Don't feel sorry for me, seriously.

I have been very forthcoming about my surgery with all of the important people in my life and also many people who would qualify as acquaintances. I don't see the point in hiding or lying about it. If anyone things that I took the easy way out, that is really their issue. I know that I have to do the work for all of this and that the surgery might help me, but it isn't going to "fix" me.

My father and I are not close. Sometimes I hear from him every two weeks, sometimes every two months. This is ok with me, because he is a difficult person. I love him because he is my dad, but I wouldn't be able to tolerate him if he wasn't. He called me this evening and when I told him I was having surgery in two weeks, he asked why. I had mentioned this to him before and he quickly changed the subject. I don't know if he wasn't listening or if he just didn't want to discuss it. I didn't push it, because we aren't really close and he is entitled to his opinion. Today he said, "It makes me sad that you feel like you have to do that." I told him that I am doing it because I want to live, not just exist. I also told him that I am tired of having my weight hold me back from doing the things that I want to do. I think he was coming from a good place, but it was frustrating for me that he just couldn't be happy for me.

I don't need his pity, that's for sure.

I am proud of myself for taking things into my own hands and I am definitely not going to let him take that away from me.