Lost in the Sea of Me

Surgery complete. Half way to goal. Happy with the results thus far. But how far am I going? At the moment, I am just adrift in the currents of change and weight loss. Not a bad place to be, for now.

Societal pressures say I should be rail thin. The BMI (to which our insurance companies enslave our health standards to) says I should be very thin, when going by the ideal weight for all of my 63". My boyfriend would like for me to keep some curves. My doctor wants me to lose at least 80lbs, no more than 100. Everyone has an idea of where I should end up, and what I should be. What about me?

Yes, I know. I know. I should get to a place that makes me happy. But where is that? I know I don't want to be rail thin or too thin. I like having curves, but I don't want too many curves. That's why I got the surgery in the first place!

I'm half way to the Doctor's goal. I have time to figure this out. I have time to discover the new physical me that emerges. In the end, fat or skinny, I am still me. I like me. I didn't like the way I looked, but I like ME.

So, here I go, adrift in the currents of change and weight loss. Enjoying the journey.

To thine own self be true.