confused??

I guess it is very normal to have all kinds of emotions running though my head.Reading the forum I can see that I am not along. Which mades it a little easier.I snapped at Paul last night ..Just asked him when was the last time he gave me a compiment and I said it wouldn't kill him to say that I looked nice once in a while. HE got all mad????????????? and didn't speak to me all night ( julies wedding) asshole. But I guess his non answer said it loud and clear that he doesn't think that I look good and has no reason to compliment me. It really hurts , the reality of it ,,but I guess it is true and he is just being kind by not saying anything negitive either. I must say that he never says anything bad about the way I look but he never says anything possitive either. sometime I would just like to hear that he notices me ar all. Is that to much to ask aftr being together for more than 30 years????? Am I just being to sensitive with this surgery on my mind.I know this is something I have to do to get my life back.I really do feel that my life is over and I don't have anything to look forward to at this point. IBut I am still so nervous as to weather I am doing the right thing or am I just grasping at straws again. I have tried so many diets in the past is this just going to be another failed attempt at something I just can not get done.. so much emotion, conected to food.thats all I have left some days. I feel so alone most of the time. ahhhhh having a really bad day I guess.

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