What is wrong with me?

I've eaten Easter candy and ice cream. I'm sabotoging myself. I was hoping I could hold out and not have a fill but I'm realizing I need it. I can eat pretty much anything and as much as I want. I'm not making the right choices and I've gained 3lbs. I hurt my back on Easter sunday - I've never hurt my back before. I simply got up from playing with the kids on the floor and had a pinch in my lower back and I couldn't stand up straight. It was so very painful - I could barely walk. I didn't even go to work on Monday and I never miss work. Anyway - I think taking it slow may have helped my port pain - actually I think I've been compensating so much for that pain when bending certain ways that perhaps I created this lower back pain injury. Anyway - it just tells me that I need to exercise, stretch out my muscles and strengthen them to hopefully help that I don't have this happen again.

I was hoping to be smaller by my next business meeting - well its next week - and I'm not any smaller. Also my birthday is in 2 mos - guess I won't be where I'd hoped by that time. The worst part is, that its all my fault. When am I going to fix this? When am I going to make the right choices? Am I greiving the loss of food? I have felt a little depressed about not being able to eat what I want and I've noticed myself eating like I'll never get to eat that stuff again. Self sabotage. I think I'm PMSing also. Lovely.

I'm going to order that book - on cognitive re-learning - its at my local library so I think I'll do that before I go and purchase it.

I'm going to make myself a tip jar - things to distract me in the moment where I want to eat something.

I need to get myself straight! I need to buck up!:scared2:

When were you Banded? I went about 4 months till someone noticed I was looseing weight, and complemented how good I was looking. That was the key that started the ignition, and thats what drives me to continue. If your at the right fill you won't want to eat. By the way what band do you have and how many cc's are you at?

Marshall

Sounds like we have a lot in common! I'm going threw the same drama. I really think I need another fill. As well as band myself from candy/junk food. Not that I consume much of it but I really think because I'm not satisfied I'm on the hunt for food...

Hi Chi-Girl what your going thru is not unusual. I sent you the last comment, but wanted you to know My wife and I both had the surgery. She had it 1 1/2 years before I did. She went in at 226 and is now 158. She's frustreated because she has been at this weight for almost a year. She looks great but wants to loose about 10 more lbs and can't. She is @ 5 cc's on a 10 cc band, I told her to go get another fill it helps. I am now @ 8cc's on a 9cc band. I started @ 249 on 10/8/08 and am now @ 214 I didn't really loose weight and my appite till I got to 8 cc's (sweet spot) and now it's dropping fast and I'm full of energy. We can always help you through your tough times. You can e-mail me @ cmarbarrels@sbcglobal.net

GOD Bless