what its like to be me, in one day.

the biggest of my friends here in denton is a size 7 (there are 11 girls 4 guys) then theres me, the 24 whos in size 26 denial.

so my new school was built on a hill, but before that, lets ring the alarm at 7am!

ok so since my surgery, i can tie my shoes, so thats not an issue anymore, yaaay me!

getting on the bus...ok i usually choose the handicapped area seats, because squeezing next to someone is horrible cause i either squish them or hang out in the isle and or being the one in the seat, kinda makes me feel bad when no one sits next to me, of course occasionally the smallest tiny girl will have enough room in the seat next to me.

walking to class, gotten better, but still is a task, i can almost keep up with my friends, but i really gotta powerwalk, some days i try to leave before them just so i can walk at an easier pace and get to class on time

picking a desk...first or second chair in the first row against the wall, but then i feel bad because i don't really fit in the desk and i kinda block the row, my thigh is completely in the isle

oh but my second class of the day has these desk that the chair is fixed, and the desk u pull up from the side and put over your lap. its sad, the desk cuts me in the stomach for 50 minutes. yeah i should be thankful i can get it down, but most of the time i don't take notes cause i don't wanna deal with the pain, hmmm i'lll just get them from someone later.

my last class of the day i hate it, because i have to run from a building across campus to this building and most all the seats are taking these rows are horizontal, fixed chairs and desks, so as i have to squeeze down a row, i wanna freaking cry its soooooo embarrasing because the front of me is knocking people in the heads, they can't move their chairs and the back of me is rubbing on the tops of peoples desks on the row behind me so i'm knocking off papers and water bottles

as a science major, we talk alot about the human body...and my favorite 7 letter word OBESITY, i sit and wonder do people think about me when this topic comes up...i know i shouldn't care, but i'm the biggest girl i've seen on campus in 3 weeks. we've had sociology talks about how obesity is a drain on society, we've had endocrinology talks about diabetes and obesity, just tell the diabetic to lose weight, ah simple enough, i'm not diabetic, but i am obese, i just wanna yell...Please don't think every fat person you see has not tried over a 100 times to lose weight!

my group of 16 doctoral students started a flag football team, guess who was the only person not asked to play, it's like ask me to play, you know i'll say no, but come on,...by the time i found out we had a team, heck they were getting ready for the game...they have invited me to play since i was angry that day, but yeah, i can barely run i know it, so i'm fine,

but everyday after being in class from 9-2, drained i walk back up the hill and go to the gym for 30-60 minutes, i'm at about 6 days a week for the last 3 weeks

i told my mom my school story, she told me the next day that she cried...so bless lapband, i know i whine that i've only lost 27 lbs, but omg, i probably wouldn't be able to sit anywhere at school had i not lost it.

As I read your post, I just KNOW that you are going to be wonderfully successful with this journey. The time will come, and soon, that you will walk with ease, slide by those desks and yes, be asked to be on a team! You didn't get to your educational level in a few months and this journey will take time and patience.

You are going to wear a fabulous slinky dress under your graduation gown!

I don't even know you and I am proud of you--take back your life!!

Judy

I can relate to everything you have said. I am not yet banded but can't wait until I can live a normal life too. You have taken the first step and now it is just a matter of time. You will be getting healthier and smaller by the day. Good Luck to you!!!

dont let it get you down just keep thinking about what you will feel like and look like in about a year. i can totally understand those feelings but you can only go down on the scale and not up. i live in keller about 30 minutes away from denton and my cousin actually goes to school at UNT hey if you ever need to talk ill be more then happy to help anyway i can.

karen