Cangel76

Well girls and guys, I made it. I made it to the under 200 mark which I have not been at in, I don't know, five years maybe, maybe a little less. I think the hardest part for me is I am not seeing it yet. I mean, other people see it a little, but I am not seeing it yet. So my next goal isn't a weight one, it's an out of the Plus Sized clothing section one. This will take some time I fear. LOL I am still in 20s.

SOOOOO My updates are not fantabulous but some new things have come about. I now have a strange lump on my neck by my skull, hoping it is a cyst of some sort. Every time I eat I get severe sharp pains on my left side under my ribs and I am concerned. Besides that.... GUESS WHAT>>> I am thinner than I was six months ago and hoping to keep going. Celeste Short and sweet, and no one thought I could do that!

Okay everyone, I am six months post op and this is weird. Every time I eat, with in ten to fifteen minutes I suffer severe pain in my left side. It hurts when I touch it too. It isn't up by my stomach at all, it is lower, like across from my belly button and right on my side, just under the rib cage.... Any ideas? I mentioned this to the Doctor last time and he said he didn't think it had anything to do with the surgery but it is only when I eat. So it has something to do with that general area.

No let me state I do not love ALL things Easter Candy. I do not love Jelly Beans or Marshmellow chicks, what I doooo LOOOOOVVVEEEE is Hollow chocolate. As I sit her and write this I realize I made a very misguided or, perhaps just miscalculated decision, I bought a Hollow Chocolate Easter Bunny. NOw this bunny purchase is not going to put a million pounds back on me, but as the bunny stares at me Mockingly it puts me at a risk of possibly over indulging. Now I promised myself I would be okay to have a little of.... I told myself it would be okay to have a bite of his ear..... Essentially it is but my question is, what is the risk of me devouring the entire bunny in one sitting. Though essentially not the end of the lap band procedure but not the best choice in the world. The thing that I thought today, and this is faulty food thinking at it's finest is.... "If I eat it all, at least it will be gone and I will not have to worry about eating it later." So in other words I would only have guilt one day and not two. Yah that is a benefit some how? Seriously, why do we put ourselves in situations that test us so early on. Just having had surgery, not even a full 6 months out quite yet, another week, there are a lot of foods that still are foods that make me weak. My comfort foods, Pizza, Chocolate, Chips and Cheese, etc.... I have to know to be smart about these choices and so far, the last few months I have fallen into old habits. I am stating here in this blog, after Easter, I am making drastic changes. I am also looking into healthier non meat protein sources. My husband will hate me but I do not care, it is about me being authentic and true to me. I really have to make some better choices and I was, but now I have to get back on the bandwagon. Darn you CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNY FOR MOCKING ME and for making me realize I need some better foods in my house.

