ryansgirl

thanks guys so much! yes it was a lot of hard work the only key i really know that work is to stay persistent i had alot of people who told me i should be glad to make it 170 but that is not what i had wanted. exercise is very much so part of my life. don't forget fitness is a journey too who know next maybe i train to climb a moutain well it a thought. point is look at this as your golden shot. personally i don't eat beef, chicken or turkey anymore just seafood and veggies. sadly im addict to splenda and i'm trying really hard to get rid of it (but i really like) ive find new hobbies. there life outside the kitchen. i've taken up Adult ballet and i find it fun and to be a great workout for the body as well. also my taste buds have done a 360 as well things i use to love before just are not for me anymore result of the surgery? i don't know maybe maybe not. my mind has be though so much rewiring i can't really tell lol. at my weight i was really regretting getting the sleeve in my early start because after the first 80 maybe it seem like the sleeve wasn't enough but then i realize regradless of what i had i had to do the work. do i worry about it streching no. i always wonder why people do considering no one can make you eat a whole cake and it not really magical like i thought before i had surgery. it an awesome tool and im glad i chose the sleeve but it will always be up to me how it will end. so i have no magic in a bottle just a clean diet and plenty of exercise that i had to make part of my life and i never make excuses for myself, to quit. really it does became second nature after a while.

So i made it past goal (150 now I'm 147)so that put me down for a 176 pounds in 13 months not too shabby i say. sorry guys not really liking the new layout of site too busy for me (for those who have adhd you understand) when i get the ambition i will figure out how to put my new pics up. but anyway it been a wild ride thus far and to think this new year eve (if i;m bless to see it) it wont be about weight lol. i had a aunt that died 7 weeks ago that just broke my heart she never got a chance to see me thin again and i never got a chance to show her my ring and worst of all to say i love you, goodbye, and i sorry for not calling and thanks for loving me rasing me, ect,,,(for those who don't know i got engaged on august 23 my aunt died august 31) she was only 58. three weeks before she died she told my mother for me to call her and i have no excuse for not doing it the week i was going to call her (she died of a aneursym (sp) this is my first death ever (this women raised me for eight years. she was the first parent i ever had my parents had me young and they had to find themselves i guess) ironically i allowed myself to feel everything i didn't stuff my feelings this time and i shared how i felt with the other family members. anyway to make a long story short my mother and i are closer then we every been i check on everybody now. i have forgiven and ive ask for forgiveness as well to those ive might or have done wrong i forgot how much my family loves me. i know death is real but i mean for me it was like a reality check or something maybe those who remember their first experience w/death know how i feel maybe?????? i don't know. anyway on the upside i stand up for myself now ( of course it always ladyllike lol). i met a lot of new friends and i get out the house every chance i get! i have grown SO much as a person I've truly learn and have empathy for people and it has help me with a lot with my anger towards things and people. somethings i learn the weight did not fix my problems that i use to blame my weight on those are inner things Im still working on. i enjoy my meetings with my therapist and i love my OA meetings. but i love life and i think i get life now it not suppose to be perfect it just life and i can accept that. accept is another word i use a lot now lol because when you can do that you made the first step towards a lot of things to change. so ladies and gent this is what my weight-loss journey has done for me yes it great to be slim but i feel more emotional mended and it make me feel a lot better period of who i am and i don't compare or beat myself up anymore about my so call flaws. I'm a gypsy at heart and that OK! also thank you guys for your love and support as well! sorry for the long post by the way.