Hi all,
This group is pretty buried within the forums, so I can see how I missed it until now (and I can also see why it's pretty inactive). I would have really liked to read a story like mine from someone else while I was researching the sleeve surgery.
So, here's my story and I hope it helps someone. I would love to hear from anyone and try to pump some life into this forum! I'm a newbie, just 12 days post-op, so I am still learning everyday and ask the veterans dumb questions all the time. But I still think my experience just coming to terms with knowing the sleeve was for me might help another low BMIer in a similar situation.
I'm 31 years old, 5'6" and started at 180lbs (29 BMI). I had a lot of backlash from friends and family when I made my mind up to go forward with this, but ultimately everyone ended up being supportive after they realized there was no talking me out of it and the surgery was done. For low BMIers wondering if the sleeve is too drastic for them, I'll tell you it's a personal choice and a lifelong commitment.
That being said, I was a major yo-yo dieter. I binged on food for weeks, gain 35 pounds, then went vegan cold turkey (cold tofu? Lol). Lost 30lbs. Then went on a binge, gained 40lbs, then did Atkins (extreme difference from vegan), lost 35lbs. I've been repeating this cycle of bingeing then dieting (insert any fad diet here: HCG diet, Orange Theory obsession, phentermine, personal trainer 3x, vegetarian, back to Atkins, Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers...) since I was 12 years old. Anyway, the highs got higher and I never made it back to my pre-binge numbers.
I got exhausted from dieting. Frustrated with myself and my lack of impulse control. I looked into WLS. My mom is the same as I am, just add another 100lbs. I went with her to a weight loss seminar and learned about the sleeve. I was ready to sign up then and there; finally, I found something that could be a real tool to help me maintain a healthy weight for life - you can't binge if you can only eat a half a cup of food at a time!
Unfortunately, the US healthcare system wanted me to be a 35 BMI to get the surgery. And, if I wanted to waste a couple years of my life, I guarantee I would've made it there, and I would have brought along my new friends diabetes, high BP, and joint pain.
Instead, I researched getting the sleeve in Mexico where I could pay a fraction of the cost of surgery in the US, and they were willing to do the surgery within 2 weeks of my filling out paperwork and a deposit for just about anyone BMI 28 or higher.
I went w/ Dr. Ortiz at OCC. I was THRILLED with the entire experience. When I arrived in Mexico I began having doubts, but the staff and the other patients put me at ease. There were several very low BMI patients with my same issues. An interesting fact the surgeon told me is that once you gain 30 pounds the likelihood of you losing the weight and keeping it off without surgery is 10%. I already knew I didn't fall into that 10%. So I did it on 7/22/16. After my pre-op diet (which was absolutely the hardest part of this entire process!), I weighed 173 pounds on date of surgery.
I'm 12 days out and weigh 163lbs now. I really think that being low BMI and healthy were 2 major reasons I had such an easy surgery. Aside from a little nausea caused by the anesthesia (I never threw up, just felt icky for about an hour) and getting the gas out, I had no complications. My incisions are all tiny. I have no pain in my abdomen. I'm a stomach sleeper and can sleep on my stomach. I was only on pain meds a couple days past surgery (and I just took what I was told, not sure I even had any pain ever).
Getting 64oz of liquid in the first 2 days didn't happen for me, but as soon as I could introduce the Protein Shakes, this process became totally workable. I'm currently drinking 3 Premier Protein drinks p/day and get 90g of Protein per day. I drink 48oz of regular Water and 16oz of Vitamin Water. I enjoy Tomato Soup with almond milk and yogurt drinks (the yogurt adds another 12g of Protein, bringing my count up to 102g) as my Snacks. I mix my Vitamins with the Soup and the yogurt, because I'm not supposed to take them as pills yet.
The biggest issues for me are mental. At this point, I haven't had solid food yet, so I just miss eating. I get to start my pureed phase on 8/5, so I'll let you know how it goes. I'm very excited for cottage cheese, poached eggs and the ricotta bake!
My dr's goal for me is 150lbs, because that puts me in the healthy BMI range, but my goal is 130lbs.
