Alexandra

Jacqui, you're describing YOUR reactions to having achieved something you never thought could be possible. Not everyone reacts that way, even when they have achieved something extraordinary. Not everyone gets a rush from competing with themselves, challenging themselves and conquering. It's just your personality, and it's simply not shared by everyone. Is that really so hard to understand? That said, you and Chickie and Wasa and everyone else who has worked the band so beautifully are total inspirations to me. Because you make me see that whatever we consider our personal goals to be, they are achievable. That's the take-home lesson.

Hi Sharon, I completely sympathize with your needhe-phobia; I suffered for years until I got pregnant the first time. All I can say is DON'T LOOK. The fill doctor will numb the area first so after the first tiny pinprick for the anaesthesia you don't feel anything. Even though I'm used to it now, thinking too much about what they're doing can still freak me out, so I do my best to look away and think about something else entirely. Good luck!!

You may be on to something Jacqui--differences in societal standards may indeed be a factor in how people define "normal" for themselves. But it still doesn't mean that anyone's expectation or hope or goal for themselves is a topic worthy of debate. (I'm not picking on you, I'm talking in overall terms.) I have never understood why anyone would ASK, here or anywhere else, what someone's weight-loss goal is. That seems to me such an intrusive, personal question. Clearly I'm in the minority here, since it's a question that gets asked on LBT all the time, but most of the time I think it's in a general, let's-compare-stories type of way. Let's remember we're just names on a screen to one another. We know nothing about one another's physiques, lives, behaviors and all the other things that go into setting our own goals. Jacqui, I can see you were speaking in general terms above. But when the conversation seems to turn personal, feelings can run high and I can totally understand that. As far as I'm concerned, unless someone has specifically asked for advice about setting a goal, it's simply NEVER appropriate to critique anyone's personal yardstick for success.

Yep, a return of hunger means that you're healing well and postoperative swelling is going away. It is PERFECTLY NORMAL to be hungry, and many doctors say it's OK to go on to soft mushies after one week if you're really feeling the need. Two weeks on liquids is recommended, but as we all know not everyone is the same.

I don't know if there's any reason it would have to be removed, but why not play it safe--take it out yourself a day before and replace it when you're ready?

Why not have your husband have a vasectomy? It's a much less major surgery and I'm sure you wouldn't have any trouble finding someone to do it. As for the band, I know a bandster who just had her tubes tied. I don't think the band was an issue at all.

OF COURSE it's a matter of personal body perception--and because of that it's not something that can be "reasoned" away! Just the other day I was at a function at my daughter's school, and as usual was looking over the other parents and feeling like the biggest person in the room. I happened to catch a glimpse of a tag sticking out of another mom's blouse--one of those moms who seems to have everything together, you know the type--and I was shocked to see it was an 18/20! A woman who looks perfectly normal to my eyes wears a larger top than I do, even now that I've gained 30 lbs from my post-band low. Holy cow! 225 may be "obese" but I don't think it's fair to say that anyone choosing to be satisfied at that weight is fooling themselves or selling themselves short. It's just a different point of view than yours. It really is entirely possible to see something we don't like in the mirror when we're at a "healthy" weight. For me, also 5'10", if I weighed 165 I'd have to have plastic surgery and I absolutely do not want to go that route anytime soon. So I have no desire to lose that much weight, even if I could do it without the Herculean effort I know it would require. Anything in the 200-210 range IS a "healthy weight" for me, considering that I started this journey at 340 and I weighed 212 at age 14.

Hi Missy, I was debanded back in April and I too am a chicken with regard to anaesthesia. I'm happy to say, though, that the surgery itself was MUCH easier than the initial banding procedure was--I was back on my feet and ready to rock almost the next day! Anaesthesia is scary but all you can do is try not to think about it. There are gazillions of people who are put under every day and accidents are extremely rare. You'll be fine!!!

I just did the biggest thing for myself I could imagine--changed careers. It involves a greater time commitment away from home but I am MUCH happier for it and my husband saw the value. But I still feel guilty. Otherwise the only thing on your list I can relate to is having the house cleaned every week (although I do read all the time, before bed and on the bus). But in our case that's because we'd live in a pigsty otherwise. Reading your list makes me feel like I'm missing out on a lot--I don't do anything "for myself" and I probably should. But when? Actually, now that I think about it, THIS is what I do for myself--this site.

I'm glad to see no one picking a fight here, too! But Jachut, your statement that something is "normal" weight begs for a push-back from someone who has never known a "normal" weight. To my ears the word "normal" is loaded with the judgment that any other weight is ABnormal. Maybe it's not what someone else thinks is "perfect" but hell, I have absolutely no interest in being "normal." All the medical reports say that for overweight people even losing 10% of one's weight will improve their health. That's great! And isn't that what this is all about? For some people stating some particular goal, for some people (such as myself) doesn't help one little tiny bit. So why do it? I once posted a thread called something like "I don't set goals, I set traps" after trying and failing to meet some benchmark I'd set for myself. Clearly, it didn't work. But I don't feel like a failure as long as I don't draw lines in the sand for me not to meet. Let's agree to let everyone have their own measurements of success and not comment about the value thereof. K? (I hope it goes without saying that I 100% agree with your complaint about anyone who says that some particular number is "scrawny" or "ugly." Perhaps it would feel that way for themselves, or perhaps they're just jealous, but one thing is for sure--comments like that say a lot about the person making them, and nothing about anyone else.)

