surgery I think I looked at surgery as a fix for all the things wrong with my life. 'If I have surgery everything will fall into place' with relationships, jobs, family, friends and overall happiness. That isn't the case. Just as we tell people surgery isn't a quick fix for weight loss, you can't have surgery and just expect to be skinny- same goes for the quality and happiness in your life. Surgery isn't going to just magically give you that either. I hate to break this to people but being thin DOESN'T automatically equal happiness.
I was someone who struggled with bouts of depression pre op, and that hasn't just gone away post op because my size shrank. I think on some level I thought it would. I've actually experienced some difficult emotional changes post op. I can not stress enough how important the psychiatric part of this process is. I need to get myself into therapy and I regret not doing it sooner. Don't just brush that off as unimportant. This process is SUCH a mental process as well as a physical. Therapy is an important tool and I recommend sticking with it from the beginning.
Just my two cents and my experiences, of course yours will vary, but if you have any sort of underlying issues just know surgery isn't going to cure them. You have to do that on your own regardless of your size.

What a great question! Pre-op, I was probably a 3-5 most of the time, but I didn't realize how low my spirits were. Looking back at pictures of myself from then, I seldom smiled and I don't remember being really happy most of the time. Now, almost two years out, with a year of counseling under my belt, I'm normally between a 7-10. As others have said, I love the fact that I'm so much smaller, healthier and able to do whatever I want to do. If I never lose another pound or inch, my VSG was worth it! What makes me even happier is knowing that I WILL lose another pound and another inch (over and over) until I get to my goal. So, overall, an 8-9 most of the time. BTW, I'm smiling in almost every picture I take these days!

You probably won't get that full feeling until you actually hit soft foods. However, the signs are VERY different after surgery. Right after surgery, mine mimicked gas pain in my upper left shoulder area. As I progressed, I went through stages where I would sneeze, hiccup, and finally, burp when I was full. I've learned that any type of burp is my STOP sign, even if it's just a tiny little bubble. Even if I'm chewing a bite of food, I dare not swallow it because that burp means my sleeve is DONE accepting food. I try now to eat until I'm not hungry rather than until I burp to avoid problems. You'll learn your signal(s) as you move through the stages. Good luck!

Hi everyone! First, I apologize for taking so long to reply, I am FINE!! Doing great, actually. I had a very busy week following the post, I followed up with my surgeon, the pscyh and nut at my surgeon's office (twice, lol) and then almost immediately after that returned to work. After this incident, I really was concerned and had it in my head that i had some sort of undiagnosed eating disorder. My psych told me to post, and I quote, "Yes. Obesity is an eating disorder. Everyone on that thread is suffering from the same chronic illness. And none of them are in a position to diagnose you further." She literally emailed it to me to cut and paste for all of us who will struggle and make mistakes, even ones as epic as mine, and learn the lesson. My nut told me it was a flat out silly choice, the turkey dog, primarily because I was rewarding my good progress by moving myself ahead 2 steps. She even said, had I pureed the turkey dog with broth and had a sip, that would have been fine. Ground up and not moist is ultimately where I went wrong, and I completely owned that. I still do. That was the reason for my deep worry and near depression. I am all about accountability. I have been on the complete straight and narrow path after that, I went back to work and am doing great.
Not sure who said it, but someone said I should not be feeling hungry. According to my nut, once the swelling goes down, hunger is COMPLETELY normal. The gherlin will eventually subside to normal (non-obese) levels, but in the meantime, we are to learn what real hunger is, and I'm doing that. I believe I was hungry that night. But I did not need a turkey dog. And shouldnt have had one, period! broth, Protein shake, pureed tuna, oatmeal, any of those would have been a better choice to sate my real hunger. I was NOT eating because of a food addiction, but I did make a poor choice as a result of my obesity. I am NOT letting that disorder run my life anymore. I make conscious choices, I never forget the hell I went through that night. I baby my pouch (as someone on this thread cleverly said, possibly the same person?) and I am re-learning my body. I think we all are.
This thread has really shown me how supportive and awesome complete strangers can be. I want to thank each and every one of you for understanding and showing your concern and support with such kindness and (some of you) sternness. Sure, i dont care to be told to "put my big girl panties on" when I think having the courage to have a major surgery and put myself out there when I've made a HUGE err in judgement IS putting my big girl panties on. I'm of the belief big girls make mistakes too. BUT i also understand that was said to wake me up, and I appreciate the tough love all the same. You could have said nothing, but you chose to stop and comment and healthily contribute, and that is awesome!! You are all pretty amazing in your own way for helping me here, I've friended a few of you, and help to friend even more!! Thank you so so much!! Heres to us all learnig the hard lessons the first time
How is everyone else doing?

I'd do my surgery again every day of the week and twice on Sunday!!! I'm not officially at goal yet, but I'm LOVING life these days!!!