Here's my before shot, I'm going to update it on the 22nd of each month:
I found an individual bottle of the berry flavor and got it to try. I liked it a lot. A little on the sweet side but basically tastes like sugar free juice. Pretty good. I watered it down just a touch and I really liked it after that. So much easier to get it down than a thick shake and just as much Protein as a Protein Bar. I am going to go to Walmart and get some of the packs and different flavors after work.
Isopure is a Protein drink but many people can't tolerate it after surgery. Many say it's too sweet. Be cautious and don't over buy because what you may like now can very well change after surgery. Many people get the premiere Protein Shakes from costco or SAMs because it is cheaper there. I tend to order my Calcium from Amazon because I can get the big bag of 90 for around $35 and it will last a month and a half. After the first few months I haven't had a need to supplement with any protein shakes as I am getting enough from the food I eat. I use the flintstones complete chewable vitamins (2/day) along with the calcium and a b complex from the drug store and my labs are perfect.
Go back to full liquids rather than stress about it. Its still early and you are still swollen. Many postop diets don't progress to purees that quickly. Take your time! Stress at work could certainly be adding to it. Hope you get the weekend off!
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Your story is amazing! You did so well, and to have gotten yourself in such great shape with four kids?!?! That's awesome!
My heart hurts for you that at every turn your efforts have been twisted into something sordid and gossiped about. I'm so glad you and your husband found your way back to each other despite adversity.
This is my journey. You may judge me by it, but maybe you can relate to some of it, or maybe it's going to shock you. Either way hopefully something in my story will help you; hopefully you will see that it's not just being overweight that is the hard part; that WLS is not the “easy” way to go and that this decision affects every part of your life.
This is my journey. You may judge me by it, but maybe you can relate to some of it, or maybe it's going to shock you. Either way hopefully something in my story will help you; hopefully you will see that it's not just being overweight that is the hard part; that WLS is not the “easy” way to go and that this decision affects every part of your life.
Life is never perfect; if I could go back, I would tell myself that with losing the weight and transforming into the person I wanted to be comes a whole new set of problems.
I am 34 years old, fairly healthy; I started my wweight loss journey in 2013. I had tried working out, boot camps, over-the-counter medication, weight loss plans and books. Nothing seemed to work for me. I had been married at that point for 13 years, have four beautiful healthy children, and had been pregnant nine times. My body had taken a beating and at only 5'2" tall, the excess weight made me feel like a blimp. I was always hungry. I would eat my meal, and then finish my children's meal as well. It's not that I ate badly, I just ate a LOT.
I decided that I wanted more information on the lap band, but knew that my health insurance had certain steps I had to take before they'd even consider that a possibility. I met with the nutritionist, and we sat down and made a plan. I went on two different prescriptions. One was an appetite suppressant, and the other was an antidepressant with a side effect of decreased appetite. When after a few months of taking medication, going to Boot Camp and logging all of my efforts- did not seem to have much effect on my weight; my nutritionist ran some blood work and decided that I met the criteria for weight-loss surgery.
I was shocked; I did not think for one second that I was heavy enough to qualify for weight-loss surgery. At my heaviest, I weighed 204 pounds. That may not seem like a lot to you, but remember I'm only 5'2"(I'll include some photos so you can see for yourself). My health insurance required that I attend mandatory classes once a week for three months before covering the surgery. These classes taught me how to eat, what to expect, Vitamin intake etc. after and before surgery.
I was very excited about the surgery. Right away after starting the classes I decided that the lap band was not for me and that I would go for the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery. I thought that it would not only help my eating, but be a permanent change vs. something that has a shorter lifespan (lap-band for example).
I was an active person, but I could've out eaten a lot of people. I was not the first in my family to have the surgery either, six people in my family and close friends had the same procedure done and I knew what to expect going in to it. To my surprise though, I did not get the support what I expected from the family. Suddenly they were anti-surgery, and telling me that I did not need it and that I would regret it. It confused me because I had seen them successful with it and yet they did not want the same for me. Secretly I felt that it was jealousy, or fear that I would suddenly be skinny and then they would feel competitive with me for some odd reason. Everyone was so used to me being a chubby housewife; they didn't need to feel insecure around me. I understood it to the point, I wouldn't feel comfortable going out or being in a bathing suit around super skinny person either, but this was my family. They had no reason to feel insecure around me; we weren't in any sort of competition.
