When you don't have food to think about, you have to think about your life

So 1 week out on this clean eating sort of kick, the "i'm starving i'm gonna die" feeling has pretty much worn off (by the way i'm 5 pounds down !) and now that i'm not thinking about food every second ... it made me learn something about myself. The way it happened was so random, I was standing in my driveway, and I saw the lights across the street in the darkness, and felt the humidity in the air and it brought me back to my childhood, and I just started thinking about so many things that I guess I was trying to forget.My best friend leaving, my neighbor dying, feeling inferior to my sister, being bullied, the way i was always told to be quiet and not speak my mind, my step father leaving a few years back, i just thought about all of the things I never faced. I mean i knew they happened but i never faced them because i was always thinking about my next meal .All of it just hit me at once, and I kind of relived each of those days and let myself have that moment to cry about them.

Maybe part of the reason I never could stick to any diet or "way of life" is because it forced me to live in this reality, the one where bad things happen and you have to allow yourself to feel that pain and negativity and then just try to let it go.I dunno i guess you just learn something new about yourself every day when your on the journey