Lissa, you are a total doll and I am absolutely going to walk!! In between doing replies I'm getting dressed. I appreciate the advice!

I went into surgery expecting to die, and accepting the gamble because of all my health complications. I woke up and went "What?" because I truly didn't expect to wake up. When they wheeled me into my room, I got up off the recovery bed, walked around the hospital bed, and sat in the chair. I never did get in that hospital bed. My only pain was in my thighs from trying to use my leg muscled instead of my tummy muscles, but that went away quickly. I took pain meds three times after surgery, then refused any more pain meds.
I drove myself home the day after surgery, about a 40 minute drive. I started walking up and down my hallway the next day and I've been high energy ever since. In 10 months I've lost 110 pounds, plus I feel amazing!!!
This is the third best gamble I've ever taken (having my boys were #1 and #2).

Pinky, Everyone loses at their own pace. NEVER beat yourself up for where you're at... Celebrate where you have come from!!! It's a journey. Enjoy it and have a great time discovering new things about yourself!!!

Pardon my french, but HE#* yes, you're worth it and HE*# no, you shouldn't give up on the idea of having a sex life. You're 47, not 107...and I understand the geriatric set are into sex in a big way, too!
I think you have laid out an excellent case for why you want to have surgery. You have busted your butt to lose weight and do what's right for everyone else. If you want to have this done, I say go for it!!!

A bit of insight.
The vast majority of us guys have a built in need to protect. If you are ever in a situation where you feel threatened, simply pick a guy and tell him that you are uncomfortable. He will do whatever is needed to ensure your safety. Our natural instinct is to provide & protect, and we will walk away feeling better about ourselves. There is a reason that Boy Scouts walked little old ladies across the streets in days gone by. It wasn't because she really needed it, it's because it gave the young man a sense of pride & service.
The unfortunate reality is men aren't allowed to be men anymore. Give us permission to be men, and you will be pleasantly surprised.
Yes, there are a few exceptions out there. But for every one self important jack ass out there there are at least 10 men just begging for a chance to destroy that ones whole world. Reality is, you really do not have to learn how to deal with us, you simply need to give us permission to be who we really are.
This in no way is intended to steer you away from learning to defend yourself, I actually believe that is a great idea. I think all women should do what they can to make themselves less of a target.

Looking Great Lissa! I'll be putting some before and after pics on myself soon. Maybe in a couple weeks, when I've hit the 75 lb loss mark.

I have the perfect solution for you. Ballroom dancing. My stepson was really shy around girls, but he'd show body parts that he shouldn't, i.e. paper thin boxers when I was around. We first put him into karate classes, which helped him get used to touching people, then he went on to ballroom dancing classes. There's a lot of touching involved, but it's all very structured. He posts his videos on You Tube when he competes and it's really helped his self-confidence levels, plus it's given him a venue where he's had to learn the "polite" ways to express interest in girls.
He's a bit of a ham, but his videos are listed under "thenameismagoo" on You Tube if you're interested in seeing whether that might be something you could tolerate. It's about the only way I can think of where you'll get to meet women who are NOT expecting you to either pay them for their favors, or pushing you into situations where you're not comfortable. Students and instructors are definitely not encouraged to date.
Perhaps a few lessons would help you become more used to having people in your personal space.
Good luck!

I definitely see a huge difference in how other people treat me now, too. It's interesting to see how others react, particularly men, because I was "invisible" for years as well. I've been lucky to have a couple of really good friends who keep pointing out to me that I am worthy of all the attention I'm getting (and always was worthy of it), and who have helped me deal with the head issues that come with the attention. I'm taking a martial arts class now (and dating the teacher, lol). I truly expected the other students to dread working with me because I'm older and "so big", but instead they seem to be anxious to work with me on stretches and sparring. The teacher told me that it's because I'm a "hot chick", but I think he might be a bit biased in my favor. Either way, it's really nice not to have people assume I'm dumb or incapable just because I'm big.

What a great question! Pre-op, I was probably a 3-5 most of the time, but I didn't realize how low my spirits were. Looking back at pictures of myself from then, I seldom smiled and I don't remember being really happy most of the time. Now, almost two years out, with a year of counseling under my belt, I'm normally between a 7-10. As others have said, I love the fact that I'm so much smaller, healthier and able to do whatever I want to do. If I never lose another pound or inch, my VSG was worth it! What makes me even happier is knowing that I WILL lose another pound and another inch (over and over) until I get to my goal. So, overall, an 8-9 most of the time. BTW, I'm smiling in almost every picture I take these days!

My initial motivation was strictly medical. I wanted to be healthier and avoid having the same medical issues I had pre-surgery. Once I started seeing results, i.e. biceps and stronger thigh muscles, smaller butt, etc, then I was motivated to keep going because I wanted to be better. At this point, 21 months post-op, I'm exercising most of the time just because I can. There is NOTHING like the feeling I get when I hit that endorphin rush after a really good workout!