Surgery day came, and I was ready and excited. It was relatively smooth for me, no complications, no excessive pain. The one thing I can say is that everything was too sweet for me for the few months following surgery. My car air freshener was too sweet I felt sick smelling it; all the Protein Drinks and bars were too sweet. I ended up buying unflavored Protein and adding it to my Soups and broths, etc. Also, immediately following surgery I was very thirsty. My mouth was always dry and I craved the ability to drink gulps of Water, but couldn't. I'd have pain from even drinking one ounce of water too fast, and if I drank cold fluids, I would have that same pain so I stuck to room temperature. I did however find relief in munching on the crunchy ice that I found at my local gas station. It kept my mouth moist and gave me relief.
When the weight started coming off, I couldn't help but smile. I got so used to watching it coming off daily that when it started to slow down a bit I got scared. I realized that my working out had to increase. No longer would the regular walks around the block be enough. That's when I got into a gym that I actually liked. I did not feel insecure there, it was not full of people that I thought were judging me, and it was something that I have actually stuck with now for over a year. I fell in love with Zumba, I fell in love with the staff and felt that I was supported by the people at the gym. I started working out daily and working out hard. I started seeing a difference in my body structure; my stomach muscles were getting defined and my arm muscles were showing. It was very important to me not to have excess skin if I could help it, so I worked really hard and pushed myself at the gym even to the point of throwing up. I had not thrown up from working out before, this was new to me; but it felt great. It felt great to post pictures of my progress and have people comment about my “six-pack”. Was this really me?
Part of my motivation came from social media. Letting friends know I was at the gym, kept me going to the gym. They motivated me. It held me accountable. I also started getting messages from friends that wanted to know more about WLS. I wasn't hiding it, and was sharing my journey. I would post pictures of my progress. I felt proud of my hard work and people wanted to see how I was progressing. That was where some problems started to arise in my marriage. My husband didn't want pictures posted that showed my stomach. He was thinking of them in a way I wasn't.
A problem I did not expect, was having to buy new clothes pretty much weekly. Every week my jeans would be looser and not fit me right, and after losing the weight the last thing you want to do is look heavier than you actually are. I was going shopping buying new clothes smaller and smaller each week, and I was excited that I could actually shop at stores that I never could walk into in the past. When I could fit into a size “0” I almost fainted. It was a proud moment for me. I was thin, but healthy. My doctor checked me regularly and I had muscle tone.
Strangely though, I noticed people starting to treat me a little bit different. Certain family members were very cold towards me suddenly, and pulling away from me and becoming more distant. It felt as though I was getting judged, people thinking that I was losing too much weight, or dressing differently and becoming more “sexy” in my attire. I didn't feel this way though, I felt like I was finally able to dress in style versus dress in overweight sweaters that came down below my waist and loose cut jeans. That was always my thing wearing shirts or sweaters that came down and hung below my waist, made me feel like he was hiding my stomach for some reason. LOL, as if it actually hid the fact that I was fat.
As the people around me started to change, I started to see my marriage for what it was. Not that it was bad, but there were things that I was trying to turn a blind eye to that I no longer feel I needed to. I suddenly felt like I was worth something, and that I didn't need to be turning a blind eye to anything. I felt that I deserved to be happy, and with that in mind so did he. I gained confidence; not that I changed, but I was able to be me for once and not feel worthless. I had felt like I could not live without him, that I couldn't survive. I was codependent and with the weight dropping off I suddenly felt like I could do anything I set my mind to. I felt like if I wasn't happy, I needed to make myself happy and not depend on anyone else to do so. I started to express my needs for more in our marriage and he was so used to our “routine” that he didn't hear me or take me seriously.
People started telling me that I was changing; people started thinking that losing the weight was turning me into a different person. They blamed my decisions on the weight loss, versus just finally standing up for myself. I felt confident enough to go out and dance, confident enough to go have a drink with a friend and not feel like a fat blimp.
My husband had gone through the surgery, and I had seen him lose weight. Our reactions to each other's weight loss were quite different though. When he lost the weight, I wanted to lose weight as well and started working out more and more. But for him, when I lost the weight he got more and more jealous and insecure about himself. Suddenly in his mind I was having affairs, or wanting to be with other people because I was losing weight. Arguments became more and more frequent, and it ended with him becoming cold and pulling away from me more and more. I wanted more in my marriage. I wanted affection, love and an emotional connection.
