Military ball, swimsuits, swimming in the gulf, milestones

This last week was a whirlwind. We had the Security Forces ball on Friday, and it was awesome. I was complimented on my dress by a lot of strangers, and my husband's face just lit up every time someone told us what a great looking couple we were. I don't think I've ever felt so fabulous. It was my first ball, my first formal since my senior year prom. Least to say, it was emotional, and fun all rolled into one.

Saturday we headed out with some friends on their boat. We fished, swam, saw dolphins, and had a great time. I did buy a swimsuit, and felt amazing in it. I did buy a cover up, but it's just this lacy thing with sleeves. I felt confident walking into the shoppette on base just wearing that, and didn't think twice about anyone else seeing me. For the first time since 8th grade, that's 19yrs for those counting LOL, that I haven't been self conscious. Not to mention, this is the first time since 8th grade that I've owned a swimsuit. It was all new territory for me. But, I met the mental challenge head on, and conquered it. I couldn't believe that I wasn't worried about what people were thinking. I just let everything go, and I feel like a huge weight (no pun intended) has been lifted off of me. I am just living life for the first time, and you know what, it feels amazing.

We were busy all weekend. The husband got sunburnt and looks like a lobster, the kiddo told me how beautiful I looked in my gown, and I had an amazing time without all the worries, and self-doubt. That's huge milestone in my journey. I don't get many NSVs anymore, I'm just living, and that alone is the biggest NSV thus far. I had to realize that I was taking all the little things for granted. Like, not huffing and puffing after lugging groceries in from the truck, my knees not screaming at me after walking around the mall for 2-3 hours (sometimes more if I hit other stores when I'm in the shopping mood), all the things that made me miserable when I was fat are gone. Physically and mentally I'm stronger and healthier than I have ever been. That's not to say, that I don't have a bad day here and there, we all do, and I've learned that it's okay to have a bad day. I am still critical of myself, and my flaws. I want to not fret over the wrinkly skin, and for the most part, it doesn't bother me. Some days are just tougher than others, and I have to remind myself of where I came from, and look to the future.

The sleeve has given me a life I never had before, and I can't wait to live each day to the fullest.