I read that book and didn't related the VBG to VSG at all. Hmmm, maybe I need to check my reading comprehension skills! I know nothing about VBG, so I can't comment on that. But, I know a little bit about VSG, and it involves some fairly new techniques added to an old surgical procedure. Removal of all or a portion of the stomach has been done for many years for things like stomach cancer and ulcers. My late mother in law had most of her stomach removed because of stomach cancer.
The difference with VSG is that the techniques to remove part of the stomach have been advanced to the point where the surgery can be done laparascopically most of the time. The stapling technique has also evolved into a fairly simple procedure wherein a tube (bougie/bougle) is passed down the throat into the stomach and the surgeon uses an automatic stapler/cutter to close off the removed section and the remaining section, then removes the excess stomach through a laparscopic incision.
In traditional stomach surgery, the patient is opened up with a midline incision and the stomach is removed. My mother in law had a long scar on her tummy and she said the doctor hand-sewed her stomach closed after removing the cancerous part of her stomach. I do believe that her remaining stomach was more restrictive than my sleeve is.
Most of the WLS procedures that involved stapling or re-routing the stomach before left the excluded part of the stomach intact in the body. That did not keep people from getting ulcers or cancer in that section, nor did it remove the part of the stomach that produced ghrelin, which is the hormone that makes us hungry. So, you have someone with an intact urge to eat, but without the stomach capacity to eat enough to eliminate the hunger. My sister in law had a gastric bypass and says that she fights the actual hunger every day. Those WLS surgeries also often involved re-routing of the intestines and, sometimes, removal of the pyloric valve. That's the valve at the bottom of your stomach that releases your food into the intestines to be digested.
Sleevers keep their pyloric valve, lose the ghrelin, and can eat most foods safely, although in smaller quantities than before. Some never get the hunger back, some do. Overall, though, VSG is safer, with fewer side effects and guaranteed complications than most of the other WLS surgeries available, In my opinion anyway!
I think that's a fairly complete description, but please, anyone, correct me if I've given erroneous information.
Good luck with your decision!!

It's just like Nike says: "Just Do It". I like the idea of making an appointment with yourself. I'm doing a 30 day squat challenge and it's killing my legs, but I have determined that I just have to do it.

Oh, I concur with Kirk that counseling might be a good idea. I went for nearly a year after my surgery to a therapist and I think therapy was just as important on my journey as anything I do food/water wise. I'm a totally different person mentally than I was pre-VSG, and it's not all related to the weight loss.

My only thought about treating the discomfort is to walk. Walking helps disperse the gas pain and often helps me after I've eaten a meal that made me uncomfortable (i.e. eaten too much). Perhaps it will help you get past the discomfort from that hot dog. At the least, it will help distract your mind and might allow you to drink more Water to help it pass through into your small intestine. Good luck.

My only thought about treating the discomfort is to walk. Walking helps disperse the gas pain and often helps me after I've eaten a meal that made me uncomfortable (i.e. eaten too much). Perhaps it will help you get past the discomfort from that hot dog. At the least, it will help distract your mind and might allow you to drink more Water to help it pass through into your small intestine. Good luck.

I'm not going to give you a verbal kick in the butt, even though you know you messed up big time. I hope you learned that lesson that you cannot eat anything solid yet! Head hunger is a killer.... You should probably call your doctor and keep an eye out for any signs of a leak, i.e. throwing up bile, blood, etc. I seriously doubt that you've destroyed your sleeve, but you definitely need to stick to the diet your doctor prescribed. I have heard stories about people who ate solid food too quickly and had major problems, but I've never known those people personally, so can't verify if they are true. Good luck and get back to your liquids/soft foods phase. It might be a good idea to drop back a stage for a couple of days to give your sleeve time to recover.... I'm treating your post as if it's a sincere post rather than a troll....

I'm not going to give you a verbal kick in the butt, even though you know you messed up big time. I hope you learned that lesson that you cannot eat anything solid yet! Head hunger is a killer.... You should probably call your doctor and keep an eye out for any signs of a leak, i.e. throwing up bile, blood, etc. I seriously doubt that you've destroyed your sleeve, but you definitely need to stick to the diet your doctor prescribed. I have heard stories about people who ate solid food too quickly and had major problems, but I've never known those people personally, so can't verify if they are true. Good luck and get back to your liquids/soft foods phase. It might be a good idea to drop back a stage for a couple of days to give your sleeve time to recover.... I'm treating your post as if it's a sincere post rather than a troll....

It's just like Nike says: "Just Do It". I like the idea of making an appointment with yourself. I'm doing a 30 day squat challenge and it's killing my legs, but I have determined that I just have to do it.