01/08/08 part 2 the oh crap moment

So... how is everyone? I took a nap. Goal number 1 failed. Then I had some kind of freak mental Britney breakdown. Shit you not. I woke from my nappy-nap, and went all kinds of freak out. I was going thru food withdrawal. I have never felt such discomfort. I can only imagine that this is what a detoxing drug addict feels like. I was crying, sweaty, leg cramps, dizzy, and just not me. I had to EAT.

I wobbled down to the kitchen and made me 1 scrambled egg. No milk no butter, nothing but egg and salt n pepper. It took me forever to eat it and it was sooooo good. I felt better in an instant. I also felt worse since I then felt like a failure to the 10th power.

I have been staring at this computer for about an hour now just reading other peoples tales of "cheating". I dont think I did so bad as compared to some. Every Dr.'s plan of action seems different though. I have liquids til day 9 then I get yogurt.. etc, Day 17 brings todays egg, cheese and taters. Day 32 resumes soft solids/solid solids.

So, I am not done beating myself up but I will do better tomorrow. I am only human and right now, I fell off the wagon a bit. SIGH