This is one of the reasons I never post a goal weight--I don't even HAVE a goal weight. Everyone has their own ideas of what "goal" means to them, and it just isn't necessarily a number. So why compare at all? Laurend, fear of failure absolutely has something to do with it. I'm all for a goal weight I can maintain, as Jackie said, and I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that unless I spend all my time thinking about my weight and working on my body I would not be able to maintain a weight of [insert number here]. I simply do not want to live my life that way, especially because it's someone else's idea of "goal" and not mine. Why on earth should I set myself up for failure just because someone has a different yardstick than I do? How about being "overweight" just because we might be happy that way?

Hi Jody from Jersey! Maybe I'll see you at the hospital on the 29th. :biggrin1:

Brandy, Blue Cross organizations vary from state to state. What state is the company you work for based in?

Hey, Nykee, great to see you! What an amazing NSV, being able to walk after living life in a wheelchair. That right there will go further towards improving your health than anything you can imagine. Just keep walking! You look wonderful--and it's good to hear your band is OK. Congratulations on your weight loss and keep it up!

Holy cow, Soniacan, what a great story! I remember so well when my band was doing its thing, days like this were my new "normal." Without my band friend helping me through, though, weekend days are pretty much like they used to be--constant thoughts of what to eat next. I can't wait to be able to have days like yours again. Congratulations!!!

Carol, if you're trully hungry an hour after eating then your band is indeed not working correctly. You have a larger band and it may just be that you have not reached an effective level of restriction. The fact of having 6.5 ccs of Fluid means nothing--YOUR optimum level may be 7, 8, or 9 ccs and you just won't know until you get there. Don't give up!! You can't know how it will work for you until you've gotten to that perfect restriction level for you. I can't tell you how many posts like yours I've seen that only turn into "OH!! NOW I see!!" posts later on. I know it's hard--I'm unfilled right now myself, and struggling--but I also know a band that's filled properly is like the promised land. It's out there, we just have to find where it is for ourselves. Good luck!!

Hi Gmom! My doctor, also in NJ, has no pre-op diet at all. Well, I think they might have said something about liquids the day before, but that's just because they want to be really sure there's nothing in the stomach when they operate. The liver-shrinking pre-op regimen is by no means universal, so if your doctor didn't mention it just count your blessings!

I have two daughters, 6 and 9. The only thing I can/will buy for them at Wal-Mart is sweatpants! Everything else is just too "fashionable" and I just refuse to buy into that. Luckily my girls are unswayed by it all, don't have any interest in it and neither do most of their friends. Since they're perfectly mainstream girls I have to assume that MOST girls 5-10 years old could take it or leave all that flashy stuff--it's the parents who are the target market. I used to shop at Target but their tweeners stuff is awful now too. I'm sticking with Lands End overstocks, JC Penney, and nameless local stores carrying second-hand classics.

If you're asking about here then it's A-OK for people to discuss my weight HERE. It's in real life that I can.not.stand for anyone to mention it at all. I'm here, obviously, because I need to be thinking about my weight and talking about my experience (good or bad) is part of that. But in my daily life I'm focused on other things and consider any mention of my weight an etiquette violation--except by very close friends.

Happy birthday!! I've been scarce but wanted to check in with my band-buddies. I haven't lost any weight beyond the 1st 8-10 lbs, and am sort of struggling to maintain even that. My first fill isn't for another 6 weeks (!) but it is what it is. Halloween, my birthday, and Thanksgiving lay between me and my first fill, so I'm just hopeful I won't be moving up another BMI point in the meantime. Glad to see everyone doing so well!

Argh. I've been so busy with a new job and all that I completely spaced on having a 6-week postop checkup. So it wasn't until more than 8 weeks later that I went in, and got clearance to schedule my first fill. Then I did the phone-tag dance with the office for three days, and by the time I connected with someone it was a week later. Finally I have my fill scheduled...on NOVEMBER 29!! Argh. It will be all I can do to maintain until then, but will have to face Thanksgiving with no restriction!! Oh boy.

Tuesday night was great, really, sort of to my surprise. I used to go to new-patient seminars all the time but haven't in quite a while, and I had forgotten how inspirational they are--for ME. I was reminded all over again how blessed I am to have this band, to live where I live, to have had the skills and resources to go up against my insurers, and to have my doctors office be so supportive. It's just been an amazing ride and Tuesday night brought it all home once again. (And it was all about the band, for a refreshing change! Those seminars are usually heavily weighted toward RNY, no pun intended.) Khaliah Ali was a wonderful speaker! And the new job is amazing, stressful, fun, scary, basically all the things I'd hoped it would be. I am SO HAPPY to be out of that insurance office!! Still selling insurance, though, so if you know anyone who needs a NJ small group plan, send 'em my way. )

Hi Rain! Congratulations on your fill! You may be like me and find that it takes some time--even as long as a week or two--for the fill to "kick in" and really make itself felt. I remember it once taking three weeks. So don't give up or leap to conclusions. Just give your body time since many of us (especially women!) find that our bodies take a little while to sort of "realize" a tightening has taken place. You are doing so well!! :biggrin1:

I am always telling people not to panic if they get something unexpected from their insurer or their medical provider. I swear, more than 50% of the time it seems claims are denied for some technical or inaccurate reason. Patients have to be more alert than ever to KNOW what benefits they are entitled to so they can keep their cool when a denial comes through. Paying a bill that you didn't think you should be responsible for is the LAST thing to do. Get help if you don't understand something; call the carrier first and find out why they processed the claim as they did. Most of the time it's just a mistake on their part and one call will fix it up. Good on you, and congratulations!

Hi Stacey, Typically, insurers will only approve an exception like the one you describe if there is truly no one IN the network within a reasonable distance to provide the care. Is there some specific reason you can't use someone else, other than personal preference? If not, and you're determined to stay in-network, you may have to switch physicians.