Patience May Be a Virtue.. but..
By KJdallas
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Patience... waiting for appointments... waiting for insurance to decide if they are going to approve. waiting for Dec. 1st- the end of my six month managed "diet"... waiting for surgery... waiting for the first fill.. waiting for the weight to start to come off. I am sick of waiting. Yah, I know it will be worth it in the long run, but what is hard is the here and now.... Being in the moment- it is so much harder to remain upbeat. When I have gained and lost my entire body weight at least 5 times in my life... being told I have to go on a doctor managed diet for 6 months makes me angry. How is this time suppose to be different without doing anything differently? Isn't the lapband my honest attempt at doing it differently? I realize the insurance company is really just trying to weed out those who are being impulsive and are not serious about the surgery and the work that will be required to make permanent change.. but forcing me to do a six month managed diet is really insulting. Why not call it what it is.. a 6 month waiting period.. a cooling off period. No one expects me to lose weight on this "diet" do they?.. In fact, it is in my best interest if i do not....isn't it? I have been over weight my whole life... I could probably give detailed instructions on how to follow about every diet out there. And six months more? What do I really get to do? Question myself.. beat myself up.. lose momentum toward my conviction to change my life.....
A bad day.. a down day... 4 and a half more months to go...
I am grateful that my insurance will even cover the surgery. Many don't. i just think that spending six more months at this weight isn't helping anyone...
Okay.. I got it all out.... be gone negative thoughts..... remember.. patience is a virtue...
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