Desperate feelings about food

feel really desperate right now. I can't explain how I feel, I am trying to sort it our as I feel it. My husband wants to take me out dancing. I don't want to go. He wants to go out and celebrate my banding next week. He is being careful to eat before we go, not in front of me and is not going to eat at the restaurant where the dancing is.

I feel like if I can't eat, it's not worth going. Today is day 1 of my pre op and I am not going to blow it. My husband won't let me either. Why do I feel this way? Like if I can't eat, it's not worth going out and having a good time with my husband?????

It makes me realize how food centered everything is. My mom also wants to go out to eat breakfast with my daughters and I. I told her I couldn't eat because I am doing my pre op diet. She said "what does that mean, you can't go out and eat with me ever again?" I told her that just because I can't eat, doesn't mean she and my daughters couldn't and that soon, I could eat something lite or soup.

I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry, like my stomach is a black hole. I know I am going to go through some emotions and it makes me feel better coming here and talking about it. I want to have fun, my husband wants to go have fun. Why am I mourning the food part of it? I think I screwed up and opened up my appetite by overeating and eating what ever I wanted. My first pre op diet wasn't like this. I didn't feel like this. I am also in that first week before my period, and I feel extra funky and hungry because of that. :help:

Well, at least I will definitely get my exercise in today. We are going salsa and merengue dancing. It takes a lot of energy to do that. I am feeling better venting. I was venting to my husband too, but he just doesn't understand how I feel. He is trying to be very supportive and is really excited about my surgery for me. He listens, but he doesn't understand. I can tell he feels sorry for me.

Man, I think I need those Quick Slim 30. My stomach aches. Has anyone else felt like this????????

I am also posting this on my journal. I want to document my journey through this whole process. It made me feel better posting and venting to people who understand what I am going through. I am going to go out with my husband, and have a great time! I am not going to let food keep me from being young and going out dancing with the man I love. I don't want him to see me this way. I need to get myself together, stop being a victim, poor me, poor me and get a grip!!!

It's time to go!!!!