Funny thing about blogging and posting updates is life catches up with you sometimes. I have been so busy with school work, the children, etc, that I forgot I even had an account here. So here is where I am, BMI is about 36, 9 more points to get to 25, 20 would be my ideal. 186, yah me! OKAY SO THE STORY: This is where I post something inspirational.... So I was thinking yesterday about all that has happened since my surgery. I went in for surgery saying that my weight was just caused my medical situations and I am finding out more and more that part of my problem really is FOOD. I LOVE FOOD and the flavors of certain foods. In fact if they could just add some fiber and protein to Dove chocolate, I might live off of it. So here is some thoughts on food. 1. Food tastes good, if it didn't we wouldn't eat. 2. Humans are over indulgent as a general rule. We love "things", many people want nice cars, houses, clothes, shoes, purses, etc. Imagine for a moment if we lived in a society where we had just what we needed. A roof over our heads, clothing hand made, gardens, etc. What would happen if we had just what we needed and couldn't run to the grocery store and buy crap. 3. Prepackaged foods are cheaper and easier for us as we work late hours and rush around. Why not grab those instant potatoes? Have you ever really thought about how much time it really saves you as you load yourself, your family and even your children with sodium. yummers NOT 4. What is most important in our lives, we need to set priorities right? Since loosing this 50lbs I walk my son to school in the morning, even though he is on a bus route and shouldn't walk, we also walk home. I play outside with my ten year old son and the kids, running around with swords and having a blast. I appreciate food more and I am trying to learn to add in what I love in a smart and intelligent way. I am altering my children's lives, they do not get candy filled easter baskets or stockings stuffed with junk. Everything given to them is thoughtful and not a "FOOD" source. It is amazing how much we feed our children. Here are some examples how psychologically we are wired to eat just for enjoyment: 1. Potty training, "if you do good you get an M&M". 2. Rewards, "if you get all A's you can go to your favorite restaurant." 3. The idea of ice cream when you are sad. 4. Babies, they are crying, you don't know for what so you just keep feeding them, thus they are being wired to believe that the bottle, or a breast, or whatever, which is food, is used to comfort. If this surgery has taught me one thing and one thing only it is, that many people suffer from issues with food. Huge issues, small issues, why in the world are we giving children gum, lollipops and ice cream, why start them there? Explain to me why we feel the need to load cheese on everything we eat? Oh and it isn't just the eating, we gain weight, get fat, get depressed, don't get out and do things. Like walking with our kids, or playing or running or swimming, or or or or or.... We hide which thus makes us eat more. The more I am home the more I pick at food. We as humans are not supposed to sit all day. Evolution has brought us into this comfort zone of boredom and what happens is this, we are naturally hunters and gatherers, leave us in one place too long with an unoccupied mind, we are going to hunt and gather something for our stomach. Water is our best friend, random I know but if you are going to hunt and gather something, make it water. We need to admit our failures to everyone, if I eat an entire chocolate easter bunny, I NEED TO ADMIT IT, because once I try to hide it, I am showing signs of an addict because if I feel that I need to hide the food then I am feeling guilty about eating it. Be honest wtih yourself and most of all FORGIVE IT is important to forgive ourselves for food slips and lack of exercise and just start new every day. We don't know what kind of day we are going to have but if we try to plan out our weeks and try and be smart about our food choices in advance, that way if we fall off, we have the right tools to get right back up again. Now go take a walk or something. he he

The band has changed a lot since then. I think the truth is though, the band is a foreign object in the body. It only does so much. So if people are unhappy you have to see why. I had my band done, one incision through the belly button, I ended up with an infection, other than that, I have been golden. The band is a medical device that is put into your body, of course there are chances of complications. Having the Gastric Bypass you can leak and poison your body, the sleeve has complications, etc. I do not recommend doing something like this unless someone has tried EVERY OTHER OPTION.... Honestly, I hope to get down to a good weight, then I would like them to remove all the liquid from the band and give myself six months and see if I can keep it off. To me this is a tool, not the cure all. IF you read lots of posts, you will still gain weight if you make poor dietary choices, or drink alcohol (lots of empty calories) and don't exercise. Many people over restrict and cause trouble for themselves. Some people it just doesn't work for. In the end this is a very personal decision and one that should not be taken lightly. I believe if you have concerns about the media coverage, talk to your doctor. They can tell you the changes that have been made to the band, etc. Good luck, I did it and I don't regret it at all. I am nearly half way to my goal. To me that is amazing. I am in a size 16, haven't been there in 8 years, no matter how much I watched what I ate and exercised. I have medical things that were going on that once I put on the weight it is nearly impossible to take off. I think for me, it was the right decision, maybe not for others.

