I am weightless..........and I'm not talking about those 3 numbers on my scale. I'm talking about my soul. I have found myself to be unbelievably happy, giddy in fact.
Why? I am no longer guilty.
I can only compare how this feels to 3 prior events in my life -
1. When I realized my relationship with God was between me and him - alone.
2. When my good-time boyfriend became my love of my life, best-friend husband.
3. When a fine doctor in Birmingham Alabama gave me my very first day of no head pain - in 33 years of life.
I had no idea I'd been carrying around this incredible weight of guilt related to my own obesity and food. This is marvelous! I feel free.......and empty.
I am seeing the world thru a whole new pair of glasses. I have the emotional energy to do things I used to sit on my hind quarters and think about.
Case in point, I hate to exercise. I'd always hoped I could come to view it as a necessity of life, like brushing your teeth. I don't love to brush my teeth, but I do love the after effects. In any event, I went with the hubby and 17 year old to our local Y on Saturday to "work out". I walked a little over half-mile on the treadmill and did some weight lifting for the arms (keep in mind, I am not 2 weeks post op yet). I wasn't miserable. I dare say, I kinda enjoyed it. And I'm going back this afternoon after work.
All that space where guilt lived is now empty. I get the opportunity for a do-over! A re-creation of myself, if you will.
Maybe I'll fill that space with dancing....I like to dance. And I'm a bit old school in my taste.
So, this afternoon, you will find me on the treadmill at the Y, earbuds blasting Nelly's "Air Force Ones" and I'll for sure 'get to stomping in my air force ones!'..........and I might be 'shaking a tail feather' to boot!