Are You Kidding Me?!?

Still smarting from the verbal slap from my surgeon and PA.

"Why didn't you come in sooner if it was that bad?" has been an earworm in my brain and I've been beating myself up...maybe I've not tried hard enough...maybe it's all in my head...

Like a lot of women I put myself last before all my other "gotta do" responsibilities.

Since even with the daily hurl, my weight pretty much stayed the same from July '12 until December '12 and other than annoyance of being sick, not being able to eat in public etc., I was otherwise healthy I dragged my heels on going to the doctor. Face it - after 2011's trip down breast cancer lane, I'd had enough doctors appointments. Going to my WLS cattle market with it's deli counter vibe - "Number 86", "Number 87"...was not something to look forward to.

So I had to laugh when I got home yesterday to find a message on my voice mail advising me that my WLS,"Wasn't going to be in on X date and we've rescheduled your appointment to X...". Three weeks from now. So I guess it's okay for the Doctor to have other commitments arise but not for thePatient.

In hindsight, yeah - it is "that bad". My weight is creeping up which only half surprises me. The list of what I can't eat gets longer and longer, but we all know the slider foods work especially when you're starving, on a short deadline...

Yesterday was what I like to call "classic"...

Even my thyroid medicine which I take first thing in the morning gives me the 'stop & drop' feeling. End up throwing up six times during the course of the day on food previously "safe". Often have a delay of 30 minutes or more following eating before getting sick which can be triggered by sitting down, or bending over. Often feels like it's not only food in the pouch, but food in my stomach coming back up.

I so love having to not only make sure I'm still in my pj's to eat(bra and anything fitted on my waist and nothing's going down) but also having to wait to jump in the shower. Gee - if it's a day when I need to shave my legs, gotta make sure breakfast stays down as just bending over to shave could be lethal.

Ah yes, totally normal and likely all my fault - she said, sarcastically!