Weight loss has slowed way down, I have also not made it to the gym. After the stomach virus and other ailments, then being super busy. UGH.... The good news is weight loss is still weight loss. I have been, unfortunately putting weight on and then taking it off. LOL The good news is I am now in a size 16, I haven't been there in nearly 8-10 years. I know what I need to do and I will get back on track. I haven't been drinking my fluids and I have NOT been exercising like I should. I have a lot of self motivation I have to rebuild up. Things happen and I always try to say that it isn't my fault, but me not going to the gym is totally my fault. I am doing four classes a semester with college and I am making excuses why I can't get to the gym. Then I sit on the computer and talk to people. LOL SO whose fault is it that I am not at the gym? MINE So getting off here now to get myself motivated again. I have to drink more, (I am now onto herbal teas for variety and make it a goal to drink water first thing in the morning, afternoon and evening before meals) and not snack. I would love to feel full all the time but I get so gassy since this surgery about 2-3 hours after I eat that I have to put something else in my stomach. I think I just need to start putting an antacid in there. LOL Hope you are all doing well. This journey is a roller coaster but I am still enjoying the ride. I will get to the end, for now I just have to hang on. Celeste PS The hair loss is also depressing me, I have a nearly bald spot, most people say they do not notice it but it is a glaring shiney head. I can see it and I don't like it.

Hello ALL.... I am fighting the band process a bit. I know I wanted this but I also want to be able to eat. I hear these horror stories of people who are not starving but hardly eating. They are loosing clumps of hair and feel tired and yucky. That isn't healthy either. I haven't been exercising lately because I started baby sitting for a friend, when I get back from Florida I will start up again. I started off at 234, was 217 the day of surgery, 222 after surgery. LOL I am now down to 188-190, by the end of the evening I am 192 sometimes. It is all about not drinking enough and eating weird things. Since being banded I have lost some hair and that is bothering me a great deal. I made sure to stay up on my proteins and still lost hair, after becoming depressed, I was eating crap and still loosing weight. That has changed. LOL Though I don't have a food addiction persay, I am a poor food choice person. I know what is healthy but don't feel like putting in the effort to make it. Breakfast is hard because I am sick of eggs. I usually have one protein shake and a piece of toast with banana or something. Then for lunch I am always craving Sushi, so sick of chicken, but everything else gets stuck. Sadly, seriously sadly, I can still eat a decent amount. The other part of surgery I never expected if I do not keep on a schedule for eating I get super gassy. It is embarassing. I now keep a shake with me when I am running around, but that doesn't stop the problem completely. I went from a size 22 and went to buy capris and fit into a size 16, that was the most wonderful moment EVER. So now I know I have to refocus. Banding isn't a one way trip, it isn't point A to point B, we have to stop at C, D, E, F, and maybe our final destination is D or F or K. Part of this is learning about who we are, why we choose the foods we do. Since surgery I am craving Sushi (I get it with the soy wrap) and Mexican. All things that lack a great deal of healthy food choices. I sometimes eat Cheese and Triscuits for Breakfast, six crackers with cheese because it is like 20 grams of protein. I don't know, thinking of getting another fill and need to get back to exercising, because since I stopped going 3-5 days a week I have noticed a huge change. Celeste

I know, we are supposed to be able to eat a 1/4 cup of food, blah blah blah, but after my last fill on thursday it's hard to eat anything, no matter how much I mash it. I actually had pain from eating egg salad. I am definitely not making the proper Protein so I drank a Protein shake and will probably have another one tonight. It is down right painful to eat right now. I get it down but it sure hurts. Even drinking Water can be a bummer at times. Do you think the band is too tight. Today I had maybe two bites of some fish, way less then a 1/4 cup of food and I don't know if I had to stop eating because it hurt so much or because I was full. The last bite I took seemed to just hang out there, and it was good. How much do I need to chew? It was practiclly water. Could it be food choices as much as the tightness in the band. I have literally had the fill thursday and my weight was 195 amd I am now 190. Five pounds in three days seems a wee bit extreme no? I mean I was 193 the day before the weigh in and had water weight from retaining fluids, but now I am wondering, could I have lost 3lbs in just water weight or is the band too tight? Just looking for opinions. Celeste

