This time it's for me!

Where to start? My 1st memory regarding my weight was at age 7. I was chubby, not fat. I slimmed down when I was 10 or so but by age 13 plumped up again. That's when my mom put me on my 1st diet. By age 15 I was going to Weight Watchers and I only weighed 135 lbs. At age 16 my bf said I could lose a few so I started starving myself, literally.

Over the next 10-15 years I would yo-yo but never got above 165 lbs. even when pregnant. But, somehow everyone around me always thought I needed to lose more.

Gradually though, I did gain more and more. This time the weight would stay with me for several years.

Two years ago, I started having pain in my lower back. I ignored it as much as I could but became more sedentary and then the weight really piled on. The more I gained, the less I moved, so the more I gained.

It's been almost 2 years since I grocery shopped, went to the mall, or did anything besides go to the dr. I don't even have a valid driver's liscence anymore. If I didn't have the internet, I would lose my mind.

About 6 months ago I found out that I have 4 bulging discs in my lower back. Now, I can only stand for 1-2 minutes without being in SEVERE pain.

My husband (God love him) does everything, shopping, cooking, you name it.

I did months of physical therapy for my back but no luck. It seems that for me to get to the next level of therapy, I have to get the weight off first. So here I am.

I used to play outside with my grandchildren and I miss that so much.

I spent my whole life feeling like I had to look a certain way to fit in or even be loved. But, now I have a wonderful husband who is so supportive and would do anything for me and loves me no matter what.

I'm scheduled to get sleeved on 6/4/2010. It's not for anyone's approval, or acceptance. It's for my health, my life, my future.