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Fighting my way out of the "dead zone"

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deletedsally

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My surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday. There is no question...I am scared of the unknown future that will follow surgery...

but I am more scared of the known consequences of no surgery: Another diet, and eventual weight regain. I have dieted most of my life. I have a "lifetime key" at Weight Watchers. I worked as a counselor at Diet Center. I have easily lost and regained more than 500 pounds during my lifetime. I was a ballet dancer in college, weighing in at my lowest adult weight of 119 pounds--and yet here I am, barely able to waddle at 283 pounds. How's that for visible evidence of all my dieting successes? My life has been consumed by trying to control my weight. Now the key word is Morbid. Morbid Obesity. Morbid because this problem with my weight has in many ways been a hidden death sentence. Technically, I am alive, but even though I am 54 years old, I might at well be 84. It hurts to walk, it hurts to stand, it hurts to sit, it hurts to sleep. I have sleep apnea and high blood pressure. No energy to do much of anything. Morbid? Yep...it's the life of the living dead. I'm hoping that this surgery is going to take me out of the "dead zone" and offer me the opportunity to enjoy life again.

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I hear you and I feel the same pain, except I have about 80 pounds more than you at this point. In a bizarre way, I wonder what my life will be consumed with if not food, if not dieting, if not wondering what I can wear that fits the person on the inside, yet not too revealing or revealing. I feel that life has passed me by in so many ways as I tried inconsistently to fight this battle. What do people of normal weight, responses to guilt and anxiety do with their thought life? Do they wonder about global warming and gov't run healthcare while I am trying to figure out what to eat for dinner?

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I just had it done coming up on 4 weeks now.... I can tell you I was concerned but it was actually the easiest sugery I ever had. Now the eating part is a different story. The amount you can eat in the first few weeks is very very very little. However, you don't feel hungry so heck that is sort of easy also. You look at food differently like how can anyone possibly eat a subway foot long. When I know I have eaten 1 and 1/2 of them myself. When I see ads on TV I can't believe what I am seeing in the full plates of food. The amount you need to be full will surprise you. Go for it I have now lost 49 lbs and still going. I am also going to the gym and just sort of walking on the eliptical machine. I hear the band only limits food so you still feel hungry with this you don't feel the hunger and if you do it is no where even close to what you use to feel.

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