My name is Celeste, I live in Connecticut, and have battled my weight now for 10 years. I was on a diet and exercise routine prior to becoming pregnant with my son 10 years ago. I was loosing weight slowly thanks to a personal trainer, I was told by my OBGYN though that it would be an up hill battle as I had PCOS. (Poly cystic ovary syndrome) I became pregnant, and gave birth to a beautiful boy I named Brandon. I nursed Brandon and after about four weeks began to put on weight, a pound a week. I became devestated, no matter my best efforts at weight loss, I continued to gain. When I was about 25 I started falling asleep driving. I went and found out I had Hoshimotos, Hypothyroidism. I struggled even further with weight loss even with proper medications. I went to an endocronologist that took me off meds because I was borderline. This began the downfall and weight gain circuit for me. I went to the gym, followed weight watchers, only to continue to gain and put on weight. Obviously this was because I wasn't on meds but I thought I would just hold out. I got married to a wonderful man and ended up getting pregnant a month after we were married. I went to the OBGYN who flipped a gasket because I was not on anything for my hoshimotos and sent me to the doctors, finally on the right meds, I did not gain but five pounds during pregnancy. I mean really, I shouldn't have because I had so much fat anyway. After my daughter was born I dealt with my Endocronologist and was still on meds. Now on meds and regulated I went into a diet and exercise fury and only gained muscle mass but kept fat, so the scale kept going up until a year ago I couldn't fit into my size 20 jeans anymore. I had enough! So six months or so ago I checked my insurance and decided to go this route. My other choice was biggest loser but knew I wouldn't lose all that much and probably get voted off. LOL So here I am, post op now a week and a day, still a little sore but thrilled at my decision. There have already been some challanges but I am sure everything will level off soon. I am excited, and look forward to starting new habits for myself and my family. A ten year old, a two and a half year old, my father whom is disabled from a stroke so I take care of him, three dogs, full time college and a husband, I keep myself busy and just need to remember to eat.

Just wondering how people are doing. I am struggling with the liquid and was told after 7 days I could add in mushy, I have been doing that. Instead of blending though, I just chew really tiny pieces into nothing. LOL Hope everyone is doing well.

After I hit Onederland, after a bout of the stomach virus, I gained some of it back. I am going to the Doctors again to see if I have lost anymore. None of the scales are consistant so I am over figuring out my weight. I know I am exercising and I am dropping sizes, so I am not going to worry about the number anymore. Everyone says I look so much more tone. I did weights today, I do it twice a week because I really do hate weights, I should do it more often but I am there five days a week doing cardio/weight loss so I figure what I am doing is good enough. Still too afraid to take Zumba. All the girls at the YMCA around here are thin and I hate to be the only floppy fat girl in class. It just makes me feel like poop and I don't want to feel like poop. I KNOW it is ME not them. I will get over it, will take time. Today I pumped up my work out and was never so glad to get home and shower, boy did I feel gross. A good kind of gross, not bad. Now I have gotten my shower in and food in my belly, 20oz of water and I am feeling pretty good. I have a doctors appointment in an hour and will see what their scale says, I am sure I will need another fill. I can still eat pretty good amounts, however, I don't want to go too low because I want to get all my protein. Will talk to him about the hair loss also.

I am keeping up with my Protein, to a fault and my hair is still thinning. Does anyone have any advise on this or ideas? I am thinking of going back to prenatal Vitamins because it always makes my hair thicker, my friend mentioned a shampoo at her salon, besides that, I am not sure what else to do. As far as weight loss. I started the Journey at 234 and I am now 197 I think. My scaled puts me as low as 195 but the gym scaled hasn't budged past 199, forever.

Thanks everyone, I have pretty thin hair to begin with so too much hair loss scares me. Some of the girls at my Doctors office are practically bald on top. My friend is looking into getting me the NIoxin Shampoo. UGH

Congratulations that is awesome. The day I got to onederland was the most amazing day. I was telling everyone, so go for it!

