Lapband Decathlon

I feel like I am in training for the Olympic decathlon, trying to balance the ten events of LapBanding:

1. Seminar – A hurdle cleared with ease…

2. Doctor Visit – A short, but grueling barrage of questions…

3. Head Doctor – Yes, it is just a cigar…Get over it…No I don’t want to talk about my mother…

4. Blood and EKG – 100 Yard dash of testing, seemed to be done to quick to matter, but who cares we move forward

5. Payment/Insurance (Self pay in my case) – Need to pay off my biggest CC so I can use it, getting Cashier’s checks are too much of pain and this way I can’t get the amount wrong.

6. Pro-op Fasting (Shrink liver…Shrink) – In process, but this is a longer run…

7. Pre-op day prepping – Set for April 21

8. Surgery – Set for May 6th

9. Recovery – Got the big body pillow to sleep on…My wife calls it my new mistress…further comments on this subject can only result in me saying something self-destructive.

10. Be a good Lapbander and follow the program – Making plans, as Bobby Knight would say, “Prepare to Win!”