Everyone around me (besides select few) started talking about me negatively. I was either too skinny, or making bad decisions. It was shocking to me, because they were so used to me doing nothing for myself and staying home while they all went out, that the minute I decided that I wanted one night a week for myself, they could not handle it. Looking back at it all, I realize now that I was expecting my husband to be happy in our marriage, when I was not happy with myself. I feel that in order for you to be happy in your life, you must be happy with yourself. How can I expect him to be happy with me, if I wasn’t?
One night my husband and I got into an argument. I was pouring my emotions out to him and as expected, he just sat and watch TV and when I was done telling him that I needed him to be there emotionally, he told me he did not give a f$&@ and to just go hire an attorney. That was it for me. Something clicked and I just thought to myself, I can do this on my own. I don't want to cry myself to sleep. I want to feel loved. I'm beautiful and smart and I should be with someone who loves me, not with someone because it's routine. So I hired an attorney and so began my “new life”.
Now this is not going to go as you'd think. My husband and I are still together, and happier than ever. But the journey isn't something that I expected.
We separated. He was shocked. I had actually gone through with it. Drawn up and signed papers. Served him and discussed custody. It got ugly and he couldn't see where this came from besides the weight loss. So that's what he told people. Suddenly I had people talking to me about the surgery and divorce statistics. I received emails of the news reports on the surgery and divorce, and people kept telling me that I was making a bad decision. What did they know? They did not realize the lies that were told or things that happened behind closed doors at my house. On the outside we seemed like the perfect marriage, but they didn't know the pain inside. Of course it was easy for them to blame the weight loss, but I don't. I still don't to this day. I do think however that it did give me confidence in myself, and helped me to believe in myself and feel that I had some sort of worth.
While we were separated, I went to out with my friends. Once a week I would have a night out. I would let loose and have fun. Sure, I got hit on, but that wasn't where my mind was. It felt strange to me to have a man approach me, and many times I looked at my friends to rescue me from these moments.
Suddenly I noticed friends and family looking and treating me differently. Friends were now choosing sides. I even had a family member spying on me and relaying all to my husband. People that I thought loved me, didn't bother to a check in with me, but judged me instead.
During this time I kept working out, kept eating right and kept up on my blood work ordered by my doctor to check my progress. My body was transforming into the body I'd always dreamed of. The more weight I lost, the more of my breast size I lost. I went from a DD to a small B cup. The excess skin that I had was on my Breast and my stomach. Sure when I stood up you could see my stomach muscles, but when I sat or bent over, the skin would hang and wrinkle up. I needed plastic surgery. I expected it though, so that wasn't a shock. The price tag was though. I am going to need $14,000 to get my breasts and stomach done. I'm hoping to get the procedure in the next few months. My inner thighs are another area that I have excess skin. There is a surgery for that, but I have decided against it (for now).
I throw up more than usual. I think though that it's because I use my limits. I have a food addiction; it's hard to just take a small bite, even when you know you feel full. My solution when eating out is to box most of my meals right when I get them.
Another side effect I was now going through was Hair loss. I noticed it falling out more and more. It was thin and straw like. I started taking hair Vitamins, but it kept getting worse. I decided that wearing a wig was a solution that I could afford and one that would not harm what little hair I had left. I loved them too. I'd never had long hair and it looked amazing. Of course the minute I started wearing the wig, people started talking more and more. Those that cared enough to hear my reason, understood it; but family just thought it was me changing from the surgery yet again.
I just couldn't win. Every step I took was judged and every step I took to make me feel good about myself was interpreted as me wanting to be single or making bad decisions.
My husband and I were going to counseling, we were having date nights and trying to talk about things that had been hidden for years (yes, secrets came out). We were trying to talk with the kids and let them know we were working on making our marriage work.
The minute we knew something changed and that we were falling back in love with each other, was the minute all of my thoughts on the family were confirmed. When we announced that we were staying together, certain people in the family showed their true colors. They were in fact jealous. I was even told that I looked like a “crack whore”. Really? So losing weight, standing up for yourself and what you believe in and being happy was suddenly a behavior I was to be apologizing for and me being a healthier version of me made me a drug addict?