I have been away because I haven't had much to post. Still going to the gym, trying to stay healthy, eat right, though I have had a few bad things, but I call the treats. I really do go to the gym 5 days a week and if I only make it 3 I do not beat myself up. I think all in all I need another fill because I can still eat the same amount almost as before. Though food sometimes gets stuck. I just don't want the amounts to be so small that I can not keep up with my protein. Oh and hair loss? Any tips to helping with that, my protein is on target so not sure why the loss of hair.

Congratulations that is great!

I am thrilled to say today I turn 35. I have been to the gym every day except for three when I was sick and I take weekends off. The gym makes me feel so good, my smaller pants make me feel so good. WE are going out to dinner tonight and the thought of not having to cook makes me happy. I am so thrilled to feel this good and have this much energy. My only troublesome thing is it has been two months since surgery and I still get pains on my left side and sometimes the right side. It can be quite painful and I am not enjoying that at all.

I have cried, I cried before because I hated the idea of surgery, I cried after, I cried during. I think that it is part of the healing part, it is us admitting the weight is an issue and yes, it is taking control. It is crying for the time we have lost fighting our weight alone and crying for the joy of being proactive. You will do great and it will be emotional. Each mile stone you reach though, the tears will be replaced with cheers and smiles soon enough.

Congratulations, HOW AWESOME FOR YOU!!!! Keep up the good work, you are doing a great job.

The only restriction you have right now is any swelling that the banding may have caused. So technically you could take anything in. Part of the post op diet is to help you to heal and to help you keep on a restricted diet until your fills. Good luck and I wouldn't worry about the shrimp, that went right through into the belly. IT is normal, I could have eaten five shrimp if they let me.

Bklynike, that is what my post is about, it says, "I will gain the weight back if I forget this is a life time journey." Truth is, it is hard when you have lost and gained weight so much in your life. I think getting rid of that yo yo dieting mentality is hard. In a year I will be at a point hopefully where I am leveled off and worked through these stupid mental fears that pop up. They are irrational, because if I do gain weight, it's my fault.

I am loosing weight, but every time I step on the scale I am expecting to put weight back on, or be at a dead stop. I lost 5 lbs when I had the stomach virus and gained 3lbs back and freaked out. I totally hate that part of the mentality. The expecting that this is all the weight I am going to loose or it is going to come all back at once. Like one morning I am going to wake up and be a size 18 and then the next morning I am going to be a 24. It is a challange to get rid of clothes that no longer fit because I keep thinking, "what if I get fat again?" Truth is, I am only going to gain the weight back if I forget that this is a life time journey and I can't go back to the way I was or I will. Truth is, I am just baffled and amazed that I can not accept that I have lost this weight. I have gone from a 24-18 and the nurse at the office thinks I will be in a 14 by the end of January. Really, how is that possible? I should recognize that it isn't JUST the band that brought me this far. The band hardly has any restriction right now. It is a lot of hard work on my part. I am careful what I eat and I am exercising my butt literally off. I have lost inches and I should be proud, not fearful that it is all coming back. It is really silly isn't it? When you are overweight and spend years yo yoing with your weight up and down and down and up and over and up and,....... Well you understand, when you keep having these moments, it's like, "Hey, what if the same thing happens again." Truthfully one of the only ways it can go back to the way it was is if A. WE allow it to or B. We have something medically not working for us. With the band for once in our lives we can be in control of our destiny.

I had this problem with low calories and started putting on weight. Talk to your Doctor.

I know people who have gone through this surgery and had little to no saggy skin. I think there are a lot of factors that bring that into play. I have the same fears, beyond that I am terrified I won't get enough protein and start loosing my hair. Petrified because my hair is already thin and I hate it. SO think the things you don't like about yourself prior to surgery stick around post surgery it just morphs. I so want a breast augmentation because I nursed two children. If I could go out to California to do it I might be more likely to follow through. We are broke though so I may never have anything done. The biggest thing for me is, I need to loose this weight to be healthy and be able to be around for my kids. Overall, I will look better, no matter what.