I can’t believe it is finally here. After months of patiently crossing items off of my to do list, psychological evaluation, PCP meetings, Dietitian meetings, blood work, ekgs. The list was endless.

I am here.

This afternoon my mom and I will make the 2 hour trip to the city where I will have my surgery. I have to be at the hospital at 8am and they should start cutting on me at 9.

Maybe it’s cold feet- or perhaps pre-surgery jitters. I find that I am not as excited as I thought I would be. I find that I worry. I worry that I am at least an hour away from any medical facility that knows squat about VSG. Our local healthcare is a joke.

I worry that I will have complications, and have nowhere to go…and no one to take me.

It will be fine. I am sure of it. My surgeon does bariatric surgery exclusively. He has done hundreds if not thousands of VSG surgeries. He seemed to think that mine was going to be ultra easy. I hope he is right.

I am nervous. I worry about my mom. She isn’t in the best of health herself. And she gets lost easy. I worry that she will get lost in the city. I worry that she wont eat or take her meds right and she will crash again. I worry more about her than I do about me.

I cannot wait until this is over.