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I Am More Than Just A Weight Loss Surgery!

Lyra

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Okay, venting shall now occur and I consider this fair warning!

 

So I realize that I should be grateful that (for the most part) my friends, coworkers, and family are behind my 100% on this surgery. It definitely takes down the stress level and for those who look down on me for it I have no problem walking away. I've been going through the hoops and am almost done with all my classes/tests. In fact, all I have is the EKG (Monday!) and the support group meeting (3/8!) and I'm done pending final clearance by the insurance company. So why am I all "bitchy Lyra" right now? For the last few weeks all any of my friends want to talk about is the surgery. Again, I tell myself that I am happy that they're so curious and supportive...but it feels that anytime we get together somebody brings it up and they continually ask me if I'm scared/nervous/excited. They can't seem to believe me that no, I'm not scared. They ask me if I'm going to miss eating, etc. I dont really want to talk about how I'm worried that I might have emotional upheavel for awhile afterwards as I go from food being my emotional blankie to just something that I eat to survive. I feel so mean spirited and hypocritical, but I'm getting really frustrated with them. I am more than just a weight loss surgery. Talk to me about horrible monster/zombie movies, my art classes, work, my hobbies, my bucket list, my desire to play the violin...anything other than my surgery. I have this nagging fear that after it they're going to want daily updates on my weight loss. I know that it's up to me to have boundaries but this is just maddening. I love these people dearly and don't want to snap at them but I'm so irritated right now. Perhaps there is such a thing as being too supportive? God, what an oxymoron. Anybody else have this happen to them?

 

Okay, rant over. On the flip side I had my chest xray done yesterday and had a funny conversation with the technician.

 

Tech: So this is pre-op for gastric bypass?

Me: No, it's for the vertical sleeve gastrectomy of the stomach.

Tech: So its for the bypass.

Me: No, there is no bypassing. It's a VSG.

Tech: So its a lapband.

Me: ....no.

 

Personally I think it's more disturbing for them to totally bypass your stomach or to have a plastic thingy in your side where a surgeon can influence a choke-collar on your stomach. This woman was horrified at the idea of someone cutting part of your stomach out, which to me was the saner choice. Po-tay-toe, po-tah-to.



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Yup, people go "what do you mean they remove a part of your stomach?"

Your friends are probably in a situation where they are dealing with alot of it too. It might be that you are hearing the same thing over and over, but it is different people. I doubt all of your friends are present to hear every conversation.

It must be frustrating. My Mom passed away just after my surgery, and I went home and had to tell a few more people than I had intended to immediately, and I got alot of questions, even in that situation. Not by the people who didn't know my Mom well, and not by people just being crude - but people who wanted to reassure themselves I was OK.

Many of us have already been the caregivers of the groups we find ourselves in. We are often the peacekeepers, the 'git er done's, the motivators, the picture takers, the event planners, the logistics, etc...Now we are admitting to ourselves we are not OK, we have flaws - big ones - and this can make our friends really lost and scared.

But, yes, frustrating as all heck.

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Thanks for posting. I am also feeling the same way. Everybody who knows I am having surgery wants to talk about that. Actualy I am more nervous about taking my nursing boards, which are a week before my surgery.

** Everybody calls my surgery the gastric bypass and I always correct them. I feel the same way you do about the Band and the bypass.

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The other day I ranted about my pants falling off and later I had to laugh at myself. lol At the end of the day you have a great group of friends and a tech that has never heard of VSG. Hopefully you will smile later. :-)

PS. By smiling and saying to your friends "I promise I'm good" (or something like that) and changing the subject when they bring up surgery will take care of it eventually.

Po-tay-toe, po-tah-to = HILARIOUS!!!!!!! LOL

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Your friends really love you alot and are trying to wrap their head around this procedure we've chosen to do. It is still frustrating to have this be the topic every time your together. I are with longer-life, change the subject or tell them in a nice way that your over the talk about the surgery your going to have.

You are doing really good. I just realized that I had changed my view about food before my surgery. I was totally eating less portions and alot more happier and my transition after the surgery was relatively easy. Very grateful for this transition. Hope my belief about food stays. LOL ')

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone! ;)

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It's funny that so many in the medical field have not heard of this surgery. My sister-in-law had the Gastric Bypass 4 years ago and is a registered XRAY techinician in a hospital and she had no idea what I was talking about.

Fortunately, I have complete support of everyone that I have shared with. My family and most of my friends know. And, fortunately they only asked questions in the beginning and that was regarding the procedure and if I was comfortable that I could remain healthy over the long term. This was my explanation to them:

I have done my research for the last couple years and I don't want the by-pass or lap-band, however for about a year I was researching the lap-band and going back and forth on whether I would do it or not, liking that it was reversible. Not liking the re-routing of the RYN. But, then I accidentally happened upon the Sleeve and was at first freaked that they remove that much of the stomach, but it made sense to allow that restriction, since this is one of the main issues....too much food. I struggled with "Am I crazy to have them remove part of my body in order to win this battle?" But, eventually I came to the realization that I am trying to overcome my diabetes, high blood pressure, weight, over working my other body parts carrying the weight and become healthy overall. The Sleeve would allow me to do this. And......everyday doctors are removing parts of peoples bodies to improve their health situation.....gall bladder, appendix, etc.

After that the questions were pretty much gone and they left it alone.

My 16 year old daughter is funny, normally she allows me to fix her dinner and such, but since I started my Pre-Op she has insisted every night that she is good and can do it herself. How sweet that she is silently supporting me and understanding that fixing her food might tempt me!

I will be praying that your approval comes fast and that your friends become tongue tied! LOL

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Many of us have already been the caregivers of the groups we find ourselves in. We are often the peacekeepers, the 'git er done's, the motivators, the picture takers, the event planners, the logistics, etc...Now we are admitting to ourselves we are not OK, we have flaws - big ones - and this can make our friends really lost and scared.But, yes, frustrating as all heck.

Wow, that paragraph was like you were spying on my life! .....you're not, right? Just kidding! I hadn't thought about it that they might be scared for me and were needing reassurance. Apparently many of them hadn't realized how desperately unhappy I have been, and how whistfully I had sometimes sat out certain events even when I really, really wanted to do them. Ex: rock climbing, kyaking, etc. I'm not the person whose shoulder is good for crying on, but I've always been the one who makes sure that your fridge is stocked, your house cleaned and your dog taken care of when life hits the proverbial fan. I think people had gotten so used to me being the strong one that it freaked my best friends out when I got teary when explaining just why I was going to allow my stomach to be sliced and diced. They had gotten so used to me using humor and a quick smile to put off any of their concerns that they didn't really see what I really felt. I'm glad that I'm having this surgery and it has brought my friends and I closer together...even though sometimes I still want to plug my fingers in my ears and go "na na na naaa, I can't hear you!" *grin*

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You are so blessed with friends that want to know everything you are about to go through. They have not been to the classes or been to the doctor appointments with you so all they can do is ask questions. They are all afraid for you even if you are not. They are doing the only thing they know how to do. It may be nerve racking to you, but for them all they see and hear is that you are having SURGERY and that is scary.

They have sites that you can post on facebook that will help answer some of the questions maybe if they see what it is that you are doing they will feel more comfortable about it and soon the only question will be how much have you lost now.

God has truly blessed you with such wonderful friends to stand up and be beside you.

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