Broken Wing?

Today I am one week and one day post op. God almighty, it seems like 2 months!!! I've had a lot happen in the past 8 days........and a lot of emotions to work thru.

But I've gotta say, I LOVE MY SLEEVE!!!!!!........and I'm not talking about that cute little sweater sleeve I wear over my sleeveless shirts so my arms don't frighten small children. I Love my VERTICAL GASTRIC SLEEVE.

I am in Utopia. This must be what it is like, cause wow, this is awesome.

I've been hungry for the past 25 years of my life..........yes, I said HUNGRY. I'd stop eating after a while during a meal, but rest assured I was hungry. I was always hungry.

I hate being hungry.

And I'd deny myself food trying to build will power (whatever the hell that is).

My dad had even suggested I pray to enjoy the feeling of being hungry..........(he loves me)......so it wouldn't be so awful.

Ok, 25 years of being hungry and attempting to build will power...............and I was no closer to reclaiming myself. (I don't know where I lost me.....could have been in the airport. Who knows?)

Now, I know, portion control has something to do with it...........but starving and feeling denied doesn't.

I know when I am hungry now. I get something to eat (I'm still on the liquid/semi-solids) and after 3-4 ounces I'm full...........and satisfied!!!!

To be satisfied!!! Oh how wonderful!!!! I didn't know that was what was missing. It is so un-real.......a few bites, and like magic......I'm full and satisfied!!!!

I laughed with my husband last night over this. I was telling him, I'm gonna be one of those thin chicks in an amazingly sexy dress with damn fine high heels at a cocktail party with 3 bites of appetizer on her plate and 1 martini that will last the whole night long!!! ..........I'm gonna be a stereotype!!!!!

And I will be satisfied.............(and he's excited that I have become the world's cheapest date!!!!!!!)

I don't remember the last time I felt so excited and FREE. It honestly feels like the shackles have been taken off my feet and I might just about be ready to fly.

Makes me think of the words to Martina McBride's song (yes, I know it was about domestic abuse, but somehow I get the feeling I may have domestically abused myself somewhere along the past 25 years)

And with a broken wing, she still sings

She keeps an eye on the sky.........oh yes I do!!!

With a broken wing she carries her dreams.........of marvelous dresses and amazing high heels

Man, you oughta see her fly!!!