So when I was fat, I was fat and put down. Now that I'm skinny, I'm too skinny for their liking? Again, I can't win.
My husband realized I needed him and his support. He began to see things for what it was with the family. He finally saw how I was treated and took a stand himself. We realized that outside influences were interfering with our happiness and we decided to pull away and focus on OUR family and not others.
I've learned that people project their anger, insecurities and unhappiness on those around them that are happy.
I've learned that I should have known I was worth something before the weight loss and if I had maybe it wouldn't have been such an easy target for the people around me.
I've learned that if I'm happy with myself, it doesn't matter what anyone else says.
I've learned how to eat right, enjoy working out and take pride in my health.
I've learned that with confidence comes insecurities in those around me and that I need to reassure those closest to me that I was still me.
I took boudoir pictures for my husband’s 40th birthday. I never thought I could do it, but I did and it was an amazing experience. It was empowering for me. I felt proud of my hard work. I felt sexy. When I saw the pictures, I cried. It didn't feel real. Didn't feel like I could ever look that beautiful. Then again, maybe I always was?
My journey is mine. Maybe some of it you'll relate to, or maybe not. But I felt it should be told.
I am not sure which board you looked at, but /r/deadbedroom is understanding, and they have some sub forums. Your situation is a little different since its not just a sexual issue, but a sexual orientation issue. Even if you don't post you can read, there are lots of people that live in marriages without sex and them seem okay.
@@Smye
I don't know if you use Reddit, but that would probably be a better place to talk about this than here.
Also everyone deserves to be loved, and desired. I'm not going to say anything else, but keep that in mind when you are making your life choices, you deserve someone that loves and desires you, everyone does.
It's good to hear from someone in the same position that I am. It's so very true that love and sexual attraction aren't always the same. I hope for both of us that our spouses respond positively to our changing bodies.
I am relieved that I am not the only person seeking WLS who has come to love and feel beautiful in the body that I inhabit at my largest. I struggle with reconciling my choice to have WLS and my current identity as a fat and confident woman. I don't know how my wife will respond to my skin apron when I am on the other side of this surgery, I know she will love me, but sexual attraction and love are not always the same thing.
Good luck! I hope to keep reading posts from you.
You are not the only one - it's common. Go over the reasons why you are having surgery and what you want to do when you lose weight! Remember only 5% of people who lose weight on their own keep it off! That's a pathetic statistic. Stay strong!
Hello all,
Please tell me I'm not the only one. I am two weeks away from VSG and I am regretting my decision already. The first thing that comes to mind is that I could do this by myself. I know that is a lie because I've tried so many things in the past. I assume that this feeling is coming from the fear of surgery, I honestly don't have a clue. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that the surgery as well as diet and exercise will ensure some weight loss. Please tell me I'm not the only one with this feeling......
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Hi everyone I am just starting my journey. Had my educational class yesterday. I was told with my insurance 3-4 mos max. I live in NC.
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This month will be my 4th of 6 month's weigh in with PCP and visit with nutritionist. I am hoping to schedule for surgery in September. Welcome! I'm originally from PA, now in AZ but my family is predominantly PA, MD and Va.
I'm in the process of getting my first one at 55 years old. It signifies my WL journey. From "ugly duckling" to "beautiful swan". Even though I never thought of myself as an ugly duckling....
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I decided to do something really different that I'd thought about doing for a while but never did when I reached goal, so I got a tattoo. It's a reminder of the determination needed to succeed.
Well people have been explaining why.
I just don't understand why you didn't just skip over the thread if it truly doesn't interest you, but you support others doing their thing. Why make the comment?
I have 5 tattoos. My first one is a semicolon on my wrist. It symbolizes that I will go on no matter what my struggles were in the past. My second one was a mountain range on my other wrist. I love the mountains and my soul truly feels at home when I'm there. The 3rd is a broken arrow on my left ring finger. Though my path is broken, I continue forward. The 4th is a Number 3 in calligraphy on the ring finger of my left hand. It symbolizes my 3 children. And the 5th is the one pictured. It is a Viking stave that represents safe passage through rough seas/safe journey. I got this one just this past week.
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